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engagement ring


Guest jade_yan

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Hey! there is no such tradition in China until recently! Why are we spending all this money???? Just kidding honey!!!! Besides, size doesn't matter? Right???

 

 

OK, seriously, first determine how much you want to spend on the ring. Then decide on quality vs. quantity. For example, one can buy a very big 1+ carat ring that has some flaws in color, clarity, cut, etc. Or one spend the same amount and get a smaller diamond that is of higher quality. I think it is always better to favor quality over size but that is a personal preference. Another thing to consider is the size of your girl. If she is petite, then some huge diamond on her hand may look kind of out of place. Next, shop the price hard. I found that the "Mall" diamond merchants were largely price fixing - there was almost no variation from one store to another. I did find a small jeweler away from the Mall who gave me a lot more value for the dollar.

 

One more thing - don't buy into any formula for determining how much your love is worth. To suggest that if you really love your wife you'll spend 2 months of salary on her ring is just a sales trick, nothing more. Only you can determine what price you can afford.

 

Lastly, the setting can easily be changed for another. 90-95% of the expense is the diamond itself.

Good luck!

dave

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Guest blsqueaky

Well I remember that years ago I met a lady from China, and we got engaged, and she told me that she would not settle for less that 1/2 crt. I guess to her that it meant more to her than just what our feeling meant. She also said the size matters. Well needless to say, we are not longer together.

 

Like Dave said, measure what your love is worth. My wife tells me that just what I bought is just great. When she gets here, I told her that we will shop for maybe a larger ring, and I was told NO, the one that she has has many memories, and to me, that is more important. This was the ones that we exchanged on our wedding day, in front of family, and later in front of friends. Now this is one heck of a lady. :angry: ;) :lol: :P

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This is one of the problems that we had that I had about forgotten about. The ring sizing when your sweety is in China is a real headache. I even tried to enlist the help of her brother (who introduced us) since he is working in the US, but we still ended up with an oversized ring. Better than too small. BTW, a good jeweler can

 

My wife is still from the more traditional Chinese culture of not expecting a ring so the rather large diamond was a real thrill to her. She still only wears it occassionally though as she is afraid of someone "mugging" her to steal it. Remember again that she grew up in an era when any display of having more or being of higher status was dangerous.

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My fiancee didn't want a diamond. she said diamonds are no good in China, and most woman don't wear diamonds (I don't think either one of us could tell a real diamond from a man-made one). We spent hours shopping for a gold ring. It wasn't very expensive.

 

jimb

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For what it's worth.....

 

Diamonds are important in the US culture. A precious, beautiful stone that endures the test of time. It symbolizes our feelings for our love for another. When Jing Mei and talked about "our engagement," she new of basic Western traditions and was excited about having a ring. Once she had it, I had to explain what everything symbolized. She was really touched by it all.

 

I tend to be very traditional. Maybe I'm stubborn, but it's important to do things right. When my ex and I married, we bought a .40 ct ring. Huge for a 21 year old in his Junior year of college. After we divorced, I met someone else. She seemed like the real deal, until.....but that's another story. I got her a 1.11 ct stone with incredible clarity, quality and color (nearly perfect). When that relationship died a quick death, I swore if I ever fell in love again, it would be my last try and that this person would deserve a ring that was even better in the spirit of the tradition I set forth for myself. (Ironically, I tried to sell that stone three times. Each time, the couple who bought it broke up soon after. That stone was cursed!)

 

When I met Jing Mei, she deserved the best stone I could find. I traded in the failed stone for something out of this world. When she saw it, her face looked like :blink: . The ring has so much meaning for me, her and most importantly, for us.

 

Because diamonds aren't the tradition in China, she wants to design my ring using jade. I think our different stones are the perfect union of East and West, just as I hope our marriage will be.

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Oh boy, this topic brings back some memories. :( My wife was here on a business trip just 3 weeks after my divorce was finalized, so we decided to get married. We had 6 days to find the perfect wedding rings and engagement rings. We found 2 nice wedding bands of white gold, but could not find an engagement ring that suited our bands. In comes my mother.....she had my great grandmothers engagement ring, which just so happened to be white gold and a perfect fit for my wifes finger. We both took this as a good omen and decided that the engagement ring was the one we wanted. My greatgrandfather, who bought the ring, is the man I was named after, since I was born on the same day he was....yea, good sign :(

 

-Tim

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when you talk about the "appropriate size of the diamond," you tell your man, "Big as a house and bright as the sun!!!!"  Tee hee........make him sweat a little.

Hey Dave, I think I may use it one day...haha... :angry: :P

 

Maggie

I've read your postings. You are worth that and more. GO FOR IT!!!! Make your man work for you.....and more! Just don't give him my address. Tee hee.........

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My honey has seemed reluctant in discussions of engagement rings. 

 

What is the Chinese custom for an engagement?

 

From my experience with Chinese women (I own a company that is about 70% Chinese women) my first reaction to your first statement is, just because she's reluctant to discuss it DOES NOT mean she doesn't want one. In fact, the opposite is just as likely to be true. I think it's very Chinese to be very deferring when it comes to receiving gifts. The larger the gift, the more deferring the response.

 

With my wife, we had that conversation. I said I noticed that not many Chinese married women wore wedding rings and I was wondering if she would like to exchange rings. Of course she said, "No."

 

Later, as I was pondering the exchange, I thought to myself, "If she really didn't want a ring she would have discussed the topic more easily and freely." But her response was very short and then she didn't want to talk about it. That made me decide she REALLY DID want a ring. On my next trip I arrived with a beautiful ring which she totally adores. In fact, she's kind of annoyed right now because she's put on some fat from being pregnant and can't wear the ring.

 

In America we get used to accepting people at the actual words they use (i.e., "Would you like a Coke?"... "No, I wouldn't" ...just doesn't mean the same in China. In China you end up with a Coke.). I suggest you don't listen to the words. Listen what's behind the words.

 

As for Chinese engagement customs, you got me there. I don't know.

 

For what its worth, that your honey is reluctant to discuss it is a good sign that you've met a very sweet woman. :angry:

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