Chinese yearn to marry foreigners-Survey

[John & Hai Yan]

Chinese yearn to marry foreigners: survey

 

Thu Mar 31,10:57 AM ET

 

 

BEIJING (AFP) - Nearly 63 percent of Chinese citizens would like to marry a foreigner, according to a survey of contemporary Chinese attitudes towards international marriage.

 

 

AFP/File Photo

 

 

 

The survey by Chinese web portal sina.com showed 62.7 percent of the 10,381 people questioned favoured marrying someone other than a fellow citizen.

 

 

It did not set out the reasons why, although 12.78 percent of respondants said they felt Chinese "worshipped" foreigners and their lifestyle.

 

 

About 75 percent said that cultural differences would be their biggest concern when considering such a marriage.

 

 

"Every international marriage is challenged by cultural and language differences," Chen Guangyao, an official with the Ministry of Civil Affairs, was cited as saying by the Beijing Morning Post.

 

 

"Whether it succeeds or not depends to what extent the bride and groom are ready to handle these differences."

 

 

International marriages in China have experienced two distinct periods.

 

 

In the 1980s and 1990s some Chinese people married primarily for convenience, either to get visas for overseas studies or to be able to move to a foreign country.

 

 

But since the turn of the century, such marriages were more likely to be based on love, said Chen.

 

 

Marrying a foreigner is no guarantee of long-lasting happiness, said the paper, citing a separate survey showing that international marriages tend to have high divorce rates.

 

 

The survey by the Shanghai municipal government showed 60 percent of marriages between Chinese and Canadians failed.

 

http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=stor...ly_050331155729

[kfman]

Amazing what happens when people yearn for and get to taste freedom of choice and expression.....

 

Thank GOD for the internet I say...

 

[Trigg]

Amazing what happens when people yearn for and get to taste freedom of choice and expression.....

 

Thank GOD for the internet I say...

 

I doubt that has much to do with it. I think more like Amazing what happens when people yearn for love and respect--somehting they perhaps didn't get in there own country.

[frank1538]

Amazing what happens when people yearn for and get to taste freedom of choice and expression.....

 

Thank GOD for the internet I say...

 

I doubt that has much to do with it. I think more like Amazing what happens when people yearn for love and respect--somehting they perhaps didn't get in there own country.

I can't help but think that it's a little of both. The internet has expanded the horizons of many people to be sure, and sometimes what's "over there" looks pretty good, whether it be lifestyle, opportunity, or freedom of expression. I also think that this new portal to the West has led many Chinese people and Chinese women in particular to question traditional roles played by men and women in the country when they see that equality between the sexes, at least in theory, may be preferable to a "second class" position in China.

[Dan R]

I read the article and thought that is an interesting comment on how quickly China has changed from isolationism. I wonder what the same poll would say about Americans. I doubt there would be 40% that would marry a foreigner, particularly one of a different religion. Mmmm guess it takes Americans longer to change.

[C4Racer]

Amazing what happens when people yearn for and get to taste freedom of choice and expression.....

 

Thank GOD for the internet I say...

 

I doubt that has much to do with it. I think more like Amazing what happens when people yearn for love and respect--somehting they perhaps didn't get in there own country.

Although it has a little to do with both, I must agree with Trigg that this is the main driving reason behind their decision. If they were treated with Love and respect, I must believe that they would be happy getting married to someone in their own country. A foreign marriage means they leave their home and family, everything they have ever known in thier whole life to something new and not yet completely known.

 

My wife tells me her main reason is that Chinese man is a bad man. He does not respect the lady he marries. Often he will go outside of the home for fun and leave her alone at home. He will find a different younger woman to share his fun. He tells everyone outside of home he is single.

 

She was very happy to see I take her with me everywhere I go, except of course work.

[rogerluli]

I read the article and thought that is an interesting comment on how quickly China has changed from isolationism.  I wonder what the same poll would say about Americans.  I doubt there would be 40% that would marry a foreigner, particularly one of a different religion. Mmmm guess it takes Americans longer to change.

You've included the 2 worst curses mankind has developed for himself Dan-religion and nationalism. And those are the 2 largest pillars of the American psyche. From my experience there are many different things causing Chinese to look elsewhere and for us to look there. This is a very big topic.

[BuffaloPaul]

My wife tells me her main reason is that Chinese man is a bad man. He does not respect the lady he marries. Often he will go outside of the home for fun and leave her alone at home. He will find a different younger woman to share his fun. He tells everyone outside of home he is single.

 

She was very happy to see I take her with me everywhere I go, except of course work.

I was told this exact same reason Jenny was looking for an American. Seems to think that American men tell their wives "I love you" every day

 

Better not disappoint her

[Jim - Portland, USA]

My wife tells me her main reason is that Chinese man is a bad man. He does not respect the lady he marries. Often he will go outside of the home for fun and leave her alone at home. He will find a different younger woman to share his fun. He tells everyone outside of home he is single.

Yes, that what I hear from Juxin a lot too ... many Chinese men who are unfaithful, unappreciative, unloving, and pretty much pretend as if they aren't married even after they are. She's gone on and on many times about how the typical Chinese man has many extra-marital affairs, stay away from home for long periods of time (with their newest and youngest girlfriend). And oftentime they don't even do it secrety or discretely. They sometimes won't even try to hide anything. No wonder that Chinese women are fed up with being treated like that. Juxin says even many of her friends really don't want to marry a Chinese man. They'd rather marry any man than a Chinese man. So I can understand why Chinese women like the idea of marrying a foreinger.

 

I wonder how many males this survey included? Do the same percentage of Chinese males want to marry a foreinger as do Chinese females?

 

Disclaimer, disclaimer "not all Chinese husbands are like that", "can't judge them alll based on only 90% of the population", "it's not good to stereotype", blah, blah all that PC junk.

[eeyore]

But since the turn of the century, such marriages were more likely to be based on love, said Chen.

 

 

Sweet, that is my case.

 

[Cody]

"many Chinese men who are unfaithful, unappreciative, unloving... No wonder that Chinese women are fed up with being treated like that."

 

It's funny that you bring this up. Because most American women shun guys who are too faithful, appreciative, and loving. In America, the nice guys finish last.

 

I was once a nice guy who got stepped on and rejected. So I learned to act like a jerk and my success skyrocketed. However, pretending to be a jerk was hard work... it just wasn't me. So when it came time to find a real wife, I needed to look for someone who would appreciate a nice guy. I found her in China.

[kfman]

Amazing what happens when people yearn for and get to taste freedom of choice and expression.....

 

Thank GOD for the internet I say...

 

I doubt that has much to do with it. I think more like Amazing what happens when people yearn for love and respect--somehting they perhaps didn't get in there own country.

I can't help but think that it's a little of both. The internet has expanded the horizons of many people to be sure, and sometimes what's "over there" looks pretty good, whether it be lifestyle, opportunity, or freedom of expression. I also think that this new portal to the West has led many Chinese people and Chinese women in particular to question traditional roles played by men and women in the country when they see that equality between the sexes, at least in theory, may be preferable to a "second class" position in China.

Frank, I think you said what I meant a little better. I was only referring to freedom to seek and look other places... like the internet. This day and age it is growing and becoming less stigmatized, and more of an accepted way to meet.

 

Im not much for words I think... just the thought.

 

[Carl]

My wife tells me her main reason is that Chinese man is a bad man. He does not respect the lady he marries. Often he will go outside of the home for fun and leave her alone at home. He will find a different younger woman to share his fun. He tells everyone outside of home he is single.

Ying has said the same thing to me, but more important to her is the fact that I try to put her first in everything I do and pay attention to her. She appreciates that I am more of a loving and caring husband than her EX.

 

On my last night in her home city a GF of hers invited us out to dinner. After we finished eating the GF's husband picked us up and took us to a nightclub. There I almost constantly had my arm around her, held her hand or was kissing her. Her GF looked at her and said, "I jealous of you." Then she turned to her husband (He is a good husband and my wife likes him), slapped him on the thigh saying, "Why you no do that?"

 

We all had a good laugh, I could tell I made an impression on everybody there, but honestly I only had eyes for my wife.

[ptcrusier333rph]

last few year we been becoming more a isolated country not wanting people to immigrate here

 

what irk me is hering people say why don't they come here legal, they should look at the process 1 to 2 years

 

robert

[oregonknl]

Humm...

 

A few caviats on the 62.7% thing .... My impression is that Sina.com has its member base in the big three: Shanghai, Guangzhou, and particularly in the Beijing area.... all perhaps the most cosmopolitan areas of China....

 

... Bet if you get in the rural areas ---- (and lets remember: vast majority of Chinese are not yet internet connected -- even to the censored verson) --- the old traditions are alive and well....... just remember how fond and friendly the Chinese can be to your SO and you walking down the street, holding hands .... Anytown PRC~!

 

Having said that, yeah I'll throw my hat in --- I also have heard --- many times in China --- from Chinese women --- what AHs Chinese men can be to their wives..... Chinse men are certainly the most powerful Secret Weapon we Amercan men have at our disposal!!

 

..... In Fei's case, her first husband was not what I would call a hard act to follow ---- he simply abandoned her, immigrated to Canada, leaving her to decided when, (and how) to divorce...