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My story long in coming and long in text.

amberjack1234

By amberjack1234,
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amberjack1234

amberjack1234

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Well I guess that it is finally my turn at the plate I don¡¯t know if my story will interest anyone or not but my story is different than most here. Several people criticize some of us old timers that don¡¯t post so I have made it so now. Bare with me as I had to tell it all at one while I was in the mood. If you get tired of it you don¡¯t have to finish it or even read such a long story I wouldn¡¯t blame you either way . Two members here know part of my story already, Dennis123 and SirLancelot. They encouraged me to tell it so here it is. Perhaps in some small way it will instill hope that there can be happiness after some pretty terrible pitfalls in life.

 

In April 1998 I retired from a pretty good government job as a GS-14, had a little money in the bank with plans to buy a motor home and do a lot of traveling as my then wife of 25 years loved to travel. In October 98 we set out on a trip across the US for 30 days to see if we would like the traveling that much. As we live in North Carolina we took Interstate and headed west. Atlanta Ga., Jackson Miss., San Antonio, Tex, Laredo Tex., Tucson Az. Nogales Mexico, Grand Canyon Az, Las Vegas Nv Los Angeles Ca., San Francisco Ca., Little Rock Ark., Memphis and all points in between that interested us just taking our time and having the time of our lives.

 

On the way back home during the last week of our adventure my wife said that she was so tired that she did not think that she could go on at times. I just thought that it was just a process of getting use to our excursion.

 

Once we arrived back at home she remained tired for about a month but eventually recovered. Then on a cool day in the first week of March we were working outside on a little project and she became overly tired again. I encouraged her to let me take her to the doctor and she refused but later that night she relented as she became worse. The next day we went to the doctor. He was immediately suspicious and sent her for a barrage of test. The outcome was two cancers colon, seven cancers in her liver and one in her lung. He gave her 30 days. We both were devastated to say the least. After doing much research on the net we found a Cancer Therapy Center in San Antonio Texas. The Marion Grossman Center. A Phase I, II, III Clinic. We knew that they could not save her as she had only a 5 % chance of survival but I wanted her to have as little difficulty as possible on this last now terrible journey.

 

We stayed there for 3 months and she received CPT 11 Chemotherapy treatment until she thought that she was getting so weak that she wanted to return to our home to die. This was in the first week of July 1999.

 

Once we arrived home we found out that one of the developers of CPT 11 practiced right in our hometown. We went to him and continued her treatment. I was trained in Texas to give her special medical care as I was an EMT for 25 years and a Paramedic for 3 years. Once here the doctor had a fit. He said: ¡°Do you want me to lose my license if I allow you to do these things that you would normally have to have 2 years of training I will be disbarred¡±. I explained that in Texas they were more concerned about the care, dignity and respect of the patient that they were of the law. And in taking care of terminal patients special allowances were given to family members so as to allow the patients to have as high quality of life as possible. On the next visit he told me that he had thought about it for quite some time and decided to allow me to give her the care and treatment that I had been providing for her. One of his nurses was very upset by this and quipped to me one day that she had to go to school for 2 years to be able to do for my wife what I was doing. We just kind of avoided her after that there were other kind nurses that did not object and was all for it.

 

Her treatment went on until December 26 and we were told that the cancers were growing again and she made the decision to stop the Chemotherapy at this point as it had desecrated her and she was tired of it. She loved me so much that she said that the worst part of her dieing was knowing that I would be left alone. I stayed by her side every minute of the day and night and I mean every minute of the day and night. In the last few hours of her life she awoke me about 2 AM and told me that she was ready to go. I told her that she had fought a good fight and that it was alright to go. I ask her out of curiosity as she was a Christian if she had seen Heaven or Jesus. She put a big ole smile on her face and said that he was standing right at the foot of bed waiting for her. I told her that she could go with him at anytime that I would stay right there and hold her hand just as I had promised her. With that there was one of the biggest claps lightening and thunder outside that I had ever heard and she took two deep breaths and was gone. Now this little cloud only lasted for 5 minutes and was completely gone. I can tell you that I have never been much of a Christian but I was truly dumfounded and touched by all of this.

 

At the end of her illness she told me that she wanted me to get on the internet and find someone for me to be with that she did not want me to be alone in live. Of course I could not do that. I never wanted anyone else again.

 

After she was gone I sat around the house and grieved and grieved. She had told me that after she was gone that she wanted me to get out of the house for a month or two and travel some. One day I was just setting around and I remembered my promise to her. I decided that it was time to keep this one last request of me my wonderful wife of 25 years. I went to a local travel agency and checked into the possibility of taking a trip to China. I had always wanted to go to China ever since the 8th grade. It was possible on what money that I had left but just barely. She made me promise to save enough money to do this one lass thing. I think that I had $5,000. So got the passport, visa and off I go. Everyone thought that I had gone crazy going to China and especially by myself after all they are communist over there you know as most of my friends and relative told me. My doctor even told me that he thought that I was being very foolish but if I got into trouble over there he would come and try to get me out. I was very surprised about this as he is from Syria himself.

 

I did not let any of this deter me as I had made this one last promise you see and I was going to keep it and I had decided that China was where I wanted to go but you know that it did not bother me until I got to the Beijing Airport and saw all of the green uniforms everywhere and it hit home that perhaps I had indeed made a mistake.

 

I gathered my courage ( you have to understand that this old county boy had never been out of the United States except to Mexico and Canada) and went on and got my luggage, went to the Holiday Inn Lido where I stayed for the next 30 days. Oh I did the usual things Forbidden City, Temple of Heaven, Tiananmen Square, Summer Palace. I was having a wonderful time but sometime a little difficult at time as I would think what a wonderful time my wife and I could have had here but tried to put it out of my head as I had promised that I would. I did not go to any other cities as I did not know even one single word of Chinese. I can tell you that I had a wonderful time and fell in love with China. Of course I knew that there were problems here but overall I loved it.

 

Now it was time for me to return to reality and I didn¡¯t know what else the future would have in store for me.

 

At this time I had $1,500 left and a total of $70,000 in medical bills waiting for me when I returned. So I resolved to return and buckle down and spend the rest of my life paying off these bills. By-the-way I did not regret spending one dime of this money on her treatment and would do it again. Her total treatment and care was $320,000. but it bought her about 14 months of time together and worth every penny to me.

 

Once on the 747-400 I sat in seat A it turns out that no one was assigned to seat B. In seat C was a lively young Chinese girl. Of course the flight to San Francisco was 13 hours and I spoke to the young girl but had no real intention of making conversation with her beyond that. After several hours we did in fact start talking to each other as her English was better than my hillbilly English was. I told her of my excursion to China and she told me of her trip to America. She was traveling to Salt Lake City Utah on a business trip to one of her customers businesses. I am sorry but I am still not at liberty to divulge much more than that about her business. She is a very personal type of person and that was her business not mine so I must respect that. I could sympathize with her being apprehensive being alone and in a strange country I felt a little sorry for her. Her first trip on a B-1 visa. She had a multiple entry via as well as she was to make several trips. She said that she wanted to go to the famous China Town in San Francisco but was a little afraid. I decided to ask her if she would like me to stay over in ST for about 2 days and escort her around some and alive some of her fears. To my surprise she agreed. I stayed and we did the usual tourist things. At the end of the 2 days I departed for North Carolina and she for Salt Lake City with an agreement to keep in contact with each other. I thought that it might be nice to have a friend form China as I had not made one while I was there.

 

After her 30 day business trip was over she ask if she could come to North Carolina to see where I lived. I tried to talk her out of it as I just knew that once she say my little old town of 4,000 people and her being from Beijing that she would never speak to me again and I really wanted to have her for a friend. She said that she had a little time left and really want to come so I eventually agreed. I picked her up at RDU airport at 12 O¡¯clock midnight. On the way to my hometown she kept looking out of the car window into the dark night sky. I kept asking her what she was looking for. She finally told me that she was looking for all the tall buildings. I laughed and told her that the tallest building in my whole county was the hospital which was only 7 stories. The building that she worked in had more people that my whole town. I guessed that at that point that would be the last of this friendship.

 

Well she and I eventually fell in love after about 70 days and as I knew that she had to return to China soon I ask her if she would marry me as I did not want to lose her. She made me the hippest man in the world at that moment. We knew that the time that we had spent together was short but seemed so perfect for each other in every way. We checked out our situation immigration wise and found that as her being here on a B-1 visa and not having ever known each other prior to our meeting on the airplane we could go ahead and get married here in the US and bypass most of the hassles but not all. We went to the then INS and filed her paperwork and paid all of the processing fees, they gotta have their money you know.

 

In February 2001 she had to return to Beijing to help her boss find a replacement for her. In April I went to Beijing to see her for 30 days and she came home with me for about 29 days. In October she returned to me and has stayed here for the last 7 years and has not returned to China and no mention of it. I have pleaded with her to return to China to see her parents but there seems to be some kind of medical issue with me and she will not return to see her parents because she will not leave me. When I recover from my medical problems sufficiently it is time to start to work for the summer months. We started a Jet Ski business about 6 years ago.

 

I ask her if she was sure that she wanted to marry someone that owed so much money and her answer was that she was not marrying me for the money she was marrying me because I was a good man and that she loved me. She ask me if I owed the money and I said that I owed every penny of it. She said if you will listen to me we will pay it all off and have some money and travel some again.

 

Now in just 6 years of working this business we have paid off these medical bill and have almost $200,000 in the bank. Now I know that is not much money by most of the posters here¡¯s standards but considering where I have been and to come back in just 6 years I think was pretty good. I OWE IT ALL TO MY WONDEFRUL WIFE. I hope that we can have a long and happy life together for her if for no other reason as she has been so wonderful to me and actually saved my life but that is another story. I am sure that this lovely woman loves me and not for money as I had none and she could have had a great deal of money by just keeping her mouth shut and she would have had it all with no investment ( two houses and a large life insurance policy as well as my annuity check for the rest of her life but that is another story as I said. Perhaps I¡¯ll tell it someday.

 

So you see my story is somewhat different from most here as most here were looking for a wife after a nasty divorce and some were looking for a Chinese wife as most have said the they make good wives and most of them do. I was not looking for a Chinese wife at all but found a diamond in the process. How luck I was. If our marriage was to end tomorrow I would still owe her so much and could not thank her enough for everything that she has given me. She gave me love and my life back. What else could I ask for?

 

Larry

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shaffej7070

shaffej7070

Posted
Posted (edited)

Larry,

 

That was truly one of the most touching stories I have ever read. I have never been engaged in any post as I have yours. You are an inspiration and we are all fortunate that you found the courage to write your story. Please write more! Thank you and God Bless.

 

yimi

Edited by yimi386 (see edit history)
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SirLancelot

SirLancelot

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Posted

Larry,

 

That was truly one of the most touching stories I have ever read. I have never been engaged in any post as I have yours. You are an inspiration and we are all fortunate that you found the courage to write your story. Please write more! Thank you and God Bless.

 

yimi

 

amberjack1234, I gotta agree with Yimi, that was a very touching story. The part where you held your wife's hand and stayed with her until she passed, it certainly brought a few tears to my eyes. I'm not religious, but your story was very touching. :lol:

 

Larry had told me about his new wife a little in PM, but I knew nothing about his previous wife. I'm happy to read about his two happy marriages.

 

Lots of good wishes going forward for a long and happy life Larry! :rolleyes:

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Joanne

Joanne

Posted
Posted

Larry,

 

That was truly one of the most touching stories I have ever read. I have never been engaged in any post as I have yours. You are an inspiration and we are all fortunate that you found the courage to write your story. Please write more! Thank you and God Bless.

 

yimi

 

amberjack1234, I gotta agree with Yimi, that was a very touching story. The part where you held your wife's hand and stayed with her until she passed, it certainly brought a few tears to my eyes. I'm not religious, but your story was very touching. :lol:

 

Larry had told me about his new wife a little in PM, but I knew nothing about his previous wife. I'm happy to read about his two happy marriages.

 

Lots of good wishes going forward for a long and happy life Larry! :rolleyes:

 

Ditto. I am also deeply touched.

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rogerinca

rogerinca

Posted
Posted

Larry,

 

That was truly one of the most touching stories I have ever read. I have never been engaged in any post as I have yours. You are an inspiration and we are all fortunate that you found the courage to write your story. Please write more! Thank you and God Bless.

 

yimi

 

amberjack1234, I gotta agree with Yimi, that was a very touching story. The part where you held your wife's hand and stayed with her until she passed, it certainly brought a few tears to my eyes. I'm not religious, but your story was very touching. :)

 

Larry had told me about his new wife a little in PM, but I knew nothing about his previous wife. I'm happy to read about his two happy marriages.

 

Lots of good wishes going forward for a long and happy life Larry! :victory:

 

 

Yes Larry, I read every word of your wonderful story !!

 

I am touched to the point of having to clear the tears, just to read further.

 

I think your new wife was Heaven sent; just like many of us others have experienced.

 

Thank you for sharing your story. While so sad, it was also so uplifting.

 

As Lance says, may your life together be long and forever happy ;)

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lou

lou

Posted
Posted

I know it must have been hard to post a lot of that story, thank

you for sharing. We read many stories here and your right, they are

all different. Finding peace within yourself and having a happy marriage

is such a wonderful thing, I hope everyone here can find the same.

 

If you live on the east coast, please let me know. I suddenly have the

hankering to rent a jet ski :) ! Haven't been on one for a few years

and I know my wife would love it! (I'm not kidding) ;)

 

Thanks again for sharing, our thoughts are with you :victory:

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amberjack1234

amberjack1234

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I do thank each and every one of you from the bottom of my heart for your replies. It was a difficult/happy story to tell and that was why it was so long in coming but I have gotten so much from the member here that I now felt compelled to tell it.

 

If I have not numbed all the fine folks attention by posting such a long post I will later tell the rest of my story. This one everyone will probably be more interested in: My life with a Chinese Lady, but for now I must return to work.

 

Again thanks to everyone.

Larry

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