phantom1949

Some hypathetical questions: 1. If wife leaves the USA to Visit China, is there any requirement to pay her anything while she is outsife of the USA??? 2. If she is served with Divorce papers while back in China, what are her rights here in the USA?? 3. If while SO is out of the country the proof is shown that she is a green card chase, who would you contact and why would they let her back into the country??? We have rights here but she is not a US citizen.... 4. If while she is in China, her return plane tickets are cancelled..... But I guess if she is going to China, probably one of her boy friends are going also and they would pay her return trip. A General Question: OK, the government makes us jump through hoops to bring someone here and to make sure the SO is coming for the right reasons. But once the SO is here, and turns out to be a green card chaser, they do not seem to care????? Can anyone explain this logic other then it's government???

Income earning potential of the beneficiary has little to do with K and CR visas, if any. What is important is the financial condition of the sponsor. If the sponsor's income is not sufficient, a joint sponor is needed to overcome the burden of proof. The beneficiary can NOT include any income or assets at the obtaining visa stage. Why? Because many professionals who are quite successful in China may have a very difficult time even finding a minimum wage job in the US. Their credentials and work history are essentially irrelevent at the visa stage. Their work history is important for security clearance reasons, though. If they worked at a nuclear research facility they may well end up getting a MANTIS clearance added to the normal clearances. I will agree that someone who has a successful working career will perhaps address the question of fraud. If they have a good life in China it is less likely they are entering into a marriage just for immigration benefit. However, this would simply be one factor in making that determination. I like your answer. It is too the point, and while I am no expert here, it makes total sense.

Your 100% right--you dont! How very mature of you. Criticizing someone in context and with content, personal or not is within the boundaries of legitimate debate (within reason). Taking something out of context in order put false words in their mouths is very immature and nothing more than juvenile flaming. (sorry to add to the crapfest but sometimes, the crap needs a little toilet paper and a good flushing.) I think we need a (very) special Mods attacking members forum. I think your right. You need to run a poll on it and then give it to "The Don"

Yes, I remember it is the question of : Do you belong to any professional groups. dui menas YES See I am learning something.

So when preparing the I-129 or the G-325 if she is a professional we should include that. Nicole is a CPA so it sounds like we should include a translated copy of her CPA certificate or License?? She is self employed also and owns her own home in Shenzhen so should any of that be included???

I'M JUST TAGGING ON HERE. I'm curious also.

I would hope that even if they wanted to curb the women leaving that they would not curb divorced women who are older as these women do not seem to be desirable in China. As for Chinese going back to China, well that is a fact of life. Engineering jobs are moving to China and India where they cost less. I assume that even with a lower salary in China, the engineers will have a more affluent life there. Maybe the issue is why do we train so many foreign nationals (and pay for it) so they cna leave and go back to some other country? Well unless the president allows us to set policy on forieng nationals being educated here, there is no sense in debating it.

So what Chinese DVD movies do you all recommend? Any in Chinese with english subtitles??? I am taking Mandarin lessons and listening to the language can only help. Plus a little culture can't hurt (too much)!!!

Well since you brought it up, in the Jewish faith, the biggest fear for the past 100 years was never being conquered but rather being assilimlated. I remember back in the 1970's being told by the Tenple that we needed to increase the size of our herd (their expression not mine).

Emma: Welcome. Bobby speaks so highly of you. You make him very happy. I'm in Austin so as was said by Texas standards we are all around the corner. Bobby and I connected today on Yahoo messenger so if your bored during the day IM me and say hello. Lawrence Paula: So what happened today with your son???? We all want to know.

I spend so much time here, but you all teach me so much.

Paula, I work in the healthfield for doctors practices and have been doing it for 30 years. $60.00 is nothing. Trust your husband and listen to him on this. As was said earlier here, certain exams and tests are preventative and to ensure good health and or to find problems early on. Now the real question is why is your husband letting someone else check your body??? oop's

She says Da means "big" and Bao means preciousness.....I have to laugh at introducing myself as "Big Preciousness"....although it humbles me to know she cares about me this much....I just can't say the name without breaking up into a big belly laugh.... "Big Respectful" or "Treasure" I could deal with..... Steve Just for clarification, when I file, do I have to eat Cheetos? (I was looking at your time line).

Paula: Thanks for the input. It is always good to hear the women's perspective.

Every day, after you are married. That test I am looking foreward to. I should be a labor of love.

David, this is really interesting. But I have one quesiton. Is there a test at the end???

Jim: Careful, don't let the longhorns see you posting A&M links!!! Only kidding. Actually my son told me I have to be a Gator, or as my son says, "Either your a Gator or Gator Bait".

The more I think about it, to me a PRe-Nup shows a lack of committment to the relationship. If there is a concern, get to know the lady better up front. Look for signs up front of problems. But when you ask her to marry you, it should be for life. In other words, do your up front due diligence. In retrospect my bad marriages had warning signs up front that I ignored. Be careful up front but when you commit, commit.

Only issue I have this this thought it that maybe it carries an assumption that the chinese lady even knows what a prenup is...and I'm not sure how mainstream an idea it is in china compared to the US. Some SOs we see on this board, as an example, have limited or no english.. not sure I could figure out how to explain the concept to my SO who speaks no english and has no concept of what it is or why it's used.. Dave, maybe you are right, but wouldn't that be his job to tell her or make sure she understands? Otherwise isn't that starting off on the wrong foot? It's all relative. Couldn;t your SO consider your asking for a pre-nup (when she undetands it) as your lack of committment to her, to the relationship, and to a future if you do not trust her? On the other hand these relationships like anyothers can go bad. I have thought about this for a while and do not think it would work for me. For me it would be starting out on the wrong foot. But that's just my opinion. Marriage is about trust and what does a Pre-Nup say about trust to your SO. IMHO

I have come to the same conclusion. I think the key is looking for the right woman and making a committment. My SO if things work out will be giving up up life in China, giving up her friends, her family and come to a strange country, different and hard language, new customs. She is giving up everything for the guy she is marrying. Having had some experience in relationships (that's not bragging but I am not 21 anymore) in retrospect I say signs of problems in the women I married in the past (that is plural and not proud of it) but I ignored them. Yes there are Chinese women who only want a green card and money, but if you looks for the signs of problems and don't ignore them, then the issue is to work for the best. As for where to live, my SO and I already spoke about that. If we want to be together and she is not comfortable in the good old USA, then we could retire in China. I grew up in New York City but have no problems with the simplier life. That's assumming I can bring my Cruiser with me.......... A cross country, corss culture and cross language relationship means to be successful both need to make it work, and both need to be committed. I am not trying to cause a big issue or raise red flags but by asking the questions, and hearing others responses, it helps me think things through. My approach is and will be to watch for red flags but work for the best. Assume nothing and talk about everything (I will get extra batteries for the language translator). I prefer positive planning as opposed to negative planning, I mean no disrespect to attorneys but I asked my attorney years ago why he does not disagree with me more and why is he so positive on deals we would work on. His response was that 80% of attorneys are deal breakers NOT deal makers. With his positive attitude we did very well. I prefer to enter into s relationship with my eyes open and with a positive (we will make it work) attitude. I am already starting to learn Mandarin and will meet my SO at least 50% of the way (or as much as it takes to make it work). Thanks Everyone!!!!!

These are not necessary concerns as more questions. I agree with everything you said. To me a pre-nup is planning to divorce before you even get married. It shows a lack of committment, etc. I think that the advise many give of keeping your feet on the ground and staying in touch with reality is the best advise. For those of us who have been divorced, we can look back and in retrospect saw problems while dating that we ignored and should not have. Someone suggested in another post to discuss a pre-nup and it just made me think. I was wondering how the Chinese ladies would respond to a man asking for a Pre-Nup? How would it be precieved from a cultural aspect? Would your SO consider it "Practical" or insultng? I realize it cannot effect the 864, but some have a lot more more to loose then $1,000.00 per month (although if that is for life it is still a bog expenditure). A side question on the 864. OK, you end up with a divorce and are on the hook for the $1,000.00 per month for life, what happens when you die?? Upon death is your estate liable for the 864 or does the 864 liability end at your death?? I am not suggesting that death is a way to get out of the 864 (poor tax planning if you ask me), just curious. While I ask these questions, my approach will be to keep my eyes open, both feet on the ground and keep in touch with reality. But when I marry it will be with the committment to make the marriage work and not to plan for a divorce (be careful what you plan for as you may get it!!!).

I have very mixed feelings on this topic but wanted everyones thoughts. I believe that when a man and women decide to share their lives together, then it is forever and so a Pre-Nup is not needed. But then there is reality. Most of us have been divorced and know how expensive it can be in time, money and heartache. We have all read posts here about women wanting to marry an American to come here and get a green card. I married an Asian woman 7 years ago who was wonderful and I was deeply in love with her. It didn't work between us as she did like dating other men. Reality it when you meet someone from China (or anyother place or even here in America), unless you are living with them or see them on a regular basis you know what your SO says but not what she really wants (I am generaling here and mean no disrespect to anyone). If I were wrong here, then the members whose SO cheated on them or just wanted a green card would not of happened. The Asian lady I was in love with 7 years ago lived in LA and I lived in Florida. We spoke on the phone for hours every day, we each wrote these long e-mail's and constantly IM'd each other. We would fly to see each other for 2-3 weeks at a time and spent 24 hours a day together during those fantasy trips. When we were dating, all she spoke about was wanting a man who would not cheat on her as all her past men did. She told me how much it hurt when these men cheated on her. Sounded great and we had a great time together and I thought I had finally found my partner in life. We got married in Las Vegas and I moved her and her children to Florida. I was so happy. It seemed that when she entered the room, the room was brighter. The second night after she had moved in, we were going to sleep and she rolled over and told me that she wanted me to be happy. SO, if I wanted to date other women it was OK with her. Well from there it only got worse and 15 months later after numerous go rounds on her Male Friends approach to life we were divorced and she went home to LA. I am sure DavidZ will correct me but it seems that Americans live in s dream world when it comes to relationships and Chinese live in the practical world. Visits to China (the fantasy trips), and phone calls, and e-mails and Web Cams are great but we are still marrying a woman we really do not know and will not know until we are married. If they are sincere and you both want to make it work, then you lucked out. Now I am not knocking anyone here, as I am here and in the process also of meeting someone. I can tell you all the reasons that Nicole is different and special and is interested in me not the money (I am not rich or poor-sort of like my politics - middle of the road). While we all (including me) think otherwise, we are in essence marrying someone we do not know. Many tell me to keep my feet on the ground and stay in touch with reality. In one of my other posts, someone mentioned to get a Pre-Nup and it started me thinking about it. I have no conclusion on this. I do not like the idea of a Pre-Nup but since we are in essence marrying someone we really do not know, do we need this kind of protection? As some have or will find out a divorce is expensive. Is a Pre-Nup in the Chinese culture considered normal or an insult? How would a Chinese Lady respond to a Pre-Nup? Is this over-reaction to being protected? So, ladies and gentlemen, what are your thoughts???? I am very interested in hearing what the ladies on this site think of a Pre-Nup.

What about foreign licenses? Is there any reciprocity between China and the USA? For example, attorneys, CPA's and Physicians or nurses?? I know we have a shortageof RN's here in the USA.

Many foreign nationals go to our universities so foreign credit must be given.

I guess I have always been wrong. I thought the two words to a successful marriage are "Yes Dear" not "Whatever Dear". I will have to ponder this change... I know you sound frustrated but family is family so get use to it.