m-coon

Thanks for the valuable input! I guess I have no choice but to live out the rest of my life with no changes to this situation. How sad, because we did at one time have a wonderful marriage/relationship, it has been many many years in the making. I would give anything to find the answer, but she is just not going to tell me. I can live without any physical "touch", "passion", or whatever you might call it.... but it does take a great deal out of life, especially given the fact that it WAS a big part of our relationship. I thought it was important to her, as she used to instigate sex herself. It is as if a light switch had just been turned off. No middle of the road, no halfway...... Not ANY, period....... just all of a sudden completely turned off. It just makes no sense, and although it is her right to not tell me, I find this very cruel. Everyone here knows how very difficult these types of marriages can be, and we both have really worked hard on it........ so I feel now that she has just given up and is willing to throw it all away (by not even bothering to explain her reasons). Oh well....... thanks for your input/advice! m-coon

Hi and thanks for the input. I am very much in love with her..... I love her far more than I have ever loved anyone. And I am trying not to sound (or be) insensitive. All she will tell me is that vaginal sex is just too painful, and I do not doubt that. I have tried extra lubricant to help, but she says it is still too painful. Again, I do not doubt this. I trust her and believe her. However, I have told her that I could be pacified with "holding", "kissing and hugging", and obviously "oral sex"..... but I have in no way said I was demanding the oral sex in particular. In other words just the holding, touching, hugging, kissing, etc would suffice.... yet she will not tell me why she still refuses even that. We have both gained weight, so I doubt it is the physical appearance turning her off. So do any of you have any further advice or info that may help me here? Again, she will not tell me WHY she is not willing to have any affection at all towards me. The marriage doesn't have any other problems, we are both happy (as far as I know). Thanks, m-coon

Hi Guys, My Chinese wife has not only lost intertest in sex, she is basically refusing to have any sex of any kind. She is 63 while I am 67. Sex was pretty good earlier in our marriage, but after menopause she hasn't just lost interest in it, she basically refuses all advances. It may be cruel to say but I think that there was never any real love, it was only the love of a green card. There is a large amount of inheritance monies as well involved - I'm worth a M plus. Now that she has that, she is using menopause as an excuse to avoid it completely. We all know there can be vagina pain after menopause, but she is refusing any form of sex! Any advice guys? m-coon

Hello, Been away many many years... Came back because I now have family here in the US that need to get a Florida drivers license. Does anybody know where a translated copy of the Florida drivers handbook can be obtained? Thanks, Scott

Hello All, It has been a while since I have come around. I guess with things going so well - I have not had much of a need to come here for help. But I am now in a position where I desperately need some help. Let me explain... My step-son has been scheduled for his interview in GUZ. And this is where I need some help please. Although I started out saying how things were going well for me - that is not exactly true. I had heart surgery a little over a year ago. But more importantly - I don't know if it is just growing old or perhaps early signs of alzheimer's - But I am having serious problems with sorting out all of the visa processes (mostly paperwork) and be help my step-son prepare for the interview and gather the documents he will need. My wife does not read English - so there is little she can do to help here. I am seriously considering hiring an attorney to help me complete (finish) this process - which bothers me a great deal as I hate to waste money - especially since I have done everything up to this point. However, I was thinking that perhaps there was someone here on Candle that may be able to help me finish this thing. I would certainly be happy to pay for someone just to help me with getting lists of the necessary documents, etc so he will have all that he needs at the interview. To give an example - I cannot even remember IF or WHAT I have already supplied with his application. I don't even remember sending it in so I certainly don't remember what I did actually send in - I assume the same as every other applicant. So since I can't remember what I have given them already - it is impossible for me to know what he needs to take with him to the interview. Are there any good lists IN ENGLISH that simply tell one what is normally already been submitted and then what needs to be brought to the interview? I said in English - but for my wife's sake - it would be nice to have such a list in Chinese as well. I would appreciate any help any of you can provide. Thanks, m-coon (Scott)

Hello All, It has been a very long time since I last logged into Candle......... I hope all are well. I am working on my step-sons immigration documents and have what I hope will be a simple question for someone reading this. On the new I-864A form, In part 5 of this document, it is asked to give the ELIS number of the beneficiary (my step-son)......... I have no idea what this number is or if we even have had one issued to us. It appears to be a number issued IF we have filed any electronic documents - and I do not remember if we filed anything electronically or not. The form indicates that you may skip this if you do not have such a number - but I do not want to skip it if indeed we do have the number. CAN ANYONE TELL ME IF THIS IS A NUMBER I SHOULD HAVE AND IF THERE IS ANYWAY TO CONFIRM IF WE WERE ISSUED THIS NUMBER OR NOT? If we skip it and we do indeed have one - I don't want to cause there being anymore reasons to delay this already ridiculously long process! I would certainly appreciate the help from anybody who may know something about this matter. The only numbers I seem to have are the GUZ number, an INVOICE NUMBER, and a BENEFICIARY NUMBER. I really do hate to come here only when I have questions - but unfortunately Candle appears to be the only place to get such help - short of hiring an expensive lawyer. Hoping you understand. Sincerely, Scott

Hello, I am quite curious about the "Invoice ID Number" on the latest letter from NVC. I hope someone here can shed some light on this. There are three numbers on this letter: NVC Case Number, Beneficiary Number, and the Invoice ID Number. The Invoice ID Number appears to be a BIRTHDATE - but if it is a birthdate - it is the wrong birthdate!!! Can anyone confirm if this Invoice ID Number is supposed to be the birthdate of the beneficiary, or is this just a coincidence??? Thanks So Much, Scott

Ohh, and I forgot I also need to change the beneficiaries home address as well.

Hello, It has been a long time since I have posted anything here on Candle. I have come here to try and get some "correct" information about updating addresses on both a I-130 petition...... as well as for my wife who is a green card holder living here in the states. The more I read on the USCIS - the more I get confused. Here is what I need...... Our address here in the states has changed and needs to be reported (AR-11 I assume) - But the address of the beneficiary of my wife's petition for her son (I-130) to come here, has changed as well. I have read where only the petitioner needs to change that address - but this does not seem right to me. And I have read where this can be done online - which also doesn't seem right to me either. And other proceedures that just don't seem right to me. Anyway - I am really confused and need some straight answers. Can someone please answer here or direct me to a place where I can get BOTH of these answers in plain english? Thanks for your help, Scott

Hi, I am asking this question for a friend who has met his first Chinese woman and may be serious about marrying her and trying to bring her to the States. He is a convicted felon. He served his time and is now on parole. Does anybody have any information on if this situation will cause him problems down the road in the visa process for her? And will it even affect his chance of obtaining a travel visa to go to China? Any input would be greatly appreciated. m-coon

My wife told me a story last night that I feel is worthy of sharing to you all. It seems that her brother needed to go to Guangzhou for some business, and choose to drive (instead of using other modes of transportation available to him) - which you will question WHY DID HE DO THIS, after you have read the entire story. Somewhere between his home town (Liuzhou) and Guangzhou - in a very remote area (nothing but forest, etc.) he noticed one car coming in closer to his rear bumper, as another car was also dropping back closer (slowing down) to his front bumper, to box him in between the cars. These two cars forced him to the side of the road. And at gun-point demanded both his wallet and as his passengers hand bag. They feared for their lives and did what the bad men demanded. They were not hurt. After the bad men had their personal belongings - they sped away. Her brother immediately called 911, but it didn't do much good because the bad men got away from everybody by exiting to a small roadway (they assume - because they were never seen again). Now this is the crazy part - at least I think this is the crazy part...... This was now the SECOND TIME that this had happened to her brother while driving this stretch of highway leading to Guangzhou ! ! ! ! ! My wife says this is a common occurrence on this stretch of highway leading to Guangzhou. If this is a common occurrence - why is it that the police have not caught these people yet or had enough presence in this area to ward off future potential crimes? Why are they able to pull these thefts off so easily and always get away with it? Getting back to the CRAZY PART...... Her brother told my wife that because this had happened to him once before and that he obviously knows this is a true/real threat - that he removed most of his money and important documents from his wallet before beginning the drive - just in case he got robbed again (which of course he did). He had hidden this money and other stuff somewhere else in the car. If I really suspected that this could happen to me - I would have taken other transportation to Guangzhou and then rented a car once I got there......... What would you have done? Thanks, Scott

Thanks everybody for the help..... however..... I am now withdrawing my request for help in this matter. Someone has come forward and offered to hand deliver the phone to my wifes son for me. I guess there are some nice people still around... Thanks Again, Scott

Thanks Pbatt..... I appreciate you thinking of helping me. Maybe somebody else will feel the same way. David - you should read more about Apple products being brought into China - THEY (customs) ARE EXTREMELY STRICT - And the fee charged is as much as 1000 RMB (I think I read somewhere they charge 20% of what THEY determine the value to be). Amaro... what is this post hurting? Why do you feel it is not of any value to me or any other member? Thanks, Scott

As stated by JiansuExpat - I indeed have already purchased the iPhone. I appreciate everybody’s concerns about other issues such as whether this was the wisest thing to do, but what is done is done. I bought this from a very reliable source (a good friend wanting the 4s instead of the regular 4 model) and it is indeed completely unlocked (by Apple) so its use in China is not an issue. I will not mail it there no matter what. If I have to wait until Fall and deliver it myself I will - I had really hoped that somebody here has a kind heart and is willing to do this simple task for me while they are in China. Either this thought is frightening or nobody from CFL is planning a trip to China anytime soon??? Thanks All - maybe somebody will step up to bat and do this huge favor for me. Scott

I am very trusting. I would have no problem with a stranger transporting it for me. BUT... for example - with technology the way it is nowadays, especially with the apple products - if the phone was not delivered to my wife’s son as agreed - I could electronically have the phone LOCKED and have the serial number reported as stolen - and the phone would be useless. It could not be used with any cell company after that. But I don't think anybody here would do something as crazy as agree to deliver it... and not do so. I would not consider mailing it because of several reasons - I have had at least one package sent to China never arrive - I would not pay China $125 in customs duties, especially after paying the large postal (or DHL) fees - Plus there is always the chance it will be stolen by the carrier or customs employees. Chinese people are OBSESSED with Apple products and would surely help themselves to it if they had the chance to get it. I have had things stolen from my luggage while entering China - this I have proof of - not just a feeling - it is a fact. Scott