phantom1949

I do not mean to sound stupid, but it is easy for some of us. What is a CR-1???

WOW, so much information. Thank you all and keep it coming. I need all the help I can get. More info, I am 57 and Nicole is 41. I wanted to address the concerns raised on her looking to marry another American. I am not trying to defend her but when I first asked, she seemed insulted a little but then said she would tell me. When she did, she then asked that we not discuss it again. I think she was hurt from the way she wrote it over having to tell it to someone. If things work out, then I want her to decide if we go the K1 or K3 route, and I still feel that way. I agree that we need to meet and spend time together, but that is also what she told me. I think she now suggested going the k1 route possible for a few reasons, such as not putting the family through another marriage and who knows what will happen; the K1 processis suppose to be faster; with the K1 we will get months together to see if we want to make this permanent; and maybe she was insulted that I did push the issue. I also read that for women over 40 in China it is very hard if not impossible to find someone in China. But in the end who knows. I did have one person PM me telling me to watch out for ladies from Shenzhen as they are after your money and will only stay with you if you have money. I am not writing this to insult anyone but to get a response. I could make this same comment for parts of the USA as well but is this a concern for Shenzhen or anywhere in China??? Again, I mean no disrespect. She seems to want a simple life. She will work or stay home depending on what I want; we can live in a city or country based upon what I want, and so on. Of course if we were going to be together, then I would not make any decisions without talking to her. Everybody says that i/we need to be cautious and I agree with that. I do want to be careful but also do not want to over anlayze a situation and make it bad when it is not. In the end spending time with Nicole when I come to China will be the best yardstick fior measuring the relationship. Any comments???? Also, it was said to bring presents for the family. I was planning on doing that but what are the right sort of presents. I could bring the wrong presents and offend as well. Some ideas would be appreciated. Also are there any threads here or books to read on understanding the Chinese culture??? I was brought us in New York City where we speak our mind so I would love to understand the culture better.

I am confused on the whole paperwork thing. So I know I need the I129 and the 325A but what else do I need to take? Where can I go to see the entire paper process and forms, etc??? Everyone here seems like a Pro and I do not understand some of the terms used.. HELP!!! I had asked her if she wanted to get married in China or get a Fiance Visa and that we could decide when we met. At this point she wants to go the Fiance Visa route, but I will still get her decide (assuming all goes well). I have read about being careful as some women just want a green card. Well Nicole told me she had met an American who came to China and they did get married there. But after he was home, he sent her divorce papers and never brought her to the USA. So, I guess her family will be very leerly of another American coming to meet their daughter. I will just have to win them over. In either case, I will fly into HongKong when I fly there and we will then travel to the mainland. I told her that she can plan the trip of where we go. I will bring the paperwork for both a Fiance Visa and a Marriage Visa to cover all bases. I am new at this so any ideas, opinions, etc would be greatly appreciated. Thanks to all!!! A few thoughts. If you are meeting in Hong Kong, you will want to be careful to obtain the right visa. A single entry visa will get you into the mainland only one time. If you plan to cross into the mainland more than once, then get a two entry visa. The marriage visa requires the I-130 form in addition to filling out the I-129 a little differently than for the K1 visa. You'll also need an additional set of G 325a. More importantly, you'll need to take any certified divorce decrees with you when you go. If you decide after your arrival, that you prefer to marry, simply take your SO and her ID with you to the Consulate in Guangzhou, present photocopies of your certified divorce decree (Show but retain the actual certified copy.) and have the Consulate issue you a Certificate of Marriageability. She will also need to present proof of any divorces to her local marriage office. Generally this is in the area of her registered residence or Houkou. She will need her divorce decrees including one from the USA in order for you to marry or file any visa petition for her as your fiance or wife. You might as well obtain multiple passport type photographs while you are there and if she doesn't already have a passport there is no reason to delay applying for one. You mention her family lives elsewhere. If I were in your shoes, I would want to both meet her family and see her current residence before committing to marriage but maybe that's just me. Get ready for the adventure of a lifetime regardless. Duke: Thank you. We are playing to meet her family while I am there. She owns her own apartment in Shenzhen and I am sure we will be there also. Thanks for the input. Lawrence

Thanks Clayton!!! I need all the help I can get. Lawrence

I am confused on the whole paperwork thing. So I know I need the I129 and the 325A but what else do I need to take? Where can I go to see the entire paper process and forms, etc??? Everyone here seems like a Pro and I do not understand some of the terms used.. HELP!!! I have read all the posts, and think it is best if things work out for Nicole and I to buy the ring together. I really like that idea. Thank you ALL!!!!! Nicole lives in Shenzhen now but her family lives somewhere else. She said we should meet in HongKong (she would meet me in the airport) and we should spend some time there, then sometime during the trip go to visit her family. As for the type of person she is, well, she does not seem materialistic at all. I will be changing my job soon and probably moving. I am changing my job as I travel a lot now and when I am married I want to be there with my wife to help her - I do not want to leave her alone while I am away all the time. Nicole's response to where we could live is that I should choose and she will be happy. We have discussed many things about what we want. She has told me that she does not want any more children (we each have our own from prior marriages) which means we can focus on and spoil each other. Nicole seems to want a simpler life. She is now a CPA in China. We write each other all the time. I do write a lot more, but then we write in English and I assume she needs a friend to translate. While we have not met yet, I feel very close to her. She is a very warm and caring lady. When I started meeting ladies on the internet, I made the mistake of writing to too many. The good side to that was I saw so many responses that were carbon copies of each other or woman wanting to know what I would buy them, etc.... but then there was Nicole. She did not write as often but what she wrote really stood out and I was drawn to her. But I noticed there were quesitons I asked that she never answered. A friend here PM's me to be careful and really know the lady in detail. So I wrote her and said if we were to move forward we really need to know everything about each other. I then wrote about my past in detail. She responded in kind and now I feel a lot closer to her. She told me things that most people do not talk about and really opened up to me. It made me feel a lot closer to her. I had asked her if she wanted to get married in China or get a Fiance Visa and that we could decide when we met. At this point she wants to go the Fiance Visa route, but I will still get her decide (assuming all goes well). I have read about being careful as some women just want a green card. Well Nicole told me she had met an American who came to China and they did get married there. But after he was home, he sent her divorce papers and never brought her to the USA. So, I guess her family will be very leerly of another American coming to meet their daughter. I will just have to win them over. I am not writing all this to air laundry, but I while we have never met, I am beginning to feel like we want the same things and would make each other very happy. She was not proud of what happened with the American but I guess it shows that both Americans and foreign nationals can prey on each other. In either case, I will fly into HongKong when I fly there and we will then travel to the mainland. I told her that she can plan the trip of where we go. I will bring the paperwork for both a Fiance Visa and a Marriage Visa to cover all bases. I am new at this so any ideas, opinions, etc would be greatly appreciated. Thanks to all!!!

I just read a post from a woman in China asking about documentation. In reading it, it raised some quesitons I have. Nicole and I have been writing for over three months and if all goes well, I will travel to China in January or February. When we meet, things may work out or not (But I hope they do). We will probably go the Fiance Visa route. So when we meet and if we decide to get engaged do I bring a ring with me or what? I guess I should but it seems silly in a way to buy a ring when we have not even met. On the other hand, I just read a post where a lady was saying that Chinese customs stole some cookies. so how safe would a wring in the mail be??? If we meet and all goes well in January/February, I would plan to go back and visit in 4-6 months and then again when Nicole is ready to come to the USA. OK she is a grown lady but I would prefer to fly to China, so we could both see her parents and then she would be with me and not alone on the trip to the USA. so: Should I bring the ring with me, or Bring the ring on the second trip? or what do you suggest??? Again, I am new at this so be gentle. Thanks Lawrence

Good Luck!!!

OK I am a newbie here. What is a CR1???? Also, if you want to send a package to China, do you need the chinese address???? Thanks, Lawrence

So this is what I have to look forward to when I go to China??? Can any of this have a negative impact when I file for a K1 or K3??? I am wondering if you stand up to them, who will get the last laugh.

Wow, Congrats!!!! I learn new things everyday reading here. So much to learn.