lpm100

to conclusively prove that you have been divorced? I talked to one guy that had been married and adjudicated applications FIVE times before. How could he do this and the embassy not know it? Or not figure it out until the FIFTH time?

Rehabilitating a hooker: This may not be the best idea because hookers have had very bad experiences with me. My mind (now and then) drifing down dark corridors and wonders what might have been...... Years ago I met a hooker that was also manic depressive. I wanted to share a relationship with her (she had the same manifestations of manic depression, such as insomnia) becuase I had an idea of what that was like. But one day, she just disappeared. (This is after she called me and told me "I think I love you.) She was an adopted girl who had the SAME type of relationship with her adoptive mother that I have with my real parents. Also, I sometimes think that hookers are women who set themselves up for failure. There was one girl that I liked a lot and went through the trouble of getting a job in a big city near her hometown just for her. It still was not enough. We talked at length about her options. She could get pumped every day by a bunch of foul smelling Chinese men who didn't come near toothbrushes or try to start a new life with me. I don't think there are any insecurity issues here. But I am someone who looks at things in a realistic way. Nevermind. This thread has run cold.

You all keep misunderstanding me. What I said was: For a black man who is "into" Asian women, there may not be enough chances in the United States. And this is because of the ratio of black men to Asian women (#1) and the negative perceptions of black men (#2). I just think that finding an Asian woman in China and taking her back to the United States might be As Good As It Gets. (Gone are the days when I was young and idealistic. My behavior is driven by pragmatism more than anything else.) What I was suggesting was that a lot of people became a lot more hostile with their posts once my color came out. Note that one of the posters a few posts back said something about "I'm not in the United States, so I don't have to be politically correct." When did the conversation even take the direction of political correctness? I don't see where the poster who suggested that I gave foreigners in China a bad name is coming from. I speak the local language and my intentions are no different to what any other red blooded man's would be.

Wow, some of you guys are a.s.s.h.o.l.e.s. that have too much spare time on your hands. If you don't have anything to contribute but a bunch of patronizing (get this from white people ALL THE TIME and know can spot it from a thousand paces) and generally useless statements, then I respectfully ask you to shut the f.u.c.k. up. Please and thank you. I notice that these posts only got so hostile when my race was revealed and I put a photo of myself on the board. The point of the photo was to show that I am not a bad looking person. As far as the manic-depresssion: Just be cool. It's not any different than having sugar diabetes or high blood pressure. It is just something that has to be dealt with. For years and years I've had insomnia. The immigration officials don't care *why* you marry a person and likely don't have enough time to send people to sift through every single post on a single board among thousands. Get a grip. It's abstractly possible, but not likely.

It is not that I think that I am Richard Gere. Here is the deal: I am a black man from the United States. Over the years, I've spent a lot of time building up my body and taking care of myself (running 6 miles per day on/ off) but if I want to get an Asian woman it is very difficult because I am laboring under all the bad impressions that my black brethren have created for me. There is also the fact that I am a manic depressive and tend to be of very unstable moods. It really is day to day, and I've been hospitalized several times for this. There is medication that helps me with it (such as being able to get a thorough night's sleep and function the next day because of having had said night's sleep), but it is not possible to medicate every single symptom out of existence. For some reason, my personality comes across as very abraisive-- no matter how much I have tried to fix it. What I've found over time (with different relationships) is that a lot of time can be wasted looking for something better, but, to quote Jack Nicholson: "What if this is as good as it gets?" I don't have a stomach for black women and have NEVER been interested in them. (I've never even kissed one.) White women are OK, but 95% of the ones that will consider black men are fat and hideous. (During the time that I was in graduate school I worked at a gas station at nights to make ends meet I saw SO MANY black and Mexican men with white women that looked like Jabba that Hut it couldn't believe it. I was wondering where all the fat white men went to get their freak on.) If this girl is willing to accept me, it is my intention to be true to her and do everything that I can to make her happy. But, once again, for someone like me: This may be as good as it gets and I am willing to accept that and work within those constraints.

"Woman normally connect sex with love and if they do not love the man, then they do not want to have sex on a regular basis (or any basis) because it is nauseating to do it with someone you despise" Chill out. Not every woman has been infected with the disease of white Feminazis in the States and Western Europe. There are still some women that are willing to work with a guy.

Well, people in India have been doing arranged marriages for a long time and they are still in business-- even though I'm not talking about an arranged marriage PER SE, but would like something where we wre both clear of the goals. Someone asked why I don't believe in love, and I'll say: No one hurt me in the past. Let's detail this a bit. If you want to study a reaction in a beaker, it is impossible to find a single molecule and then watch it all the way through the reaction. This is because no one can see a single molecule. By analogy, it would be too much trouble to follow a series of couples all the way through marriage over 30 or 40 (or even 10) years. So, I just look at couples in different stages to get an idea of what is going to happen. What I've figured out is: When people go into marriages and think that they are passionately in love they tend to cool off over time. (In fact, there is an article about this where some scientists found a chemical in the brain that cools off over the course of about 18 months in a marriage. It is called Nerve Growth Factor [NGF], and the chemical is lower over a year later in couples that are "in love.") It seems to me that if I convinced myself that I was in love with someone, I'd be setting myself up for failure. The other possibility is that I could be like my moronic parents and be attached to some person in a sick symbiosis like theirs. Looking at them over the years, I have made a resolution that I will be fine in a marriage if I do exactly what they DID NOT in theirs. (They are a perfect example of me of what NOT to do.) I've also resolved that if the marriage turns into something bad, then it would be better for both parties to just move on. (I don't plan on having any children and so this would be done at minimal cost.) I'm a scientist at heart and I can't escape logic. Sorry, it's just me.

"VO"???

I don't believe in love. To me, a marriage is something that can be viewed as an arrangement. Even if I am not in love with a woman, there is no reason that we can't be each other's companion. What comes from my end: 1. A ticket into the US 2. Financial support 3. Investment in improving the educational and English level of this girl until she can move out of simple jobs (like working in a restaurant or at Walmart). 4. Affection and efforts to make her happy-- not exactly smoldering love, but consistent/ comfortable. What I expect on her end: 1. Regular sex; 2. Companionship Is this too much to ask for? I know that Chinese people are very resilient. This should not be too tall an order. Also, I was thinking about taking a girl out of hooking that had only been there for one month. (It is very possible and easy to find girls that have been working for only two days.) I don't know if finding a girl who has been hooking is a bad idea or if it can be done if properly managed. At one point, I met a girl who was working as a hooker after having been in a relationship for 4 years with a Chinese man. She was interested in living with me as a companion, but for some reason I did not take it up. Does anyone have experiences with rehabilitating a "working girl"? (It happens all the time in Thailand and the Philippines.) The current plan is for me to live in China for the next year and live with the girl while I am filling out the immigration paperwork to get her back into the States.

Thanks for your answer. One more thing: I am trying to actually *find* a woman in China. There is one matchmaking agency that says that he can do it for me for $800. I would like to avoid spending this much money. Do you happen to know any women that are looking? I am not that fussy.

I just want to know, because I don't. The reason I'd come on here was to get some idea of the time frames within which I'd expect to be able to complete a spousal visa. Send me emails to my box at: <removed by moderator> It is generally not a good idea to discose your personal e-mail address on a public board - frank1538