The Expat's Corner...

[chilton747]

I'm waiting on a "Rednecks go to China" thread!!! B)

 

Cuzin' Chawls, I done contacted a shippin' company today and got pricin' for a container to ship over a 59' DeSoto with BIG fins. I figger that ol' DeSoto is gonna make one purdy yard ornament sittin' on blocks outside them highrise condos they call houses. I also figger my velvet Elvis collection will be safe inside the DeSoto's trunk for the trip over.

 

I got myself busy today with my Milwalkee scroll saw and I cut some half moon's in some outhouse doors I plan to take over with me. I think as well as teachin' proper redneck english to the Chinabillys that I may have me a side business of sellin' fancy outhouses. Put some red angel hair on the 1X12 seat boards, shucks, them outhouses outta sell like Aunt Jemima pancakes in south Jawja on a Sunday mornin'!!

 

And I got an ol' boy puttin' "Git er done" in Chinese writin' on a bunch of T-shirts. Man I hope he knows what he's doin'...he said he understood Chinese writin', but ol' Bubba wuz a lil' liquored up...I hope his writin' don't say "Yaw suck" or "Give us back our jobs" or somethin' else stupid like a yankee would say.

 

I can jest see 4 or 5 of us rednecks and our wimmin livin' in a single city...a couple of old muscle cars with fins sittin' on blocks in front of our pads...fake empty PBR cans blowin' around...shouts of YEEEEHAAAAAAW YIP YIP YIP when one of gets lucky.....I can just hear you walkin' in to yer english class and sayin' "Howdy Yaw, my name's Chawls and I'm here to teach yaw sum proper english"

 

Chinatucky may never be the same again bubba, especially after Jeff Fox Hung Low and his buddy Larry the Hocker Guy move into town. Ol' Larry the Hocker Guy can show them Chinabillys what sum SERIOUS oyster hockin' is ALL ABOUT....shucks, them lil' clams I seen the Chinese hockin' on the sidewalk ain't squat compared to FULL BLOWN QUIVERIN' OYSTERS that could pull the shoes off a Clydesdale horse....yesssirrreee, you know wud I'ma tawkin' 'bout!!!!!

 

Cuzin' tsap seui

Have oyster

will travel

 

Haaayell yes Cuzin Tsap!!!!!!!!!!! I'm shippin my ol' 66 chevy pickup over yonder too. Right down the street from my house in Zhongshan is a bridge that's perfect for hill jumpin'! I am figgerin that we can drag race your DeSoto and my 66 Chevy truck and finish at the hill jump. Aw man I'm chompin at the bit cuz!!!!!!!!!!! Do ya think I need to remove the rebel flag emblems before I ship it over yonder?

Before you have them T-shirts made then you better let my wife look at it first. Don't want no trouble with our new neighbors if'n you know whadda mean.

 

Hey cuz I was justa thinkin about somethin. I wonder what they would think of us good ol boys chewin and spittin tobacce on their streets? At least them oysters can be seen a whole lot easier

Man we have a lot to learn but ya know what? So do they!!!!! And I aim to teach em.

 

Ya know I just thought of somethin. They are the red Chinese and we are the red necks. They have their red chairman mao books and we have our redneck Jeff Foxworthy books as well! Now alls I got to do is just learn then how to tell redneck jokes in Chinese. Is their a redneck manual written in Chinese? Naw wait a minute, I forgot that I was a "proper" english teacher.

 

Maybe we could get into a spittin contest with our new neighbors?? I guarantee you that a good ol rebel yell before we spit will shake em up

 

Cuzin Chawls

 

Have redneck will travel.

[sleepless in Houston&CQ]

 

Cuzin' Chawls, I done contacted a shippin' company today and got pricin' for a container to ship over a 59' DeSoto with BIG fins. I figger that ol' DeSoto is gonna make one purdy yard ornament sittin' on blocks outside them highrise condos they call houses. I also figger my velvet Elvis collection will be safe inside the DeSoto's trunk for the trip over.

 

I got myself busy today with my Milwalkee scroll saw and I cut some half moon's in some outhouse doors I plan to take over with me. I think as well as teachin' proper redneck english to the Chinabillys that I may have me a side business of sellin' fancy outhouses. Put some red angel hair on the 1X12 seat boards, shucks, them outhouses outta sell like Aunt Jemima pancakes in south Jawja on a Sunday mornin'!!

 

And I got an ol' boy puttin' "Git er done" in Chinese writin' on a bunch of T-shirts. Man I hope he knows what he's doin'...he said he understood Chinese writin', but ol' Bubba wuz a lil' liquored up...I hope his writin' don't say "Yaw suck" or "Give us back our jobs" or somethin' else stupid like a yankee would say.

 

I can jest see 4 or 5 of us rednecks and our wimmin livin' in a single city...a couple of old muscle cars with fins sittin' on blocks in front of our pads...fake empty PBR cans blowin' around...shouts of YEEEEHAAAAAAW YIP YIP YIP when one of gets lucky.....I can just hear you walkin' in to yer english class and sayin' "Howdy Yaw, my name's Chawls and I'm here to teach yaw sum proper english"

 

Chinatucky may never be the same again bubba, especially after Jeff Fox Hung Low and his buddy Larry the Hocker Guy move into town. Ol' Larry the Hocker Guy can show them Chinabillys what sum SERIOUS oyster hockin' is ALL ABOUT....shucks, them lil' clams I seen the Chinese hockin' on the sidewalk ain't squat compared to FULL BLOWN QUIVERIN' OYSTERS that could pull the shoes off a Clydesdale horse....yesssirrreee, you know wud I'ma tawkin' 'bout!!!!!

 

Cuzin' tsap seui

Have oyster

will travel

 

 

I'll be darn.... Cuszin Tsap, & Charles I heard every word y'all said....

Yes I did... didn't even have to get my "Texas Good Book"

of the shelf to look up them big WORDS you was talkin bout.

 

But, I'm figuring that them Chinese folks may not take a like-in

to us..... unless we can play the Banjo.... and what ever you do

don't show them that funny movie bout them strange fellows ridin

down a river...."deliverance".. I think??

I ain't into making pig sounds....

if-in you know what I'm trying to say?

 

Now do you think? that those Chinese folks would understand

"YEEEEHAAAAAAW YIP YIP YIP ???" or Yahoooooooooo or even

howdy "hello"? buenos d¨ªas,"good morning"? buonas noches,"good night"?

hola "hello",? su bonito "your cute/pretty",? una cerveza por favor "one beer please?"

oh so many questions and so little answers

 

O BTW tsap you better find more than two trees , coz I ain't layin/sharin

that homemade redneck swing with you or any other

male..... Rednecks just don't do those type of thingies...

unless of course they come from one of them funny states.

and I can tell you with out a doubt Texas ain't one of the funny

states...... ok, ok so we got us a few of these type folks down here

in Texas, but

not as many as others do!

Edited April 5, 2008 by sleepless in Houston&CQ (see edit history)

[chilton747]

 

Cuzin' Chawls, I done contacted a shippin' company today and got pricin' for a container to ship over a 59' DeSoto with BIG fins. I figger that ol' DeSoto is gonna make one purdy yard ornament sittin' on blocks outside them highrise condos they call houses. I also figger my velvet Elvis collection will be safe inside the DeSoto's trunk for the trip over.

 

I got myself busy today with my Milwalkee scroll saw and I cut some half moon's in some outhouse doors I plan to take over with me. I think as well as teachin' proper redneck english to the Chinabillys that I may have me a side business of sellin' fancy outhouses. Put some red angel hair on the 1X12 seat boards, shucks, them outhouses outta sell like Aunt Jemima pancakes in south Jawja on a Sunday mornin'!!

 

And I got an ol' boy puttin' "Git er done" in Chinese writin' on a bunch of T-shirts. Man I hope he knows what he's doin'...he said he understood Chinese writin', but ol' Bubba wuz a lil' liquored up...I hope his writin' don't say "Yaw suck" or "Give us back our jobs" or somethin' else stupid like a yankee would say.

 

I can jest see 4 or 5 of us rednecks and our wimmin livin' in a single city...a couple of old muscle cars with fins sittin' on blocks in front of our pads...fake empty PBR cans blowin' around...shouts of YEEEEHAAAAAAW YIP YIP YIP when one of gets lucky.....I can just hear you walkin' in to yer english class and sayin' "Howdy Yaw, my name's Chawls and I'm here to teach yaw sum proper english"

 

Chinatucky may never be the same again bubba, especially after Jeff Fox Hung Low and his buddy Larry the Hocker Guy move into town. Ol' Larry the Hocker Guy can show them Chinabillys what sum SERIOUS oyster hockin' is ALL ABOUT....shucks, them lil' clams I seen the Chinese hockin' on the sidewalk ain't squat compared to FULL BLOWN QUIVERIN' OYSTERS that could pull the shoes off a Clydesdale horse....yesssirrreee, you know wud I'ma tawkin' 'bout!!!!!

 

Cuzin' tsap seui

Have oyster

will travel

 

 

I'll be darn.... Cuszin Tsap, & Charles I heard every word y'all said....

Yes I did... didn't even have to get my "Texas Good Book"

of the shelf to look up them big WORDS you was talkin bout.

 

But, I'm figuring that them Chinese folks may not take a like-in

to us..... unless we can play the Banjo.... and what ever you do

don't show them that funny movie bout them strange fellows ridin

down a river...."deliverance".. I think??

I ain't into making pig sounds....

if-in you know what I'm trying to say?

 

Now do you think? that those Chinese folks would understand

"YEEEEHAAAAAAW YIP YIP YIP ???" or Yahoooooooooo or even

howdy "hello"? buenos d¨ªas,"good morning"? buonas noches,"good night"?

hola "hello",? su bonito "your cute/pretty",? una cerveza por favor "one beer please?"

oh so many questions and so little answers

 

O BTW tsap you better find more than two trees , coz I ain't layin/sharin

that homemade redneck swing with you or any other

male..... Rednecks just don't do those type of thingies...

unless of course they come from one of them funny states.

and I can tell you with out a doubt Texas ain't one of the funny

states...... ok, ok so we got us a few of these type folks down here

in Texas, but

not as many as others do!

Hey Cuz Texan Bobby, I got the banjo and guitar covered. I'll even teach em how to play the jug!

[sleepless in Houston&CQ]

Hey Cuz Texan Bobby, I got the banjo and guitar covered. I'll even teach em how to play the jug!

 

 

O hell we got-em covered

now to find those special trees and teach um some spanish and redneck english

 

 

Heck this could trun into a dryed up gold mine

[chilton747]

Hey Cuz Texan Bobby, I got the banjo and guitar covered. I'll even teach em how to play the jug!

 

 

O hell we got-em covered

now to find those special trees and teach um some spanish and redneck english

 

 

Heck this could trun into a dryed up gold mine

Habla Espanol? No comprendo!!! "Proper" English (as cuzin Tsap puts it) is the way to go!

[sleepless in Houston&CQ]

 

Habla Espanol? No comprendo!!! "Proper" English (as cuzin Tsap puts it) is the way to go!

 

 

 

But..... "Redneck cuzsin tsap"

well thats a different story for a different day

[pkfops]

Do you know if it is possible for a USC to become a member of the CPC?

 

Perhaps it may be of some advantage if you are of retirement age.

 

Discounts, insurance etc.

[pkfops]

Do you know if it is possible for a USC to become a member of the CPC?

 

Perhaps it may be of some advantage if you are of retirement age.

 

Discounts, insurance etc.

 

Wife just informed me if you are over 65 you don't have to pay to ride the bus.

[GZBILL]

Do you know if it is possible for a USC to become a member of the CPC?

 

Perhaps it may be of some advantage if you are of retirement age.

 

Discounts, insurance etc.

 

Generally not possible. Officially, one must be a Chinese national. There have been exceptions, but very, very few and far between.

[tsap seui]

Do you know if it is possible for a USC to become a member of the CPC?

 

Perhaps it may be of some advantage if you are of retirement age.

 

Discounts, insurance etc.

 

Generally not possible. Officially, one must be a Chinese national. There have been exceptions, but very, very few and far between.

 

 

Aww shucks, I wuz lookin' forward to joinin' the CPC, what with my military background an all Plus I thought joinin' the CPC would be like joinin' AARP

 

Wait a minute, wait a gal-dern minute here. This IS Chinatucky we're tawkin' about here...if'n we wants to join the CPC, I figger we just cook us up a lil' homebrew hootch, then find us the right official....take that official and his buddies out to eat, do a bunch of gan be's (as we keep their glasses full of white lightnin'), go sing some karioke, slip a few Chairman Mao's under the table and YEEEEHAWWWW YIP YIP YIP...we're CPC members, bubba....free bus rides...the whole 9 yards.

 

Heck, I could take the pitch pull tube, with the bullet hole through it, from the first chopper I got shot down in, to CPC meetin's (sorta like a VFW) and we could try and guess...wuz this an AK-47 or a Chicom SKS round that went T&T (through and through)?

 

Watch for the next issue of Red necks in Red China, a tale of Redman tobacco juice covered streets.

 

Zhang Billy Bob is my name,

spittin' is my game.

 

tsap seui

[rogerluli]

I'm waiting on a "Rednecks go to China" thread!!!

 

Cuzin' Chawls, I done contacted a shippin' company today and got pricin' for a container to ship over a 59' DeSoto with BIG fins. Cuzin' tsap seui

Have oyster

will travel

 

Well inside cuzin' tsap's hilarity here is a good point... How the heck do you get your stuff over there anyway??? The last time I looked into this I found that there are lots of empty containers going back to China from our shores and if you can fill 1/8th of one or more with your junk its a good deal. What do you do once it gets there??? I have no idea...

 

The Brits who are always moving to Hong Kong recommended the "removal" company (that would be a moving company to us) of Allied Pickfords but I understand that going that kind of route is pricey as they have to pack everything themselves ...

[Guest Rob & Jin]

Another question for you all- Driving test in china ? anyone done it ?

Edited April 5, 2008 by Rob & Jin (see edit history)

[Bill and Linda]

I'm waiting on a "Rednecks go to China" thread!!!

 

Cuzin' Chawls, I done contacted a shippin' company today and got pricin' for a container to ship over a 59' DeSoto with BIG fins. Cuzin' tsap seui

Have oyster

will travel

 

Well inside cuzin' tsap's hilarity here is a good point... How the heck do you get your stuff over there anyway??? The last time I looked into this I found that there are lots of empty containers going back to China from our shores and if you can fill 1/8th of one or more with your junk its a good deal. What do you do once it gets there??? I have no idea...

 

The Brits who are always moving to Hong Kong recommended the "removal" company (that would be a moving company to us) of Allied Pickfords but I understand that going that kind of route is pricey as they have to pack everything themselves ...

 

 

I made the decision to only take what I could fit in checked and carry-on luggage. Granted, the checked bags were a tad overweight (a bargain at $60 extra weight fee) and I figured out how to sneak three carry-ons through....... but when it comes down to it, I knew that most of the "stuff" I had could be gotten rid of, and not missed. After all, this is intended to be a major life change, right? No looking back and no regrets..... Sure didn't want to pay the freight for furniture and other things that I knew I could buy here fairly cheap.

[Bill and Linda]

Another question for you all- Driving test in china ? anyone done it ?

 

 

 

Ok, now we're gettin' somewhere...... what are the regs with regard to a laowei "driving" in China? Is it province-based of PRC-wide? I've been told by some that the only thing I can get around on here, on a personal basis, is either a pedal-powered or electric-powered bicycle. Not even sure about the electric bike, some have "tags" and some don't. I used to race Formula Vee, so I think I have a headstart on competing for space on the streets. I even surprised myself yesterday at my ability to adapt. There was a large group of folks waiting for return buses at a popular tourist spot here..... after watching the crowd decend on a bus like vultures on carrion (one guy even bypassed the door completely, managed to climb into the bus through a window), I decided when in Rome...... Took laopo's hand and started saying "scuse me", went to the front of the group and when the next bus came, went around the policeman trying desperately to restore order, and was second couple on the bus

[Smitty]

I'm waiting on a "Rednecks go to China" thread!!!

 

Cuzin' Chawls, I done contacted a shippin' company today and got pricin' for a container to ship over a 59' DeSoto with BIG fins. Cuzin' tsap seui

Have oyster

will travel

 

Well inside cuzin' tsap's hilarity here is a good point... How the heck do you get your stuff over there anyway??? The last time I looked into this I found that there are lots of empty containers going back to China from our shores and if you can fill 1/8th of one or more with your junk its a good deal. What do you do once it gets there??? I have no idea...

 

The Brits who are always moving to Hong Kong recommended the "removal" company (that would be a moving company to us) of Allied Pickfords but I understand that going that kind of route is pricey as they have to pack everything themselves ...

Let me know the container ID info, and I'll try to be extra careful with it when I handle it!