If my wife is a "mail order bride", then?

[eeyore]

I would like to add one more thing. I said that I agree w/LC but that is only with his opinion about the article. That is all I agree with though, and for the rest of his statements CL is on his own. I don't think of anyone here as scumbags and respect the difference of opinions. Everyone here so far as offered a lot of support and advise, so I'm not trying to bash anyone, just don't see such a big deal about the article.

[Trigg]

The "big deal" about the article is not written in the article itself. It matters not if one finds it personally offensive. It is however negative and therefore has negative connotations for all who read it. The "big deal" is the fact that our government published it on their web site. Not only a government web site but an ins web site.

 

This appears to everyone who reads it to mean that our beloved immigration workers, by implication, support and agree with this---despite any non-read disclaimer. Should they feel the need to disseminate such useless information to the would be visa petitioners, they could do so in our paperwork, NOT on a public sight. This only serves to raise more eyebrows once we have our darlin's back in the states and to make life more difficult for us and our SO's during an already difficult transition period.

 

Just my opinion.

Trigg

[Mengxin]

The "big deal" about the article is not written in the article itself. It matters not if one finds it personally offensive. It is however negative and therefore has negative connotations for all who read it. The "big deal" is the fact that our government published it on their web site. Not only a  government  web site but an ins web site.

 

This appears to everyone who reads it to mean that our beloved immigration workers, by implication, support and agree with this---despite any non-read disclaimer.  Should they feel the need to disseminate such useless information to the would be visa petitioners, they could do so in our paperwork, NOT on a public sight.  This only serves to raise more eyebrows once we have our darlin's back in the states and to make life more difficult for us and our SO's during an already difficult transition period.

 

Just my opinion.

Trigg

Well put Trigg.

[warpedbored]

Just the fact that the USCIS even uses such an offensive term as "mail order bride" It implies that you are buying a woman through some service and you know nothing about her.

 

Hmmmm I like the supercharged model with the housework control but I wonder if I can get it with larger breasts?

[eeyore]

Just the fact that the USCIS even uses such an offensive term as "mail order bride"  It implies that you are buying a woman through some service and you know nothing about her.   

 

Hmmmm I like the supercharged model with the housework control but I wonder if I can get it with larger breasts?

Lager breasts??? we diffidently are not shopping from the same catalogue

[Trigg]

Breasts???? Plural??? As in two or more??? Bigger???? Damn, I know I should have used more psotage!

[maiyademama]

The "big deal" about the article is not written in the article itself. It matters not if one finds it personally offensive. It is however negative and therefore has negative connotations for all who read it. The "big deal" is the fact that our government published it on their web site. Not only a  government  web site but an ins web site.

 

This appears to everyone who reads it to mean that our beloved immigration workers, by implication, support and agree with this---despite any non-read disclaimer.  Should they feel the need to disseminate such useless information to the would be visa petitioners, they could do so in our paperwork, NOT on a public sight.  This only serves to raise more eyebrows once we have our darlin's back in the states and to make life more difficult for us and our SO's during an already difficult transition period.

 

Just my opinion.

Trigg

This issue can be looked at in several ways. My first reaction to the article was that it was an attempt to excuse why it takes so long to process these visas---the system gets abused.

 

I read it as "please don't blame us that this process takes so long, cuz it takes time to sniff out fraud."

 

I wasn't offended by the negativity. I was offended that they thought I would buy that load of horse shit.

[eeyore]

It is however negative and therefore has negative connotations for all who read it. The "big deal" is the fact that our government published it on their web site. Not only a  government  web site but an ins web site.

 

This appears to everyone who reads it to mean that our beloved immigration workers, by implication, support and agree with this---despite any non-read disclaimer.  Should they feel the need to disseminate such useless information to the would be visa petitioners, they could do so in our paperwork, NOT on a public sight.  This only serves to raise more eyebrows once we have our darlin's back in the states and to make life more difficult for us and our SO's during an already difficult transition period.

 

Good point.

[Guest DragonFlower]

Hey,you guys are still here.I finally went to sleep and then went to work.

I think it is the label"mail order bride"that sort of bothers me.It lumps every body together and dehumanizes what most of us think are pretty wonderful relationsips .We have all met our SO's by various means.But I don't believe I have ever heard someone talking here about being involved in a classical mail order marriage AKA. the frontier plainsmen.

Where she steps off the train and he says"Now what was your name,again?"

 

I for one have probably had better and more communication with my wife than the whole 8 years of my first marriage.(Even with the language handicap).

 

It is not a perfect world.I am not naive .Sometimes abuse happens.

But when somebody makes ungrounded accusations loosely aimed at a whole group of people,I believe that is going too far.

 

I believe someone said my responses were somewhat emotional.

Well for better or worse,emotions are what brought us all to this place.

Because that is one of the things relationships are about.

We all have had our emotions toyed with by the immigration process.

This is in part our common bond here.

 

long

[Mengxin]

Just the fact that the USCIS even uses such an offensive term as "mail order bride"  It implies that you are buying a woman through some service and you know nothing about her.    

 

Hmmmm I like the supercharged model with the housework control but I wonder if I can get it with larger breasts?

Carl, I think you need to have a special license to have 220V run to your house. Fortunately you don't need to get that license from the same office we get our visa's.

 

Speaking of people writing BS stories... Some of you might find this one interesting too. This story shows what can happen when people are held accountable for the crap that they write. Proving that there was absolutely no accountability for the person who wrote the article I'm talking about in this thread.

 

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/6807825/

 

"They also said it was “inappropriate” for Mapes to have helped Burkett get in contact with Joe Lockhart, a political adviser to Democrat John Kerry, in the midst of the presidential campaign. But Boccardi said that to conclude

CBS was guilty of anti-Bush bias would be to make the same mistake “60 Minutes Wednesday” made — drawing a conclusion without enough evidence. "

 

Some of the references used as evidence

Lotus blossoms don't bleed: Images of Asian women. In Making waves: An anthology of writing by and about Asian-American women. Asian Women United of California. Boston: Beacon Press.

Mail-order bride: marriage to a Montana cattle rancher. Good Housekeeping, Feb.

Colorado's mail-order matchmaker. Rocky Mountain News Sunday Magazine. 2 Sept.

Importing a Bride. Up the Creek.

Mail-order brides: a new product in the shopper's catalogue. The Urban Spectrum. 26 June.

[jam]

Hello friend,

 

I just finish reading your message. It may me a bit upset about who was the idiotic moron that took the time to write such a stupid report. I do not think of my wife as a marriage for convenience. I know for a fact that our relationship is based on love and affection that we both have for each other. Although the possibility of getting that "Green Card" falls in the shoulders of some other Asian woman, I feel comfortable saying that in the case of American/Chinese marriages, is simply out of the desire to have a loving family. Yes, you will find a few "Saddle Sores", "bird brains", that will come up with anything negative about us men seeking romance with perhaps a real woman or I should say a real "LADY". Without wasting my time to investigate that report, there is a probability that the report in question was assembled by some "Liberal Neo Nazi Feminist Cry baby". It must be hard to be alone at nights without having someone to love her. She needs to thank the woman's liberal movement for her loneliness. My response to you, enjoy your wife, enjoy your family and disregard those moronic statements. God, please protect our chinese woman from the liberal way of thinking by some of the idiots running around this country of the U.S.A.

 

 

Alberto Maldonado

[oregonknl]

Thomas, I think you under estimate how serious this issue is...

 

As I promised earlier, here are some thoughts about idenitifying prejudice on the USCIS website, and therefore, in the organization itself -----

 

Taz I hope you are listening, and Carl, I agree with you completely that the title: "Mail Order Bride" is inherently prejudicial --- it may have seemed appropriate at one time in our history, but not now... and certainly there are many terms that the Federal government has modified over time to remove prejudice....

 

In profiling the women ---- one of the aspects of this report that I find baffeling is that of the motive listed for marrying American men --- love, apparently isn't one of them...

 

But lets look at the motives that WERE listed.. "Many sources" (but unnamed ) indicate the women are searching for a better life "in terms of socio-economic factors....." the report points out that many of the women are working class .... domestic workers.....

 

... This may be an honest statement at the time it was produced .... but the reality is since the international dating scene has move on to the internet, (and since the women need to be internet proficient -- plus have access --- they are by definition, better educated, and with financial resources...)

 

Part of the problem here though, is that when the women were asked --- THEY CAME UP WITH AN ENTIRELY DIFFERENT ANSWER ~! "......They had an AVERSION to native men. Americans they say, make good husbands while Filipino (Thai/Indonesian/Russia etc.) men do not.

 

Americans are thought to be faithful to their wives, while the native men are cruel and run around with other women. True or not, this is the preception..."

 

"True or not"

 

Yes....

 

Maybe that has something to do with the 80% success rate reported in the Filipino/American marriages... But why speculate in this report about that ????

 

.... when it is some much more "politically correct" to speculate as Mila Gladava was quoted in the conclusion of the report: "those who have used the mail-order bride route to find a mate have control in mind rather than a loving and enduring relationship"

 

SO TAZ ~!!!

 

If the foreign women are correct: That their native male counter parts: "are cruel and run around with other women" Then why is the conclusion of this report that USCIS, and the Congress of The United States Of America should consider restrictions on AMERICAN MEN seeking love over seas????

 

Doesn't the response of the WOMEN more logically indicate that FOREIGN men should be screened more carefully before being admited to the US ????

[eeyore]

Hello friend,

Do you hear yourself?

Your argument is worst and more unfounded than that report. You have a right to be upset but your comments are totally out of place. Be angry, be upset but at least make a legitimate argument, it makes you look very insecure. 

I just finish reading your message. It may me a bit upset about who was the idiotic moron that took the time to write such a stupid report.  I do not think of my wife as a marriage for convenience.  I know for a fact that our relationship is based on love and affection that we both have for each other.  Although the possibility of getting that "Green Card" falls in the shoulders of some other Asian woman, I feel comfortable saying that in the case of American/Chinese marriages, is simply out of the desire to have a loving family.  Yes, you will find a few "Saddle Sores", "bird brains", that will come up with anything negative about us men seeking romance with perhaps a real woman or I should say a real "LADY".  Without wasting my time to investigate that report, there is a probability that the report in question was assembled by some "Liberal Neo Nazi Feminist Cry baby".  It must be hard to be alone at nights without having someone to love her.  She needs to thank the woman's liberal movement for her loneliness.  My response to you, enjoy your wife, enjoy your family and disregard those moronic statements.  God, please protect our chinese woman from the liberal way of thinking by some of the idiots running around this country of the U.S.A. 

 

 

Alberto Maldonado

Do you hear yourself????

Your argument is worst and more unfounded than that report. You have a right to be upset but your comments are totally out of place. Be angry, be upset but at least make a legitimate argument, it makes you look very insecure.

[Trigg]

Hello friend,

 

I just finish reading your message. It may me a bit upset about who was the idiotic moron that took the time to write such a stupid report.  I do not think of my wife as a marriage for convenience.  I know for a fact that our relationship is based on love and affection that we both have for each other.  Although the possibility of getting that "Green Card" falls in the shoulders of some other Asian woman, I feel comfortable saying that in the case of American/Chinese marriages, is simply out of the desire to have a loving family.  Yes, you will find a few "Saddle Sores", "bird brains", that will come up with anything negative about us men seeking romance with perhaps a real woman or I should say a real "LADY".  Without wasting my time to investigate that report, there is a probability that the report in question was assembled by some "Liberal Neo Nazi Feminist Cry baby".  It must be hard to be alone at nights without having someone to love her.  She needs to thank the woman's liberal movement for her loneliness.  My response to you, enjoy your wife, enjoy your family and disregard those moronic statements.  God, please protect our chinese woman from the liberal way of thinking by some of the idiots running around this country of the U.S.A. 

 

 

Alberto Maldonado

Funny funny stuff. Liberal Neo-Nazis??? A true oxymoron (only because you metion morons when speaking of liberals and I'm sure you ment oxymoron) Funny man.

[eeyore]

Maybe, Alberto you are just joking, if so my error for taking it serious.

 

if its ment as a joke, it is funny. hopefully, you do not seriously feel that way, its to scary