Leaving for China soon!!!

[ChrisA]

Seem the issue is with papa, a lot out of the norm, it's usually mama that you have to convince, at least that is what I faced with my wife's parents.

 

Indeed, the father is actually ok with the idea. the mother is the one that is really worried. the father just didn't want to acknowledge my presence at first but all is better now. either way your right, she wants and is going to be with me regardless what her parents say. I just wanted to get heir blessing and support

 

Tread this water very carefully, your both need to work hard to win mama's love and support. Take your time (don't rush it), this may help mama adjust to the thought of her daughter and you together in the long run.

 

Best of Luck to you two!

[Amaro]

the votes are in.

 

I got full support from the family. they will let her go through with this and support us during the visa process.

 

thank you all for the advice.

 

my phone is about to die so I will chat with you all later.

[Randy W]

the votes are in.

 

I got full support from the family. they will let her go through with this and support us during the visa process.

 

thank you all for the advice.

 

my phone is about to die so I will chat with you all later.

 

 

Don't worry about the cold shoulder from her father. If you are otherwise getting good signals from him, everything is okay. It is normal for Chinese people to turn down a handshake like this.

[Zhou Zhou]

Baba and Mama should be told about all of the tasty gifts y'all will bring to them after marriage and living in the US...like Bailey's, Kahlua and our delicious chocolates. Amaro, are they feeding you there? How do you like "real" Chinese foods...ain't like the US is it. When was a Marine base built in Ft. Worth?

[weiaijiayou]

Sounds like you¡¯re doing a great job understanding her family¡¯s perspective and concerns. It seems like her family is similar to my wife¡¯s: the older generation on the traditional/conservative side, but ultimately willing to bend and test new waters when their kids have made up their minds on something. My brother-in-law also had a marriage partner arranged for him, but he refused to go through with it, instead ultimately marrying a girl he met and fell in love with on his own.

 

I would guess that up to this point your wife¡¯s family has been keeping you under wraps at her sister or brother¡¯s house or some other non-central location? I remember when my wife and I were dating, her mom used to tell people I was from Xinjiang to avoid some of the negative implications of dating a westerner. At that time, me going to their house and all the neighbors seeing their daughter bringing an American guy home would have been out of the question.

 

No sweat about her dad not shaking your hand. I¡¯m picturing him as similar to my father-in-law, who has a very detached, impersonal, and direct style of relating to people. I remember the first time I met him. He was just arriving at my brother-in-law¡¯s and my wife and I went downstairs to meet him. My wife had somewhere to go, so after a very brief introduction, she left the two of us alone together -- two introverts standing there in the courtyard. After a few curt exchanges on obvious talking-points (¡°How tall are you?¡± ¡°Nice weather lately.¡± ¡°Want a cigarette?¡±), we were just standing there, waiting. The time dragged on, and I started thinking, ¡°Does he already dislike me or what?¡± He didn¡¯t appear to have the slightest bit of interest in me whatsoever. After about 15 minutes, a little lady who lived in the building approached us inquisitively. ¡°Who is he?¡± the lady said in a somewhat nosy way. ¡°Is he ¡®hua ren¡¯? Where is he from?¡± I looked over at my father-in-law as he just stood there, not reacting to the woman in any way. He took a deep, patient drag off of his cigarette, in no rush to answer any of her questions. Finally, ¡°My daughter¡¯s friend¡± is all he ever said to the lady, after an anxious wait. Eventually the woman just walked away, and the exchange left me with the realization: My goodness, this guy actually voluntarily spoke to me! After I understood that he absolutely did not talk when he didn¡¯t want to, the few brief comments he had made to me about the weather and my height now seemed like a tremendous gift and a very good sign.

[Amaro]

We stayed at the brothers house which is owned by the parents, the house is in a 20 story building and in a highly populated area.

 

The dad cooked for us the both nights we were there and it was delicious. They eventually got used to me and they are kinda happy now that their daugther is with me.

 

The father shook my hand when we left for the airport and I gave the mother a hug. I called the mother mama lol. They thought I was really funny and a honest fella. They said they like honesty.

 

I got along with the siblings and her sister actually held my hand as well whenever we walked somewhere. I was like a pimp with two women around me lol I also got along with the brother and we talked a lot about many things.

 

Overall it was a good experience and I think I have a good new second family in china.

 

They never really built a marine base per say, It was a air force base, but they changed it to a Naval Air Station/ Joint Reserve Base Forth Worth. It has all 4 branches on that base along with the entire basing doing reserve drills.

Edited March 14, 2010 by Amaro (see edit history)

[HongKong2LA]

This is good to hear. Sounds like you found a great girl with a great family. Congrats. How much longer will you be in China?

[Amaro]

This is good to hear. Sounds like you found a great girl with a great family. Congrats. How much longer will you be in China?

 

 

2 more weeks

[HongKong2LA]

This is good to hear. Sounds like you found a great girl with a great family. Congrats. How much longer will you be in China?

 

 

2 more weeks

 

Sweet!

[Amaro]

We are going to go to shanghai for the weekend. We are flying in thursday night and leaving sunday afternoon.

 

Does anyone have a MUST SEE local attraction or recommendations of a really nice restaurant? You know the Shanghai must-do list if your in town.

[HongKong2LA]

I'm not familiar with Shanghai, but if you go to HK I can steer you towards some must see's....hehe....Have a great time in Shanghai, I'm sure lots of CFL'ers can give you great suggestions for Shanghai.

[b.c]

We are going to go to shanghai for the weekend. We are flying in thursday night and leaving sunday afternoon.

 

Does anyone have a MUST SEE local attraction or recommendations of a really nice restaurant? You know the Shanghai must-do list if your in town.

 

Spent lots of time in Shanghai. There is so much to see and do in shanghai that it would be best to pair it down by the interests of you and your girl. I am sure you can find plenty of ideas by using google.

 

Here are some things I have done and enjoyed:

 

- Bund area

- going up into the oriental pearl tower (Bund area)

- going up into the jinmao tower (very close to OPT. No need to do both. There is also a new bigger building right beside jinmao tower that I believe is open now. Going up into 1 of these 3 structures is really impressive.

- a river boat cruise at night on the huangpu river (bund area)

- guided bus tour

- There is a haggen-daz in the bund area very close to the pearl tower that sits right on the river. My wife and I like to go there in the evening as long as its not too cold. Its relaxing and a bit romantic. You know what they say in China....if you love her then take her to haggen daz

- Nanjing road. This is probably the most popular shopping and tourist street in China. Its nice to go just to see all the neon signs, etc.

- Jing'an temple

- Restaurants: I am not sure what interests you but there are 2 very good sports bars that serve very good american/western food close to jing'an temple. The names are Malones (They actually have 3 or 4 locations in Shanghai) and Big Bamboo. But there are plenty of very good restaurants of all kinds all over shanghai.

 

If you give me more specific interests then I would be able to give better suggestions. But google should point you in the right direction.

[Zhou Zhou]

We are going to go to shanghai for the weekend. We are flying in thursday night and leaving sunday afternoon.

 

Does anyone have a MUST SEE local attraction or recommendations of a really nice restaurant? You know the Shanghai must-do list if your in town.

 

You are doing very well, glad for you both...the wife and I went to Shanghai and her old college profe met us and showed us the sites. There's plenty to see and many restaurants to try. The boat ride sounds good. We took the underground at rush hour one day...just like you've seen in the zines...people are squeezed into cars like sardines. I read recently that downtown Shanghai is the same size as downtown Atlanta. But Atlanta's downtown has 400,000 people where Shanghai has 4 million, interesting, no. Have you watched Chinese MTV, yet? My first trip, I couldn't get over how there are so many good rock bands in the PRC. Have a good time and y'all be safe.

[Amaro]

Thanks for the recommendations. I went to travelchinaguide.com and just printed out all the tourist attractions on there. Most of the stuff you guys recommended were on there. I cant wait to go up in one of those towers, I think that will be pretty cool. I wonder if we can do everything in 2 days.

[Amaro]

Just got back from shanghai. I got to do most of the stuff you guys mentioned. I couldnt find the Haagen Daaz on the Bund though, they were doing contruction work on the entire area, so it was all closed down. Went up on the Jin Mao tower at night to this bar called Cloud 9, she really liked that one. My favorite was the sightseeing in the Oriental Pearl Tower with the see through floor, that was amazing and scary.

 

Shanghai was definitly worth it, I highly recommend anyone thats ever in china to make a trip over there. Overall I am extremely happy from the experience. I can leave china a happy man.

 

I felt like I was in America for some parts of Shanghai. Running into stores like Best Buy and restuarants such as Pizza Hut, Burger King, and Papa Johns!! They just needed a Taco Bell. There was tons of Shopping to do, and I didnt buy anything since I was a little disappointed. I ran into this place called Metro City which was a electronics paradise. Thinking to myself, China + electronics + made in china, I was hoping to get some sweet deals. But the prices were a little bit negotiable and nothing that was a steal that would have made me buy it now and there.