SheLikesME?

And you WON. Nuff said. This thread can close. Thank You.

Want to see how long this thread can stay in culture before it is sent to the TC. Best way is no posts, which is about what I would expect. Is it the way we walk? Talk? Do we have a can do attitude that teams well with the Chinese attitude of there always being a way to acomplish something, and the "do" ethic? Maybe we are uglier than the rest of you gents and that makes us monsters very attractive. Do we lie better, or more compationate? Do we take more risks? Are we more comfortable with adventure? Shoe size? Big Hands? What is it?

WoW, and CONGRADS YAAAAAAAAAAAAA HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO So far us Texicans are sure doing OK. But I feel for everyone who has delays and trouble. I know how emotional this time can be. We are going to have to have a party down here after this. Wow.

I don't know about the others but I would say a daily big thing is the energy level of our ladies. Men too probably. They start early and end late. I get so wore out I guess it keeps me tame at night. I have a feeling that there may be some real adjustments because of this. However if we go shoping we seem to tire about the same time. That was good to know. But she needs less sleep than I do. Also the push to achieve things. If you keep that in mind on a lot of the posts, then maybe that will help. When I go over on business I get wore out. Maybe get 5 hours of sleep. So the wife and 7 hours is much better.

I think the simplist way to descrie them is more like your MOm or life back in the 50's or I think much earlier than that in America. I wonder about the diferences in ladies higher educated and higher paying job vs those who don't. I see some patterns between my wife and isuz and one other I can't rememebr the name right now. At least the issues I deal with seem similar. Those whos wife is learning english have similar issues. I havn't got too deep into that but I see it. Temper. Hmm Well my wife can sit so much and not have an opinion about things like Dennis said. Also she does not like to get bored and wants to learn and do. Our only struggle has been the fact my house is not paid for. It is not an issue to break up over, but this issue has urgency with it. I posted already. Clean about certain things yes. I was wondering why she doesnt make me rake the skin off my unit, like I must do with my back? There that long green scratch pad she got me for my back hung on the shower head today and I wondered. I use it maybe once a week. When in China I see her scrub herself and how she can tell if it is clean or not by feel surprises me. She makes me make red marks on her back scrubing so hard. Yet her skin is beautiful later. When the house gets about the same messy that might bother me she gets all fowled up and wants it done now. I really don't think her house cleaning methods are all that great but it makes the place look nice and she just can't stand it otherwise. At night something in the kitchen or bathroom stinks to high heaven. Can't do anything about it, so she has no worry. Later gotta go

RLS, YES we are fine now. I was amzed at how sweet things were when I started this thread just to have it imediatly go to hell. So I felt sorta weird like defective even posting the bad, but went ahead anyway. Well she is sensitive about the fact that I don't have my house (log house) paid for. Then my ex literally gave me her house back that I bought her during the settlement. OK, but now there is a little complication in getting it in my name. I started some work on it then stopped because of this. Why lose more if I cannot keep it or make a profit on it. Cut my losses. Well she about had a cow that I was giving up. So once I found out all the info, which wasn't good news, then got a commitment from the ex, good news, well it all sorta worked out, but there is still risk, so she sees I must stop the work. Never did she say anything about splitting up, but it is sorta hard to take the tounge lashing and not get a little riled up, so I put it out there about us splitting up. Not the proper thing to do with a Chinese woman. They COMMIT. Not right for any woman I suppose. It really hurt her feelings. But then she was really mad too. Anyway, once calmed and more info, then everything is back to being good. Not quit as good as the original post, but pretty good. You know we have life's problems to deal with. She does not like to lose money and she doesn't care for lazyness much either. Of course in person we take a lot of time for each other, but over the phone it is never as good. Even my past life was not so good over the phone. But this is the best. So things are very good and really cool. In fact she is trying to get me to help her study at this moment, so bye for now.

Ahhhhhhhhhh, where is that Chinese mutual friend of ours? I could have used one of them. But probably it was best that we did it on our own. Well all is well in paradise again. I will say that as bad as it got the past 24 hours, it is still a love dance and courtship that can't be beat. I wouldn't trade this for anything I have known before.

Whew How can a girl so CUTE get so much slack from me? I tell Ya. She hangs on the phone and or calls me up and wants to know the information and wants me to make things work out. She wants to remain married and live here. I will go back to the original post now. All is well. Managed to help her understand the situation fully. Contracts and things are so much more simple in China. And now she understands the risks I am in and the reason I should do nothing to the 2nd house until it is legally in my name. We have an understanding now. Guys I love her. Gotta love em. Gotta love em. In fact it is cute how they get so high strung and talk so fast and urgent, making decisions, then more decisions as you feed them info. Then the light comes on and Oh you need to do no work there until it is in your name. .............Isn't this what we do with customers and bosses and engineers? Let them think it is their idea? B) I tell ya what though. I didn't lose sleep over this. But I did get a "kiss you good bye" as we hung up just now. How in the Heck......... Remember Pulp Fiction and Bruce Willis beating the steering wheel of the car when he went back to get the watch. Enjoy your pancakes honey.

Not sure I know how to get her to go along with cutting my losses on a deal. They just don't do that. Man I should have kept things to myself. Never mind I just got told I will begin to get paid for more responsibility at work. I just don't have time. That is no excuse either. Then there is this log house I could have had updated the way I wanted by now if I had started some time ago, though I did get those toilets. Well so much for being lazy. Now off to the slave camp. Harsh is the word for the last 20 hours 3 min.

Hmm, now a bad update. This noon we had a talk. It started nice. We agreed the previous talk was so good and both of us could see a happy life. Then somehow something was said and it all went South. Honestly I am not sure how it happened. She started talking about the hours I keep and how efficent I am during the day. So then she was upset with herself for critisizing me, yet upset with things I have been too slow to do or finish. Turned into a 3 hour conversation. Bottom line I see some things that need to be done to lesson her anxiety, as the time draws close to her coming here. I cannot do some things I wanted to do a year ago to improve the house. My job responsibility doubled. Probably I will post much less. On the other hand I asked if she just wanted to end it, always a mistake. Anyway I am trudging through and don't feel good. Ahh the training, as you guys say. No emails from me this time. Heck with this crap, I will just do what I need to do.

LPM: To add contrast, which you will always get in CFL, this statement did not bother me. I have heard enough black men say the same or similar things and why. With me, I had it with American women regardless of race and yet we are advised not to bash American women. But that is where I am at in life right now. I know it is pretty narrow minded on my part.

Well when your crazy like me and you act like the stepchild.............Hahahahaha Yeah DFW. More important I was raised in Dallas. We didn't wear boots and voted Republican before Republican was cool (Reagan yrs). So Yeah a lil diferent. No NO, no kissing. But I do remember what happend in your naked bathtub party. What was that guys name that cleared the pool out when that object came floating to the top? I heard you guys roasted him on a spit just for laughs back. PS: Don't invite Cerebus to your pool parties, he might bring a knife!

Dude, settle down a bit and 1) just trust us we are not being mean to you. These folks are sincere and have YOUR best interest at heart. All of us have problems and folks here in CFL flock to each others aid and comfort. 2) Please comment on anything you can consider and use or that you think is good. Be positive on something for us, OK? I notice in the locked thread that you did not want to even consider anything anyone said to you unless you could construe it in a negative way. Also you are very defensive. Just stop it for a minute. 3) Just have some humility and try us out for awhile, with your prejudices aside, and you will see. I guaruntee that if you had never posted your pic the posts would have been the same. I feel very bad for you feeling like life is such that getting a hooker is the best it can be for you. I have been down that road myself, and I'm a white guy. If your race has dealt you some bad blows in life and your parents, then admit it here. Heck lets discuss it. Most things in life come down to personal choice. You can let what ever life deals you run your life or you can over come it in a way where you will fit in to society in a very acceptable manner. My heart and I think a few others here want to reach out to you, but you just want to argue and I think expect everyone to agree with everything you post. But unless you are willing to recognize our good intentions and heartfelt advice, then there is nothing we can do. On CFL you will always have folks post comments that are for you and against you (hostile you call it). We all get the same treatment. You are no diferent than the rest of us. Some like me and some don't. So 4) if you will ignore the comments that you feel are hostile and pay attention to the others for awhile then you will get to know us. It was rough for me when I started in CFL because of what I felt were some out of place hostile type remarks. Now I like those guys very much. Will you just try it this way?

I want to give an update. Wife and I had a good discussion of finances and the 2nd house. There was no tention. I was able to share the details and she got it. We are going in the same direction. We are closer because of it. Several things have happened. She has had to resolve things about my judgement in the past about women I associated with or married. She has been reading American news, daily. She has been studying harder than anyone in her class for this EMBA. She actually reads the books and makes sure she understands each line. Financial planning is the subject of the month. Whew what a help. I think she sees that I am not as bad as she got scared about. Anyway this all gets back to the way I felt those first few months talking with her before we met and after married. I felt for the first time in my life I was walking shoulder to shoulder with a woman. Then it got bad as she got serious (like previous post), and finally understood things on finances I tried to explain from the beginning - which shocked her badly. But with patience and both of us still feeling this special fondness/feeling for each other, and the dedication and commitment we made - and sealed it with marriage even, we have got through the cultural and personal differences (of our past - is a good way to put it). She understand so much more about our culture and business practices and LOANS (which was her topic se was reading when I called her at work). WoW yes I knew from those first months this was a gal I could be equal with. She seemed to have faith in her initial judgement of me too, though for some months now she could not rationalize some of my present situation and how I got there, with my house not paid off yet. Anyway guys and gals I see a future for us in America now. I have not been able to visualize this until this evening. Husbands, Love your wife.

This is what my wife expressed freely, after I returned to the states the first time. She feels so obligated to do what you posted there. She was trined this way and lived this way and yet it is a complaint about her ex. Yet she wants to pick up on some of my ways, particularly the feeling part and big heart, as she says. So I have some things to work on in this area with her.

What a wonderful feeling. I have this beautiful wife who just sticks right with me. I have a hard time with this because ............. I am not used to it? Never mind the story. I have found that on financial matters, that are a bit dificult for me to explain to her, my wife wants to help me succede, not tear me down. She points out mistakes. Now this pointing it out (like I didn't know) and then the 'modified critisizing' I got her to do (much better than her native critisizing a few months back) is really all to help me solve the problem, if there is one. Her goal is to protect me and help me to regain any lost money or make more money on say a house deal or something. Also to help me be careful legally. Tonight I strained to blow my top and did for a minute, raising my voice loudly. She did not flinch. She changed her talking a little but drove home her points and asked her questions to advise me. I strained continually until the last 15 minutes and decided, Doug give her some space. Trust her. She is your wife let her in and listen to what she is trying to acomplish in the conversation. So I trained myself. Wonderful feeling to let her in and just listen. But of course the manner in which she talks is an elevated fast talking way that almost reminds me of angry ex's who were unreasonable and fought to express anger and threats with unreasonable solutions, or give up. So to bite my tongue and let this woman sorta yell at me to try to help me is a real twist in my mind. Her goals are so completly different than my former American spouses. No threats what so ever. A year ago I asked several times if she wanted to call it off, break up. -- Now that pissed her off. -- She was so puzzled at my question. All she has tried to do the past year is help me succede, not threaten me or show me how upset she can be. Where do these women come from? Why was I so blessed to go over to that country and find a better way when trouble hit me, that probably the man upstairs knew would come. Our women are amazing. I have no idea about the American ladies here with Chinese men, but I suspect it is about the same. They commit to us, love us, and yet use logic when it demands, without letting feelings interfere or petty selfishnesses. At least the good relationships here in CFL seem to have a wonderful extrodinary touch of gold to them, that not so many relationships have, that I see around me. How many of us put up with years of trying to satisfy an unreasonable/spoiled person? I find this adjustment to a real team player in a marriage - so foreign to me. No threats or acusations. I am learning and she is trying to talk to me and not piss me off, but she IS persistent, BLESS HER SOUL. It is the most wonderful training in the world now. Painful for almost a year, but beginning to be sweet now that I get it. She is sticking with me and wants to help. Just saying that last line makes my heart want to wet my eyes. I cannot tell you how greatful I am to have a partner in a marriage. I am so used to an advesary. I feel bad for the pain I have put her through, where she tried to understand me and communicate with me. She questioned her english so much at first. It wasn't a language problem, it was my thick head. Man I am so blessed. Such a kind person did not deserve this last year of adjustment to a guy like me. Now I feel I can begin to do things with her up front when opportunities arise. I can train her more in our ways and she is going to be an extremely good counselor in the prudent things to do, to make it safe and protect us, our family, that she is so commited to. Now I need to make sure I don't screw up. Love to all you guys and best wishes for a happy marriage. Doug

YEEEEEEEE HAWWWWWww I will be through in Plano by Saturday at 5. So either before 3 or after 5:30 I am cool.

Bobby I am just blowin wind anyway here. Heck I havn't been in a fight since the 5th grade and that was with Emanuel Gunzales. I amy not have the spelling right, oh well. All I do all day is smile and be friendly. I better not carry on too much or no one will ever want to visit this wonderful place.

Hey, I'm just messing with ya. Be glad I deleated what I put in the poll about men taking baths together. Maybe I should go over there and re-install what I wrote. Heck the derogatory remarks would actually be a compliment to a true Texican anyway. I mean in Houston or for that matter anywhere in Texas, some guy naked in a pool with other naked men is going to crap in the pool just for the hell of it. empty the pool for sure and all laugh about it. Hahah. I recall living in CA and no one could comprehend a friend shooting the fnger across the street to another friend. It just didn't register that a friend would say fighting words or gestures to another friend in CA. We just intimidate for the fun of it it seems. Well anyway if I go to certain parts of Houston area I get talked to in a way that are fighting words in Dallas. I had to learn this from my cousin and relax. The old TV show Dallas should have been Houston. Heck you guys are the oil companies, Dallas was the banking behind it all. Remember when the oil companies and drillers went bankrupt then all the banks in TX started going belly up along with all those savings and loan comapanies. Dallas about broke the Federal bank then. Now all those banks are owned by someone in North Carolina or something. Yeah we win lose and don't care. YEEEEEEHAAAWWWW

I heard of this proof of residence from my wife on her K3 packet. So she got all my utility bills. My wife does have the address of her ex. Wife is reluctant to go ask her ex about her daughter going to USA. If he does not like the idea, then maybe he will cause trouble. Big risk if the VO does not ask, and she now has custody, under the divorce paper. I see her point, but I do worry about this. Thanks, Lee and Bob.

If a Troll: Hey ceberus has a lot of good points here, but let me throw out what I was thinking on one of your posts. Well OK then, not hurt by love, hmm, I for one notice the problem you have with your parents, so something is going on there, perhaps unresolved? If not a troll then you have the other problems you mention of yourself. Thats tough. Also blaming the parents, or were they really screwed up, or was it you, or was it both? Is your bi-polarness real or a side affect of what ever happened between you and your parents? Hey I have no idea, but you might want to consider this strongly. There are a lot of side affects to child hood trauma. So I'm just throwing it out there for consideration, based on my life. My life experience is any relationship I had before I had most of my issues resolved, just didn't work out. I understand the desire to find someone similar to yourself because your lonely I assume. Like the movie said, nobody ever lied about being lonely. Hey just don't try so hard and maybe you can work on yourself. In my opinion it could be some mighty low self esteem to want a hooker. I have been there and considered it. Again I don't judge most of them. But I do know they, like you, can pull themselves out of that life and change before they marry. The thing is, unless you change about the same time together, then one of you will be moving on and leaving the other behind. Just something to think about. Love: Well God commands men to love their wife. Hmm, now that is contrary to the accident of falling in love. So some of what you say makes sense to me. I like the logic of the chinese and practicality of things, but boy, never was there a more sensitive creature either. Lift your view of yourself. Don't give up on what you really want, whatever that is.

Moi??????? Bobby must be an ol redneck trying to pin the blame on us, the sophisticated financeers of Houston.

I think it best to follow Lee's advice here. Find a way to find them. So Lee this means for the CR1/2 we will need to track him down? My wife knows where he lives, or what city. What kind of proof does she need? I will get her to take care of this if I can, and I know what she needs for evidence of his whereabouts. Wonder about his child coming to USA? So far he says he is not interested in anything about her. Thanks Lee and all. Doug

We only used a notorized translation of the divorce decree that said she had custody of her child. We did not have a letter from him or anything. She got her K3. We will see how CR1/2 goes, but our idea is to not stir the pot unless Guz wants more for the child to come ot America. I didn't think your time is so short between marriages. I would not worry silly over it. Even if she knew where he was would he cooperate? Otherwise if his family or friends wil not help her find him I have no idea what to tell you. You do the very best you can. Send all kinds of supporting documents and pics and utility bills and deeds and everything you can for her to take to the interview ( search for kitchen sink) if this helps her to be calm and confident in the interview. Welcome to CFL.

Yes the Woodlands is the champaign district of Houston. I know you must be a decent good person to even be allowed in there. Well maybe they don't know. Anyway, I suppose we DO have a reputation, but maybe some of us have tarnished it more than others. TN well yes they certainly died for our cause. NOt sure if in vain or not seeing how we have such an open border. Back to TN I think the Garage party left all speechless. Most are too embarrassed or bare assed to talk about it. Some forgot, and some don't know what they did. Now I hear Dennis has pics. Must be a conspiracy or blackmail or sumpn goin on. Notice Trigg is now having to take his wife and family to Disneyworld, whew man that party gunna cost him already. The rest have SOs in CHina for holidays. Well we need a Bash. 2-3 OKC couples might join in as well. Think Paul wanted to wait till all our ladies are here. That might be best, but on the other hand, I ain't so sure mine will stick once she arrives and sees the mess I've made. Oh well.....maybe 6-Flags.