Match Maker Hell

[Dante3rd]

I'm not sure if this is the right place to post this, but I thought some of the guys on this site should know.

If your using a Match Making website to find a Chinese wife, then please read this post before filing your visa. No I did not get scammed or cheated. I'm currently living in Beijing and happily married to my Chinese wife for the past two years. So why am I complaining then?

My wife was a translator for a company called China Love and handled translating the letters from the American clients and Chinese women. On average the Chinese women on the site never write a single word to their prospective love in the US. All of its completely made up by the translators.

Now, I know there are many men who had real corespondents with their Chinese loved one, and used a match making service. They are the lucky ones, and believe me they are a minority. The Chinese women who post on most of these websites are paying a lot of money to find a foreign husband. Some of them can speak English a little bit. Many cannot speak at all. Even if they are able to write a letter in English most don't because they really don't want to be bothered with all the trouble it would take to read some guy's email. They think because they are paying a huge fee then the translators should do it, and not bother them with the details.

The match making websites usually keep the women up to date on how many guys are interested in them, and which one seem willing to come to China. Each translator get a bonus for every guy who comes to China, and another bonus if they file a visa. Its easier to get a bonus when the guy comes to China since that isn't very demanding. The visa is tough since the denial rate is high for K-1.

My wife really hated that job, and it was her first job out of college. She only stayed for about six months, and had already quite by the time we were together. Although, while we were taking to each other online, she often complained about her job. She did have to do some translating since some of the women wanted to read emails from the most promising bachelors. My wife had a hard time with many of the guy's disgusting letters. I never saw them myself, but my wife would often ask me things like, "what does, 'I want to put my roster in your box' mean?" Believe me that was the cleanest example I can remember.

I don't mean to pick on anyone, but I think many of you guys who use these websites should be warned. That doesn't mean everyone in China is trying to scam you, but you will need to use common sense. What was sad was the Match Making service charged something like $25 for every 10 email. That would be five sent and five received. There was no incentive for the company to allow the guys to directly contact the women. So if you have never talked other than on a website watch out.

I'm not sure if this waring will help anyone, but it seems the stress of getting a loved one to the US blinds them from the reality that they are not compatible and their relationship was built on lies and misinformation. I'm not saying that everyone should stop using them, but you should consider the reality that this may be happening to you. Don't be like many of the guy I've been reading on this site who have had their hearts broken (and wallets) because of these websites.

Actually in a number of government reports, mail order bride and overseas match making websites make up the majority of visa fraud cases. If you are wondering why the Guangzhou embassy treat US citizens and their loved one's like suspected criminals now you know who to thank.

[Amaro]

Thanks for posting this information. However, this is no new news for this board. I would say a lot of us that peek in here often already know what the deal is. However, for newcomers, you have been warned!

[dnoblett]

Oh yes familiar with CHN-Love. I got lucky twice there, my rule was to see if "admirer" was willing to go off the site and swap emails, if after 1 or two messages on the site they were not willing to do so, I would move on.

 

I met one nice girl in Guangzhou on CHN-Love, swapped email, and took a tour of China about 6 months later to meet, but I could tell it was not meant to be.

 

I did like the "admirer" emails, for the most part the service did an OK job matching.

 

About 6 months after the first trip to China, my Yu poped up as an admirer from CHN, I did not respond there, however a week or so later I spotted her on Cherry Blossoms which is not a Match Maker site, so I sent her a message on Blossoms and swapped emails, then did all communications via email after that, eventually webcam and Skype. I did confirm she was the real deal by searching around the web and came across the website of the school she was teaching at ans spotted her as being the instructor and vice principle of the school.

 

But yes buyer beware!

[3timescharm]

Oh yes familiar with CHN-Love. I got lucky twice there, my rule was to see if "admirer" was willing to go off the site and swap emails, if after 1 or two messages on the site they were not willing to do so, I would move on.

 

I met one nice girl in Guangzhou on CHN-Love, swapped email, and took a tour of China about 6 months later to meet, but I could tell it was not meant to be.

 

I did like the "admirer" emails, for the most part the service did an OK job matching.

 

About 6 months after the first trip to China, my Yu poped up as an admirer from CHN, I did not respond there, however a week or so later I spotted her on Cherry Blossoms which is not a Match Maker site, so I sent her a message on Blossoms and swapped emails, then did all communications via email after that, eventually webcam and Skype. I did confirm she was the real deal by searching around the web and came across the website of the school she was teaching at ans spotted her as being the instructor and vice principle of the school.

 

But yes buyer beware!

 

 

I met my wife on Cjerry Blossoms to, I think that is a very good site. After only 3 or 4 site emials she suggested we use yahoo so we could see each other. Good site

Robert

[knloregon]

Thanks for the post and the warning Dante, but by the time most find the Candle, they are way past the language/fake front scams, ....and into new pack of trouble ~ !

[Dennis143]

My wife, Leiqin, was working here is the US, Fairbanks Alaska. I didn't know it at the time, but I was corresponding to Leiqin's sister in Nanning who was posing as Leiqin. After a while and a few ponderous phone calls to Fairbanks, Leiqin flew to LA. I picked her up, brought her home and we married three weeks later. That was over five years ago. Sometimes you've just got to go with your gut, sometimes its just luck of the draw.

[dan_ling]

Oh yes familiar with CHN-Love. I got lucky twice there, my rule was to see if "admirer" was willing to go off the site and swap emails, if after 1 or two messages on the site they were not willing to do so, I would move on.

 

I met one nice girl in Guangzhou on CHN-Love, swapped email, and took a tour of China about 6 months later to meet, but I could tell it was not meant to be.

 

I did like the "admirer" emails, for the most part the service did an OK job matching.

 

About 6 months after the first trip to China, my Yu poped up as an admirer from CHN, I did not respond there, however a week or so later I spotted her on Cherry Blossoms which is not a Match Maker site, so I sent her a message on Blossoms and swapped emails, then did all communications via email after that, eventually webcam and Skype. I did confirm she was the real deal by searching around the web and came across the website of the school she was teaching at ans spotted her as being the instructor and vice principle of the school.

 

But yes buyer beware!

 

 

I met my wife on Cjerry Blossoms to, I think that is a very good site. After only 3 or 4 site emials she suggested we use yahoo so we could see each other. Good site

Robert

 

 

The Blossom is where I met my wife also, but my brother found a scammer there but he had a backup girl he was talking to in the same town and ended up being with her on his visit.

[david_dawei]

CHNLove attracts chinese ladies who cannot speak english; Ergo, they cannot type or converse very much or maybe do not have computers. For many of us, this is well known.

 

I remember going to another CFLers home a few years ago and saw his wife at a site writing to a man all sorts of lovey dovey stuff; I asked her about it and she laughed and said she was the 'surrogate' writer for her friend

[dnoblett]

CHNLove attracts chinese ladies who cannot speak english; Ergo, they cannot type or converse very much or maybe do not have computers. For many of us, this is well known.

 

I remember going to another CFLers home a few years ago and saw his wife at a site writing to a man all sorts of lovey dovey stuff; I asked her about it and she laughed and said she was the 'surrogate' writer for her friend

 

Sounds like my wife.

[Nate_NT]

I met my wife on Chn-love and well the translater was the one to meet me at the Airport. She said her name was Hong and I was to be her husband. I told her nope you are not Hong. You are the one that has been acting like her. I thne told her to take me to meet my future wife. They took me to the Urumqi office and called her. They did not tell her I was there since they were afraid they would not pay. They lied to her and said they needed another payment. Once the Hong I had a photo of walked in I yelled out 100usd for someone to introduce me to Genghong. Poof about 20 people came running over to help. That was the first time my now wife ever heard of me. Other than the first day she paid 4k rmb and looked at photos online and picked 100 men. I knew what I was getting into and I knew that 90% of the letters I got from women were not really them. (most were the exact same letter with just the name changed. I was looking in Urumqi for my wife)

 

When I told my wife what all had happened she told me this would happen. She was told that American men only see beauty and like young women. She also told me she picked out the person to act like her during my first visit. She was also told that American men are stupid and I would not know the difference when I returned for the wedding party on my next trip.

 

There is more but I just want to warn people to be careful if using an agency.

[bullmastiff]

Thanks for sharing with us.

Urumuqi ? Xinjiang Uyghur .

Most beautiful women in the world .

I went to XinJiang back in 2008 , Urumqi and Kashgar . Saw theater dance performance . Splendid.

[Markscuba1]

I also met my wife on CHNLOVE.com. I also concur that the interpreter makes a lot of false statements about the individual they are representing. Luckily I spent much time with my wife before getting married and found out most of the ones that were not true. It seemed like the interpreter would read the man out and respond to how they felt the man would prefer. But I must say that I have been happy with the sight and I would use it again or recommend it to another.

 

The bottom line is that you need to know the individual as best as you can before you step into such a huge commitment as marriage.

[Mike and Yan]

I used China Love. They suck. It took me $200 to figure out the fraud.

 

The best thing about them is good ridance.

 

Moved on to AFF. Awesome!

[natopronto]

I have found that some American Joes go to China on just a hanful of e-mails and photographs of their beloved who is promising love and a dutiful wife.

I met a guy in Dalian, he was there for the 1st time meeting his new gal. He told me that she seemed completely different in person then from here e-mails she sent to him. My wife told me that she was using a matchmaker and they will tell both parties what they want to hear to get them together as soon as possible and they get paid for their services. She said that many of Chinese ladies and Western men have had their hearts broken and possibly their lives ruined because of these unethical matchmakers.

[credzba]

I have found that some American Joes go to China on just a hanful of e-mails and photographs of their beloved who is promising love and a dutiful wife.

I met a guy in Dalian, he was there for the 1st time meeting his new gal. He told me that she seemed completely different in person then from here e-mails she sent to him. My wife told me that she was using a matchmaker and they will tell both parties what they want to hear to get them together as soon as possible and they get paid for their services. She said that many of Chinese ladies and Western men have had their hearts broken and possibly their lives ruined because of these unethical matchmakers.

 

 

I also know of a few "matchmaker" couples who make it as a married couple, and family. It isn't horrible, certainly no worse than an arranged marriage.

I have posted before that a few of the couples I know came about this way, and in most of the cases the American doesn't know, but also probably doesn't care.

 

The Chinese party was living in a dead end situation in China, often under educated, divorced with a child, not in good financial situation, and poor job prospects.

The American was not that great looking, older, not well off financially but at least stable, sometime divorced, but with few or no child obligations.

These two people CAN make it work, no matter how they are brought together. It take a commitment from both parties, and either a conscious or unconscious recognition that they traded something for what they got.

In the families I know, the woman often is the one willing to trade her youth for her child a chance at a better life in America.

The American is trading his support (because the Chinese can seldom get a job in America either) for the woman and her child for having a better partner than he could have gotten in an equal situation.

 

so .. "matchmaker hell" or "matchmaker heaven", the decision is what happens after the meeting, not how the meeting was arranged.