Questions - Questions

[phantom1949]

I just read a post from a woman in China asking about documentation. In reading it, it raised some quesitons I have.

 

Nicole and I have been writing for over three months and if all goes well, I will travel to China in January or February. When we meet, things may work out or not (But I hope they do). We will probably go the Fiance Visa route. So when we meet and if we decide to get engaged do I bring a ring with me or what? I guess I should but it seems silly in a way to buy a ring when we have not even met.

 

On the other hand, I just read a post where a lady was saying that Chinese customs stole some cookies. so how safe would a wring in the mail be???

 

If we meet and all goes well in January/February, I would plan to go back and visit in 4-6 months and then again when Nicole is ready to come to the USA. OK she is a grown lady but I would prefer to fly to China, so we could both see her parents and then she would be with me and not alone on the trip to the USA.

 

so:

Should I bring the ring with me, or

Bring the ring on the second trip? or

what do you suggest???

 

Again, I am new at this so be gentle.

 

Thanks

 

Lawrence

[C4Racer]

I would never consider sending something like a ring through the mail to China. Too many letters and things just don't seem to make the trip. DHL, Fedex would be an option if you going to purchase the ring here. The best option would be hand carried through airport customs. This is what I did. I had a special ring picked out and wanted her to have it. Another option, I have friends who did this, is to purchase the ring/s in China when you are there. How you do this is your choice. Everyone is different and makes their own choice.

 

If you hit it off, multiple visits are not only good (it will help to show a valid relationship), they will be necessary as it will be hard to stay away from her. I did the same thing. We met in March '04. I went back again over Thanksgiving '04m then again for her interview March '05. She requested my assistance not only for the interview, but to help her travel to the US. Yes, she is a grown woman as you state, but it was nice we were together since this was her first trip outside of China.

 

What ever you decide with the ring is up to you. I would bring paperwork with me though. It sounds like the two of you might get engaged this trip. If you do, she needs to sign her copies of the G-325A biographic information forms as well as a letter of intent. It will also be easier to fill out some of the information on these forms together.

 

Oh, yeah, BTW ..... welcome to CFL.

You'll find lot's of good information here.

We each have our own opinions on different subjects, but you've found a place where everyone is more than happy to help you understand what you've gotten yourself into. Sit back and enjoy. Your in for an incredible journey. Let us know how your first trip goes.

 

Michael

[MRMC]

Well it is best to write back and forth to get to know her. You need to meet her in person prior to filing any K1 petition. The government will want to see pictures and evidence of your relationship. I would not even think engagement until you have met and decide it. You have not met so you need to give it time. Go buy a ticket to China. Look on candle for information on ticket prices. Call Northwest Air or flychina.com

 

In addition, there are great jewelry stores in China if it goes that far. You can get 18K gold, 24K, Platinum, etc. The prices are reasonable.

[m-coon]

Hello and Welcome,

 

By ALL MEANS..... Buy the ring in the USA - They are much cheaper here (At least from what I found).

 

Hand carry (or wear the ring yourself - diamond side down, will look better) during all inspections at the airports. No need to do or say anything about it - they will not ask.

 

There is NOTHING WRONG with buying it ahead of time - as you will most likely want to give it to her on your first visit!!! I did the same thing. If you change your mind - you should be able to get a refund or be able to sell it for the same price. Ask before buying it!!!

 

Take all the paperwork with you so you can get it signed while you are there.

 

Take marriage documents with you just in the event you decide to marry her on the first visit. These documents do not need her name on them - therefore you can choose to use them or not - but good to have with you in the event you do want to marry her this trip, instead of the engagement route. K3 is just about the same time as the K1 - maybe a few months longer - but being married to her will definately make her more secure and happy.

 

Take plenty of photos - preferably with her family members.

 

Save EVERY receipt and document you receive during the trip - no matter how small it is - even restaurant receipts, etc.

 

Have a great time and good luck.

 

Scott

[david_dawei]

IMO, three visits is the ideal and will deflect even a few issues... so your basic plan is good.

 

Re: Ring. I'd advise you want till you in china and pick something out together... Actually, it was fun going out together and looking.

[stacato]

IMO, three visits is the ideal and will deflect even a few issues... so your basic plan is good.

 

Re: Ring. I'd advise you want till you in china and pick something out together... Actually, it was fun going out together and looking.

 

I agree. Rings may be more expensive in China, but on the plus side, size will not be an issue, and your SO will get to pick the ring she likes.

[tywy_99]

I just read a post from a woman in China asking about documentation. In reading it, it raised some quesitons I have.

 

Nicole and I have been writing for over three months and if all goes well, I will travel to China in January or February. When we meet, things may work out or not (But I hope they do). We will probably go the Fiance Visa route. So when we meet and if we decide to get engaged do I bring a ring with me or what? I guess I should but it seems silly in a way to buy a ring when we have not even met.

 

On the other hand, I just read a post where a lady was saying that Chinese customs stole some cookies. so how safe would a wring in the mail be???

 

If we meet and all goes well in January/February, I would plan to go back and visit in 4-6 months and then again when Nicole is ready to come to the USA. OK she is a grown lady but I would prefer to fly to China, so we could both see her parents and then she would be with me and not alone on the trip to the USA.

 

so:

Should I bring the ring with me, or

Bring the ring on the second trip? or

what do you suggest???

 

Again, I am new at this so be gentle.

 

Thanks

 

Lawrence

How does she feel about jewelry? Base your decision on that.

[Guest Duke]

IMO, three visits is the ideal and will deflect even a few issues... so your basic plan is good.

 

Re: Ring. I'd advise you want till you in china and pick something out together... Actually, it was fun going out together and looking.

 

I agree. Rings may be more expensive in China, but on the plus side, size will not be an issue, and your SO will get to pick the ring she likes.

 

You have a good plan. The ring question can go either way. Apples to apples, rings cost more there but you may well find that what she would choose for herself will cost less than what you would have chosen for her here. Since it is her choice, she will be happy. One thing to bear in mind is that a single ring with a small stone is what is more common in China. When shopping, I don't recall seeing two ring wedding sets.

 

If you haven't discussed the marriage possibility thoroughly before you go, you might want to be cautious about deciding for yourself whether to marry in China or the USA. Because this is an important life decision for both of you, I would advise you to prepare for both options and then carefully choose the one that best works for both of you, given your values, goals and circumstances. Personally, I was very happy all those webcam messenger sessions were with my "wife" and she and her family were very happy we were "married". On the other hand, she's not in a hurry to go to work. Others might be.

 

I think you'll find the time difference between K1 and K3 can be less than the difference between random pairs of K1 petitions. As a practical matter, there is no reason the time difference should be any more than 30 days and that's just the time between filing the I-130 and receiving the receipt for doing so. It could be as short as 10 to 14 days. My own K3 was faster than many of the K1 timelines you'll see here, even considering the month between filing the two petitions.

 

Welcome! It's great you're coming here before your first trip to meet her. There's wealth of information available to help you prepare well for whatever choices you make.

[phantom1949]

Hey Lawrence,

 

I am a new poster to this forum but have spent many hours here, and VJ, reading and researching my K-1 application. These two forums have been a lifesaver for me so far with their wealth of info and support system.

 

Like you and your lady, I had been talking to Wenyan (from Fushun) for about 3 months, hit it off real well with her online, and decided to make the trip to meet her in person. Having already researched like mad about the paperwork involved I took 4 copies of the I-129F and 325A with me.

 

With the internet being the internet I had no clue who was really goihg to meet me in Beijing (she was to travel down to meet me at the airport), but I wanted to be ready in case this online relationship wound up being a good one in person.

 

 

I too thought of a ring and decided that it would not be smart for me to buy one here in Uncle Sam territory...heck, I had no clue what to expect in Beijing, was I truly gonna find the love of a lifetime, just gonna have a great adventure with a woman who I would only be friends with, or jump on the next plane out of China? I also had no idea on how Wenyan would even like me as it is a two way street.

 

I walked off Continental Flight 89 in Beijing, went thru the checks and dragged my luggage into the airport to look for Wenyan...there towards the end of the line she stood with her Ronny / Fei (her short name) sign. We hugged and after a quick kiss we headed for the "Nascar" style taxi ride to the hotel. On the walk to the taxi station I found that she really knew not one word of english...LOL...and even though I've traveled to New Zealand and Australia 6 times, I didn't seem to pick up any Chinese there, so as I'm sitting back in the taxi holding Wenyan's hand laughing at myself and thinking, "this oughta be a real hoot, a redneck in China for 16 days and no way to communicate with this beautiful lady"...about that time Wenyan pulls out a pocket translator with it's Chinese/english dictionary and opened up our line of comunication.

 

We hit it off like we had known each other for years, saw that the the internet gods had been very good to us by leading us meet each other, and off we headed to Fushun to meet her parents and brothers and their families.

 

It was in Fushun that we decided to marry and it was a great feeling to go shopping there to find a ring together. I didn't find the rings expensive in Fushun and I really want my marriage to Wenyan being one where she is in on all the decisions so I was glad I hadn't brought a ring with me. The joy of being with Wenyan as she picked out what "she" liked was fantastic.

 

My trip was from September 30-Oct.15 this year so I am a brand new guy to the K-1 process and I now talk to Wenyan each night on the phone, as well as e-mail her daily.

 

I hope your trip goes as you and your lady dream that it could. I found my soulmate in Wenyan and the great adventure was started.

 

I plan on returning to Wenyan in Jan or Feb just after I get the NOA-2, maybe I'll see you on Flight 89. It starts in Texas and I'll get on it in Newark...I'll be the hillbilly in the Aussie hat with the big grin on my face. I also plan on going over to China every 3 months until Wenyan gets that visa approval.

 

The internet has been vedy, vedy good to me,

 

Rawknee

 

I am confused on the whole paperwork thing. So I know I need the I129 and the 325A but what else do I need to take? Where can I go to see the entire paper process and forms, etc??? Everyone here seems like a Pro and I do not understand some of the terms used.. HELP!!!

 

I have read all the posts, and think it is best if things work out for Nicole and I to buy the ring together. I really like that idea. Thank you ALL!!!!!

 

Nicole lives in Shenzhen now but her family lives somewhere else. She said we should meet in HongKong (she would meet me in the airport) and we should spend some time there, then sometime during the trip go to visit her family.

 

As for the type of person she is, well, she does not seem materialistic at all. I will be changing my job soon and probably moving. I am changing my job as I travel a lot now and when I am married I want to be there with my wife to help her - I do not want to leave her alone while I am away all the time. Nicole's response to where we could live is that I should choose and she will be happy.

 

We have discussed many things about what we want. She has told me that she does not want any more children (we each have our own from prior marriages) which means we can focus on and spoil each other. Nicole seems to want a simpler life. She is now a CPA in China.

 

We write each other all the time. I do write a lot more, but then we write in English and I assume she needs a friend to translate. While we have not met yet, I feel very close to her. She is a very warm and caring lady. When I started meeting ladies on the internet, I made the mistake of writing to too many. The good side to that was I saw so many responses that were carbon copies of each other or woman wanting to know what I would buy them, etc.... but then there was Nicole. She did not write as often but what she wrote really stood out and I was drawn to her.

 

But I noticed there were quesitons I asked that she never answered. A friend here PM's me to be careful and really know the lady in detail. So I wrote her and said if we were to move forward we really need to know everything about each other. I then wrote about my past in detail. She responded in kind and now I feel a lot closer to her. She told me things that most people do not talk about and really opened up to me. It made me feel a lot closer to her.

 

I had asked her if she wanted to get married in China or get a Fiance Visa and that we could decide when we met. At this point she wants to go the Fiance Visa route, but I will still get her decide (assuming all goes well).

 

I have read about being careful as some women just want a green card. Well Nicole told me she had met an American who came to China and they did get married there. But after he was home, he sent her divorce papers and never brought her to the USA. So, I guess her family will be very leerly of another American coming to meet their daughter. I will just have to win them over.

 

I am not writing all this to air laundry, but I while we have never met, I am beginning to feel like we want the same things and would make each other very happy. She was not proud of what happened with the American but I guess it shows that both Americans and foreign nationals can prey on each other.

 

In either case, I will fly into HongKong when I fly there and we will then travel to the mainland. I told her that she can plan the trip of where we go. I will bring the paperwork for both a Fiance Visa and a Marriage Visa to cover all bases.

 

I am new at this so any ideas, opinions, etc would be greatly appreciated.

 

Thanks to all!!!

[clayton2103]

Lawrence,

 

Welcome to the Candle. I have read your original post and also reading all the replies.

We have a bit in common and I am anxious to read further replies also.

 

As for the steps and forms for the K-1 visa process, here is a link for you to view:

 

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/index.ph...mp;page=k1guide

 

For the K-3 visa process:

 

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/index.ph...mp;page=k3guide

 

I am sure you will find them very helpful. I have.

Good luck and I look forward to reading more posts from you in the near future.

 

Clayton

Edited December 2, 2006 by clayton2103 (see edit history)

[Guest Duke]

Hey Lawrence,

 

I am a new poster to this forum but have spent many hours here, and VJ, reading and researching my K-1 application. These two forums have been a lifesaver for me so far with their wealth of info and support system.

 

Like you and your lady, I had been talking to Wenyan (from Fushun) for about 3 months, hit it off real well with her online, and decided to make the trip to meet her in person. Having already researched like mad about the paperwork involved I took 4 copies of the I-129F and 325A with me.

 

With the internet being the internet I had no clue who was really goihg to meet me in Beijing (she was to travel down to meet me at the airport), but I wanted to be ready in case this online relationship wound up being a good one in person.

 

 

I too thought of a ring and decided that it would not be smart for me to buy one here in Uncle Sam territory...heck, I had no clue what to expect in Beijing, was I truly gonna find the love of a lifetime, just gonna have a great adventure with a woman who I would only be friends with, or jump on the next plane out of China? I also had no idea on how Wenyan would even like me as it is a two way street.

 

I walked off Continental Flight 89 in Beijing, went thru the checks and dragged my luggage into the airport to look for Wenyan...there towards the end of the line she stood with her Ronny / Fei (her short name) sign. We hugged and after a quick kiss we headed for the "Nascar" style taxi ride to the hotel. On the walk to the taxi station I found that she really knew not one word of english...LOL...and even though I've traveled to New Zealand and Australia 6 times, I didn't seem to pick up any Chinese there, so as I'm sitting back in the taxi holding Wenyan's hand laughing at myself and thinking, "this oughta be a real hoot, a redneck in China for 16 days and no way to communicate with this beautiful lady"...about that time Wenyan pulls out a pocket translator with it's Chinese/english dictionary and opened up our line of comunication.

 

We hit it off like we had known each other for years, saw that the the internet gods had been very good to us by leading us meet each other, and off we headed to Fushun to meet her parents and brothers and their families.

 

It was in Fushun that we decided to marry and it was a great feeling to go shopping there to find a ring together. I didn't find the rings expensive in Fushun and I really want my marriage to Wenyan being one where she is in on all the decisions so I was glad I hadn't brought a ring with me. The joy of being with Wenyan as she picked out what "she" liked was fantastic.

 

My trip was from September 30-Oct.15 this year so I am a brand new guy to the K-1 process and I now talk to Wenyan each night on the phone, as well as e-mail her daily.

 

I hope your trip goes as you and your lady dream that it could. I found my soulmate in Wenyan and the great adventure was started.

 

I plan on returning to Wenyan in Jan or Feb just after I get the NOA-2, maybe I'll see you on Flight 89. It starts in Texas and I'll get on it in Newark...I'll be the hillbilly in the Aussie hat with the big grin on my face. I also plan on going over to China every 3 months until Wenyan gets that visa approval.

 

The internet has been vedy, vedy good to me,

 

Rawknee

 

I am confused on the whole paperwork thing. So I know I need the I129 and the 325A but what else do I need to take? Where can I go to see the entire paper process and forms, etc??? Everyone here seems like a Pro and I do not understand some of the terms used.. HELP!!!

 

 

I had asked her if she wanted to get married in China or get a Fiance Visa and that we could decide when we met. At this point she wants to go the Fiance Visa route, but I will still get her decide (assuming all goes well).

 

I have read about being careful as some women just want a green card. Well Nicole told me she had met an American who came to China and they did get married there. But after he was home, he sent her divorce papers and never brought her to the USA. So, I guess her family will be very leerly of another American coming to meet their daughter. I will just have to win them over.

 

 

In either case, I will fly into HongKong when I fly there and we will then travel to the mainland. I told her that she can plan the trip of where we go. I will bring the paperwork for both a Fiance Visa and a Marriage Visa to cover all bases.

 

I am new at this so any ideas, opinions, etc would be greatly appreciated.

 

Thanks to all!!!

 

A few thoughts. If you are meeting in Hong Kong, you will want to be careful to obtain the right visa. A single entry visa will get you into the mainland only one time. If you plan to cross into the mainland more than once, then get a two entry visa.

 

The marriage visa requires the I-130 form in addition to filling out the I-129 a little differently than for the K1 visa. You'll also need an additional set of G 325a. More importantly, you'll need to take any certified divorce decrees with you when you go. If you decide after your arrival, that you prefer to marry, simply take your SO and her ID with you to the Consulate in Guangzhou, present photocopies of your certified divorce decree (Show but retain the actual certified copy.) and have the Consulate issue you a Certificate of Marriageability. She will also need to present proof of any divorces to her local marriage office. Generally this is in the area of her registered residence or Houkou.

 

She will need her divorce decrees including one from the USA in order for you to marry or file any visa petition for her as your fiance or wife. You might as well obtain multiple passport type photographs while you are there and if she doesn't already have a passport there is no reason to delay applying for one.

 

You mention her family lives elsewhere. If I were in your shoes, I would want to both meet her family and see her current residence before committing to marriage but maybe that's just me. Get ready for the adventure of a lifetime regardless.

[SirLancelot]

I had asked her if she wanted to get married in China or get a Fiance Visa and that we could decide when we met. At this point she wants to go the Fiance Visa route, but I will still get her decide (assuming all goes well).

 

I have read about being careful as some women just want a green card. Well Nicole told me she had met an American who came to China and they did get married there. But after he was home, he sent her divorce papers and never brought her to the USA. So, I guess her family will be very leerly of another American coming to meet their daughter. I will just have to win them over.

 

I am not writing all this to air laundry, but I while we have never met, I am beginning to feel like we want the same things and would make each other very happy. She was not proud of what happened with the American but I guess it shows that both Americans and foreign nationals can prey on each other.

 

 

Phantom, I'd like to urge that you proceed with caution. I'm sensing red flag alerts from reading the above. The fact that she has already married an American before and is wanting to do it again after she was completely humiliated with the previous experience doesn't sound positive to me. Her loss of face after her divorce to the American is enormous and can't be overstated. And add the fact that she wants to go the K-1 route this time, it sounds to me like she may just want entry to the US. She wasn't able to achieve it last time with getting married in China first, this time she wants to try getting to the US before getting married.

 

While she may be quite sincere with this relationship, I just want to urge caution. For her to lose face once before and want to try it again is extremely unusual for a Chinese person, unless she has ulterior motives.

 

Conduct plenty of due diligence and best wishes going forward.

[david_dawei]

Nicole lives in Shenzhen now but her family lives somewhere else. She said we should meet in HongKong (she would meet me in the airport) and we should spend some time there, then sometime during the trip go to visit her family.

 

It is important to meet her family... good plan.

 

As for the type of person she is, well, she does not seem materialistic at all. I will be changing my job soon and probably moving. I am changing my job as I travel a lot now and when I am married I want to be there with my wife to help her - I do not want to leave her alone while I am away all the time. Nicole's response to where we could live is that I should choose and she will be happy.

People are in Shenzhen to make a better life... many that are there are not native. But she sounds like a practical, simple type... good sign.

 

I did the same thing; changed jobs to make it easier for my SO.

 

but then there was Nicole. She did not write as often but what she wrote really stood out and I was drawn to her.

 

Short and simple is a good sign, IMO.

 

But I noticed there were quesitons I asked that she never answered. A friend here PM's me to be careful and really know the lady in detail. So I wrote her and said if we were to move forward we really need to know everything about each other. I then wrote about my past in detail. She responded in kind and now I feel a lot closer to her. She told me things that most people do not talk about and really opened up to me. It made me feel a lot closer to her.

I think the chinese are not accustomed to being asked or sharing too much personal information.. particularl with someone they hardly know. Be careful of what you ask since the answer can be on some level, what she thinks you want to hear... if she wanted to offer this information in the first place, she would of. Don't push too hard; to know someone you must spend time with them.

 

I had asked her if she wanted to get married in China or get a Fiance Visa and that we could decide when we met. At this point she wants to go the Fiance Visa route, but I will still get her decide (assuming all goes well).

this is smart of her. she can back out of a relationship easier that is not a marriage.. and she's proceeding cautiously till she knows you better, and the family will want to be cautious too.

 

I have read about being careful as some women just want a green card. Well Nicole told me she had met an American who came to China and they did get married there. But after he was home, he sent her divorce papers and never brought her to the USA. So, I guess her family will be very leerly of another American coming to meet their daughter. I will just have to win them over.

Bring a gift for the family at every visit to china.. show some knowledge and respect for their traditions and culture and you will win them over.

 

I am not writing all this to air laundry, but I while we have never met, I am beginning to feel like we want the same things and would make each other very happy. She was not proud of what happened with the American but I guess it shows that both Americans and foreign nationals can prey on each other.

They can make a relationship feel like it was meant to be, even sight unseen. There are little hindrances and they proceed quite amorally on many issues. It will take some time to see all of this, but don't judge it; enjoy it and respect it. In the end, you can be very happy if you pay attention to what's important to her and your going to find out quite a few surprises along the way.

[david_dawei]

I had asked her if she wanted to get married in China or get a Fiance Visa and that we could decide when we met. At this point she wants to go the Fiance Visa route, but I will still get her decide (assuming all goes well).

 

I have read about being careful as some women just want a green card. Well Nicole told me she had met an American who came to China and they did get married there. But after he was home, he sent her divorce papers and never brought her to the USA. So, I guess her family will be very leerly of another American coming to meet their daughter. I will just have to win them over.

 

I am not writing all this to air laundry, but I while we have never met, I am beginning to feel like we want the same things and would make each other very happy. She was not proud of what happened with the American but I guess it shows that both Americans and foreign nationals can prey on each other.

 

 

Phantom, I'd like to urge that you proceed with caution. I'm sensing red flag alerts from reading the above. The fact that she has already married an American before and is wanting to do it again after she was completely humiliated with the previous experience doesn't sound positive to me. Her loss of face after her divorce to the American is enormous and can't be overstated. And add the fact that she wants to go the K-1 route this time, it sounds to me like she may just want entry to the US. She wasn't able to achieve it last time with getting married in China first, this time she wants to try getting to the US before getting married.

 

While she may be quite sincere with this relationship, I just want to urge caution. For her to lose face once before and want to try it again is extremely unusual for a Chinese person, unless she has ulterior motives.

 

Conduct plenty of due diligence and best wishes going forward.

I had the exact same feeling on the exact same text.. and decided not to mention it.. but you really need to just meet her and keep the head at the forefront of what you see and keep the heart under guard a little... but since an astute comment has been made.. I'll second it.

[jim_julian]

Phantom ... regarding the ring ...

 

Stop at a major jewelers in the US and get a "ring sizer". If things go well get her ring size. Buy the ring in the US and present it on your second trip.

 

Diamonds are less expensive in the US and, even more importantly, you KNOW what you are getting with a certified stone from a reputable US source. An engagement ring is not the standard practice in China and it certainly can wait.