Dennis143

We haven't got together in a number of years now, but we used to have a lot of CFL gatherings here in SoCal... http://i62.tinypic.com/2nvv0vr.jpg http://i62.tinypic.com/4uv47m.jpg http://i57.tinypic.com/1550y0i.jpg This one was actually a Florida gathering... http://i60.tinypic.com/2wexf5s.jpg

I do think I know why Doug (and maybe a few of us) perfer a bench seat to buckets... ...let's just say bench seats were less confining.

Sammy, You can start by asking us about any specific issues that you've encountered. Hopefully, there won't be a dozen differing answers and opinions.

Well, you will always have us here for you, Joecy. I was unemployed looking for work about twenty years ago. It was the first time I experienced not being among the working. I was isolated at home when I wasn't out looking for work or going on interviews. One thing that struck me was how important social interaction is with humans. Working and interacting with your coworkers satisfies those feelings of being socially connected. I remembered when I finally landed the job I have today and how good it felt to be among everyone else who was commuting to work. I sometimes concerned that when/if I retire that I will have similar feelings of being socially isolated and I know that I must, need to continue to teach ESL and Citizenship or something to keep me connected to the outside world. My wife, Leiqin, said that she cried for the first two years she was here. She felt so lonely and isolated. Fortunately, we live among the largest population of Asians in America. And, especially through our church, Leiqin has met and has a large circle of Chinese friends here. In fact, I admit that many of my closest friends are Chinese too. So, she's lucky.... I guess. I'm not so sure that being isolated within such a large Chinese community has been the best for my wife's ability to adapt to the real western life. Still, it is what it is. You live in Michigan. Is it a small town? Are there any opportunities where you can work or volunteer your time? Hang in there. Every day gets easier.

My wife stir fries everything. I enjoy her greens mixed with meats the best. She's learned to season her dishes with spices that are more western, as some Asian sauces can be a bit strange to our tastes. Her son, Ning, has been here now for 13 years. He's 27, so he now has western tastes, but still enjoys his mamas food. Ning does the baking. Cooks tri-tip, with mushrooms, green - red and yellow peppers, roasted tomatoes with small potatoes and carrots. http://i61.tinypic.com/awuffa.jpg Try buying a pre-seasoned tri-tip or other meat. Bake in the oven at around 350 degrees for ~45 mins. Bake some potatoes in the microwave (poke holes in the taters first). Add a fresh uncooked green salad of lettuce, tomatoes and any other vegies you might want to add. Traditional meat and potato all-American meal. Wifie cooks what she knows we like and then cooks food for herself.

http://i59.tinypic.com/jjmob7.png Beats me... maybe due to the movie industry?

Carl, it is funny that you mentioned window pane and McCall, Idaho. Back in the summer of 74 two friends and I spent three months on the road, camping in a huge 8-man tent and seeing the country. We left home with a half-pound of grass and 100 hits of window pane. We camped in the mountains just north of McCall and I had one of the most fearful experiences of my life there. I always got up first, got the fire going and put on some coffee. I rolled a splif, dropped a hit of window pane, and after a cup of java, decided to take a walk in the woods. It was about six in the morning. I came upon a 50-foot cliff and looked down in time to see a huge grizzley bear standing up on its back feet looking up at me. He must have smelled me long before I arrived. Anyway, he was looking for a way up the incline. I had just come on to the window pane and I absolutely freaked. I must have set a land speed record getting back to the camp site. We went down the mountain, all tripping on the window pane, and had breakfast in some little cafe by the lake in McCall. We hung around that area for about a week before heading down to Twin Falls to watch Evel Knievel try to jump the Snake River Canyon on his rocket cycle. We also took in Expo 74 up in Spokane. I remember doing some window pane and going into the house of mirrors, which was a big mistake. Yikes!! We always heard of window pane or blotter out here in the west coast, but rarely saw any pass my way. There were plenty of pills; purple barrells, orange sunshine... very strong. I dropped a tab of orange sunshine in quart bottle of beer and three of us took turns taking a swig and spent another night watching Mexican wrestling on B&W TV until morning when it was time to start farting at the sunrise.

My Leiqin usually nods off like a baby once we're underway driving somewhere. Stays occupied pretty much like your Bing, Carl. I try to make frequent stops to stretch about once an hour to break the monotony. Truth is, the older I get the less I care to sit behind a wheel driving for hours or most of the day. Leiqin wants to go to Vegas to see friends. Last time I rented a large van and ~10 of us went to Vegas. I've decided that if we go again we'll take a casino bus and let the casino pay for most of the travel expense. I'm with you, Joecy, take the bus. And, welcome home!

Poof... where did all the ladies go? I was really enjoying their input... nice change. Hope they're still around.

Why would you "have to contend" with your wife having a purse?

Interesting question, Greg. Here in SoCal there are Chinese business women who hire and caravan Chinese women (my wife included) on shopping sprees to these outlets to specifically buy Coach purses. The outlets limit a maximum purchase of 3 purses. So, they buy those 3 purses times 10 women equals 30 purses and the LaoBan pays them each $50 cash for their time. I'm told that the purses are taken to China and sold for 4 times or more over the outlet purchase price. Let's face it, it's the brand name and the belief that the purse is the real deal are what's important to the women who end up buying them. Apparently, this outlet buying is a profitable business. A friend of my wife does this too except the Coach outlet stores in the Portland area (3) allow 10 purses. My wife goes along once in a while. They give her $35.00 when she does. I'll have to tell her they give $50.00 in LA. The 3-pcs maximum quantity was just a guess. It's pretty much an all day deal, as they caravan to the Palm Springs Coach outlet which is ~100 miles away. Of course Leiqin had to have her own Coach purse and spent her earnings on two of them.

Interesting question, Greg. Here in SoCal there are Chinese business women who hire and caravan Chinese women (my wife included) on shopping sprees to these outlets to specifically buy Coach purses. The outlets limit a maximum purchase of 3 purses. So, they buy those 3 purses times 10 women equals 30 purses and the LaoBan pays them each $50 cash for their time. I'm told that the purses are taken to China and sold for 4 times or more over the outlet purchase price. Let's face it, it's the brand name and the belief that the purse is the real deal are what's important to the women who end up buying them. Apparently, this outlet buying is a profitable business.

Hi YaJie, I am curious about the emergency services provided in China. So many of my Chinese friends are amazed at the many emergency responses we have here in the US. And, so many of my Chinese friends tell me they never experience emergency responders in China like we have in America. I am pleasantly surprised to read that your post contradict what my friends tell me. Can you tell me if your emergency response system in China is satisfactory, in your eyes? My wife tells me that growing up in Nanning that she's never seen an ambulance or police respond to a call like we have here with our 911 system. During my last visit to Nanning in 2009, I watched a woman ringing a large bell in a courtyard. My wife spoke to the woman who told her that her apartment had been broken into and she was ringing the bell to alert everyone to be wary and on the lookout for the invader. No one seemed to take any notice of the bell or the bell ringer. And, of course, I simply wondered why was'nt the police called?

Here's a social tip for American men... Thinking of Ruby's pregnancy reminded me of Chinese friends who were secretly trying to have a baby. My wife confided in me that "Nancy" was finally pregnant. I was so happy that the next time I saw them I came up and congratulated them on the wonderful news. Instead of thanking me, they both stared at me sheepishly and told me that it was bad luck to congratulate someone during their first month of the pregnancy. I felt bad and tried my best to cheer them up by telling them that "I give them my lucky". A week later Nancy miscarried. Until this day I think they blame me for their bad luck. That was two years ago and they're still trying.

That's a wonderful introduction, Zhenghong. Don't sell yourself short. My wife has been here 13 years and can barely read or write English. :shrug: You run circles around her.

I'm a bit confused with your statement. Just from antecdotal experience, I see and know many Chinese students being accepted into both public and private universities on, what seem to me, rather slim acceptance criteria. From what I understood is that colleges and universities are actively seeking rich Chinese who can pay those high tuition costs in cash and in advance. Let's face it, money does talk. Here's an article from the NYTimes (albeit a couple years old now, so don't know if things have changed much today and I'm too lazy to look any further. ) SEATTLE — This is the University of Washington’s new math: 18 percent of its freshmen come from abroad, most from China. Each pays tuition of $28,059, about three times as much as students from Washington State. And that, according to the dean of admissions, is how low-income Washingtonians — more than a quarter of the class — get a free ride. With state financing slashed by more than half in the last three years, university officials decided to pull back on admissions offers to Washington residents, and increase them to students overseas... http://www.nytimes.com/2012/02/05/education/international-students-pay-top-dollar-at-us-colleges.html?pagewanted=all

So, you don't want to get married right now, but you still want to be together. You'd prefer to leave China for good, but only if she can get a visa to somewhere in the north American continent. She can't secure a visa, because she can't show ties to China. You want to continue school and your parents will continue to support that endeavor. To be honest, without going the marriage visa route she's basically on her own to get a visa somehow. I suggest she apply to different US Universities. If accepted and if her family is wealthy enough to pay the tuition, the university will file for the student visa on her behalf which seems to be seldom if ever denied. Good luck.

Good one, Doug. On the topic of Chinese food... I tried for years to enjoy everything my wife cooked or Chinese friends made at potlucks or special Chinese food ordered at restuarants. But, I finally had to admit to myself that there are certain flavors that are an acquired Chinese taste and that I probably will never learn to enjoy. When we were first married and were visiting my parents, I made the mistake of asking Leiqin to bring a pot of her mushroom soup for my dad to enjoy. Pop took one sip from the bowl and quietly nudged the bowl as far away from his plate as he could. Chinese are proud of their food. One of the first things Chinese will ask me with a big beaming smile is "Do you like Chinese food?" For a long time, not to offend, I would give them a thumbs up with a "hen hao". But, now I just tell them the truth that I like some and some I don't care for. Don't get me wrong, there are many dishes that I just can't get enough of, still there's an equal amount that I just won't eat. It's the same with American food for Chinese. Take turkey, its an indiginous North American bird with a distinct flavor which Americans love. Turkey has a strange taste to Chinese and can take years if ever for them to learn to enjoy it too. Bottom line, both need to understand and not take offense if one or the other doesn't like the other's favorite dish.

Very interesting. I heard similar comments that you don't need English living in a large Chinese community. Less struggle, less learned, but then, Why America?! Now there's a question I've asked more than once. Only good answer I've been given is the quality of life, clean air and food. I can almost guarantee that almost all of the Chinese I know here is SoCal would love to, yearns to, make the jump from working in the Chinese community to working in an American, English speaking one. Elderly Chinese seek US citizenship as a pathway to getting medicare and social security (I don't know how or why that works, but that's what many strive for). It wasn't too long ago whenever I'd meet someone newly arrived, their English was very limited to nil. Thanks to English being taught in China today, most all the young people have some rudimentary English that they just need to polish through practice. If they're not going to college where they'll use English, they become swallowed up in the Chinese community and lose what little English they arrived with. I am always in demand to sit and talk in English with these friends. I've even been offered payment by some of the wealthier arrivals to set aside a couple of hours each week just to sit and talk (to a young pretty girl).

Dan, I know what you meant. haha... when I was in China, my best friend and I always hold hands walking together, but that was when we were in school... now that we have grown up, and got married, we don't really hold hands like before.. My husband always jokes about females holding hands too.. I've mentioned my theory about this before and I still believe there's some truth in it. Young children need and crave hugs and affection. Because they don't receive those from their parents, they seek it out through their classmates. It's not uncommon at all for my wife and her female friends to walk together arm in arm today. I find it quite endearing. I think Carl mentioned once how it wasn't so uncommon for American boys to walk together with their arms around each other. It's since times have changed and stigmas being attached where those displays of affection are taboo for boys now, but not for girls.

Or just in general, HAPPY WIFE, HAPPY LIFE!!!.... ;-). Great to be back here in Candle for Love. I have been busy since i arrived here in Michigan. Almost finished with school, and now we are expecting a baby girl ;-)... Congratulations Mrs. Gravestey!! Great News!! Let's hope the baby girls gets her daddy's good looks.

I have many long time Chinese female friends here in SoCal. Some still get stiff as a board with arms down at their sides when I try to hug them, usually women over ~45. Some relish hugs and must hug me at every chance... usually younger, under age 40 women. I took every opportunity I got when visiting China to embarrass my wife's girl friends by making sure I gave them big bear hugs lifting them off the ground and twirling them around like a rag doll in the middle of the street when we said goodbye for the last time. Now with guy friends it's a kind of chest bump hug while shaking hands. With fathers or brothers, it's an honest, full blown arms wrapped around each other greeting. Same with moms and sisters.

http://i62.tinypic.com/2uep5vn.jpg What is the source of this quote? More on this issue: http://www.allgov.com/news/us-and-the-world/border-patrol-dealing-with-increased-illegal-immigrants-from-china-131115?news=851667 Border Patrol Dealing with Increased Illegal Immigrants from China Back to Newsriday, November 15, 2013http://dvtfaqskbwkln.cloudfront.net/user_content/newsimages/ccaec493-2baa-4c87-8158-3b236ff285f5.jpeg?app=278Guarding the United States’ border with Mexico against illegal immigration no longer means capturing just individuals who speak Spanish. Mandarin is another language Border Patrol agents must deal with. In recent years, immigrants from China have increasingly tried entering the U.S. through the Mexican border. The numbers are substantial enough for the federal government to now post signs near the international crossing that feature warning messages in English, Spanish and Mandarin. “We have had on occasion a number of Chinese in the groups that we have called in and reported to border patrol,” Jim Gibson of the Texas Border Volunteers told KABB Fox News in San Antonio. “The fact that the federal government put the Chinese language on a rescue beacon is significant and tells us there are a significant number of people from China coming through or else they wouldn’t have bothered with it,” Gibson added. The Border Patrol reported that about 500 Chinese illegal immigrants were apprehended last year in Texas. During the year ending September 2010, 1,157 of those apprehended were of Chinese nationality. While immigrants from Spanish-speaking countries made up more than 95% of Border Patrol apprehensions between 2006 and 2010, immigrants from China accounted for only 0.3% or fewer of annual apprehensions, according to the Department of Homeland Security. Still, they are the second largest group attempting to enter the U.S. illegally, according to Rio Grande Valley Sector Border Patrolsupervisor Daniel Milian. Those Chinese must pay between $50,000 to $60,000 to a “snakehead” to smuggle them in, Texas A&M University professor Dudley Poston, Jr. told KABB. Snakeheads are the equivalent of “coyotes” who sneak Mexicans into the U.S. “We have a quarter million undocumented Chinese in our country now,” added Poston. “We could have maybe a million, a million and a half; I see them in the next five to 10 years taking on a lot of the jobs [that Americans] don't do.” Chinese families see it as a better investment to pay a snakehead to get a relative into the U.S. than it is to start a new business in China, according to Poston. - Danny Biederman, Noel Brinkerhoff

http://i62.tinypic.com/2uep5vn.jpg What is the source of this quote?

What warpedbored said.