Charlotte

Totally agree!!!. Like the English saying goes: Do as the Romans do. Equivalent in Chinese: Ru Xiang Sui Shu. Otherwise people will shy away from you if you want to stick to your old hometown habit. B)

I have Chinese friends coming to have dinner with us. When they see my husband likes to put a lot of salt on his dish, they would instantly tell him: "You should not eat so much salt." Because of his well-rounded figure, many of them also told him he needs more excercise. Thank God my husband has trouble understand their English, partly their accent, partly his bad hearing. I have more than once told them: do not give people unwanted advice on those personal issues. But no one ever told them before. Amercans don't like to hear it just smile and walk away. But I know better -- they just do exactly what they would do in China. They don't think they just want to pick on foreigners -- foreigners just look too different. Follow up on another thread: when we were in Shanghai, my husband's weight was every taxi driver's conversation topic.

The salesgirl would be considered rude or would even lose her job if she did this in the USA. Just like you said, sometimes I looked at the certain style and wondering if I should try it. She would take a glance at me and told me coldly: "don't have your size." and go on with her business. I must say customer service is one vocabulary that Chinese have a long way to catch up!

Need to send you to a rehab center.

Tony's comment is more true to the fact that very few Chinese are overweight. When my hubby and I were in Shanghai, everywhere we go, people would look at him and some even wanted to pose for pictures with him with their camera. Overweight is not admirable, nor is the symbol of wealth. But a foreign devil like my hubby in Shanghai does look like a tourist attraction, especially his beer belly. My hubby even teased himself that he would pose as Buddha on a park bench to collect some money -- Years of American life certainly turned me into a chubby girl -- it was a rude awakening last summer in Shanghai that all my clothes would end up XL and XXL in China. What happened: I thought I was the most slender in my office and wear a moderate medium size, not skinny, but certainly not overweight by American standard. But my friends and family were ruthless when they saw me: Oh, you are fatter now than last time! Chinese like to comment on your appearance (health wise) when they see each other again. Get used to it while in China. It is considered very rude in US to do so. Please JMs avoid the weight comment, esp. to your in-laws.

Mick -- did anyone tell you? Shopping comes as a package deal from marrying a woman -- or a nickname, maybe? Congratulations, Li and Mick! A sign of relief finally -- happy relielf!!! Oh, BTY, Mick, no more bus ride!

Don, you are right: For all immigration visas: they only need to show up at 11AM at the gate. My daughter said they just come pick up the notice at the gate and bring out all the visas before 12PM and pass them out. She did not even go in. For all the K - visas, they have to drop their passports in the morning so that they can work on them and return them in the afternoon. For those who left their PPs at the interview, they probably are treated like the immigrantion visa pick up because they can work on the passports before they send out the notice.

Is your fiancee in Shanghai? If so, I believe the entire Shanghai batch got lost and they had to resend after so many of us inquired. They are supposed to send out notice the next day after they process the visa. My daughter's case was done on 2/13 and nothing came and I called on 2/23 and they mailed the EMS on 2/24. Go figure! Congratulations!!! The waiting game is finally over for you/

One observation I have when I first came here in states is that every house has a mail box that is totally open to access. This is beyond a Chinese comprehension because in China people locked their mail boxes. They would open a hole in the mail box and mailman can only drop the letter in, but no one can take it out without a key. Although mail theft is a punishable crime, it was still quite a shock to me: how can you ever catch one if someone steals from your mail box? Especially, unlike in China, there are so few people in the neighborhood. 10 years ago, Chinese did have any mail commercials like they do today. Many households did not have much mail if they don't have any children or friends out of town. Chinese were not as mobile as they are today. In a word, China is becoming more and more commercialized as well as westernized. I am happy to see what is becoming in my hometown, but at the same time, I also feel we have lost our innocence, simplicity of life as well as some treasurable tradition upon which I was brought up.

OK. CXI11 is busted !! We all know who you are girl :-) An unvaluable member to this community .... You mean INvaluable member to this community Maybe it is French spelling -- he is cleaning the house and typing on board -- forgive him, AZ

OK. CXI11 is busted !! We all know who you are girl :-) An unvaluable member to this community .... Did you have time to throw away your dirty socks yet? I thought Yuihu's visa would cut you out of here a little, no such luck!

Thanks,I like that idea too. Were full court powerball. Joseph, I lost your early thread about the visa situation putting a lot of stress on your relationshiop with your fiancee. I can fully relate to your situation. People around her in China would not understand why she is talking about going to US, and still here. They start 2nd guessing or wonder if it is for real. This would include her close family memebers. She would have no one to complain but you. But you feel like you are totally powerless and feel she does not understand how hard you tried. In my case, I am talking about my daughter here. Several times she would sound so upset over the phone that it made me upset too. One time she made me so mad that I slammed the phone after a very short conversation. My parents even call me from Shanghai and asked me if they lost her name in the pile. They also don't understand why I don't just use my "wai guo hua" (English) to speak to Washington DC to give her the visa. I can still explain far better than you can with my Chinese here. So Joseph, hang in there -- it should be over soon.

Name change! What happened to the cx11 handle? Smart people figure it out without me annoucing it. I think it is time to be legal on candle. Of course PJ conspired with me. Thanks, PJ!

It is true though you have to know the language before you understand the humor. Nevertheless, most of the JMs on candle are already quite fluent in the language, it is not a problem of vocabulary; many times it is sense of language, the small words, phrases that become confusing to them. I hope we could expose them to all apects of American life to help ease their transition into this great American culture.

yes, if you become some BG type of person, we would know yours too.

Same is true in one's workplace where salaries are highly guarded top secret in a company. I only know how much I get in a annual payraise. Of course in my financial position, I know about everyone else, but I can lose my job if I leak out the information. Unlike in China, colleagues know about each other' compensation or even their family members.

#1 A couple went to a marriage counselor. The wife complains: " My husband has not talked to me for 6 months." The counselor turned to the husband, "Is that true?" "Yep," said the man, "because I didn't want to interrupt her!" #2 Men can talk for hours on one topic; women don't even need a topic. #3 A man put up an ad to sell his Britannica Encyclopedia. The ad says: " Just married; wife knows everything!"

Stella, Ella will leave on the same day as my daughter. If you want to join the crowd, you need to ask your hubby to book you the flight from here. $500 one way- very good connection. email me for details if you want more information.

My goodness -- how can I get out of the German spell? I have one at home -- how did I manage to get one on candle? Seriously, I am glad to help out with our Chinese specialist for "foreigh devil" GGs -- Owen. Let me claim myself as a US specialist for "Chinese devil" jms. Feel free to throw out any questions and let all of us help one another. Owen: I am thinking about start a thread calling " Humor in America." During my years here, I found it difficult for Chinese to understand American humor, which is a very unique part of American culture here. My husband likes to twist something said and turn it into something very funny; many of my Chinese friends here usually don't get it first time around. I had to point it out , and then they burst into laughter. True, many things sound funny to Americans, but not to Chinese, or vice versa. I will start posting some good American jokes that Chinese might see funny too and go from there. If a joke is too political or culture related, we can make some footnote for the Chinese JMs to understand. After all, we don't have to be serious all the time. And I think everyone can contribute their jokes too, or even something really happened in their lives.

Hate to be a pain in you know what. But it looks like this is the only way we have. Joseph, you did the right thing -- don't give up until you get the notice. BTW: my husband gets worried now because I no longer need to go after GZ/CA/DOS. He said he is the only target left for me now!

Congratulations, Stella!. Very happy for you.

Let's throw some stones into the river of cultures and let the ripples grow far and wide. Yes, you are right, Owen, let's have some fun here!

You will get spanked if you don't get your house cleaned in 4 days. Get off candle and worked a little, ok --

Just something funny about early immigrants from Europe: At the POE, a lady was asked to fill out a form: here is how she did: Name: Marianne Schmidt Age: 35 Sex: No

This is a very typical and polite American way of approaching age question. In China, they would just say: Owen, how old are you? Another culture issue. In America, Owen can avoid the answer by just say -- old enough to be your uncle, etc. without offending anyone. But in China - it would be considered weird if he did not give a straightforward answer.