Ann oni moose

I know they aren't all alike, smartalleck . Heck my SO speaks three languages besides English just to get by. Her family speaks Hakka at home, She lives in GZ, so Cantonese is the preferred languange there and then Mandarin from school and anything 'official.' I think I can easily answer the two questions though. Yes, if I could get a job in China, I would, just to be with her. I think she would stay with me if I stayed in China. I think it would depend on where in China. She would not want to be out in western China, I know. It is pretty sparse out there. I think I am going to hold my own on my budget and I guess that will be a litmus test.

I did not send her any money until we were married, and have not sent that much: I spent a few thousand US when I was over there, but that included getting there, all the marriage paperwork, red envelopes to all the relatives, food, hotels, trains, buses, taxis, subways, translator who travelled with us, etc. I paid for everything when I was over there. She paid for nothing, but that is sort of how I expected it to be. If I had run short of money, she would have covered it without question. We talked about me helping her by giving her some money. I agreed, only because she does not speak English well, so she has every email I send translated so there are no misunderstandings. Then she has the translator go over her reply for the same reason. This adds up to about $100 a month that she really didn't have until she met me and started writing me regularly. We also talk on the phone anywhere from 2-10 times each month. This uses a lot of her cellular minutes, plus she tells me it is expensive to receive international calls. She has no land line I can call. Even if that weren't true, I'm sure it adds 10-15 US to her costs. So giving her $150 a month is an understandable amount. On the advice of people on here and other sites, I set up a bank account there in China and I put money into it from my bank by transfer. It isn't cheap, but it is much cheaper than Western Union or the like. I put in 550 last month because I still had to pay for the ring, plus a little extra. This was my first deposit into that account. I told her because of this extra expense I didn't have enough to put in 150 for the next couple of months. She was okay with it until she started in on the gossip with her friends: "[Her friend's SO] send 400usd to his wife every month, I feel you just know to talk but no action. Haha. yes, honey, you are right, I think about money too much. haha. I am a little unhappy about every husband give their wife more than you and you don’t willing to give even 200usd for per month. I hope my husband is a man who is responsible. " I was pretty upset when I got this in my email. She tries to make light of her concerns with the 'haha,' it isn't her laughing at me or anything. I'm mad that there is this one-upsmanship going on, and a SO's quality is based on the amount given. I told her that. I believe that how you feel about a person and how you treat them (in the non-economic sense) is much more important than how much cash you throw at them. I'm also mad about the guilt trip that is being laid on me. I want to email her friends and tell them how shallow they all are! I want to think that this will cure itself when she comes over to the US, but they are coming over also. So they will continue to compare each other's husbands, and to what end? B) Sorry for the login, its just that enough people know my other nick and subsequently me and my SO that it is not wise to question things without more anonymity. I've heard of the emails from 3rd parties wrecking applications, and I just can't take that chance. My plan is to keep with my budget and hold off sending any money until I can better afford it in January. A side effect of this is, for better or worse, seeing her reaction to this lack of money. Again, I am not sure if this is a red flag, a cultural difference, or a personality trait I am having trouble with here. I find myself wondering what I have gotten myself into here, and hating myself for doubting my SO/marriage, doubting my judgement, and for even thinking this way (especially after the marriage as opposed to before). It is taking all my will to keep from calling my SO and venting. That surely wouldn't help anything, so here I am, venting as AoM. AoM

Maybe the process takes so long because it is designed to weed out the sham marriages and engagements through attrition... The real, strong marriages will survive, while the shams and sketchy ones will fail long before any paperwork is approved. I don't necessarily agree with that concept, but I guess it has its own logic to it. AoM

My SO and I correspond almost every day by email and a few times a week by phone. Every couple of months, my SO gets together with friends and they gossip. One of the topics that comes up is mney, and how much each SO receives from their American SO. In the discussions, it seems that the more they get the better the husband. I apparently fall in the lower end of this bracket, because I committed to give my SO $150 each month, because they have a job. Other SO's do not work, and get $250, but I was told many of the SO's get $400, so they are good spouses. Then I was asked to give more. I agreed, but I mentioned how unhappy I was (I am pretty pissed, to be honest, but I tempered my reply) that they gossip about money and how much each gets. I told my SO it was unfair to everyone to have a SO's quality judged by money. I said that that love and devotion were much more important than money. To me that couldn't be more true. I personally hate talking about money. I mean I know that money is a huge factor for an SO to up and leave their homeland to come to the US. They want to know they will have comfort when they come. I'm nervous about this trend, and wondering if I should be even more concerned than I already am. Feedback from US and Chinese SO's on this topic would be WONDERFUL. Thanks! AoM

I hope you are right... I'm shaking from the news. I am fairly new to all this, read way too many posts about delays, overcomes, and rejections, and so now I think I need some Tums

I *just* found out about an error on my 130 and 129F. It is minor, but I have no idea what to do about it... My SO uses a translator to email me. The translator screwed up her mother's date of birth. I was given 06/04/35 and it is 07/04/35. The I-130 was received by the VSC already. No NOA1 yet, but the 129F paperwork is done. It also says 06/04/35. I'd change it but there are three compelling reasons why I don't really think it is best: 1) The 130 has the date I was given by the translator, and I don't know if it is wise to have different information on each form... 2) Being that she was born in 1935, maybe the official date and the practiced date are different, because of lunar vs. julian calendars, or how records were kept back then... 3) changing the now completed I-129F information means that I would need to send a complete set of G325a's back to China for SO's signature which will be time consuming, if not spendy. I don't know what to do. Sorry for the lame nickname, but I know the consulate watches this site and I dont want my case tossed because of posting on here. Thank you for any help!