How to show your love to a Chinese Woman?

[vypersix]

Hello everyone! On my last chat with my sweetheart we got into the discussion of how would she know that I really loved her...I told her the things that I know and how I felt but she said that I should learn the ways of chinese culture to show a woman you love her...Can anyone help me out here...I would really like to impress her. We are very happy right now but anyways I can increase our bond will only make it even stronger...

 

Here is the conversation:

Lily: Can you tell me what will you to let me follow you

Me: I will love you foever

Me: forever

Lily: How I can know that?

Me: You will feel it in my kisses

Lily: Not enough

Me: and see it in my eyes

Lily: You should learn some Chinese culture to know how to show your love to Chinese girl

 

I did a search on the internet but did not come up with much...Can anyone help me on this one?

Your friend,

Victor

[pkfops]

Go to China a couple of times, visit a few cities and

create some memories.

 

 

Ctrip can help you with an itinary.

http://english.ctrip.com/Destinations/DestinationGuides.asp

 

I think Chinese ladies are a bit more action orientated.

[jemmyell]

Hello everyone! On my last chat with my sweetheart we got into the discussion of how would she know that I really loved her...I told her the things that I know and how I felt but she said that I should learn the ways of chinese culture to show a woman you love her...Can anyone help me out here...I would really like to impress her. We are very happy right now but anyways I can increase our bond will only make it even stronger...

 

Here is the conversation:

Lily: Can you tell me what will you to let me follow you

Me: I will love you foever

Me: forever

Lily: How I can know that?

Me: You will feel it in my kisses

Lily: Not enough

Me: and see it in my eyes

Lily: You should learn some Chinese culture to know how to show your love to Chinese girl

 

I did a search on the internet but did not come up with much...Can anyone help me on this one?

Your friend,

Victor

237481[/snapback]

Home, commitment, sincerity are very high on the list. Chinese women want security and faithfulness above all IMHO. Call when you say you will, do what you say you will do.

 

If you own your home that is a big plus. Take digital photos and send them to her. Arrange to visit her as soon as you can, and begin the discussion of what the visa process consists of and all the things that would be good to do when you do visit. This will demonstrate that you are already looking forward to married life and to acting as life partners.

 

Above all, be CONFIDENT! But don't make promises you cannot keep.

 

-James and Loving Candle

[MikeandRong]

Hello everyone! On my last chat with my sweetheart we got into the discussion of how would she know that I really loved her...I told her the things that I know and how I felt but she said that I should learn the ways of chinese culture to show a woman you love her...Can anyone help me out here...I would really like to impress her. We are very happy right now but anyways I can increase our bond will only make it even stronger...

 

Here is the conversation:

Lily: Can you tell me what will you to let me follow you

Me: I will love you foever

Me: forever

Lily: How I can know that?

Me: You will feel it in my kisses

Lily: Not enough

Me: and see it in my eyes

Lily: You should learn some Chinese culture to know how to show your love to Chinese girl

 

I did a search on the internet but did not come up with much...Can anyone help me on this one?

Your friend,

Victor

237481[/snapback]

See what a phone call can do?

 

In my experience, when a Chinese woman has something on her mind, she is very forthcoming, quick, straight forward, and BLUNT! So don't take that in a bad way at all.

 

Most important thing is for her to feel secure. You do not need to say I love you 5 times a day, she already knows that, hence the need not to say.

 

How you make her feel secure, depends on where you are in the releationship. But I think she is looking to the future, not the present time.

 

What ever you do, do not make a promise you can't keep.

Don't raise your voice to her.

Don't talk down to her.

Treat her as your equal.

Learn that you do not need to question her about things. She would rather keep things from you, so you do not have worry. She will tell you if you need to know, if at all.

Learn to trust her.

Listen to her.

Show her that family comes first.

Show her that you are a good and stable worker and can take care of her (don't be surprised to hear her say she will work once here to help you out).

 

It all takes time, but learn to listen to her. Get ready for the magic carpet ride.

[Dennis143]

Hello everyone! On my last chat with my sweetheart we got into the discussion of how would she know that I really loved her...I told her the things that I know and how I felt but she said that I should learn the ways of chinese culture to show a woman you love her...Can anyone help me out here...I would really like to impress her. We are very happy right now but anyways I can increase our bond will only make it even stronger...

 

Here is the conversation:

Lily: Can you tell me what will you to let me follow you

Me: I will love you foever

Me: forever

Lily: How I can know that?

Me: You will feel it in my kisses

Lily: Not enough

Me: and see it in my eyes

Lily: You should learn some Chinese culture to know how to show your love to Chinese girl

 

I did a search on the internet but did not come up with much...Can anyone help me on this one?

Your friend,

Victor

237481[/snapback]

If you love her, you will keep her secure and always provide for her. You will prove to her how you can and will do this. Love is a simple word. Actions are more powerful. Looking in your eyes or feeling it in your kiss won’t tell her that you will give her a secure life forever, after the goo goo eyes and passionate kisses are gone.

[david_dawei]

Chinese have what I call a "do" ethic. Consider that within a chinese family they rarely say "i love you", yet I see more devotion among the family... I heard from one chinese lady, "words are meaningless. Anybody can speak a word. Not everyone will do something for you".

 

- Don't talk if action is what is needed; just do it

- Do something promptly shows you will take care of it; do it now

- show love in action instead of words; take care of her

- Don't ask her if she needs something, just do it for her; know her

- Remember the most important issues are often: Health, sleep/rest, exercise, food. This is to help ensure a long life together; Therefore, watch for her to be tired; see that she eats regularly, etc. My wife is very sensitive to these areas, some others might not be.

 

Here's one simple example:

Bring her something you realize she needs or forgot to do; if she likes to drink water throughout the day (like my wife), I often just bring her water.. I don't ask her if she wants it. To ask her would imply that I don't understand her basic need enough; To ask her means I am unaware of when she last drank some water; To simply bring her water says to her that I care about her and her desire to drink water often and I want her to have some...

[NewDay2006]

Ok, on the flip side... how do yo know they love you? Now and in the future?

[Dennis143]

Ok, on the flip side... how do yo know they love you? Now and in the future?

237494[/snapback]

Aw, you can see it in her eyes and tell by her kiss, silly.

[Yuanyang]

All very good and dead on.

 

I will emphasis one "Don't" and that is public displays of affection. Holding hands and small embraces is about it. If she wants to kiss you in public then go for it dude, but you shouldn't initiate it or impose it on her for any reason.

[egolessvegan]

............I echo Charles thought. Would it be appropriate to ask her the same question? Afterall this is a two way street.

Dennis, there have been more than a few disasters here. Everybody needs to do their homework.

 

Ken

[warpedbored]

Every couple's relationship is different but my wife shows she loves me in a myriad of different ways. she brings me fruit or a cup tea, she watches for my needs, she worries when I don't eat right. David has the right of it. Actions speak louder than words to Chinese people. "I love you" is more the American style. You probably won't hear that phrase as much from a Chinese woman as you would an American woman. On the flip side you will be expected to reciprocate. She may never say so but she will expect you to do the same niceties for her.

[Dennis143]

............I echo Charles thought. Would it be appropriate to ask her the same question? Afterall this is a two way street.

Dennis, there have been more than a few disasters here. Everybody needs to do their homework.

 

Ken

237501[/snapback]

Understood, Ken. However, more than just offering Victor the essence of love through a Chinese woman’s perspective, I wonder if, by similar token, would it not be even more beneficial to try to point out to Victor that even though he is feeling all of the goo goo ga ga emotions of love right now these are rather silly notions to some if not most Chinese women and these feelings have not one iota for a foundation of long-term security for him nor her.

I suppose my response to Charles was in some way hoping that I could facetiously point this out.

 

I need to expand on this a bit. Arranged marriages have been part of Chinese culture for generations and is still practiced today, whether knowingly or not. I now believe, and understand, how most of these marriages we enter are arranged marriages too. I believe the foundation of many Chinese women is to marry someone based on security more than love. This is a pretty alien concept to the western views of romantic love and marriage. The arrangement that we enter is that we want someone who is undyingly loyal to us and family, whereas they want someone who will provide and take care of them forever, (and this may also include their immediate and extended family in this arrangement).

 

Yes, Victor is wise to do some homework re this. He will have a tremendous head start in having a less stressful and misunderstood relationship.

Edited August 14, 2006 by Dennis143 (see edit history)

[LeeFisher3]

As has been said, Actions speak louder than words. Most women are not looking for you to spend large amounts of money buying them things, it's the little things you do for her that speak loudest.

 

Since I don't thing you haven't been to China yet, why not ask her if you could come to China. Be careful, don't tell her you are coming to China, you need to ask if it would be OK. Before you do, you might have some dates in mind so you can discuss how they would work when she says yes. Also, do not commit to a specific date until you know for sure you can have the time off and such.

 

Many times there is a considerable amount of planning and arranging of things on her end, so don't blow smoke, talk to her straight about the scheduling.

[david_dawei]

I need to expand on this a bit.  Arranged marriages have been part of Chinese culture for generations and is still practiced today, whether knowingly or not.  I now believe, and understand, how most of these marriages we enter are arranged marriages too.   I believe the foundation of many Chinese women is to marry someone based on security more than love.  This is a pretty alien concept to the western views of romantic love and marriage.   The arrangement that we enter is that we want someone who is undyingly loyal to us and family, whereas they want someone who will provide and take care of them forever, (and this may also include their immediate and extended family in this arrangement).

 

Yes, Victor is wise to do some homework re this.  He will have a tremendous head start in having a less stressful and misunderstood relationship.

237509[/snapback]

I agree with what you are saying here... I've found many chinese ladies who prefer to act [sensibly and practically ] with their head rather than [emotionally and frivilously] with their heart. This kind of calculating approach to life (ie: security, both emotional and financial) can make them seem a bit odd to the western ideal of what a woman is like. But my feeling is that their emotional side operates as freely as their thinking, although it might be protected mode, particularly publicly in china.

 

The issue of 'face' cannot be underestimated.. and the suggestions to ask her things, or follow her lead (ie: don't drop a 10 ton kiss on her lips in china) need to be carefully understood... The smallest discretion can have a big react; And the smallest care [ie: understanding her and her cultural ways] can have a big impact.

Edited August 14, 2006 by DavidZixuan (see edit history)

[chef4u]

Victor...I too will say that it is your actions and not your words that is the upmost impotance in building a strong foundation for you two. Your actions need only to be simple. No real need to get elaborate. Just be kind, gentle and sensitive to her daily needs. Remember, they want to feel loved...not so much to hear love. What she will give you in return is navana!! How will you know this? Funny....you too will feel it. Yan and I wish you both a life time of happiness together!!

Edited August 15, 2006 by chef4u (see edit history)