where's the outrage?

[Guest ShaQuaNew]

I wonder what the percentage of 'relationships that go south' is for CFL members ?

 

Is it higher or lower than the current divorce rate ?

164647[/snapback]

I was listening to a radio discussion about pre-nups last week. The host observed that in California 70% of second or later marriages fail. And I know it's about 50% failure for first marriages in California.

 

Some how I think the CFL population does better than that ... but then I'm an optimist.

164704[/snapback]

U.S. Divorce Statistics

Marriage & Divorce:

(2002 except where noted)

 

Total divorces granted in 1997: 1,163,000

 

Rate per 1,000 population (1999): (excluding CA, CO, IN and LA) 4.1

 

State with the lowest divorce rate: (1997) Massachusetts. Rate per 1,000 population: 2.4

 

State with the higest divorce rate: Nevada. Rate per 1,000 population: (1997)  9.0

 

Percentage of population that is married: 59% (down from 62% in 1990, 72% in 1970)

 

Percentage of population that has never married: 24%

 

Percentage of population that is divorced: 10% (up from 8% in 1990, 6% in 1980)

 

Percentage of population that is widowed: 7%

 

Median age at first marriage: Males: 26.9

Females: 25.3

 

Median age at first divorce: Males: 30.5

Females: 29

 

Median age at second marriage:  Males: 34

Females: 32

 

Median age at second divorce:  Males: 39.3

Females: 37

 

Median duration of first marriages that end in divorce: Males: 7.8 years

Females: 7.9 years

 

Median duration of second marriages that end in divorce: Males: 7.3 years

Females: 6.8 years

 

Median number of years people wait to remarry after their first divorce:  Males: 3.3 years

Females: 3.1 years

 

Percentage of married people who reach their 5th, 10th, and 15th anniversaries: 5th: 82%, 10th: 65%, 15th: 52%

 

Percentage of married people who reach their 25th, 35th, and 50th anniversaries:  25th: 33%, 35th: 20%, 50th: 5%

 

Percentage of people who have ever been married by the age of 25:  Males: 32%

Females: 50%

 

Percentage of people who have ever been married by the age of 35:  Males: 77%

Females: 84%

 

Percentage of people who have ever been married by the age of 45:  Males: 87%

Females: 90%

 

Percentage of people who have ever been married by the age of 55:  Both males and females: 95%

 

Likelihood of new marriages ending in divorce in 1997: 43%

 

Percentage of all householders who are unmarried in 2000: 48%

 

Percentage of weddings which are remarriages for at least one partner in 1997: 43%

 

Percentage of first marriages that end in divorce in 1997: 50%

 

Percentage of remarriages that end in divorce in 1997:  60%

 

Percentage of divorced women who remarry within five years as of 1995:  54%

 

Estimated average length of divorce proceedings in 1997: 1 year

 

Percentage of African American adults in this age group never married in 1998: 53%

 

Percentage of households occupied by one person in 2000: 25.5%

 

Percentage of population (by area of US) who had never married in 1999: 

Midwest: 28%

Northeast: 28%

South: 26%

West: 29%

 

Number of married couples (2000): 56,497,000

Number of married people whose spouses are absent (2000):

Males: 1,365,000 (1.3%)

Females: 1,365,000 (1.2%)

 

People who have been widowed (2000): Males: 2,604,000 (2.5%)

Females:11,061,000 (10%)

 

People who are divorced (2000): Males: 8,572,000 (8.3%)

Females: 11,309,000 (10.2%)

 

People who are separated (2000): Males: 1,818,000 (1.8%)

Females: 2,661,000 (2.4%)

 

Percentage of people that married under the age of 20 who eventually get divorced as of 1995:  40%

 

Percentage of people that married over the age of 25 who eventually get divorced as of 1995:  24%

 

Percentage of couples not affiliated with any religious group who eventually get divorced as of 1995: 46%

 

Percentage of women whose parents were divorced who get divorced within 10 years as of 1995: 43%

 

Percentage of women whose parents stayed together who get divorced within 10 years as of 1995: 29%

 

Interracial married couples in 2000: 1,047,000

 

Number of unmarried couples living together: 5.5 million

 

Percentage of unmarried couples living together that are male-female unions: 89%

 

Percentage of women who cohabited before they turned 30 in 1995: 50%

 

Percentage of couples living together for more than five years who eventually marry as of 1995: 70%

 

Number of people divorcing each year as of 1997: 2.5 million

 

Drop in standard of living of females after divorce as of 2000: 45%

 

Number of women who are stalked by a husband or ex-husband every year as of 1997: 380,000

 

Number of men who are stalked by a wife or ex-wife every year as of 1997: 52,000

[Tony_onrock]

In the past I tried not to say too much about this. Sometimes I hear both sides of the story. Not sure if green card is the thing some one is looking for. Otherwise a woman would certainly wait till two years after marriage or at least till the temp. one is granted and not just a K1 90 day visa.

On the other hand we all know women are looking for one thing or another. I am a pragmatic guy. I am 43, overweight. If I am going out with a 21 or 24 year old cuttie, I got to expect some suspicion as to motive. The most important thing is, after the initial mixed motive, did she really fall in love? If she did, who cares, right? Personally , I would never get really upset if I was used or some one intended to use me. I do everything with my eyes wide open and never let emotion gets in the way.

[Joanne]

I do everything with my eyes wide open and never let emotion gets in the way.

165307[/snapback]

 

I was exactly opposit. I kept my eyes tightly shut while I was in love. I think love itself is emotional in nature. And love is powerful, it can make your life wonderful no matter where you are and no matter how much you make, no matter you live in a palace or in an old trailer. If you are in love, you don't mind paddling 30 miles each day to get to work; you don't mind always eating cold noodles for lunch and having dinner at 11 every night, then having to get up to paddle uphill to school at 7 in the morning; you don't mind carrying 30lb of groceries on you back and walking home once a week... Everything is memorable, even your tears from time to time. As long as you have love and good health (Yes, a good health is also important, it is the basis for a good spirit.)

Edited November 2, 2005 by Joanne (see edit history)

[Darlene2005]

I do everything with my eyes wide open and never let emotion gets in the way.

165307[/snapback]

 

I was exactly opposit. I kept my eyes tightly shut while I was in love. I think love itself is emotional in nature. And love is powerful, it can make your life wonderful no matter where you are and no matter how much you make, no matter you live in a palace or in an old trailer. If you are in love, you don't mind paddling 30 miles each day to get to work; you don't mind always eating cold noodles for lunch and having dinner at 11 every night, then having to get up to paddle uphill to school at 7 in the morning; you don't mind carrying 30lb of groceries on you back and walking home once a week... Everything is memorable, even your tears from time to time. As long as you have love and good health (Yes, a good health is also important, it is the basis for a good spirit.)

165327[/snapback]

Agree!!!!!!

 

You told what I want to say. Thank you, Joanne!

[notrevorich]

In the past I tried not to say too much about this.  Sometimes I hear both sides of the story.  Not sure if green card is the thing some one is looking for.  Otherwise a woman would certainly wait till two years after marriage or at least till the temp. one is granted and not just a K1 90 day visa. 

On the other hand we all know women are looking for one thing or another.  I am a pragmatic guy.  I am 43, overweight.  If I am going out with a 21 or 24 year old cuttie, I got to expect some suspicion as to motive.  The most important thing is, after the initial mixed motive, did she really fall in love?  If she did, who cares, right?  Personally , I would never get really upset if I was used or some one intended to use me.  I do everything with my eyes wide open and never let emotion gets in the way.

165307[/snapback]

Well Said

If you are a old fat ,ugly ,poorly educated American Man and a Gorgeous ,beautful ,well educated and intelligent chinese woman wants to marry you

LOOK OUT

cause it ain't love she's after

For Me ,one of my experiences on Line was I was contacted by 3 women (NOT at the Same time ) who are very beautiful and in their 20's ( my best friend has a Chinese wife - who has a hobby of match making )

One Girl asked me to come over to China to Marry her after I had been talking to her on line for about a month .

Now come on

I am pretty much an Average guy who is healthy , has all his hair , somewhat intelligent ,has property a good job etc , etc and could eazily find an American Born Wife

But regardless fo being flattered - it is pretty clear what that girl's agenda was

and it sure was not Love

I found my Own Girl , who is well educated ,has a great job , owns a house and who I am convinced really does Love me

she has passed several tests including having someone else contact her

who was younger and better looking ( He is a friend who did not believe me when I said that She was so special ) - He is Now dating Chinese woman who are already here in the USA -likes theirr values and culture

[drive_75]

In the past I tried not to say too much about this.  Sometimes I hear both sides of the story.  Not sure if green card is the thing some one is looking for.  Otherwise a woman would certainly wait till two years after marriage or at least till the temp. one is granted and not just a K1 90 day visa. 

On the other hand we all know women are looking for one thing or another.  I am a pragmatic guy.  I am 43, overweight.  If I am going out with a 21 or 24 year old cuttie, I got to expect some suspicion as to motive.  The most important thing is, after the initial mixed motive, did she really fall in love?  If she did, who cares, right?  Personally , I would never get really upset if I was used or some one intended to use me.  I do everything with my eyes wide open and never let emotion gets in the way.

165307[/snapback]

Well Said

If you are a old fat ,ugly ,poorly educated American Man and a Gorgeous ,beautful ,well educated and intelligent chinese woman wants to marry you

LOOK OUT

cause it ain't love she's after

For Me ,one of my experiences on Line was I was contacted by 3 women (NOT at the Same time ) who are very beautiful and in their 20's ( my best friend has a Chinese wife - who has a hobby of match making )

One Girl asked me to come over to China to Marry her after I had been talking to her on line for about a month .

Now come on

I am pretty much an Average guy who is healthy , has all his hair , somewhat intelligent ,has property a good job etc , etc and could eazily find an American Born Wife

But regardless fo being flattered - it is pretty clear what that girl's agenda was

and it sure was not Love

I found my Own Girl , who is well educated ,has a great job , owns a house and who I am convinced really does Love me

she has passed several tests including having someone else contact her

who was younger and better looking ( He is a friend who did not believe me when I said that She was so special ) - He is Now dating Chinese woman who are already here in the USA -likes theirr values and culture

166077[/snapback]

You put her through a test? Seems like you still have doubt then.

[notrevorich]

In the past I tried not to say too much about this.  Sometimes I hear both sides of the story.  Not sure if green card is the thing some one is looking for.  Otherwise a woman would certainly wait till two years after marriage or at least till the temp. one is granted and not just a K1 90 day visa. 

On the other hand we all know women are looking for one thing or another.  I am a pragmatic guy.  I am 43, overweight.  If I am going out with a 21 or 24 year old cuttie, I got to expect some suspicion as to motive.  The most important thing is, after the initial mixed motive, did she really fall in love?  If she did, who cares, right?  Personally , I would never get really upset if I was used or some one intended to use me.  I do everything with my eyes wide open and never let emotion gets in the way.

165307[/snapback]

Well Said

If you are a old fat ,ugly ,poorly educated American Man and a Gorgeous ,beautful ,well educated and intelligent chinese woman wants to marry you

LOOK OUT

cause it ain't love she's after

For Me ,one of my experiences on Line was I was contacted by 3 women (NOT at the Same time ) who are very beautiful and in their 20's ( my best friend has a Chinese wife - who has a hobby of match making )

One Girl asked me to come over to China to Marry her after I had been talking to her on line for about a month .

Now come on

I am pretty much an Average guy who is healthy , has all his hair , somewhat intelligent ,has property a good job etc , etc and could eazily find an American Born Wife

But regardless fo being flattered - it is pretty clear what that girl's agenda was

and it sure was not Love

I found my Own Girl , who is well educated ,has a great job , owns a house and who I am convinced really does Love me

she has passed several tests including having someone else contact her

who was younger and better looking ( He is a friend who did not believe me when I said that She was so special ) - He is Now dating Chinese woman who are already here in the USA -likes theirr values and culture

166077[/snapback]

You put her through a test? Seems like you still have doubt then.

166141[/snapback]

NO I HAVE NO DOUBTS

 

MY FRIEND CONTACTED HER WITHOUT MY KNOWLEDGE OR APPROVAL

 

NEEDLESS TO SAY I REALLY HOT UNDER THE COLLAR ABOUT THAT

 

WE ARE STILL FRIENDS BUT THE STUNT HAS TESTED OUR RELATIONSHIP,

I HAVE KNOWN HIM FOR OVER 30 YEARS

[bubbafred10]

At least I don't read anyone getting into a pauper house because of the failed relationships. That's the bright side of things. If it were an American woman, many would have lost plenty.

 

But fellas!, come on!, all you have done is to have let yourself got fooled. I was told that women from other countries not only jilted their American hubbies for the US visa but also for their money through the credit cards. Yeah, like charging $10,000 to $20,000 per month on husbands' credit cards before the divorce filings. Their excuses have been "You Americans are supposed to be wealthy and why those credit card charges make such a big deal?" So many of those American men are the ones who filed for the divorces because they cannot handle the expensive taste and credit card rampage of their new foreign brides.

 

Anyone experiencing this?

Edited November 7, 2005 by bubbafred10 (see edit history)

[notrevorich]

At least I don't read anyone getting into a pauper house because of the failed relationships.  That's the bright side of things.  If it were an American woman, many would have lost plenty. 

 

But fellas!, come on!, all you have done is to have let yourself got fooled.  I was told that women from other countries not only jilted their American hubbies for the US visa but also for their money through the credit cards.  Yeah, like charging $10,000 to $20,000 per month on husbands' credit cards before the divorce filings.  Their excuses have been "You Americans are supposed to be wealthy and why those credit card charges make such a big deal?"  So many of those American men are the ones who filed for the divorces because they cannot handle the expensive taste and credit card rampage of their new foreign brides. 

 

Anyone experiencing this?

166724[/snapback]

MY SO has one of my Credit cards and she is yet to use it

[Bigguy_33]

At least I don't read anyone getting into a pauper house because of the failed relationships.  That's the bright side of things.  If it were an American woman, many would have lost plenty. 

 

  So many of those American men are the ones who filed for the divorces because they cannot handle the expensive taste and credit card rampage of their new foreign brides. 

 

Anyone experiencing this?

166724[/snapback]

You have no idea what you are talking about.

 

I have seen several US men¡¯s financial, emotional and/or physical lives ruin by their foreign wives.

 

and I have never seen one US man divorced his wife, because she was spending too much.

[Thomas Promise]

If your new Wife is on the High Maintenance Hi-way with your plastic it ain't her fault. It is yours. Soon you will be hearing Amex saying Leave home with out it.

[warpedbored]

I have been coming to CFL now for about 2 1/2 years. I could probably count the number of failed relationships here in that time on both hands. Considering the number of marriages our group has had in that same time frame I would have to conclude that we are above the norm in succesfull marriages. Of course 2 1/2 years is too a short of a time to draw an accurate conclusion. Ask me again in five years.

[bubbafred10]

You have no idea what you are talking about.

 

I have seen several US men¡¯s financial, emotional and/or physical lives ruin by their foreign wives.

 

and I have never seen one US man divorced his wife, because she was spending too much.

166728[/snapback]

 

 

So hopelessly clueless. I came across a few, not here but in 001 and from other sources.

[bubbafred10]

One story in 001 is about a Dennis who has 3 to 4 girlfriends in China, and dumped one in favor of another, and rotate them around. All for the promises of love and US visa. I think he has the whole China as the source of his concubines.

 

As far as a so called Jeff, whose K3 wife asked for divorce, that woman is really grilled by the ladies in 001. At the same time, that Jeff should feel fortunate because he got rid a bad woman who goes by three to four names and has tried this fling with several other men. Almost got hooked to another guy before Jeff, but that fella cancelled due to a transmitted disease. Oh, well, I guess some men just love the horror types.

Edited November 7, 2005 by bubbafred10 (see edit history)

[warpedbored]

Too much emphasis is put on the Chinese party being the scammer. Perhaps more often it is her that gets the short end of the stick. Men will lie about their income, living conditions, debts, and beliefs just to get them over here. The sweet loving attentive man in China may well turn out to be a domineering slave driver who wants to control the womans every move. I know of women who's new husbands turn out to be abusive drunks. One woman I know, her husband hid her passport from her so she couldn't leave the country. . Jany's case is the most extreme. She was lured here by a convicted sex offender who only wanted to molest her little girl.