phantom1949

Pinsleur has both English for Mandarin speaking people and Mandarin for English speak people. They are pretty good. You can probably try them out at your public library befor eyo ubuy them.

check out Broadvoice.com THAT SERVICE LOOKS GOOD. It seems that with each service you get benefits and also give up other benefits. The one beenfit of ITalkBb that is excellent is the phone number in China. I have called ITalkBB several times and I really feel that there customer service sucks!!! I even had the wifey call and talk to them in Chinese but, still they can't or want answer my questions. So I opt not to jack with them. I must be able to have incoming and out going faxes any time I need. As I work from home and faxes or a must And plus calling a local number is a pain in the behind, 90% of the time the local number your calling is always busy. We have a Chinese neighbor that has there service. I went to his home and tried his phone but was not impressed with what they have to offer. The line was not so clear on the three calls I made from his home "2 local calls and 1 long distance" a few times the line was busy but, when I dial the same number with my cell the line was not busy.. go figure!~! I feel they really need to take care of there customer service and have someone that can speak English and knows how to help someone when they call and ask for HELP. We may opt to have a second line just for the family to call us any time they need JMO Bobby.... Bobby: For incoming faxes I use www.K7.net. They give you a free fax number, but the area code is 206 not texas. When I am faxed, the fax is turned into an e-mail and the e-mail sent to me. I just open the e-mail and print the fax out, plus I get to save the fax encaser I need it later. Right now, I use Vonage and they allow me to fax out using my regular Vonage number. Lawrence

check out Broadvoice.com THAT SERVICE LOOKS GOOD. It seems that with each service you get benefits and also give up other benefits. The one beenfit of ITalkBb that is excellent is the phone number in China.

OK, I started looking at ITalkBB versus the Vonage I now have. With Vonage I will give up three nice features that ITalk BB does not have. If I am wrong, please let me know. Vonage has a simultaneous ring feature where a call will ring at the same time on my home number and on my cell phone. Yes ITalkBB has a call forwarding but it is not the same. Vonage has a Voice mail features that ItalkBB does not have. So if my internet service is down, all calls with Vonage go to a VM. With ITalkBB, the calls are lost. (maybe not if using the call forwarding feature of ITalkBB). Vonage has an E-mailing of VM's to my e-mail account but then ITALKBB Does not have VM. Vonage allows me to add extra (Ghost numbers) for about $5.00 per month and ITALKBB does not offer this feature. Of course ITalkBB does offer the free calling to China that trumps all other lost features. So who has switched from Vonage to ITALKBB? During the switch were you able to use your Vonage and ITALKBB equipment on the cable modem?? If you have a Linksys router for Vonage (As I do), can you use it also for ITalkBB as it accepts two numbers? If you switched from Vonage to ITALKBB and took your old Vonage number, how long did the switch take and how well did it go??? What else do I need to know???

Well what do you want broken???? I was just trying to being some reality to the discussion but feel free to live in a fantasy world. That's like claiming that we could all show our love for our country by paying extra taxes each year. I do, thank you, and I hope you do soon, also. Well that is a silly statement, as you all pay more taxes as our income rises, if we live in an apartment the rent goes up, if we own a home the real estate taxes go up, if we buy a car the prices seem to increase each year as does the cost of clothesm food,, travel, toys, vacations. So usin gyour logic we must love everybody and everyone has their hands in our pockets.. Randy, that is life, get use to it. Out of curiosity what is your reaction when the local government raises your real estate taxes every year? Do you declare independence from your county, send them a love letter or just pay it??? So lets get real. oop's sorry but I have to get back to work....

What you say makes total sense. I was just trying to get people to think about reality versus fantasy. There is no guarantee in life on anything except of course as they say death and taxes. Well for me it is just taxes as some will say I am too mean to die....... My purpose was to get people down to reality and to think with the head on their shoulders..... I have spoken to people here who have told me their logic was that they do not have much so they wanted to find someone who is poor in China so the person will be appy with whatever he can give them. But then that may or may not work either. Some talk of marrying a woman with a child so she will not leave him......all I can say is wow..... To purpose is to get people to think about what they are doing instead of living in a fantasy world and if things do not work out then complaining about the 864.. You are right, it is not perfect and is in part a crap shoot. But even so, if you approach it with a clear head instead of fantasy you will have more on your side. And be careful as some say if you go looking for red flags you will find them. I'd agree with you and prefer to say if you do not look for red flags, then they definitely will find you..... Again, I am not saying I know the right way but rather, I am questioning things and trying to get people to use their gray matter.

Well what do you want broken???? I was just trying to being some reality to the discussion but feel free to live in a fantasy world.

Yup, of course she is worth it. Also, it wasnt a question of too much, it was more like I had heard that the rate was increasing, and wondered if its true, and the date... I submit our 751 in just a month... so I call it a case of making sure. COOL!!!! My comments were more of a reality check for others....... I meant not disrespect but was just checking. It is amazing how people get defensive for the wrong reasons. When people say the cost of finding a foreigh partner is not relevant, it is amazing on how wrong and how defensive that is. Let's look at the process. A person cannot afford to take more then on trip to China. The man writes to a woman in China, and web cams to her. The man falls in love with a lady without ever meeting her!!! Then the man takes ONE trip to China, The FANTASY TRIO and both parties decide to get married or do the K1 process. Then there are no more trip - the guy cannot afford them. OK, now the lady comes to America and both lovers are living together. BUT THEY ARE STRANGERS. If they are LUCKY, and want to work things out, then great but if not, either the man or woman are unhappy or both and the relationship falls apart. I have been on this site only since what November or December. What has happened since then: 1. Scott or FC. Well Scott (who is a really nice guy) could not afford to get to know his SO and looked what happened. HE did not know her when he married her. People on this site who worked with Scott, said his ignored but knew he had problems before his SO ever got here. Scott has not admitted that but people who know him a lot better then I do have. 2. There was the woman who came here on a K1 VISA and while in China the man got her pregnant. Well she was here in the USA and had to get to married or her and her baby would be shipped back to CHINA. DID THEY KNOW EACH OTHER??? 3. There was the Chinese wife who was pregnant in December and had had two abortions and wanted this third child. The man told her to choose between him and the baby.... Did they know each other.... 4. There was the man who shot guns off in his house and somehow tried to justify it was not his fault....... Behind the scenes it was said he had a drinking problem. Did the wife know her husband and what problems he had? 5. There is the wife who came to the USA and was so absored in her future that she had no time for her new husband??? They had other issues that are not appropriate to discuss here. But they do not know each other. I have spoken to the husband and he is a really nice man and a professional and I hope things work out. But he is married to the woman of his dreams and they do not seem to know each other. Gosh (I'm allowed to say that as I live in Texas), there are a few other stories but why write a novel here. The point is that many here are marrying women who they do not know. Many men are not necessarily telling theith SO what their financial condition is and when the woman comes here she is shocked. Money does not make a good marriage. If the woman is marrying you for your money, well that's sex ofr money and not a relationship. But if the men here cannot AFFORD to really get to know their SO, then what is the difference between marrying A Stranger in China or going down to the local bar, getting drunk and waking up in the morning married with a stranger laying next to you? Either way you are marrying a stranger. The point I am trying to make is that if you want a relationship with a woman from China or any other country, you both really need to get to know each other. And with all due respect, Web Cams and E-mails is not the same as being with the woman for weeks on end on a regular basis. The point is to get to know your SO, I mean REALLY get to know her. And that takes more then one trip. Does she know that you have a mortgage on your house and that it will take 15-30 years to pay it off? In China the homes may cost less but the Chinese are acustomed to paying off their mortgages in a short period. This does matter to some SO's and maybe not to others. DO you want children and what does she want? I stopped talking to some women who said they wanted to have children and while I love children and would if an ACCIDENT happened while married would love the child, for planning purposes I do not want to plan having any more children (I have enough). What does your SO want? Do you know? Did you ask??? Someone on this site wrote that many chinese woman in this country want the man to be making $100,000+ so they look to China. When we saw with Scott, they his SO was not happy with his financial position and looked what happened. Are we open with the ladies we are talking to or do we lie by ommission? I'm in the early stages and when I question what people do, some will say maybe I should be be looking for a foreign wife. After thinking about it, I say I am interested in a foreign wife, but maybe there is a better way then what many are doing. Instead of living in a fantasy world after our fantasy trip, some reality is needed. One member who made the trips, was blasted here for being too choosy. But he is married to a beautiful an deducated Chinese lady and they are veyr happy (I know he is). I know another couple who spent a few years getting to know each other and they are both so deeply in love that it makes me smile to think of them (Bobby and Emma). It seems the people here who take the time and spend the money to really get to know their SO's end up with happy and loving relationships. I am not blasting anyone as the women seem to make the same mistakes and find they do not know the man they married. So, what is wrong with getting to know the lady you think you want to marry??? And getting to know someone costs money. If she is here, the cost is on dates and dinner and flowers, etc. If the woman is in China, the real cost is getting to know her and that means being by her side and her by your side. When I marry a Chinese Lady, I want to know her and for her to know me. I want to write (if I write here) abotu my love for her, and not pining about for the lady I did not marry...... I'm still trying to figure out that one (OK I will appologize for this comment in advance). I think many here fall in love not with a women, but with a fantasy dream, a fantasy trip and the process. And when they are finally together and find they married a stranger, then ......... We ignore what people should be looking at and focus on the fantasy. But the more I get to know people here, the happiest ones are those who enjoyed the fantasy but lived in reality....... I remember Don saying (I think it was Don) who spoke of spending time with his SO in China (more then one trip) but acting as he is and letting his wife know who she is marrying. Remember the fantasy trip is like a first date and past the sex, everyone is on their best behavior. Someone smarter then me needs to bring some reality to this process. We have discussions on the Forms and filing process, we have discussions on chinese culture and then silly stuff. but there are no discussions on getting to know your SO and for her to get to know you. Honesty in the relationship and knowing what is important to each person whether American or Chinese. Withour discussing the reality all we have is a dream. So costs and affordabiltiy in my mind do seem to apply. Well back to work........ This is just food for thought.

Yup, of course she is worth it. Also, it wasnt a question of too much, it was more like I had heard that the rate was increasing, and wondered if its true, and the date... I submit our 751 in just a month... so I call it a case of making sure. COOL!!!! My comments were more of a reality check for others....... I meant not disrespect but was just checking.

I am not directing this comment at anyone, but finding a SO overseas if done correctly is an expensive process, and getting to know someone correctly is an expensive process so doesn't this fall under that concept that if you have to ask or worry about it , YOU CAN"T AFFORD IT??? The more I read the more I find that the successful relationships are those where both parties took their time and got to know each other, had multiple trips (not just the fantasy trip) and really know who their partner is. The relationships that seem to fail (this is a generalization) are the ones where the parties talk for a few months, have one trip and live in a fantasy world until they start to live together and find that they do not know each other and do not necessary like each other. The costs and the trips are an investment in our future relationships. We need to treat them that way. If the fee is $250.00 and then goes to $450.00, is your SO less worth it as the cost goes up???? I hope each of our answers is our SO is worth whatever the cost is.

more good info to save

That's a shame.

Life is box of contradiction. I specifically didn't comment on mix-blood children above because it can get very touchy. I think in this regard, the Chinese are like everyone else in the world. When something good has been done by the mix blood person, the Chinese will claim that mix blood person to be Chinese. If something bad is done by the mix blood person, they will denounce the mix blood person as belonging to the other ethnicity/race. That's true - Look at Vietnam and the Ameri-asian children.....

I will leave commenting upon all your other questions to others but I would like to make a few remarks on this one. Many times, Asian cultures are pretty similar--at least as compared to western cultures--but on this aspect, the Chinese are distinctively different than the Japanese or Koreans. Both Japan and Korea think of Japanese Americans and Korean Americans respectively as not Japanese or Koreans. Generally speaking, they think less of them. You can read numerous articles on the plight of war babies (American GI sired children in Korea) and how they are generally shunned in Korea. Japan and Korea both think of ethnic Japanese and Koreans born abroad as outsiders, not true Japanese or Koreans. On the other hand, the Chinese generally consider all ethnic Chinese to be Chinese. They mostly embrace all ethnic Chinese people as Chinese and will forever think of them as Chinese, no matter if the Chinese is a Chinese American, Chinese Canadian or Chinese French. This is a distinctive difference between China and Japan/Korea. Even if the Chinese American is born in the US, if the person goes back to China for a visit, the Chinese people will consider this American as Chinese because that Chinese American is Chinese by blood and ethnicity. When I say Chinese above, I mean the culture and the people, not the Chinese government. Obviously the Chinese government doesn't consider Chinese Americans born in the US to be Chinese nationals. Of course this is a generalization. There will be some who may disagree, but this definitely holds true as a broad generalization. So how would the normal Chinese person view mixed Chinese children you think?. Would they view them as Chinese or mostly whatever other ethnic group they are ?. I'm asking you to speculate about the views of a billion people I know, its stupid but...I had to ask. I'm curious. I'm part Indian by birth(a very little bit) but enough to be a card carrying member of the Choctaw tribe(Oklahoma) but not considered Indian by most indians. Never been to a sweat lodge or an Indian school or know anything about the lanquage, don't look indian at all. You get the point. Most indians avoided being Indians whenever they could until about the 1960's. I can tell you some generalizations about them that have some validity good and bad. Some body asked why I even care about these questions or at least I think it was directed at me. I think these are valid questions to ask for anybody thinking about having a child with there chinese spouse. My question is why wouldn't you think about it ? There is this interesting book called YELL-oh girls by Vickie Nam. There are several Asian teen age women writing short essays about various things ,but some about there lives growing up and how they fit in this world and the other one across the sea. Lots of stuff in there I would have never thought of. I was thinking it would be neat to be a young kid right now with connections in China and America, just for the economic oppurtunities alone. 18 years from now this kid may try to make his way back to Asia. You never know. I met an American teenager who was graduating from high school this year. I think he was a WASP but had a wealthy family and had traveled the world. He seems ot have feel in love with China and been there a few itmes already. The world is shrinking. As for heritage, people seme to use it or forgetit based upon need or interest. A friend was part indian (I do not remember which tribe) but as her son was applying to Medical School he wanted every advantage and applied as an American Indian. My son who is up in the DC area jus tlet me know that he is joining some Jewish Study groups to get back into his heritage....

That's a pretty harsh generalization, Lawrence. Certainly some people who are prejudiced do hate those they prejudge as less worthy of their respect. On the other side of the spectrum there are those who simply haven't learned enough about people yet to overcome behavior they see going on around them or the natural human tendancy to be distrustful of the unknown or different. They are willing and open minded but just haven't learned yet. Then there is just about everything in between. I think we damage our society by throwing around words like "hate" too freely. We all have our prejudices, however small and however much we don't wish to have them or how successful we are at overcoming them. In my opinion, your statement above shows a prejudice against less informed often golden hearted people. Prejudice is not just about race. Or, perhaps you've learned something today that will help you overcome this prejudice? Duke, maybe I am wrong but people are not born being prejudice, they are taught it, whether by their parents or friends. But ifyou read up on prejudice it is not that some has not learned to be understanding, but rather they have been taught to feel this way. I have read many texts on prejudice and everything I have read says that prejudice is learned. So I do not see how you can saw what you do. Your reference to "hate" is what I called harsh. If you had said prejudice was learned and left it at that, I would have agreed wholeheartedly. Of course prejudice is a learned behavior. It is a "behavior", sometimes thought, sometimes action and sometimes both. Small children learn without judgment about what they learn. Later in life a child or adult can become better informed, use more mature judgment and change their behavior. Learning doesn't stop for most people. That's how I can say what I say. I also believe those who hold prejudice against people who haven't yet learned things can themselves learn enough to overcome THIS prejudice. That's where you come in. Not all prejudice is about race and its not all hate. Some is. Some isn't. Well we can agree in that.