SheLikesME?

Roger I rented a car in 2002 with an international drivers license that excluded CHina, and drove it just fine. Of course the owner was with me but her was willing to just let me take it. Had a local Chinese girl who arranged all this and came with me and she said oh, you are American. You can do anything. Police will nt bother you. etc. So I broke the law real good I guess.

Thanks Haps, God speed to you two.

So will the principle that fired them write a letter?

hmmm... I am aware of mean/jealous sisters. Maybe you could ask your SO how she was treated by her sister when they were growing up. The people I am aware of were mean to their siblings. The stuff I heard was pretty bad. Also is the sister coming here or staying in China? I know Chinese here and they will tell you how mean and jealous they can get. I would really hate to hear that of a family though. 200578[/snapback] I will do that. My wife got on this education kick about her daughter learning english, then she wanted her to learn Chinese. Then somehow her sister was involved and they feared about her daughter and wanted her to BE CHINESE. Then there was the discussion about whether to even bring the girl to America or not. That is ongoing, but lately it sounds like she will bring her after she finishes her degree and comes over permanantly. BUT, I have asked her and I also wonder how much influence does her sister have on her and will she make a problem when that time comes for her to go to America? So far this sister is mean a bit to the daughter and of course very disciplined and making her study hard in school. She limits my wifes phone calls to the daughter because of the studying and the disciplined rutine. I did not like any of this at all at first. I told her my opinon about it all, but figured this is Chinese business and sister business and I better not push it too hard, but my wife knows exactly my stand on it. My wife complains about the sister even after her visit this last weekend up to Benxi for a visit. But I stay out of it, and plan to do little until the time aproaches for them to come over. I cannot see my wife comming to America without her little daughter. But I am not Chinese either. Wonder if she will throw a cog in the wheel. Still learning about the sister.

Some people at my wifes job don't even know she got a divorce 3+ yrs ago much less remarried. She gave her one year notice and reduction in salary and step down from managemnt, and they have no idea why. I only have some concern abou ther sister who has little emotion and no kids and now has her daughter to teach her and make her more CHINESE. Your thread made me wonder if I will have a problem with this sister. We will see.

Before I read all these responses I would get a letter of recomandation from this new Principle explaining the situation, have it translated and certified/notorized, and just have it ready. If nothing else maybe this will make you/her feel better and prepared. You dont have to send to GUZ until needed. Get any other letters of recomendation you can ezpecially if they can shed light on the persecution she received. Just my .02. Be preparred.

I wish you the best in this. I am one who tends to go to the top first, like mchitiea, but I did not in this case, for no reason. You seem gentle and that is good. These are your public servants and I feel if you have a good attitude toward them you will be treated in kind. Maybe I am a niave optimst though, since so many have experience here in CFL I dont have. In fact go to the real top and write the President, then Senators, and then Congressman, if you want. Why not? I think the more letters then the overall help it gives to this overall cause we all have. Just write letters polite, optimistic and humbly request what you want. Good idea to visit in person as well I think. Also you can both FedEx and Fax the letter so they can see you want to make sure it arrives, if you cant go in person.

My wife has a ton of books, so she loaded my bag and got out a suitcase for my last return and filled it with books. The idea is she will ship all the heavy stuff as I or she goes back and forth on the plane. I managed to keep both bags within the wieght. I even stuffed some in my carry on. I will see what she says about the container on a ship she was referring to when she talked about shipping everything in her house. But when I saw her furniture I told her no just leave it. She said the containers were cheap. She had info from friends who came to USA and Canada.

I wonder the same thing Ron, but as time goes by I worry less and less about this. I have told my wife how homesick for China I used to get on a return. Instead of seeing a sea of people she will see a sea of cars. That in and of itself is so impersonal and makes me feel depressed. Also I have told her numerous times about the food. I just dont know what I will do . I have found an Asian grocery store. I also got on the web and see that in San Antonio there is a miniature terakata soldier display. I can't spell and I dont worry about it either unless writing her. Oh, the shower thing IS so you are clean at night. I just could not negotiate that. When in China it is always at night. I agree about the weekend adventures and then the driving lessons and any other thing you can think of to show her and do that is new. My wife wnats to see everything here. In CA you have so much to show off. There is a real good chinese resturant in OC that is huge and the food was great as I recall. Cant remember the name or city though.

Even thoug already married, my wife says that when she gets her visa she will come to visit for 3 weeks, if possible, and bring her daughter and then return to finish her degree, before she comes for good. She says she will consider this a HONEYMOON. Now guys I don't think bringing a child along IS a honeymoon. But she gives it no thought, like so many other things different than our culture. She thinks it will be so much fun. Thomas I have no idea how your SO feels. I think I would ease into this when you talk with her. I think she will share her true feelings about how good of a friend it is to her and if she can be trusted. I know my wife tells me what she thinks of people after I meet them. If all is on the up and up, then I would just accept it, and not let the lady get in the way of your happiness. Have fun your SOs way this time. Maybe it is a wedding guest for her. These gals love to visit each other and hold hands and such. Otherwise the cautions that Dennis gives are valid. I am sure your SO will have an opinion about all of those questions. PS: You certainly have something to work out, and you should share your feelings about it. Wish you the best.

If you have a good ruler it can be the best situation. However, as time goes by you get a corrupt ruler eventually, then it is the worsed time. Our representative govt may not be the best, but it is perhaps the best compromise to keep checks and balances. Our reps could plan ahead but someone will squauwk. If you have a non-rep govt like China perhaps no one will complain to loudly because of.................... That is another bad part of unelected (by the populace) rulers. Probably all of us know how the people feel about their government, yet they never want China to lose face. ahhh

Had dinner with a very nice man last week, he said he bought a condo in Beijing, nice, but nothing fancy: $200,000US. The good news is that the property taxes are 0.3%. 198848[/snapback] Yes Bob. Wow that is even higher than what my wife said. She thought it would cost 110,000US to get a larger nicer place in Beijing. So she never wanted me to find work in China. Even if I made the same amount. Hey I just got good news. http://candleforlove.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=16568 198875[/snapback] I'm finding out that it is easy to find work in China, but nothing that even approaches the US salary. If I had a job that paid the same US$ there as here... 198914[/snapback] Well there was a long shot possibility for me to do this. But wife didn't seem to like it. Maybe if I actually had the offer it would be different. Who knows some day, maybe.

Had dinner with a very nice man last week, he said he bought a condo in Beijing, nice, but nothing fancy: $200,000US. The good news is that the property taxes are 0.3%. 198848[/snapback] Yes Bob. Wow that is even higher than what my wife said. She thought it would cost 110,000US to get a larger nicer place in Beijing. So she never wanted me to find work in China. Even if I made the same amount. Hey I just got good news. http://candleforlove.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=16568

Yeah my wife wants to retire to China. I keep telling her by the time it happens it wont be cheaper like it is now. Sometimes she agrees sometimes not. We more or less figured due to the cost of housing that Beijing could cost about what Dallas does. She wants to retire to the shore, preferrably Dalian where born. Well see.

Thanks Jim & Randy. Yea considering all things and where these guys are comming from I am impressed with their progress. Sure wish they would wise up about the name "communist" and remove it from any titles or anything to do with the government. I never see communism over there. Just a band-of-guys in power and they don't want to give it up, yet. What I like most is the new 5 year economic plan shifting now from cities to rural areas. IN fact I can say that this is taking place for sure. My wifes parents area is going to be rebuilt and her uncle got a contract to manage the building of a new highway. She is worried he will lose his shirt and her father joined him now to help in the effort. Neither have knowlege of buildinga road. Looks like the rural kids will get at least 9 years mandatory free education. My wife's mother wants me to wait to meet her after her house is rebuilt. Trying to figure out just when the govt will do this is their big delima. They have money to do it on their own. But the govt will tear it down if it does not fit into the plan. So hopefully they will wait and see, before they spend their savings. I am pretty sure China bought the plans for the LAVI from Israel which gets them up to an F-16 level jet. I also swear I saw a ship in Dalian that had a flat-top ramp for Harrier type jets to take off from unless that was a British ship parked there. If Chinese though, it would indicate they have a vertical landing jet I was unaware of. I have heard rumors about a B-2 bomber type plane in developed. The other bombers are WW-II era technolgy it looked like to me. Norton bomb site in a bubble glass nose. I don't mind the aluminum planes but the B-2 type is a little scary. But who is to blame them? All out war with China as some of my friends think? No, but I wonder if we will have a local conflict over Taiwan some day? That would have to be limited or we just let it go, or the alternative is pretty bad. I cannot imagine our two countries in a war.

Merc & Frank, Anything I can do please call on me. I feel urgent about getting the property for his wife. Any visit and visa can be done later. It IS most encouraging that his wife was mentioned in the obit. But if there is anything we can do on CFL for her, it is to help make sure she gets her rightful due on his property. Hopefully that would afford a plane ticket or what ever else she wants to do. Wothout a will I am not sure what the survivors can do with checking accounts and property. Real estate will take time. Checking accounts may have had his relatives names on them. Who paid for the funeral? My father and I simply wrote a letter to a probate judge on a relative that had died and was getting took by her pastor. The guy did not even call his fellow pastor whom he met before she died that was related to her and us. Anyway our letter and appearance in court the day of the probate got this case a new executor involved. The pastor was the executor originally and boy what all he did. The problem with a will is finding it. Usually people do not file it as a matter of public record. In this case it sounds like there is no will. If the lawyer will not act quick enough maybe a judge can at least put some kind of hold on his accounts until this is cleared up. I have no diea, I just feel for her situation, and relatives can be mean or not caring to softening up later. They may be suspecious of her, the wifes motives. Maybe they can be taought to understand I don't know. Merc do you know how the mother or sister feel about Lily at this point?

hunter I decided to talk a bit more about this in a new thread. Here is the link if interested. And thanks for inspiring me to tall my story about religion and China, and even a little about Bush. http://candleforlove.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=16514

Now this is where you really get into trouble, because you are only a man and obviously don't know what's right for you. It has nothing to do with what you think is right or wrong, she's Chinese and that settles the whole discussion. http://us.i1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/mesg/emoticons6/24.gif 198059[/snapback] http://us.i1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/mesg/emoticons6/24.gif HAHAHAHA, yes this is SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooo true. As a man you do not know what is good for you. She, the woman, the wife, the SO, knows how to take care of you. She knows what is good for your health, your diet, your budget (which she controls - one way or the other - I think ), and what car, house, suite, socks, bath time, bed time, kids education, her education...........whew! Listen and learn. But for privledges, number of kids, that seems to be up to you, I think. Seems like. Have I got the rules yet?

Yea isn't it great. Hmm someone deleated their message, I thought it was good. Yep time to quit whinning. Can't help the depression sometimes, but must fight it. Digging the sewer pipe I busted the other day. Will fix, then get back to the relandscaping so the little one will have a smooth yard to play in. Everyday I look for something to bring in money, or making the place better for their arrival. 197280[/snapback] When I asked my wife to marry me, I seriously considered what I was asking her to get into. I am fortunate as hell that I have friends in my city who are chinese. So she will have them, and they are like her uncle and aunt. I also found a chinese/english christian church, and I really want to take her there on sundays. Are any of you particularly religious? or maybe OHMMMMMM. hehe. 197452[/snapback] Maybe I should post some of this in a new thread. Anyway China has loosened its strangle on religion. At least with my church. There is now a Chinese congregation that no foreigner can go to in the afternoon in Beijing, or the chinese citizen can attend with her fiancee or spouse at the English speaking congregation in the morning. In 2002 no chinese citizen could attend at all. Bush may have helped in this area. My church has an all Chineses congregation North of Dallas in Plano, TX and in other cities. My wife said she will go to my Church in Beijing in 2 weeks. Back in Christmas/New Years she got aquainted with the girl who translates English to Chinese via headphones, and just happened to be going through this process where she is the American engaged to a Chinese man. Now they are married I heard from my wife the other day. She waited until he studied and believed and joined before she married him. I was not that smart as I thought it was still illegal for her to attend with me in Beijing. Have no idea what she will think of religion in the long run.

This is the tough part. My approach is this: * First try persuasion as best you can. * If persuasion does not work, just let things go the wrong way as you look, because (1) things might not be wrong in her way (we are actually wrong!); (2) it might worth the price to prove her wrong than starting an argument. Someone has to pay the tuition. Remember it is love that bound us together. If the 'fundamentals' in a relationship are solid and unquestionable, then just let love to overcome the small differences. 197397[/snapback] Stone, I almost hate to ask but is this concerning tuition or going to school, as you just wrote or were you using it as a figure of speach? Generally I would agree with what Jim said. If it is a China problem, like her daughter or things she is doing in China while she is there, then I have found that her wisdom is the best to follow. And in some of those casses I would never have done it her way. The other biggie was her misunderstanding of things I told her about myself or tried to tell her before we met and she would not listen, or did not understand half of the information. Sometimes though, I don't listen to her exact question.

Yea isn't it great. Hmm someone deleated their message, I thought it was good. Yep time to quit whinning. Can't help the depression sometimes, but must fight it. Digging the sewer pipe I busted the other day. Will fix, then get back to the relandscaping so the little one will have a smooth yard to play in. Everyday I look for something to bring in money, or making the place better for their arrival.

Pow POw POw good to see this.

I'm with ya on that. I go to planet Houston and take care of it all. But then looks like most are not able to get to a consolate in person. I hate standing in line behind those service people. Slows the whole thing up. B)

Treid to delete this thread. Found my answer, again. Pretty simple. I have no idea where I read what I posted above. Sorry all for the trouble.

Exactly, and she IS so dedicated. Work hard and save for that time and pay off the house, hahaha. Then when we are together work hard and play hard. It took me awhile to understand her not wanting me to travel to China so much so I could make our future better. Rather than get depressed she goes to work and stays very busy. I do too, but it has been a bit hard this past 2-3 weeks. When they marry they marry!!! She is such a perfect person but I sure had to get used to her not acting like what had been my experience in America all my life. Thanks all.