=)

[RLS]

I'm not critisizing in any way. All the more power to you. Personally, I could never take that much time off work. Nor, could I afford it. I have been there once and had to plan and save for it. When I got home, the bills were right there waiting for me. So, in a way, we are all in the same boat, but, in another way, we all have different situations. I plan to go again whenever she has her interview in Guz. I've got a long way to go.

[RLS]

Good thread.  In fact I have had terrible depression of late.  I have learned to not share all of the negative things with my wife.  She had it hard too, but is so enthused about learning before she comes here she has thrown herself into education.  She always asks me not to get her thinking too much in terms of our intimate times together.  I never saw such a smart lady with a good job go nuts like she did the first time we met.  Boy it was rough being back.  But leaving her at the airport the 2nd time was horrible.  She just hung her head and cried and her nose ran.  I had my son get in line with my luggage and security let me back out to stand with her awhile.  She asked how I knew she would still be there, and I said I just knew.  She felt like her life was leaving her.

 

Lately this depression is working on the love I have for her.  I can tell I have shut a lot of it out.  I don't like that.  I also find it hard to work on the house and my job to prepare for her.  So I am glad to read this thread.  Maybe I will come out of the numbness.

 

Thanks ALL.

196881[/snapback]

Believe me you are not alone. How well I know that sunken, lost, helpless feeling when we had to part. I know men are not supposed to cry, but, I think I did half way home. I have found it hard to get things done, as you mentioned. I come home from work and get on the computer. This website, great as it is, could probably cause some to become addicted to it. It's like a special little island where you can anchor for a while and be around some people who understand. I think it's good. It beats paying a psychiatrist LOL!

[pkfops]

It wil be over soon.

 

It is hard to talk about the

Day to Day things because of culture

and distance; but that will change.

 

Just do the Chinese thing; work hard and

save money for "that day". It will happen.

 

Your goal is set so don't worry about it;

Chinese girls aren't like American girls.

Edited March 9, 2006 by pkfops (see edit history)

[whatsthehaps]

Yes, suffering becomes a bit more enjoyable when you can share it with someone!

 

When my brother was in the marines and had to do those 20+ mile humps with all the gear on each day, he had a great big smile on his face. They were horrible but the looks on the other guys faces were priceless!!!

[SheLikesME?]

It wil be over soon.

 

It is hard to talk about the

Day to Day things because of culture

and distance; but that will change.

 

Just do the Chinese thing; work hard and

save money for "that day". It will happen.

 

Your goal is set so don't worry about it;

Chinese girls aren't like American girls.

196887[/snapback]

Exactly, and she IS so dedicated. Work hard and save for that time and pay off the house, hahaha. Then when we are together work hard and play hard.

 

It took me awhile to understand her not wanting me to travel to China so much so I could make our future better. Rather than get depressed she goes to work and stays very busy. I do too, but it has been a bit hard this past 2-3 weeks.

 

When they marry they marry!!! She is such a perfect person but I sure had to get used to her not acting like what had been my experience in America all my life.

 

Thanks all.

[Feathers268]

I know the pain you speak of so well. Tis process is sooo long and at times seems so unfare. I have had my share of posts here lamenting being alone as well as blasting the established system for taking so long, and even more so for not being very forthcoming about our status thoughout the process.

I wish I could offer some words that would put it all into perspective, but I don't know what to say. I can tell you that everyone here will get that news eventually that will turn your world upside down. Your will have that nervous, joyfull feeling that causes you to have a stupid grin on your face knowing that your SO FINALLY has an interview scheduled.

Just keep telling yourself that they will get that visa and soon they will be with you. Trust me, the feeling of gratitude that it is all over and they are here will make it all worth it. Keep believing and remember, we all are here with you, and we all know exactly how you feel. B)

It does work.

[hunter]

I know the pain you speak of so well. Tis process is sooo long and at times seems so unfare. I have had my share of posts here lamenting being alone as well as blasting the established system for taking so long, and even more so for not being very forthcoming about our status thoughout the process.

I wish I could offer some words that would put it all into perspective, but I don't know what to say. I can tell you that everyone here will get that news eventually that will turn your world upside down. Your will have that nervous, joyfull feeling that causes you to have a stupid grin on your face knowing that your SO FINALLY has an interview scheduled.

Just keep telling yourself that they will get that visa and soon they will be with you. Trust me, the feeling of gratitude that it is all over and they are here will make it all worth it. Keep believing and remember, we all are here with you, and we all know exactly how you feel. B)

It does work. B)

196905[/snapback]

Sinse I started talking with my wife. One of the things I really wanted her to understand, is that she will become a US citizen. I am excited as hell that she will have the chance to persue the things that make her happy. I look forward to my bright woman moving up in the world. I'm so proud of her now. Imagine the things a great person can do, when they do not have a leash, and can direct their own wishes and will. Another thing we talk about. In the USA, it is illegal to abuse a human beings. I made very good and sure, about 911, and protecting herself. I think it is a persons personal responsibility to be able to defend ones self. I do not have the right to hurt or control my wife, neither does she. She understands that. we are 2 grown human beings and we can use our brains and our minds to tackle things. We are husband and wife, we are also a business to ourselves. We have a common interest in things. We talk a lot about our future children. =) you know I can hardly wait.

[RLS]

I know the pain you speak of so well. Tis process is sooo long and at times seems so unfare. I have had my share of posts here lamenting being alone as well as blasting the established system for taking so long, and even more so for not being very forthcoming about our status thoughout the process.

I wish I could offer some words that would put it all into perspective, but I don't know what to say. I can tell you that everyone here will get that news eventually that will turn your world upside down. Your will have that nervous, joyfull feeling that causes you to have a stupid grin on your face knowing that your SO FINALLY has an interview scheduled.

Just keep telling yourself that they will get that visa and soon they will be with you. Trust me, the feeling of gratitude that it is all over and they are here will make it all worth it. Keep believing and remember, we all are here with you, and we all know exactly how you feel. B)

It does work. B)

196905[/snapback]

Sinse I started talking with my wife. One of the things I really wanted her to understand, is that she will become a US citizen. I am excited as hell that she will have the chance to persue the things that make her happy. I look forward to my bright woman moving up in the world. I'm so proud of her now. Imagine the things a great person can do, when they do not have a leash, and can direct their own wishes and will. Another thing we talk about. In the USA, it is illegal to abuse a human beings. I made very good and sure, about 911, and protecting herself. I think it is a persons personal responsibility to be able to defend ones self. I do not have the right to hurt or control my wife, neither does she. She understands that. we are 2 grown human beings and we can use our brains and our minds to tackle things. We are husband and wife, we are also a business to ourselves. We have a common interest in things. We talk a lot about our future children. =) you know I can hardly wait.

197088[/snapback]

Well Im way past the age of having children, but I only wish you and yours the best life has to offer. (What I mean is, I can still do , well you know what, but I don't want anymore children.

[Michael and Manyun]

Well Im way past the age of having children, but I only wish you and yours the best life has to offer.  (What I mean is, I can still do , well you know what, but I don't want anymore children.

Ron, from what I can figure, our age is immaterial. I am soon to be 55, and my SO is soon to be 38. Red flag? You bet.

 

I asked her not long ago why she would even consider someone of my age. Her response? Maturity, security, and fidelity.

 

In her eyes, age is not a factor. Love overcomes all. My SO offered to have more children by me. I can't, and this was immediately accepted.

 

Ron, they want us for who and what we are. I love that about them. What a refreshing change from American women whose goal is to make us conform to their mold.

[Larry T]

You know. I miss my wife so much. And the only thing that sometimes really helps me, is your all suffering with me. I am not alone. Whats really neat, is to see someone overcome an obsticle, or pass an interview. Its great to see folks who have their SO in the US and still posting. It makes me look forward to getting to where you are at. A finalizing of the process. Although, my wife calls me smart and wise, I know there will be many hurdles in life. It is a good thing, to see folks make progess as it gives hope that I will  eventually move along on this slow process. When I get to milestones, I am very happy, yet tempered by knowing there will be another step. Thanks for silently being there everybody. I know you are all here because you have a heart, and you smile, and you sometimes cry too. I know, and I think you all do too.

Neil.

196503[/snapback]

Diddo, my wife arrived in the US on March 8th. I intend to be as supportive as possible to the many couples going through this long and rough journey. I was present at my wife's initial interview which did not go as planned however we were able to easily overcome the denial. If I can be of any assistance to others, post away and I am sure if I can't help someone else will give the necesary information

 

LT

[SheLikesME?]

Ron, they want us for who and what we are. I love that about them. What a refreshing change from American women whose goal is to make us conform to their mold.

 

Yea isn't it great.

 

Hmm someone deleated their message, I thought it was good. Yep time to quit whinning. Can't help the depression sometimes, but must fight it. Digging the sewer pipe I busted the other day. Will fix, then get back to the relandscaping so the little one will have a smooth yard to play in. Everyday I look for something to bring in money, or making the place better for their arrival.

Edited March 10, 2006 by SheLikesME (see edit history)

[hunter]

Ron, they want us for who and what we are. I love that about them. What a refreshing change from American women whose goal is to make us conform to their mold.

 

Yea isn't it great.

 

Hmm someone deleated their message, I thought it was good. Yep time to quit whinning. Can't help the depression sometimes, but must fight it. Digging the sewer pipe I busted the other day. Will fix, then get back to the relandscaping so the little one will have a smooth yard to play in. Everyday I look for something to bring in money, or making the place better for their arrival.

197280[/snapback]

When I asked my wife to marry me, I seriously considered what I was asking her to get into. I am fortunate as hell that I have friends in my city who are chinese. So she will have them, and they are like her uncle and aunt. I also found a chinese/english christian church, and I really want to take her there on sundays. Are any of you particularly religious? or maybe OHMMMMMM. hehe.

[SheLikesME?]

Ron, they want us for who and what we are. I love that about them. What a refreshing change from American women whose goal is to make us conform to their mold.

 

Yea isn't it great.

 

Hmm someone deleated their message, I thought it was good. Yep time to quit whinning. Can't help the depression sometimes, but must fight it. Digging the sewer pipe I busted the other day. Will fix, then get back to the relandscaping so the little one will have a smooth yard to play in. Everyday I look for something to bring in money, or making the place better for their arrival.

197280[/snapback]

When I asked my wife to marry me, I seriously considered what I was asking her to get into. I am fortunate as hell that I have friends in my city who are chinese. So she will have them, and they are like her uncle and aunt. I also found a chinese/english christian church, and I really want to take her there on sundays. Are any of you particularly religious? or maybe OHMMMMMM. hehe.

197452[/snapback]

Maybe I should post some of this in a new thread. Anyway China has loosened its strangle on religion. At least with my church. There is now a Chinese congregation that no foreigner can go to in the afternoon in Beijing, or the chinese citizen can attend with her fiancee or spouse at the English speaking congregation in the morning. In 2002 no chinese citizen could attend at all. Bush may have helped in this area.

 

My church has an all Chineses congregation North of Dallas in Plano, TX and in other cities.

 

My wife said she will go to my Church in Beijing in 2 weeks. Back in Christmas/New Years she got aquainted with the girl who translates English to Chinese via headphones, and just happened to be going through this process where she is the American engaged to a Chinese man. Now they are married I heard from my wife the other day. She waited until he studied and believed and joined before she married him. I was not that smart as I thought it was still illegal for her to attend with me in Beijing. Have no idea what she will think of religion in the long run.

Edited March 12, 2006 by SheLikesME (see edit history)

[hunter]

Ron, they want us for who and what we are. I love that about them. What a refreshing change from American women whose goal is to make us conform to their mold.

 

Yea isn't it great.

 

Hmm someone deleated their message, I thought it was good. Yep time to quit whinning. Can't help the depression sometimes, but must fight it. Digging the sewer pipe I busted the other day. Will fix, then get back to the relandscaping so the little one will have a smooth yard to play in. Everyday I look for something to bring in money, or making the place better for their arrival.

197280[/snapback]

When I asked my wife to marry me, I seriously considered what I was asking her to get into. I am fortunate as hell that I have friends in my city who are chinese. So she will have them, and they are like her uncle and aunt. I also found a chinese/english christian church, and I really want to take her there on sundays. Are any of you particularly religious? or maybe OHMMMMMM. hehe.

197452[/snapback]

Maybe I should post some of this in a new thread. Anyway China has loosened its strangle on religion. At least with my church. There is now a Chinese congregation that no foreigner can go to in the afternoon in Beijing, or the chinese citizen can attend with her fiancee or spouse at the English speaking congregation in the morning. In 2002 no chinese citizen could attend at all. Bush may have helped in this area.

 

My church has an all Chineses congregation North of Dallas in Plano, TX and in other cities.

 

My wife said she will go to my Church in Beijing in 2 weeks. Back in Christmas/New Years she got aquainted with the girl who translates English to Chinese via headphones, and just happened to be going through this process where she is the American engaged to a Chinese man. Now they are married I heard from my wife the other day. She waited until he studied and believed and joined before she married him. I was not that smart as I thought it was still illegal for her to attend with me in Beijing. Have no idea what she will think of religion in the long run.

197893[/snapback]

When I first went to China, in Tieling, we went to a catholic church. Just to see it. It was pretty delapidated and rustic looking. It is obvious there is no major money for the churches. My last trip to Tieling, we went to a

christian church, and there must have been 4 levels with 1000 people on each floor. I could not believe my eyes. I have to admit, I have come from the south in usa, and when I have gone to church it has been evangelical or penecostal. In China I did not feel what one would call the spirit of God. I think it will one day happen in china, and when it does, things will change dramatically.

[SheLikesME?]

When I first went to China, in Tieling, we went to a catholic church. Just to see it. It was pretty delapidated and rustic looking. It is obvious there is no major money for the churches. My last trip to Tieling, we went to a

christian church, and there must have been 4 levels with 1000 people on each floor. I could not believe my eyes. I have to admit, I have come from the south in usa, and when I have gone to church it has been evangelical or penecostal. In China I did not feel what one would call the spirit of God. I think it will one day happen in china, and when it does, things will change dramatically.

 

hunter I decided to talk a bit more about this in a new thread. Here is the link if interested. And thanks for inspiring me to tall my story about religion and China, and even a little about Bush.

 

http://candleforlove.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=16514