qingqing0102 Posted March 22, 2005 Report Share Posted March 22, 2005 thanks everybody so much.be honest i really don't know what will happen when my baby come.if fact he seems not so happy the baby come.he said it's no choice when i asked him if he really want the baby come. sometime i really want to go back to china but i'm afraid of making my parents more sad for me.i'm the lovest daughter of them and my daddy has a so weak heart.i don't know what i can do when i thought of them.i don't want to divorce.i don't want my baby lose father. my husband isn't a bad guy.he is so sweet and nice to me if nothing wrong.but he become so terrible when i felt to be hurt.he felt guilt to his boys sometime after they left because he said that he didn't give them enough but he never felt guilt to me.i don't know if it's wrong we met each other and love each other. and i don't know if because of the different culture.i felt to be hurt but he felt it's ok.what can i say?maybe we really need to go to marriage counseling.thanks everybody again.god bless you. Link to comment
rogerluli Posted March 22, 2005 Report Share Posted March 22, 2005 Best of luck to you sweet lady... Link to comment
Trigg Posted March 22, 2005 Report Share Posted March 22, 2005 Depression oft times manifests in anger-My guess is that your husband needs preffesional help. Just my guess but it seems he feels guilty because he has made his children products of a broken home and guilty because he can't do a better job of providing for them. Likley thats why he spends time with them and there mother together---to give them a sense of family stability. Just my guess. Link to comment
Dan R Posted March 22, 2005 Report Share Posted March 22, 2005 Trigg I thought you still work part time. Giving away professional advise. Sounds like a mop smacking on the way Link to comment
Trigg Posted March 22, 2005 Report Share Posted March 22, 2005 Trigg I thought you still work part time. Giving away professional advise. Sounds like a mop smacking on the way Actually, I burned out on the psych game. Normal for child/Adolescent shrinks. I work part time for my son doing good old fashion manual labor-when my tired old body allows. I don't really need the $$$, as I collect retirement from the state of KY and am a 100% disabled VN vet (pays good), which is a good thing as my cheap son doesn't pay much-but it feels good to get back to my roots. I rarely put on my psych hat anymore. It just doesn't fit all that well now. Link to comment
rogerluli Posted March 22, 2005 Report Share Posted March 22, 2005 Trigg I thought you still work part time. Giving away professional advise. Sounds like a mop smacking on the way I rarely put on my psych hat anymore.Except here... Link to comment
hypoclear Posted March 23, 2005 Report Share Posted March 23, 2005 Trigg I thought you still work part time. Giving away professional advise. Sounds like a mop smacking on the way Actually, I burned out on the psych game. Normal for child/Adolescent shrinks. I work part time for my son doing good old fashion manual labor-when my tired old body allows. I don't really need the $$$, as I collect retirement from the state of KY and am a 100% disabled VN vet (pays good), which is a good thing as my cheap son doesn't pay much-but it feels good to get back to my roots. I rarely put on my psych hat anymore. It just doesn't fit all that well now.hmmmdid the hat shrink or the head in the hat?? Mark and Bea and Elizabeth Link to comment
hakkamm Posted March 23, 2005 Report Share Posted March 23, 2005 The problem is not yours ,It's his, my sister.every coulture and every country has the same marriage problem ,no differences. Do NOT blame yourself and culture.Keep smiling again Link to comment
oregonknl Posted March 23, 2005 Report Share Posted March 23, 2005 Yeah, I agree, The problem is not HERS its HIS!! I've know alot of hard times (financially) ---- but what kind of a man can't even scrape enough scratch to buy his wife a bed ~!?? B) .... and what does that say about his true feelings for her?? Anyone else here thinking chattle? Link to comment
Rick-Guohua Posted March 23, 2005 Report Share Posted March 23, 2005 I'm thinking he needs a GOOD A** KICKING! Rick Link to comment
hakkamm Posted March 23, 2005 Report Share Posted March 23, 2005 Falling in love, he planned a beautirul dream of his and her future life in America.He wants to be a good and nice husand.He wants to give her a better life if he can.------ He is Mr Right Married. He found his beautiful dream like bubbls is blown out one by one. He doesn't know he has to face all kinds of problmes that he can't deal with. He must feel upset and guilty,then out of control and acts extremly like anger ,yelling.....sounds like he has never grown up,heheheheh----He is Mr Wrong B) Link to comment
nygatl15 Posted March 23, 2005 Report Share Posted March 23, 2005 It is to early to say it is over for your marriage.... too many people give up to early. I know it is not easy for you. you all went through too much to not be enjoying each other now. I've found that if God is in both of your lifes, you have a better chance.... Christians are one of few group in America that have a low divorce rate. Many might not like me saying so, but check it out... We're not perfect, but Christians are less for "me me me", more for giving to others... but still, he must learn to deal with the up's and downs in life and grow up. it is a tremendous responsibility to bring a wife here from another country. I plan to meet my SO's parents in 2 months... I plan to let them know, no matter what,..... I will love and cherish thier daughter..... Good Luck. a prayer doesn't hurt either. Link to comment
Robert S. Posted March 23, 2005 Report Share Posted March 23, 2005 Also he has visitation rights to be with the children but it would seem that he would want to MAKE AN EFFORT NOT TO SEE the ex-wife. That is extremely questionable the way he insists on dragging you along to serve as a kind of insulation while at the same time he gets to see her. Wouldn't being made to sleep on the floor be considered a kind of abuse, both physically and emotionally? Link to comment
hakkamm Posted March 24, 2005 Report Share Posted March 24, 2005 It is to early to say it is over for your marriage.... too many people give up to early. I know it is not easy for you. you all went through too much to not be enjoying each other now. I've found that if God is in both of your lifes, you have a better chance.... Christians are one of few group in America that have a low divorce rate. Many might not like me saying so, but check it out... We're not perfect, but Christians are less for "me me me", more for giving to others... but still, he must learn to deal with the up's and downs in life and grow up. it is a tremendous responsibility to bring a wife here from another country. I plan to meet my SO's parents in 2 months... I plan to let them know, no matter what,..... I will love and cherish thier daughter..... Good Luck. a prayer doesn't hurt either.wowowowow, see----- you're Mr Right.hahahahaha like all the people in CFL said: do everthing good for my gal,blah,blah,blah,blah Link to comment
ptcrusier333rph Posted March 24, 2005 Report Share Posted March 24, 2005 keeping my mouth shut, no no no not going to make any comment about religious views..............learn my lesson on american women comment.......yep keeeeeping mouth shut. Robert need to breath soon Link to comment
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