jasonzzzz

Vince, I agree with you about your comment of Indian people. However, we need to be cautious when we say anything negative about another culture or race. America is a good country in a sense that different people from various background can work together in harmony. It works only when people from one culture hides his negative opinions about another culture.

In theory, a permanent resident can petition a visa for spouse. In practice, currently, doing so would need to wait for more than 5 years for quota before doing anything, according to official DOS bulletin. That is, a permanent resident would be better off in waiting for citizenship before doing any visa petition for spouse. A F1 student or H1 worker can bring theirs spouses here immediately. Many of my friends brought their wives here, then got green cards for couples together.

Congratulations My fiancee paid an increased fee also. I think that we pay for the delay, and if we wait longer, we would pay even more ... She paid for it and said bye-bye to GZ happily.

My fiancee got her visa and she will be here within 2 weeks. Now I will be busy in preparing for the coming lives together, 7 months after interview Interview 8/28 Visa 3/26 Thank members of this sites for information, and wish anyone who is still waiting gets visa very soon.

My fiance received EMS today finally The timeline is interview 8/28 resubmit 1/6 resubmit 2/21 clearance 3/17 EMS sent 3/19 EMS received 3/23 I really hope that everybody still waiting can receive EMS very soon.

In US, parents’ main responsibility is to make their children independent as early as possible, starting from day once after birth. American babies sleep in their own beds while it is not rare that a 10 years Chinese child still sleep with parents. When a child falls down on ground, American parents would let the child stand up by own, and Chinese parents would dove to help the child; if not, the Chinese child will cry and wait his/her parents to come. American parents and American society in general focus on child’s independence while Chinese parent like to provide as much help as possible and advocate respect to old people. American people is allowed directly call his/her parent-in-law by first name; Doing so in China, a potential son-in-law would be kicked out door immediately. In China, it is impolite and rude to call by first name to a person who is higher level in a family tree, or who is older in age in the same level, as a result there are all kinds of special relationship titles to be called. How many different names/titles for an uncle? I can not count. American parents try very hard to push their children independent and children wants independent. Those parents are proud of that their children are independent and successful. However, some of them eventually need to live lonely lives by themselves at old ages, maybe receiving Christmas cards from children each year. Children are not legally responsible for old parents’ living. In China, many parents just do not want children independent, but give everything children need. They have responsibilities and rights. When they are very old, they may not have things like 401k, retirement plan, but their sons will and have to take care of them. The children are retirement plan. They can see their children and their grandchildren every day. Of course, it is a simplified version of the comparison. Also things are changing rapidly since China opened to the world. Many western concepts are being introduced into China. So things start to get mixed up.

Often time, I heard in US that a Chinese girl looks 10 years younger than its actual age. Maybe, it is not just younger appearance. It is quite possible that her social age, in term of independence and responsibilities in American view, is 10 years younger than her biological age. In most Chinese families, unmarried children live with their parents, with exception that the children attend a college in a different city and find job there. A living-with-parent adult daughter does not have any pressure to move out. Quite often, no matter how old they are, those adult daughters may never have opportunities to training themselves to be independent. Parents not only provide board and lodging, but only are responsible for finding school, job, or even for finding a boyfriend/husband for their daughters. Nowadays many parents release the boyfriend/husband-search right to their daughters. But they still reserve their veto right, which their daughters often honor. Many Chinese men prefer living-with-parent girls who seem naïve and childish to girls who look smart and independent and rent and live in their own apartments even their parents live in the same city. The reason is that a man would like to “customize” a simple and unsophisticated girl into a good wife that meets each individual need. Most Chinese men are proud of doing that. After all, I think that men, either Chinese or American, like young-looking, physically or emotionally, girls. It is worthy of doing some extra jobs before enjoying lifetime happiness. Traditionally in China, when a daughter is married to a man, the soon-to-be father-in-law would say some thing like this, “Now, I hand over my daughter to you. Please take a good care of her”. Her father not only hand over a daughter, he also hand over a parental responsibility for her daughter. Parents take parental responsibilities even their daughters get married. When there are arguments between new couples, the daughters would go back to her parent house, staying there until their husbands come to make apologies. When a baby is born, the grandparents take care of the baby. On other hand, a husband is supported to give gifts to his parents-in-law in some Holidays, and is not requited to give any to his girlfriend/wife traditionally. According to national family law, children have legal responsibility to put up their parents when parents have no ability to earn money. Parents are always important part of the family. In a word, the Chinese society does not require children to be independent. So many adult children in China, married or unmarried, dependent on their parents to live happy lives. This culture difference may pose some difficulties for young “immature” Chinese girls to live with their American boyfriends/husbands in the first few days and weeks. Being an adult by her biological age, she may have never attended a college to learn to live a self-independent life, and she may have never needed to live as adult in a house before. However, an American man regards her as an adult in American standard. He may treat her like an independent and responsible lover and friend. But he may not take some parental role to her fiancée/wife who just came from a family environment where she depends on her parents to live a normal life. When she does something wrong, if she is regarded as an adult, it hurts; if she is regarded as child, it is an opportunity to train her. This is my partial observation of one aspect of this topic.

Lori, my apology for incorrect info about you. In your original message, I only saw that you have been working for a US company for 3 years and I took a liberty in adding missing information to make a story a little complete. It was a typo for woman #3. They met 6 months ago, not "6 years".

PJ, I have not used php before, but it seems that you are using URL-rewrite to handle the session, i.e. the session id is a part of URL. If you could use cookie (or session cookie which is not persistent ) to handle session, do you think it would be more secure?

interview August 28 clearance: pending

Woman 1 ======= Zhijun, received EMS last Friday, got her F3 visa on 26th. “The EMS notice informed me to pick up my visa at 11:30AM. When I got the consular at 9AM, a 300 – 400 line had already formed. The total number of people to pick up their visa was about 400-500. Many had interviewed in August, some with interview in each month 9,10,11, 12, 1 and 2, even some in previous day. Included all kinds of visa. It seemed that family-based visa dominated. I waited in line for 2 hours, submitted some materials and got a notice in the morning. I went back to get my visa.” Woman 2 ======= Loriz, married and has living with her husband in USA for 3 years. Her father is visiting them. “Again, my GG is mad at me. He is angry because I told my father his financial situation. I think that my father asked me about it for just caring about me.” “Why did you tell you GG that your father knew his finance,” a girl advised. “By accident. My GG wanted to hire somebody to take bath for his dog. I told him that we need to save money for buying our own house, and that my daddy wanted his to improve money management skills. Then he knew and became angry” “You should tell him that your father just want to help…” “The culture difference is killing me. Even I have lived in USA for 3 years …” Woman 3 ======= Joyann, trying to find her love in internet. “I meet an American man 6 years ago through internet. We chatted every day. He mailed me his pictures, very healthy and handsome. Gradually, I felt that I fell in love with him, and he said that he loved me too. He told me that he wanted to petition for k1 visa for me 2 month ago, and asked me for all personal information and pictures. I did what he told me, and also some sexy, very private pictures of me to him as his request. Yesterday, he told that all information about him were not true. He is disabled, has been in wheelchair for 18 years. His real age is 11 years older than what he told me before. But he said that he loves me. What should I do?” “Ask him to come to visit you. Two persons have to meet together physically for k1 visa petition,” one girl suggested. “I received another letter. He said that he is a matchmaker, making his living by matching Chinese girls to old American men.”

Unfortunately, this servlet wouldn’t run. Are you going to import the “com.life.is.great” package from DOS, FBI or GZ? You may find out that the package they are delivering is corrupted.

PJ, It is good news that you are planning to write a book about your personal experiences. Your recent incident has touched many hearts in this group. You set a good example that how a man arise quickly from a disaster event, not indulging in sadness and angriness, get positive messages from it, and move on with stronger and more diligent spirit. Much more people can receive the positive messages by your publication. Are you planning to first publish it in Candle site? I am sure that all members of this site would like a pre-view, maybe a chapter a week or something?

Enjoy reading the planning of you guys for accompanying your loved ones to come here. For those who will pick up fiancée at destination terminal, a piece of advice: please try to give your Chinese fiancée a warm meal when she arrives. Here is a little story behind my advice. I knew a Chinese woman who fell in love with an American man when he worked in China, and they got married in American. When asked the difficulties in marriage, she talked about food, among many other things. She remembered clearly, after several years, the first meal that her American boyfriend gave to her when she arrived in airport. She did not like food on the plane, and she did not like the cold drink too. No body in China would like to drink ice water or other cold drink in winter. The first meal that her boyfriend offered to her was cold sandwich. It involves culture differences. First, in China, a best traditional way to entertain friends or relatives is providing good food. The quality of food determines the degree of hospitality. Second, a guest will never ask anything else than what a host offers originally. The problem of “cold sandwich” are two folds, it is cold, and it contains fresh and uncooked vegetables, none of them is bearable to eat in winter. After so many years, she still remembers it. The first meal is important, so feed your girls in proper way.

Congratulations. However, the place I live (Dallas Fort Worth area) is still in deep winter. The freezing rain and sleet storm has frozen the town. I hope that when sleet melt, my fiancee's visa flower will bloom.