Dennis143

Sounds like a gigantic juggling act. Who knows where the ball will get dropped and what the effect will be? I suppose continuing with the belief that as long as the truth isn't known then ignorance is bliss and everyone will go on their happy way...

OK, waiting for your pics.

I agree. Seems the questions posted are directed at an ABC who is as American as you and I, yet must continue answering these annoying questions.

Those were great answers, Ruby. Thank you for that insightful post. It is wonderful to know how comfortable and stress free your life is now. I don't think anyone wants stress in our lives. I guess it was wishful thinking on my part to not expect you ladies to make comparisons between your mother country and here.

My dear friend, Yajie, er Catherine. I simply asked what you liked or didn't like about living in America, but you decide to open a whole different can of worms. OK, I will respond to your questioning about American men (in BOLD type above)... Let's face it. Most, if not all, of us American men chose to seek a Chinese wife as an alternative after having failed with American women. Sure, I suppose, many of us seem fickle in that going in we were never fully aware of all the cultural differences we would face and then suddenly run to the hills when we realize how different and daunting these differences are especially when comparing why we couldn't endure an American wife and now faced with even greater challenges with a Chinese wife. Bùyào zhǎo jièkǒu I think there's a thin line with many of us where we fall madly in love with this new, exotic person and then find out this precieved docile Asian woman of our dreams is actually quite strong and demanding. Some of us can stand, accept, appreciate and endure. Some others cannot. You know as well as all of us that people are people and everyone is different... no culture can be easily put in a box.

Please, I don't mean this to be a question about the differences, good or bad, between America and China. I've asked this question several times to my Chinese ESL students and they've, mostly, been reluctant to answer thinking (I guess) that they did not want to show disrespect to their mother country. And, I really don't care to learn what is better or not about living in China vs. living here... I know it is difficult not to compare... especially the social life you had in China. I understand. I'm simply curious if our Chinese lady members would consider sharing with us the good and the bad they find living here.

You ladies gave some heart-warming stories how your new mothers-in-law have embraced and helped your transition to your new home. Sadly, my mother never liked any woman I brought home. None were good enough for me in her eyes. I finally got to a point where I just gave up on mom's feelings and just put the woman I was with first. That meant that my woman's feelings were more important than mom's... sorry mom, but I had to live my life for me and that means making wife happy first and foremost. I truly believe that most American women (mothers) will empathize with their new Chinese daughters learning about their new life here and want their new daughters to feel they are loved and comforted while they get their feet on the ground. We Americans like to joke about mean mothers-in-law, but the truth is most mothers just want someone to love their sons as much as they love them.

Really warms my heart to see this. I really don't know any better way to endear yourself than to learn to speak the local language where you might want to do business, as Carl mentioned. Of course, it was probably having a Chinese wife who pushed him to become the best he can be.

IMO, No. But, it can't hurt to try eh?

Absolutely right. She will need to show that she has ties to China like owning property or a business.

Speaking of drugs, I have been supplying Sildenafil pills to a Chinese woman who takes them to China and resales. I buy 500 100mg tablets at ~$150. I sell them to her for $2.00 ea. I don't know what she sells them for, but I guess at a pretty good profit. I make a bit over $800 with each 500 tablet transaction. And, so far, she's been asking for a new 500 tab supply about every other month. I'm surprised that Chinese pharmacies don't have this available or maybe the quality is suspect? Meanwhile, I will continue to assist in China's new baby boom.

My wife's friend asked if we could acquire and send her a certain chemo drug for her breast cancer. So sad, so desperate to get help. First, because the demand is so small, these medicines are extremely expensive. Second, only a doctor can obtain them, as they're not sold over the counter and or through the internet and you should be very suspicious if you did find some through those means at an affordable price. Lastly, these must be administered by a qualified health professional, as they are normally given in an IV drip over several hours. The frequency would depend on the type of cancer being treated. BTW, the term "chemo" is a broad term meaning a cocktail chemistry of drugs designed to treat and target a specific cancer. As an example; my wife's blood disease was treated with the chemo drug called Rituxan. This was taken from one of the online pharmacy sites that sell Rituxan: Specialty medication This drug is considered a specialty medication, which means: It is very expensive. A typical fill can cost $5,778 or more for 8 vials (10ml) of Rituxan 10mg/ml.

I agree. I was also unaware of this holiday when I was stranded in Nanning alone back in 2005. I awoke early and decided to go for a walk. I was surprised to see the streets practically abandoned with few cars or bikes. The only thing stirring were a group doing their early morning TaiChi. The city didn't come alive until closer to noon, but even then wasn't as bustling as a normal day.

I nor most all my friends would not think anything of it. When we invite someone to our home for dinner we do not expect the quest to bring anything, as the treat is on us. Of course, if someone brings a bottle of wine or a small token it is appriciated, but it is NEVER expected. Now, I will say that the dinner guest do owe the hosts a dinner in return.

Close enough, Joe. Close enough. OK... truth... IMO = In My Opinion

IMO it's a whole different situation having their daughter move to the other side of the world probably forever vs. having our American parents who live with us in the US come and stay for months at a time here in our home. Now if the situation were reversed, I certainly doubt that my parents would want to come stay with us for a lengthy visit in China. THAT I can guarantee you. Talk about a fish out of water... Let's face it. As we age, we don't like to be taken out of our comfort zone. We like to be where things are familiar, where there are few surprises, where we feel like we have some control. It appears that, if they miss you so much, the best choice is for you to return for more frequent visits.

If a couple has a 3-4 year old child a drum would not be a good present. My impression is Americans are good at giving gifts. The Christmas gift is a little overwhelming, though. But very good practice to think about other people. The gift isn't as important as it's the thought that counts, Joecy. One thing that I have learned is that when visiting someone in China it is not quite as important to bring a gift at the beginning, as it is to give a gift of appreciation when leaving.

From all the angst that California's high speed rail is going through with different municipals having different requirements as to speed and where it can run etc, it seems that it takes a communist government to overcome all that red tape and simply say this is where the track will be laid and this is how fast it will go.

Yes, I remember Eunice's answer. I doubt that the OP does and I believe that he deserves an honest answer from those of us who know.

Sorry, I meant Catfished... People who pretend to be someone who they aren't online. Usually for purposes of fraud (i.e. obtaining money etc....)) http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=catfished Sorry about my quick reply with the misspelling. I believe that all of us men here at CFL have been around this block once maybe more and all have an opinion about your question. Here's mine... US dating sites like Match.com, eHarmony etc are typically Americans (westerners) looking for an American mate or date. If your wife's cousin is fluent in both written and spoken English, I would suggest that she join any of these sites. I would not recommend her joining if she uses a translator service to read, write and catch someone for her. Those who use those services usually do so through Chinalovelinks.com, AsianFriendFinders or any number of sites that try to hook up an Asian woman with a western man through any means possible. If money is an issue for her, some sites give price breaks to the ladies. You should know that your wife's cousin and millions of other Chinese women are looking for the same goal. The competition is truly unreal. There really is no simple one answer fits all to the OPs question. A little more information would help as to her age, children status, and English literacy might help giving a more appropriate answer too.

What do you mean by "catshished multiple times"?

Yup, iTalkBB that's what we use too. Great deal and reliable. Wife and her sis in Nanning both have ipads where they now do daily "face time". For a $300 investment for each ipad and having no fees to "face" each other is probably your best investment that would pay for itself in the long term. BTW, if you're not sure what "face time" is, it's an ipad video connection where both persons talk and view each other instantly without those streaming interruption that webcams used to do. I am still just in complete awe whenever I see Leiqin and her sis sitting and talking while they're going about their daily routines, as if they're sitting next to each other.

Like Chang ‘e, I too have on more than one occasion drank a magic potion and flew to the moon.

Welcome back, Dan. I told Leiqin and her son, Ning, that I would pay for Ning's trip back to Nanning when he finishes and gets certified as a radiologist in November. He hasn't been back since he and his mama arrived in 2001. Leiqin wants me to go with them. But, I really hate those long flights. And, I often feel like I'm her white monkey that everyone wants to take their picture with. However, after reading your post, it kind of gives me an itch to return one last time and see all those changes that you write about... hmmm

Jeepers Larry, I think you best upload some pics to Facebook pronto.