chilton747 Posted August 10, 2007 Report Share Posted August 10, 2007 Day to day talks with my wife often are about financial issues. To me it is normal for a husband to think in terms of making sure she is ok financially if something happens to him. I think my wife doesn't fully comprehend my feelings in this matter. I am certain that she does not understand this as she has never lived it. In general, perhaps Chinese couples do not place as much emphasis on this matter as we do. Any thought or experiences from anyone? Link to comment
ptcrusier333rph Posted August 10, 2007 Report Share Posted August 10, 2007 I have a large life insurance on me and anytime I try to tell her about it she will change the subject or tell me not to talk about death. One day she even turn off her computer but before she did she said "If I want to talk about life and living plz call, if not go to bed!" So i stop talking about it. But it there when the time comes. Link to comment
Tony_onrock Posted August 10, 2007 Report Share Posted August 10, 2007 Well, my wife has a life insurance policy with our baby and my step son as the beneficiaries. I don't. For me it is more of a financial matter than the fact that I am Chinese. It is too expensive to buy at my age and the return seems to be quite unattractive. Instead, I negotiated vesting of my profit interests in the company upon my death (100% vesting ) and invested sufficent amounts such that should something happen to me, my wife will have enough money to last the rest of her life, with a trust fund for my daughter to support her for her life time. If I buy life insurance they will never get as much. Link to comment
shaffej7070 Posted August 10, 2007 Report Share Posted August 10, 2007 I have a large life insurance on me and anytime I try to tell her about it she will change the subject or tell me not to talk about death. One day she even turn off her computer but before she did she said "If I want to talk about life and living plz call, if not go to bed!" So i stop talking about it. But it there when the time comes. My wife changes the subject and gets angry whenever I mention life insurance or a Last Will and Testament. You never know what could happen. I just want to reassure her that she'll have a little security in the event that something happens. Link to comment
chilton747 Posted August 10, 2007 Author Report Share Posted August 10, 2007 I haven't been discussing life insurance with my wife but rather using my protective instinct when it comes to purchasing a house. If something were to happen to me then I would not want her to become heavily burdened in the future with whatever decision we make today. My wife has never had one person care this way about her until I came along. So her practical way of thinking only involves the "now" and not the "what if." I guess that her coming from a family where she was always cosidered a second class human being has etched this in her mind. Link to comment
david_dawei Posted August 10, 2007 Report Share Posted August 10, 2007 I might suggest that some of the issues mentioned here are not that she's against the protective ideas... she may not feel like "talking about it"... I'm sure what she would prefer is for each to just do what is necessary to some degree (ie: get the insurance, setup the protection, etc)... don't bore her with details... that can come later when she is ready to really ask and understand about it... but by that time, if she feels she is protected, what's there to talk about... Link to comment
chilton747 Posted August 10, 2007 Author Report Share Posted August 10, 2007 I might suggest that some of the issues mentioned here are not that she's against the protective ideas... she may not feel like "talking about it"... I'm sure what she would prefer is for each to just do what is necessary to some degree (ie: get the insurance, setup the protection, etc)... don't bore her with details... that can come later when she is ready to really ask and understand about it... but by that time, if she feels she is protected, what's there to talk about...I hear you David but in my case this involves the way we spend our money now. I have to include her on this and our ideas on spending the money clash because of the "protective" issues that I have. What she does not understand is that sometimes it might take a little more money to do things when a "protective" stance is being taken. I wish I could just do it and not have to tell her. But in this case, it is not an option. Link to comment
NewDay2006 Posted August 10, 2007 Report Share Posted August 10, 2007 Well, my wife has a life insurance policy with our baby and my step son as the beneficiaries. I don't. For me it is more of a financial matter than the fact that I am Chinese. It is too expensive to buy at my age and the return seems to be quite unattractive. Instead, I negotiated vesting of my profit interests in the company upon my death (100% vesting ) and invested sufficent amounts such that should something happen to me, my wife will have enough money to last the rest of her life, with a trust fund for my daughter to support her for her life time. If I buy life insurance they will never get as much.My wife won't talk about this subject too much either... but I told her she needs to know there will be money if something should happen to me one day. Tony, I would think that you might need at least a small policy for burial expenses in the event the G. Reaper should appear for you. They would make things easier for her also. having said this, I have some good insurance, but definetly not enough that she would live the life of riley for the rest of her days. I have insurance at work and a separate policy and 2 pensions and a 401K, but even that wouldn't be enough, she would have to work... I think I may get a smaller one also for my burial expenses... Link to comment
Juette Posted August 10, 2007 Report Share Posted August 10, 2007 My wife refuses to talk about these issues, too. What I did was to prepare an envelope with information on all of our accounts, assets, investments, properties, etc., and give detailed instructions on what she needs to do in the event of my death. I also give her advice on her options (like liquidating assets and going back to China or making the money work for her and staying in the USA). I also have listed two very trustworthy individuals to assist her with the financial matters. I'll have to update this envelope on an annual basis. The envelope is in our fire-proof safe and I hope she doesn't need to open it for many years. Link to comment
NewDay2006 Posted August 11, 2007 Report Share Posted August 11, 2007 (edited) My wife refuses to talk about these issues, too. What I did was to prepare an envelope with information on all of our accounts, assets, investments, properties, etc., and give detailed instructions on what she needs to do in the event of my death. I also give her advice on her options (like liquidating assets and going back to China or making the money work for her and staying in the USA). I also have listed two very trustworthy individuals to assist her with the financial matters. I'll have to update this envelope on an annual basis. The envelope is in our fire-proof safe and I hope she doesn't need to open it for many years. This is a very good idea Edited August 11, 2007 by NewDay2006 (see edit history) Link to comment
mchina34 Posted August 13, 2007 Report Share Posted August 13, 2007 Day to day talks with my wife often are about financial issues. To me it is normal for a husband to think in terms of making sure she is ok financially if something happens to him. I think my wife doesn't fully comprehend my feelings in this matter. I am certain that she does not understand this as she has never lived it. In general, perhaps Chinese couples do not place as much emphasis on this matter as we do. Any thought or experiences from anyone? get life INS and all problems solved. normally companies will provide 10k or more for free, depending on the company, so if she thinks it's a waste, take the free coverage from work if possible. or, join the national guard and get a lot of coverage for free! Link to comment
PhoenixRising Posted August 13, 2007 Report Share Posted August 13, 2007 We all know what is certain death and taxes. My SO and I have not discussed this subject at length but it is one that we must address. If something would happen to me I definitely wish to have her with a degree of security. Link to comment
SinoTexas Posted August 13, 2007 Report Share Posted August 13, 2007 Surprisingly, we have been able to discuss this, at least the financial stuff. She is unwilling to discuss the funeral part of what happens after I die. As it stands now, I have my oldest son (19) as administrator of the estate. He likes my fiancee and understands the need for her care, as well as the kids. That way if there are any language issues or things she doesn't understand about the process, he can help her out. Of course as years go by and language and cultural differences become less of an issue, I can change the will and estate to meet our needs. I'm just concerned that for the near future, should something happen to me, she will need someone trustworthy to guide her through the process and knows where everything is and how to get access to it. Just my thoughts because I would not want her to go through it alone looking for envelopes or safety deposit boxes, papers, etc. She would have enough things on her mind. As aye, Jim Perhaps some estate planner can offer advice. Link to comment
chilton747 Posted August 13, 2007 Author Report Share Posted August 13, 2007 Thanks guys for all of yout experiences and advice. I have learned a lot. Link to comment
rogerluli Posted August 13, 2007 Report Share Posted August 13, 2007 Day to day talks with my wife often are about financial issues. To me it is normal for a husband to think in terms of making sure she is ok financially if something happens to him. I think my wife doesn't fully comprehend my feelings in this matter. I am certain that she does not understand this as she has never lived it. In general, perhaps Chinese couples do not place as much emphasis on this matter as we do. Any thought or experiences from anyone? Chinese women not understanding financial issues??? Link to comment
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