=)

[hunter]

You know. I miss my wife so much. And the only thing that sometimes really helps me, is your all suffering with me. I am not alone. Whats really neat, is to see someone overcome an obsticle, or pass an interview. Its great to see folks who have their SO in the US and still posting. It makes me look forward to getting to where you are at. A finalizing of the process. Although, my wife calls me smart and wise, I know there will be many hurdles in life. It is a good thing, to see folks make progess as it gives hope that I will eventually move along on this slow process. When I get to milestones, I am very happy, yet tempered by knowing there will be another step. Thanks for silently being there everybody. I know you are all here because you have a heart, and you smile, and you sometimes cry too. I know, and I think you all do too.

Neil.

[Stone]

I hope you will get a P4 soon.

 

Will you come back after your wife passes her interview?

[dustyone]

Well we are all in the same boat together. We maybe be in differt parts of the united states and are so may be all over china but we all feel the same pain. and at times the same lost feelings that it is never going to end. But it will and thankfuly we all do not have bad days on the same day there is always some one having a good day to cheer us up.

 

patrick

[lou]

Neil, the biggest thing to combat is depression. This whole sordid process is one that easily drive you to distraction. Recognize it and fight it. Participate in the silly stuff in the TC, or whatever. Remember your SO is having a rough time, too. They can't understand why it takes so long and you can't 'just fix it' like in China. Be strong for her.

 

This ain't an easy road for anyone, whether the process takes 6 months or two years. Keep the faith........YOU WILL GET A VISA, you just don't know when. But.....today is one day closer than yesterday.

196507[/snapback]

Amen to that.

[hunter]

Of course i'll come back. There are some interesting personalities on here. You know, before I married my wife, I was addicted to a game called Everquest. I played everyday after work, all the way up to bed, and burn the weekends with all day and all nite experience grinds. I am used to on line communities. I know I wont be wanting to play that game much when my wife is with me, so I am weaning myself off it, and catching up with you guys in your progress gives me things I can do when I'm not playing EQ. Don, I have been dealing with my stress playing a game called Call of Duty, on my PC. I have been killing germans in new and creative ways and just enjoying the blood lust and battle victory yells and shouts. =) Takes my mind off stuff. Plus when I'm pissed off cause I just got killed for the 5th time in a row straight, i'm not thinking about my loss.

[RLS]

Neil, I have to respond to you because I had written a similar post a while back. I, too, miss my SO terribly. I remember in January when I had to leave her at the airport in Nanning. It was one of the most difficult experiences I have ever had to go through. We clung to each other and didn't want to let go. That is when I made a promise to her and to myself: "We WILL get the visa and we WILL be together. Neither Hell nor high water will keep us apart. Since my wife left me about seven years ago I have spent many lonely nights, but, in a way, it has made me a stronger person. Sure, I have had opportunities with other women, but, there is something about the Chinese lady that draws me in. When I first started sending emails to several Chinese ladies I thought I could fall for any one of them. One of the CFL people I know is Eric. I told him that I wanted to go to China to meet these ladies. He had already been there. He advised me that I should narrow it down to one lady. I was interested in three at the time. I hated making that decision, but, I decided that I must. I chose my Yonghua, or Ivy, as she likes to be called. I think that was one of the best decisions I've ever made in my life. I could not have asked for a better human being. She struck every nerve in my body. We fell in love and here we go-- down that Visa road, right along with you and the others here at CFL. I couldn't find a better bunch of people to travel with. I figure, if I get a flat tire, they'll be right there with a jack and a spare. As long as we all stick together I think we're a pretty powerful group. So, here I am waiting for my damn check to be cashed - LOL. Ron

[Michael and Manyun]

We WILL get the visa and we WILL be together.  Neither Hell nor high water will keep us apart. 

Thanks, all of you. I was feeling pretty lousy after just now signing off with Manyun. I always spend the last few minutes on CFL before going to bed to find the latest success story, or bit of wisdom that will help ease the stress, and yes...DIStress.

 

I hope you all have a great evening, and thanks again for the finishing touch on mine.

 

Mike

[izus]

too many wasted evenings on ultima online (77 months) or world of warcraft...

but alot of fun..

both games had to be retired for way too much in schedule to even think about raids on the horde

some days drag other days zoom right along.

there is just way too much readings on this site that you can directly relate to...

thanks candle

[Matman]

You know. I miss my wife so much. And the only thing that sometimes really helps me, is your all suffering with me. I am not alone. Whats really neat, is to see someone overcome an obsticle, or pass an interview. Its great to see folks who have their SO in the US and still posting. It makes me look forward to getting to where you are at. A finalizing of the process. Although, my wife calls me smart and wise, I know there will be many hurdles in life. It is a good thing, to see folks make progess as it gives hope that I will  eventually move along on this slow process. When I get to milestones, I am very happy, yet tempered by knowing there will be another step. Thanks for silently being there everybody. I know you are all here because you have a heart, and you smile, and you sometimes cry too. I know, and I think you all do too.

Neil.

196503[/snapback]

And to think I'm just getting started!

[pkfops]

I just worked hard and went to China every 6 to 8 months.

[RLS]

I just worked hard and went to China every 6 to 8 months.

196639[/snapback]

Glad that you are able to do that, Pete, and I'm serious. But, unfortunately, all of us cannot do that.

[eeyore]

Its a long tough process, I can relate to the comments about depression, staying up has been a real challenge esp since we are in clearance delay. I live alone and have no family near either and that makes it tough, but the hardest part is there seems to be now way out, at least to say if my wife wants a US visa. I can't temporally move to China, or other country, I loose my income and would not be able to sponsor her. I just hope she will get the p-4 soon.

I do not post a lot on cfl but reading almost daily has helped a lot.

[pkfops]

I'm just an average guy.

 

After planning our itinerary, I would buy my Trans Pacific flight

90 days in advance. This would give my 3 months to spread

the payments.

 

The hotel; I would spread the payments 1 to two months

after my return.

 

The big key to China travel; the longer you stay the more

you save. Day to day expenses are much cheaper in

China than the US.

 

For our Yunnan trip we spent 23 days and toured 5 cities.

AirFare and hotel was $2300.

 

I plugged in a similar itinerary with a China travel service

and it was close to $10,000 minus the Trans Pacific airfare.

 

When I got home I had money in the bank (direct deposit)

as I did not have my "at home expenses".

 

Hang in there and plan well.

 

Remember you SO is your partner and can privide shortcuts

and save $$$$ with you travels.

[SheLikesME?]

Good thread. In fact I have had terrible depression of late. I have learned to not share all of the negative things with my wife. She had it hard too, but is so enthused about learning before she comes here she has thrown herself into education. She always asks me not to get her thinking too much in terms of our intimate times together. I never saw such a smart lady with a good job go nuts like she did the first time we met. Boy it was rough being back. But leaving her at the airport the 2nd time was horrible. She just hung her head and cried and her nose ran. I had my son get in line with my luggage and security let me back out to stand with her awhile. She asked how I knew she would still be there, and I said I just knew. She felt like her life was leaving her.

 

Lately this depression is working on the love I have for her. I can tell I have shut a lot of it out. I don't like that. I also find it hard to work on the house and my job to prepare for her. So I am glad to read this thread. Maybe I will come out of the numbness.

 

Thanks ALL.

[jemmyell]

We WILL get the visa and we WILL be together.  Neither Hell nor high water will keep us apart. 

Thanks, all of you. I was feeling pretty lousy after just now signing off with Manyun. I always spend the last few minutes on CFL before going to bed to find the latest success story, or bit of wisdom that will help ease the stress, and yes...DIStress.

 

I hope you all have a great evening, and thanks again for the finishing touch on mine.

 

Mike

196567[/snapback]

Hi Neil, Hi Michael,

 

I am quoting this post because this is also my final nightly activity. If Loving Candle has been very busy at work and has not signed back on after lunch (her lunch in China), I finish up here, to see the stories and participate however I may.

 

-James