What To Do with SO While Apart ?

[Mark62]

Hi All,

 

I was wondering what activities you do with your SO while apart and waiting. Do you play a game over email or phone, what can be talked about, do you build something together. After exchanging 1400 emails help me with some ideas, and for others. Thanks.

[eeyore]

Hi All,

 

I was wondering what activities you do with your SO while apart and waiting.  Do you play a game over email or phone, what can be talked about, do you build something together.  After exchanging 1400 emails help me with some ideas, and for others.  Thanks.

I spend a lot of time talking on the phone and sending e-mails back and forth. My lao po and I spend time on cfl together too.

 

Some here eat a lot of cheetos to pass time while waiting and one cfl member in particular spends time, um...................tending sheep.

[Feathers268]

Scream at the walls, throw temper tantrums...

Recently I started taking pictures of what ever I do at work or places I have been and send them to her. Jennifer has really liked being able to be introduced to CA though pictures.

[Robert S.]

My wife and I talked endlessly about food during the 19 months of waiting for her visa and we talked about the differences between the two countries. With the language barrier it was difficult to come up with subject matter so I know where you are coming from.

 

Something I wished we could have talked about a lot more was the movie "Gone With the Wind" which we watched together in China, in black and white, dubbed in Chinese. What a strange trip that was. But she just did not have the vocabulary to discuss it very much.

[ed and ying]

We rarely exchange emails anymore - maybe exchange some e-cards or photos a few times a month. Now we primarily communicate by phone, 2 hours a day. Ying does self-study English almost everyday, so some of the time is used to review her lessons. The rest seems to go towards what we will do on my next visit, our relationship, our plans for the future, etc.

[jtaylo69]

Oh, the wonderful world of the internet. Without it these days, some guys would go hungry or go crazy. LOL

 

We have found that with the Play Station, we both are able to connect together & play various video games. During the games, we will use Yahoo Messenger's Web Cam & Voice features to enjoy the others reaction to the game, but we also us this time to talk about our day.

 

How was your day? What did you do? You ate what? Wheeeew glad Im not there to experiance the end resaults, as that has got to stink. and OMG, is that a Miata trying to come out your but or are you breading giant misquitos over there? etc

 

We have a ball. We leave our computers on 24 / 7. We have set up a series of web cams throughout our homes, (Yes, even in the bath room, No, Just the shower & tub areas) it is almost like the other is right here beside us.

 

Basicly, let your mind run with Ideas. Do not be afraid as to what others might think or feel. This is your SO, not theirs. What the 2 of you come up with can only help to bring you both closer together. Not to mention, help to save you the issues later that normally comes out in a relationship, "What, I can not believe you like to do that crap" etc. The more the 2 of you do together now, the better prepared the both of you will be when you are actually living together. Also, it is this time to help you to truely decide, if this is the right SO for you.

 

So go ahead, live a little and just have fun. Before you know it they will be right there beside you making you wished that you didn't move the covers

[frank1538]

Webcams are a godsend. Jingwen and I were on-line at least twice a day for hours on end, chatting about the wait, the forms, the house, food, music - you name it, we talked about it. The webcams gave her an opportunity to see her new home, the yard, the car, watch me cook, etc.

 

I used translation software a lot during the waiting months. As many of you know, translation software is not the most reliable, and this made for some fun times. The translation that I particularly liked was in describing the slowness of GZ. I forget the exact words I used, but invariably the translation kept coming out "bird brain" which I guess is an apt description of how some people over there act.

 

Of course, there's always Cheetos to help pass the time.

[pkfops]

Emails and a weekly phone call.

 

Visit China every six to eight months.

 

We both work hard and save money.

[philb]

Ed & Mark:

 

Find guys with like timelines and hope that all is moving smoothly for all of us!

 

Webcam...however, bathroom stuff is out... I happened upon a "traditional" women...oh well.

 

Save that money for trips to China...every 4-5 months is my limit. This next trip I am bringing my two children (18 & 17) with me to meet the family and experience this wildly different country and it's people. I also figure that group photos with BOTH families together can't hurt at the interview.

 

Possibly we will all be in GuangZhou together and bring home early Christmas presents.

 

Phil & Yun

[kfman]

We call and wake each other up every day, talk mutiple times to each other, use webcams to watch each other. We dont do much snail mail, however, we have sent each other cards. I did not think of doing the big brother cams in each room though.. hmmm....

[Carl]

I talk to my Ying every day she is home on SKYPE. We also both use a webcam so we can see each other. We talk about our days. She also teaches English in a school nearby. Whwn we talk I help her with pronounciation. We exchange news we read on both here and on 001. On days she is not online or she is at her parents house I am totally lost.

 

But in the meantime I work, surf the web, talk to her daily and in the long run have absolutely no life.

[resp]

We played many games over the Internet.

We also had webcams setup throughout the house and our offices.

She would watch me cook, clean, work and even sleep.

It was fun and I think it brought us closer .

Terrence

[MRMC]

I agree that telephone AND webcam are great. Get cams and you can even use yahoo and MSN for free. If you both have broadband you can talk real time. See if the cam has a mic or get a mic. Honestly, with a webcam and mic it is the next best thing to being there.

[PJ]

Yahoo! Towers. We played tons of Yahoo! Towers together. We'd team up against other pairs.

 

http://games.yahoo.com/yt

 

I had finally achieved 1800 points and orange status right before Candy came over. Since then we really haven't played.

 

P.J.

[laomai]

Right now my SO and I are together, but we spent a looong time apart while dating and will probably have to spend another 6 months apart in the near future. I second many of the ideas above, webcams especially. I remember the first time she used a webcam while we were chatting on MSN. I was so happy to see her face that I about died.

 

If your SO is creative like mine, a good thing to do is to make something for each other. We would set parameters about what you could use in the construction. For instance, once the rule was that you could only use string, paper, and one button to make something. It's pretty fun if you like that sort of thing, and it's also a way to do something nice for your SO even when you want to take a break from conversation.

 

Sometimes, we would even take walks "together." First we'd meet on MSN and then we'd pick a length of time for the walk, maybe 30 or 60 minutes. Then we'd go out and walk around for the set amount of time, she in China, and I in Indiana. When we got back, we'd tell each other about what we'd seen. Again, it was a nice way to feel together while taking still a short break from conversation, and for two observant people like us, we always had incredibly long conversations after we got back home, detailing what we'd seen, heard, felt, etc.

 

We all know email, IM, and phone conversations are great. But, as some of us have mentioned above, conversation can be tiring/difficult for Chinese-US couples, particularly for the one who isn't using his/her native language. I think ideas like those I shared above can alleviate some of that and spark more conversation later on.