SheLikesME?

Looks pretty positive my wife will go to UTA in Beijing before she moves here. She wants to use the K3/4 for her and her daughter to come and visit me, then return. She then hopes to wait on the CR1 for the permanant visa with all the trimmings. I thought I read somewhere that once the K3 Visa is awarded that the CR1 process is automatically cancelled. If that is so then she will need to apply for change of status and work permit, etc. She says there are ladies who come to the USA on K3 and then return to China for the CR1. Any comments? I am having a hard time finding info on this, again.

Good thread. In fact I have had terrible depression of late. I have learned to not share all of the negative things with my wife. She had it hard too, but is so enthused about learning before she comes here she has thrown herself into education. She always asks me not to get her thinking too much in terms of our intimate times together. I never saw such a smart lady with a good job go nuts like she did the first time we met. Boy it was rough being back. But leaving her at the airport the 2nd time was horrible. She just hung her head and cried and her nose ran. I had my son get in line with my luggage and security let me back out to stand with her awhile. She asked how I knew she would still be there, and I said I just knew. She felt like her life was leaving her. Lately this depression is working on the love I have for her. I can tell I have shut a lot of it out. I don't like that. I also find it hard to work on the house and my job to prepare for her. So I am glad to read this thread. Maybe I will come out of the numbness. Thanks ALL.

Maybe because we are so many men sitting here on the dumb internet waiting on our women to get here. Of course some seem to have turned to chetoos and sheep and such.

Thank you very much for the info. I suppose this is the family income not just hers? As I recall even if we file income tax seperate, if she were here, they still base it on family income. Guess I beter look instead of guess. She has never had a USA degree, but is going for the advanced. I guess that part is OK. Have a feeling if we don't find a scholorship then we are out of luck.

I primarly convert all I think I will need+, especially if I go deep into China where even credit cards will not rent you a room and the phones won't hardly call out of the city. Also you may play host to a bog dinner or something, so I load up on RMB. Walk down the street and you feel like a Elvis or someone popular in some of those cities. Seems some places they seldom if ever see a big anglo. However I have found banks anywhere can convert the cash. I used to keep 1K US on me, I am not sure why. I really never needed it. Although once in a small town I had a friend return a favor because I allowed them to exchange/have some US cash wich suposedly was illegal back then, years ago. Now married I am casual, as I have a China connection if something goes weird.

Thanks lele, I hate to ask but is there some general rule of thumb for income? Or some sliding bar depending on the dependents you claim vs income?

Thanks all I will check it out. I guess part of our problem and some of the reason we got the answers we have is due to her being in China and taking the UTA classes in China. If these various programs work we have just enough time to switch gears and save some bucks. Again thanks. http://studentaid.ed.gov/students/publicat...ible_noncitizen Eligible Noncitizen You must be one of the following to receive federal student aid: U.S. citizen U.S. national (includes natives of American Samoa or Swain’s Island) U.S. permanent resident who has an I-151, I-551, or I-551C (Alien Registration Receipt Card) If you’re not in one of these categories, you must be an eligible noncitizen, and you must have an Arrival-Departure Record (I-94) from U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services (USCIS) showing one of the following designations: “Refugee” “Asylum Granted” “Cuban-Haitian Entrant, Status Pending” “Conditional Entrant” (valid only if issued before April 1, 1980) "Parollee" (You must be paroled into the United States for at least one year, and you must be able to provide evidence from the USCIS that you are in the United States for other than a temporary purpose and intend to become a citizen or permanent resident.) If you have only a Notice of Approval to Apply for Permanent Residence (I-171 or I-464), you aren’t eligible for federal student aid. If you’re in the United States on certain visas, including an F1 or F2 student visa, or a J1 or J2 exchange visitor visa, you’re not eligible for federal student aid. Also, persons with G series visas (pertaining to international organizations) are not eligible. For more information about other types of visas that are not acceptable, check with your school’s financial aid office. Citizens and eligible noncitizens may receive loans from the FFEL Program at participating foreign schools. Citizens of the Federated States of Micronesia, the Republic of the Marshall Islands, and the Republic of Palau are eligible only for Federal Pell Grants, Federal Supplemental Educational Opportunity Grants, or Federal Work-Study. These applicants should check with their schools’ financial aid offices for more information.

I think he meant:: What does "HK" mean, and is it the only city for a phone number?????????

My wife buys CDs from street vendors that are alwasy at the same place, incase it is bad they will exchange. She also has software that she uses on any written phrase or word that will pronounce it in American or British English. There is translation software I am sure she can buy, as well. She simply studies every night on her computer. Don't know about your SO but mine has a lot of time at work where she can study English on her PC there. A lot of jobs in CHina are not as productive as in America so maybe your SO can practice there. Perhaps her company will give her time off to study English and maybe even pay for the lessons. She could ask. May take awhile for aproval but so what. I started taking Chinese at a local college but my wife wants me to improve my grammer, as she has learned her English in a more text book perfect way. Sometimes that is a problem for us, so now she found software for me to brush up on my english before I study Manderin.

Agree. In fact I never got a direct answer until in the Taxie on the way for marriage registration (which is marriege over there, legally). And my wife speaks pretty good English. Since her sisiter told her that maybe I don't understand the customs and she should explain, she then did. She told me sometimes a girl wants something but will not speak. So I went and got certified single at the US Embassy where we really got beat up by Stone Face, who said she would not do it, then did, uhhh. Then in the Taxie, the next day, I explained to her that in America a man asks and the girl answers yes or no. So here we are obviously heading off to get married. We both KNOW. But she never said. So finally she grins and takes a big breath and says Yes Yes Yes. And it was one of those ugly little red taxies at that. Not even a good one. Moral of the story? Why ask, just do!!!

I assume she is in the USA now, correct? From what I have learned so far there is nothing until they are a US citezen, I think. I thought I was told not even a perm res qualifies for grants, etc. If anyone does know of somehting I would sure like to know it as well. Scholorships???? Just some advice from my experience. My former step daughter was a hairdresser (her Mom paid for the school). She never earned enough money to make it on her own. Her Mom was still helping her financially. We learned that really it is a job for a married woman who just wants something to do. It will take forever for her to make up that 11k in my opinion. Wait until she has worked for a year doing anything and get her in a Univ as a resident. 2 years of college is less than that in my state anyway. My wife is still in Beijing. She found any number of American Univ degree programs taught in major China cities by American teachers with an American Diploma given with no mention of China. We just made sure it was a legitimate school but found a local large state Univ teaching business and she will now take this course work while waiting for the visa. Of course she speaks pretty good english.

Before go I always stuff my two front pockets with lots of American CASH when on a business trip! I always take a few thousand so I have enough for the entire trip, incase cards don't work. I exchange most on arival and do the front pockets thing. I just don't like getting stuck, and cash talks. Wallet in one front pocket and strait cash inside the Visa in the other. This way they cannot pick my pocket so easy in a subway or anything, not that I expect that. I use the credit cards wherever possible because the exchange rate is better, as long as it is a cc that does not charge a fee. When I leave for home I just leave the excess cash with wife. I don't like travelers checks, cash talks. Probably your bigger than them anyway, so why the travelers checks? Last trip was 100% time with her so I did not take so much cash, as we just stayed at her place. My wife gets on my case about carrying so much money and creedit cards. I followed her advice once and then I had to get cash at an ATM, so I went back to my old ways and told her this is the way it is. I don't live my life worrying about a thief I guess.

I might add that insight into cultural differences so the marriages can have an easier time in adjustment is most helpful. I suppose it is the main reason I am here in CFL. I simply enjoy hearing the cute little things that our SOs do that make them so attractive but also a puzzle sometimes. My wife and I feel the visa will come. Understanding eath other is sometimes the challange, even with her good English. Of course she could have picked someone who is not so illogical, and has such poor grammer ......Anyway, WELCOME, from a non-moderator!

I was surprised to learn that my wife intends to take on my last name as hers when she gets here. Also I believe she said she will use her name she used in school when learning English. I don't remember what it is, but frankly I am disapointed. I will call her by her Chinese name always. I already have all my family using it. So if she changes the last name, fine, but even that I feel no offense because of her custom. But she says she will follow my custom when here. OK, but honey keep your given name.

I for one would rather raise children in China just to get away from our media here. But China will eventually get as screewed up and spoiled as we are. I hate to see some of the changes but know I must take the good with the bad. My wife marched for personal freedom in the late 60s and early 90s. But politics is just not of much interest to her now.

Yuanyang, Looks like I am headed back to school next semester for a grammer class. We read stuff together for her upcoming MBA. Her way of learning is to look for the key words in the sentence and learn from that one sentence literally. I try to get her to look at the surrounding material, but since I forgot how to diagram a sentence I am well.......Lets just say her text book grammer is perfect. I did get her to say a beautiful Texas drawl on a word yesterday. Oh she will be so understood if that one seed grows into many. It sounded rather romantic coming from her too. PS: She got real mad at me taking a Manderin class. I need an English class!! dstarsboy, Glad you young guys are having fun starting this new relationship. I wish you all the luck.

Yep thats my SO policy as well. Only variation is half the bathroom you wear the slippers (arond toilet) and over by the shower and sink be barefoot. NEVER wear the slippers in that part of the bathroom or bedroom. After a couple of weeks I got pretty good at it. I went and bought the largest pair of slippers I could find. Made it much easier to do all the changinf one has to do. Just try it on a train ride in 1st class bunkers. Oh boy. I wear my shoes into the house here in USA, anywhere. She said she will do it my way when here, but I take off my shoes at the closet. I usually wear socks around anyway.

What if your birthday is April 4? . Of course acording to one of you 7 is bad. My B-day is 7-7, I figuered that is good.

Hey Jim sorry to hear this. But I weeded out a lot of ladies in China before I met my wife. Whether deserved or not, I am glad to see you paid it back. Now the monkey is on their back. It is just my way, and even my SO (wife) gets mad if she thinks about how generous I was to my ex. when I don't have my present house paid for. Anything I can do just holler?

Even in Japan it must be an unlucky number. SATO blamed his bad performance in Formula One racing on the fact he was #4 this past season, as I recall, and that was bad luck. Seems he really believed it.

Like you nothing. Never heard of a dowry in CHina until CFL. I just mentioned presents for Christmas or the Fall Festival to her parents and brothers and sisters. Nothing. There is one thing I might want to get in America for the little one for Christmas because the quality is better. It is so cheap I never would have considered it a present.

HAHA Ok Thanks, Yea I really had them out on my sleeves since this nose surgery. Really aired my laundry did n't I. Oh well, Glad I am off most of the pills now. This all reminds me: A few years back a cousin named Bobbie Joe married a woman he met named Bobbie Joe. Well I heard that the 2 Bobbies got in an argument and he burned her wedding dress. I about bust a gut on that one. Heck I knew they would never get a divorce if he did that. They love each other. It's obvoius. ......Well she did throw the dress out the back window so my cousin being the accomodating fellow he is picked it up an dput it in the burn barrel for her..

Some good words there Scott. Though I have a wife who speaks fairly-fluent English, you hit the nail on the head in my situation, along with Jim's words to me. Don't mean to poke my nose back in to this thread but I wrote some things about myslef and wife I would like to update. I did have a long long talk with my wife yesterday and she just laughed like a child about my being mad (I lied the day before that I was not) and jealous. Then she told me it was old male friends now immigrated to Canada she went to college with in China that she was chatting with as we talked the other day. One is married and they are very short and she is tall. I met the tall ones at our wedding party in Benxi. Her and all these guys are sport nuts and athletes/coaches. All nice guys and I like them. She knew them all when dating her first husband. As she told me about the train conductor ( I mentined in another thread I think) she just does not give it a thought that anything would happen between her and a man and she does not distinguish friends by gender. I knew it would be something like this and so I VENTED here in CFL. Sorry all, yet thanks too. Venting to her everytime I think like I have, based on my pst experiences in America, just is not the way I feel I should treat this wonderful lady. Now the above was tied with my thoughts about her wanting to be so disciplined about money and our future and her usually saying NO to my wanting to come visit, because of the cost. She went back and addressed my feelings/concerns over keeping the crazy love alive that brought us together. She asked and we discussed seriously about the next trip. Sure she wants to see me, but it is hard on her after I leave. Now she is used to talking with me daily and chating or emailing daily as well. Yes for us it is usually voice talk 2 times a day. So a visit is so very good, but then she goes through a withdrawal that is hard for both of us to manage. All in all. I feel she likes me getting mad if I think something like this because to her it shows that I care. It would not surprise me if something like this is discussed with her sisters now as a way to show them how much I care for her. Gee where do women like this come from. It is like I can do no wrong, except when I write something she cannot understand. Well all is well and I feel like a heel in front of you ladies and gentlemen. But we really had a good time sortiing out all the things on minds lately. The communication was so good and the understanding of each other taken to yet another level. Like you say Scott we have to look at the overall, which I was doing yet, I had to get a lot of little issues out on the table and deal with them. Maybe moose here needs to do the same, as many of said, communication. PS: I was glad to hear of these friends plus a close lady friend of hers in Cananda now. I readliy said that hey we or you can go visit them. She said we would. I liked her other friends, all good people and we liked each other. Also it takes some of the pressure off of me once she is here. She needs friends somewhere on this side of the planet, I feel. Sorry to highjack this thread, just wanted to finish out.

Another woman in China I used to write is now married to an American, and she said you don't need a brith cert for the wife, just the child. Hmm. Also I think above it said you don't need a pic of the child. Well we got a brith cert for both, and we sent in the passport photos of all 3 of us. Also I got new birth certs for myself out of Dallas but the embossing is shallow and the whole thing looks cheap and flaky. So I color copied my passport to send in, incase they don't like my birth cert. There may be some debate here in CFL about too much proof, or evidence being submitted, but I don't know. I just followed my instincts.

Great help from so many & so quickly - Thanks to all of you . I think I will file I-130's for both SO & step daughter and also file the single I-129F. I would love to get the CR1 & CR2 and avoid the AOS - EAD hassle but I will settle for whatever gets them here the soonest. When I am there in January 2006 to get married I would like to get the SO & daughter birth certificates, SO's divorce decree and our marriage certificate certified or notorized and certified english translations, but I am unfamiliar with this process - could somebody please give details - do I need each copy notorized/certified and have the english translation certified or can I just make copies? 170358[/snapback] My wife took care of getting all her documents translated and 3-4 sets of each with the embossed seal etc. Yes each one had something there that it was translated by a certified translator. They are all several pages long. Maybe they are notorized as well. My wife is big on notorizing everything to make for sure. They all came in sort of a bound folder. I think just ask your SO. It did not seem hard for my wife to do this at all. It was all her motivation. I have an extra set of originals here in the USA incase I need to use them for something. Later one of her daughters school teachers translated the divorce decree of hers. But our Chinese marriage registration and the two birth certs were done at the same place. Now I have heard that there is not necissarily birth records in China? The document she had made up looks like it is based on the divorce record or some other way, I'm not sure. But I will try to remember to ask her. I sent in the I-29F promptly once I saw the delay in CA office. Goes to Chicago so I figured a little of a short cut, and hoped fo the best. I guess K-1/2 is the fastest and was our original plan, but we both feel better about being married. Talk about a marriage penalty, this one really takes the cake, hahaha.