phantom1949

David, Thanks and just poor it on. The more the better. Also the more you can discuss our different approahes the better we can understand the way Chinese people may think. A deeper approach to action versus words. As an example, some SO's will talk less or write less then we would. Some understandings on how the Chines people think versus how we do would be helpful. And like I said just keep it coming. Maybe I am wrong but understand how the Chinese think will help us in the early stages of our relationships as well as better knowing the people as a whole.

Well, lets get serious. why does your husband need clothes???? All he needs is a pair of jeans and a tee shirt, one suit, one shirt and a tie........ If he loves you, he should give you ALL of the closets!!!!! Paula, you just need to take the time to train him..

Dennis: That was heavy (I can say Heavy as I am also 57 and that was from Our Generation ). I will say that I do not think we are losers at all. In fact I have thought about it for years and fell the exact opposite. I know for me, I am tired of the games that American Women play ( I do not mean all women but many who I have met). Yes we are marching to a different drummer, but for me I just do not want to settle any longer. I met this Chinese Lady here in the USA about 1.5 years ago. She was older and was only concerned that I was loyal to her and not dating other women. Long story short, I was loyal but found she was married and still sleeping in the sam ebed as her husband. She was a wonderful but (in my estimation) confused lady. Again, I want a happy life and want to be with somone who wants to be with me. For many of us I think that American women just do not cut it.. I do care what my children think as I want them to be supportive. But in the end, the decision is still mine. But I enjoy reading what others have experienced and feel as it helps me think through the process. Just one mans opinion.

Congratulations!!!!! You must be one happy guy and I am sure your SOis happy!!!!

with those on this site, marrying foreign nationals, I was wondering what stories our members have on their familes. When did not tell your family of your SO and your plans? Did, your family and children support your decision? Did your family and children accept your SO as apart of their family? What thoughts and recommendations can you give on your experiences? Inquiring minds.......

I think it is all relative. Miami has such a high crime rate, that the city, posted a smiling sun on highway exits where it is safe to get off. But I thought one of the nice features of China was that it was safer there. I guess it isn't in all areas. But then, there are many places here that I would not go. Well. I guess I should get my SO out of there.......

Best wishes!!

Every interesting insight. Thanks for the posts.

I so agree. This is not the time for debat here, you need some good help. Good Luck.

Great - go celebrate!!!

Fantastic!!! Congrats!!!!! Time to Celebrate!!!

WOW, zxy4r, I really feel for you. If I can ask some questions to the group. Which is a safer way to go the K1 or K3? I was told the K3 takes longer, is that true? Is the issue with zxy4r application the timeline that things happened very fast? Other then a short timeline, his progression seems like everyone elses or am I missing something? I thought for a K1 fiance Visa you file the I 129F, what is the I 134? Again, I am a newbie here.

Here is the body of an E-mail I received from a Visa attorney. I am new to the process and WILL NOT USE THIS ATTORNEY so I am not pushing anyone. I am posting it here only for the information. The e-mail was sent to me on December 5th so it should be current. I hope it helps: In this newsletter, number 12 in the series, we cover the question - "What is the financial requirement for the fianc¨¦e visa and how can it be met?" Following is a basic answer to this question, for a more detailed overview, Simply stated the fianc¨¦e visa applicant must show that he and his dependents, including the fianc¨¦e and any children coming to the US with the fianc¨¦e are covered at 1.25 times the poverty level. This requirement is reduced to 1.0 times the poverty level for active duty military personnel. The requirement can be met by income, assets, or cosponsors or in combinations of the foregoing items. In the following I will use rounded and approximate numbers for my examples. These numbers change from time to time and obviously we need to make an individual calculation for each customer. In the 48 contiguous States the requirement for 2 dependents (US citizen applicant and foreign fianc¨¦e) is about $16,000/year. Adding 2 dependents, say one child from the former marriage of the US citizen and a child traveling to the US with the foreign fianc¨¦e adds about $2,000/year for a total of $18,000/year. I will use this same requirement to illustrate several different examples. Example 1 - Income only: For an individual with a well document (usually tax returns) income of $18,000 or more the requirement can be met on income alone Example 2 - Income and assets: For an individual with a well documented income of $10,000 per year the calculation is as follows: Requirement 3 years times 18,000/year = $54,000 Portion met by income 3 years time $10,000/year= $30,000 ________ Net this portion met by assets $14,000 The portion met by assets is most easily met by liquid assets - but any verifiable asset can be used Example 3 - Cosponsor required. In cases where the numbers do not add up to meet the above to examples, a cosponsor can be added. The cosponsor can be any US citizen that meets the financial requirement and need not be a relative. In this situation both the applicant and the cosponsor sign financial affidavits. I hope this helps!!! Good Luck, Lawrence

I wish you the best!!!! Lawrence

Interesting. Is this still a problem causing delays or where is it now???

Drew: With everything you say and the feelings that both you and your SO express, then work it out with her. Go visit her with your family and let her know you both love and support her. Give her a chance to succeed in her venture and visit her often. Give her a chance to gorw up a little, to mend her hurt feelings and allow the two of you to draw closer. It may be a hrder road in the short term but bring both of your closer together and make for a stronger marriage. It does not sound like she is playing games, but she is young and like the rest of us has dreams as well. The nice part is you are part of her dreams. So work it out. Lawrence

Paula: What you wrote is wonderful!!! What you bring to the forum when you write is what women like yourself feel. You know, while we can only guess. I really enjoyed reading what you wrote and your insight is greatly needed here. Again, welcome to America!!! When you rest up and feel better let your husband take you for a ride in the evening to see all the chirstmas decorations!!! They are so pretty - you will love them. Rest up and feel better. Lawrence

I live in Texas and Florida. I have a Florida driver license but when opening up an account in Texas, the bank wanted a Texas ID. I took my Texas electric bill, etc and went to the texas motor vehicles showin gI lived in Texas and got not a Texas Drivers License, but a Texas ID. You need to contact your state and ask where to get a State ID. Your SO may only need her passport and some bill being sent to her. I hope this helps.

Cute, OK I'm smiling!!!!!

Drew: When these types of threads are posted, there are so many opinions and they all have some merit in them. I agree that if you let her fly away she will. Non of us know her but I agree that at a young age, it may not be games but immaturiity and inexperience. Being confused and hurt is something we call all understand. There is an old expression that says "Youth is wasted on the Young". Letting your SO fly away is also telling her you do not care enough to fight for her. Many of us here have had bad relationships and when something like this happens, we can mentally brand her as a game player. Maybe she is and maybe is isn't We are guessing as we do not know her. When people come together, there are so many reasons, physical attraction, deep love, security and the list can just keep growing. If you love this lady, go and talk to her. No pressure, so games, just talk. If you can go there for a month to spend time with her, then do it. If it is a choice between her and your job, well, you need to decide what is more important. You can always get another SO but then you can also always get another job. You both need to talk and open up to each other if she will. But if yuo love her, let her know it. Speaking the words is just air movng around. Action and deeds are what counts. Show her though actions that you love her. As for the immaturity it is normal at a younger age. So be understanding. Do not try to convince her WHAT YOU WANT, but listen to what she wants and see where the common ground it. What I was told once and I believe it is that for you to have true love both of you need to feel it in your hearts and minds. We can all talk, but this is your life. I wish you good luck in your deciding. In the end we are all looking for happiness and I hope you find it as well. Lawrence

Very well said. Life is a journey but it is also a series or challenges. Good Luck in how you proceed!!!!

You have to do what you thinl best. I would go to visit her be it in February or whenever, but is it a good idea to surpirse her? I would let her know when you were planning to come. Maybe I am wrong, but sometimes surprises can blow up in our face......

Fantastic!!!!! Sounds like you will have a very happy new years!!!

Good luck!!!

Good luck!!!