qingqing0102

thanks so much for everybody's concern. my husband and his family are all christians.i'm studying about christian now and want to know more about it.i think i'm always do everything by my conscience.i won't hurt others and don't want to be hurt either. my husband told me that it's the last hard marriage made him changing and made him so easy to get angry.he said he could change but i don't know how long time i have to wait. i read all the reply and thanks everybody.you are so kind and friendly. i want to say that acturally my husband really is not a bad guy. he is so sweet and nice to me when everything is ok. i never told my parents and sitsters about my situation in usa.i trust my huaband will give me a comfortable life later. i trust he love me. i know he couldn't give me a good life just because the stress and the money.he has to pay a lot of money to ex and he doesn't want his boy live bad.i wish he could consider our new family more and more while my belly get biger and biger. i wish he really could change when our baby come.i always believe that good people would have a good ending.that's why i never dare to do some bad things and hurt other people.please pray for us. thank you again.

thanks everybody so much.be honest i really don't know what will happen when my baby come.if fact he seems not so happy the baby come.he said it's no choice when i asked him if he really want the baby come. sometime i really want to go back to china but i'm afraid of making my parents more sad for me.i'm the lovest daughter of them and my daddy has a so weak heart.i don't know what i can do when i thought of them.i don't want to divorce.i don't want my baby lose father. my husband isn't a bad guy.he is so sweet and nice to me if nothing wrong.but he become so terrible when i felt to be hurt.he felt guilt to his boys sometime after they left because he said that he didn't give them enough but he never felt guilt to me.i don't know if it's wrong we met each other and love each other. and i don't know if because of the different culture.i felt to be hurt but he felt it's ok.what can i say?maybe we really need to go to marriage counseling. thanks everybody again. god bless you.

i thought a guy who lost a marriage and family would be more treasure the new marriage and family when we were in love 3years ago.maybe i was wrong.so i didn't know i have to face a lot of trouble when i come here.i even never talk to him about sleepling because i trust him so much. i knew he doesn't have a good place to live but i thought he would give me a little comfortable life.i don't need a big house but just a bed.i didn't know i have to go to visit his ex everyweek before i came to USA.i didn't know it's so hard for me to face he and his ex family's happy. he seems so enjoy the visite every week and tried to stay there as long as possible.i told him about my feeling but he got upset and said it's good for boys.he doesn't want boys to see some cold and hate between them.i even accepted it so i tried to forget my feeling and we still go there very week.he is so sweet usually but he always got so upset and shouted to me when i pointed he did something hurt me.i couldn't believe it's my sweet husband.he always became so angry when i talked to him about his ex and boys.he looked like all the cell in his body wanted to protect them and forgot i'm his wife.i was so sad everytime when the same things happened.i wondered why i came here?for what?i had a good life in guangzhou but i give up and came here for him.i thought i found my true love.we talked many times about our problems but seem at last all the problems are my fault.my heart is broken but he didn't think it's because of him.i thought he should know that he have to lose something when he chose to leave his boys 5years ago.i think he should know it's impossible people can enjoy ex familly and new family at the same time. i think people would lose everything if he expect to have everything.i felt so sad when i thought my baby.how pity the baby.i don't know what is the baby's future if nothing change in my marriage.

thanks everybody for replying.thanks so much for your kind and help. my husband is a good guy.at least i know he would be a very good father.i think i trust him too much before i came to USA.i knew he has two sons and he loves them so much. but i never knew i have to go to visit them every week and face to his ex everytime and they still look like a happy family.and i never know it's such hard for me to be there. he explained that they do this because don't want boys to feel any hate.i understood it and i accepted it too even thought it's so hard for me.but i hate that he seems want to stay there as long as possible.i don't know if he really care about my feeling. i knew he doesn't have a good place to live but i trust he would give me a little comfortabel life so i even didn't talk to him about sleeping before i came here.i don't need a big house but just a bed.i never know i have to sleep on the floor before i arrived. i don't want to complain because i love him and it's my choice.but i really wish he could know what i did.i really wish he could appreciate what i did.i can accept he put his son first but just don't lie to me that i'm the first.maybe i would put my baby first too after my baby born.i'm not stupid that i couldn't feel who love me or not,who love me more or less.i really wish he could treasure the new family and marriage. thanks everybody.

hello.everybody: i'm so sad for all the problems in my marriage.i don't know how to do.i don't know if i want too much or totally it's wrong to marry a western guy.we have so different culture and background.i want to write my story here and wish somebody could help.do you think it's my faith? we met online 3 years ago while he had been separated over 2years with his ex-wife.he has two sons one is 11 and another is turn 9.he is a so nice father and he is so nice to me too when i was in china.we love each other more and more then we decided to live in USA and i got the visa last year.i got USA on Oct 2004 and we married in one week.we are always so happy together besides argued sometime but everytime the arguement made us so hurt.he has a good job but has to pay over half salary to ex-wife every month.we live in a so small room and just has two boys' beds in the room.we put the boys' beds together and slept there usually.we have to sleep on the floor when his boys come every other weekend.we go to his ex-wife house one time per week and stay there 2-3hours.i felt so hard sometime when i saw he and his ex-wife and sons talking and laughing.i felt so lonely at that time.i told him about my feeling but he didn't understand and got upset for me.i don't want his sons feel something changed because their daddy married again so i tried to forget my feeling and be nice to them.i was so happy when his old son said he love me someday.but i was so disappointed when he told me that we are lucky his son started to love me.he didn't see what i did for his sons. i'm pregnant last month.i told him that i couldn't still sleep on the floor after we saw the doctor and he agreed that he can let his sons sleep on the floor when they come next weekend.but he changed his mind when they got our tiny room.he even didn't tell me that he changed the plan.after that he said he did't tell me because it' not a big deal.he just let one son sleep on the floor and he and me slept in one small bed.i can't believe it.i felt i never could be his first important part in his life when i saw he was parparing the bed on the floor for his son.he tried to make the bed so soft but i just slept in a sleepingbag five months when they came here.i felt so sad that he even didn't want to tell them why i have to sleep in the bed.when we talked about these things after boys leaving,he was yelling to me again.he means i was wrong again because he planed to tell boys' mom first then let their mom telling them but he had no enough time to tell her.i didn't understand about it. i'm pregnant isn't her business. what he did made me feeling that i should be feel sorry or guilt to his boys for my pregnancy.he always shouted to me when we had some problems or agrued but he is so paitent to his sons.i felt he love his sons more than love me but he never agreed with me. i'm from guangzhou and had a good job there.i have a good apartment in guangzhou.i felt so sad sometime when he said i shouldn't come here and regreted for our marriage. i know he is a nice guy and he loves me and i love him so much but i don't know if i still can stand this kind of life forever. i could buy everything i like when i was in china but we can't buy here.i told him many times that i wanted to watch a movie but he forgot it.but if his sons want to see some movie.we can go there twice.i'm pregnant now.somebody told me that i will never have a good future if my husband treat his sons first.is it right?i'm the one who will get old with him.i'm the one who will take care of him when he is old.i never stop him to see his boys and i try to do my best made his sons happy with us.but seem it's completely no help and no useful.i don't understand what's wrong with us.i don't know if the different culture but i know everybody will say i'm a good step-mom in china.but seem in my husband's mind.i do everything is wrong.do you think i want too much?can you tell me what i can do better for our marriage? thanks so much for reading my story.