Charlotte

Mick & Li, My best wishes to you both for your safe flight home! This is not a fun time for anyone at this wartime. But do your best to enjoy the cross occasion flights. This will be a unique experience for Li. She will never forget her first landing in the USA ever in her life time. Pleasant journey to you both!!

Yes, it is the tradition and one is expected to support their parents. Respecting the old and protecting the young is a virtue that is regarded highly in the society. Supporting one's parents is more of a moral issue than a legal issue. Due to the deficiency in the legal system, Chinese are more likely to judge a person's behavior on a moral standard than on a legal point to view. Most people don't want to be labeled as irresponsible children to their elders. They are to help their parents to the extend they can afford. Unlike in this country one only pays child support, in China, there is parent support court orders. This only happens when the child has income and does not want to support while the parents don't have any source of income, before the parents can depend on government welfare, they have to find out if the parent(s) have any children. If they do, then the burden is on the children to support the parent. If the son/daughter does not want to pay voluntarily, they can deduct it from the payroll directly before he/she even sees it. This happens to very few people, but it did happen - I know someone like this in person back then. But I don't know what the law is today -- regardless - supporting parent is undeniable responsibility in China -- which is why in China having children is important. Yes, more burdens are on boys and than girls in a family, if they have both. Like in my family, I have two brothers, although my parents have retirement pay, we still give cash to my parents on holiday occasions to let them have some extra money to spend. I don't have to do that and they will never ask for anything from me, but they can ask from my brothers. It is always nice to give. To this day, I still support my grandmother (91) whom I stayed with from 3 - 14 years old. I just love to see my eldors not worry about money when they see something they like to eat. As you all know food cost is very disproportionally high in China compared to their income. My brother in Canada and I also promise to help out my parents to buy new apartment this year. Seeing other people moving into better apartment, it looks really bad if we don't anything for my parents. In this country, the way I treat my parents could be labeled as a saint, but in China, I am just on the average!!!

Boy, I did not realize we moved from one fat state to another TX-PA. Now I know why -- here is our familiy song composed by me and hubby: "I love you, you love me; we are a chubby family...."

Ditto to Don's comment. It is very important that her name is spelled correctly. Your name is already irrelavant once she the visa. POE will check only her name only!

Address him " Sir" at work and "Baba" at home! When you have to call his name out loud in public, use last name only.

Alan and Kate, Glad to know you are having fun. Don't spend all the money there -- you need some to shop in States too. Have a wonderful trip and a safe flight home!

You are right, Owen. Unlike here, people like to mind others' business in China-- very much so. It is not that the girls don't understand the American GGs, they are pressured day to day by the people around them. Some really care, like family members and close friends. Others may just like to see it fail. You really can't blame anyone but just suck it up and calm them down as much as you can. In my case, no one should doubt my intention of bringing my daughter here, but this delay is so nerve-racking, even my mother called me one midnight urged by my father to ask me if I can use my wai quo hua (foreign tongue) to ask Washington about Lily'case. She even questioned: "Are you sure they did not forget her name in the computer?" I usually call them every two weeks, but still not enough to keep them off my back! This is getting harder and harder for those still waiting. I just hope all of you can tough it out. The result should be a sweet success in the end. Those of us who have had our visas will still be around for any support we can provide.

It is about the time to have someone chain you down a little. ! Congratulations and best of luck in your life together.

The POE would be the first stopover in USA, not in Canada or anywhere. For connecting flights, no additional paperwork is necessary if you have all the boarding passes for all connections. My daughter came from Shanghai to Pilly. She got 3 boarding passes at Pudong airport and got off the plan in Tokyo (no need to transport luggage) and went back on and POE is in Detroit and then flew to Pilly.

001 Girls: hang in there!!! As this visa delay turned from weeks to months, many of you many think: why going to America? The government is so screwed up!!! Some of you many decided to stay in China giving up their American dream - since all you had during the past few months has been a nightmare! I can feel your frustration and your doubt about the government is not unfounded. Please do not let this process overshadow your view about the America in general. The wait is difficult and very depressing. You can have mouths all over you and don't know how to answer all kinds of questions coming from your family and friends in China. But all governments have flaws, and the US government is no exception. Nevertheless, from my personal experience, there is more of a chance to register or win a complaint against a government office in the US than in any other countries in the world! The freedom the Americans enjoy here is no money can buy anywhere else. Although the action of this clearance process may stink, the intention is very logical and reasonable in the name of protecting the general public Americans. This visa mess is by far not what America is all about. Please give yourself and your fiance a little more time to wait this out and come to the US and then if you still don't like it, both of you can decide then where you want to live. But without being here, you will never know what you miss and what you don't miss in life. During the visa delay time, I asked my daughter if she wanted to give up coming here, her answer was emphatically a big "NO" because she was in 2001 for two months and knew what she would miss if she did not come! I had lived in Shanghai most of my life and last 13 years in the US. I visited my hometown in 1997, 2000 and 2002. I can tell you this much: I always enjoyed my trip every time and also always glad to be back in states after each visit! Do not want to bore you with details, but feel free to email or PM me on any questions. In closing, I attach an email response to a candle JM a week ago, who has a visa already. She wrote me a very depressing email and asking for help. She is all happy now, but I think whatever I said to her may be applicable to some of your situations now: Hi XXX, Thank you for your letter. It is true, very upsetting this whole mess. Don't worry and don't give up. This should be over very soon. You need to tell your family and friends that you will wait forever to shut them up. I know how XXX feels about you and he is desperate. Please don't say anything more to make him feel powerless. I will help him find out more about your case tomorrow. He is so depressed because he knows you are upset now. Please let him know that he is a good man and you will wait for him as long as it takes. You should never let your family/friends' opinion influence your judgment. As long as you know that he is doing all he can do, you should be happy to have such a devoted fiance. He will make a very loving husband. Man like this is not easy to find anywhere. Even harder in China. We are looking forward to your coming here soon. I will give him a call tonight and calm him down, but when he calls you again, try to be understanding and be nice to him. I can tell he is worried about you. He sent me an email and left me a message today too. So please relax and I will help you the best I can. Rudi is very nice about it. He knows I am helping and he is very supportive of you and XXX -- together soon. Don't worry about it. I love to see you here as soon as possible. Take care, Charlotte

Rob - finally your dream girls are coming soon. So happy for you. You have been very calm and collected in the whole waiting process while helping all of us get the answers from the governement with your wonderful writing skills. Thank you very much! I am glad you finally have someone come watch out for you -- did I hear the word "diet"? She is a good cook, then you got a problem again!!!

Be prepared to wait for another 6-8 weeks for SS card here! 6-8 what? Sound familiar! Same Uncle Sam agencies -- they told me they need to check with INS for verification. I thought there should be a live feed to their SS office. Ooops, forgot their systems don't talk to each other, for which we paid the price of 7 months!!! I asked if the stamp is from the INS? He said he still needed to check. My step-daughter works for SS, she said this is the procedure now! What the heck, anyway get her here ASAP! At least you can wait together on this one. Congratulations!!!

Just think about her being here is a huge relief! On the night she was up in the air, I woke up every10-15 minutes during the 4 hours I was in bed. It would be easier if I were with her the whole time, which was the orignal plan in Aug. The final wait was just as nerve-racking if not any worse than the visa delay. You are welcome, Mick. We are all here for one another. Candle has been an emtional outlet for all of us. I hope we can continue this momentum and help the rest of blackholers as well as the newcomers. Even without this delay, the entire visa process is already a long drawn-out struggle for us. The delay is just adding more salt to the wound!!! Saw your GZ reunion pictures - What a view! Did you wish to be an octopus so that you could hold all those beautiful women in your 8 arms? Shuh, don't let Li hear it!

Thank you, guys for your warm and kind words. Yes, she is lucky to start her life in the US as easy as any kids grown up here. I remember where I was at 19 -- in the farm rice field!!! I promised her a college education and her first car -- VW beetle. The rest is on her own! She has a lot to adjust. Today she managed to read the instructions on the map and guided me to the SS office while I was driving. Quite proud of herself!

Hey, yours is next in line. We will come all the way to LV to celebrate with you!!!

Hi, everyone!!! My baby girl is here safe and sound -- 20 minutes ahead of schedule!! Other than a little cold carried over from Shanghai, she is well on the road to go! Don't I envy her age!!! Her passport was stamped for a temp green card -- one year and the real one will arrive 6-9 months. (Used to be 6-8 weeks, surprised?) Anyway, I am happy and will be around to hear more good news from everyone!!! I also like to thank all of you for helping me through this difficult, unnecessary and ridiculous waiting ordeal! http://www.visadelays.com/ViewAlbum.asp?album=45

AZ, keep the pressure until you hear from them. But just also be prepared get EMS any minute. I would not be surprised you receive a form letter reply from them after you have your visa in hand. As someone said earlier, the right hand does not know what the left hand is doing! --- State of visa processing business!!! Good luck and waiting to hear your good news any second!!!

China has started heading toward the market economy only since late 80's,which was about the time I left the country. At that time, majority of the busineses were state-owned, prices were state-controlled. Not much haggle you could do to those businesses.

When I left China in 1989, there was no haggling back then except on the farmer's market. The last few times I was in China, everything seemed so cheap to me that I did not bother to haggle and my daughter would always tell on me to my parents that I was cheated on the price. She would usually drag me away from the vendors and then they would want to give me a better price. Besides, many big departments stores in Shanghai do not allow haggling price. Any discount is cleared marked. My sister works in the #1 Department store (used to be the biggest) in Shanghai on Nanjiing Road. Even with her employee status we could not haggle the price. We had to pay what is marked, but on the other hand, these stores are more reasonable priced than those of street vendors.

My daughter lost hers too. No need to contact GZ. You need to go to the hostital that did your physicals and show the documents and they can take another one for you for 80 yuan -- she picked it up the next day! I asked several people who came from different POE, 90% did not even show the X-ray to them. But you never know; it is better safe than sorry!!!

No kidding! My brother in Canada still complained about his two nieces asking him for Hagen Daaz treat in Shanghai: 2 scoops =160 yuan, close to $20 here = 3 times what they would cost here ??? I am not quite sure! If any of K girls want Chinese food, you have to take them to Chinatown restaurants, where most Chinese are dining. The restaurants in your neighborhood are mostly American Chinese food for Americans' consumption only. I often go there because my husband likes them and I don't have cook. Unless you know the chef, who should be a native Chinese, and you can ask for something special that is not on the menu. In many Chinese restaurants in TX, chefs are mexians, who cook with pre-prepared sauces. They just simply can't whip up something hometown flavor. All the dishes taste similiar! After so many years here in this country, I still miss my Shanghai food. As I read somewhere: one can't change his taste for food, but surely he can develop the taste for different type of foods. It seems true since I love American steaks, spareribs, German bratwurst and saurbratten, but still in the back of my mind, I would like sneak back to Shanghai for some real hometown food. Hush, hush.. don't tell my hubby....

Congratulations, Jennifer! I can hear your laughter all the way across the Pacific!!! Very happy for you. Hoping for more good news from everyone!

Welcome to America Yuhui!!! Happy for you Eric and for us too, so we don't have to see you too often on CDL -- give others some space too. PJ found out your posts take up too much memory. Congratultions -- all your hard work paid off!

Hey forget about Denver -- Jon wants to get out of town with her bride!!!! Just kidding, Jon. Rocky National park is very nice --Aspen is a beautiful town. Don't mind going there again. My head of household would love it!!! By the way, AZwalfman: If they decide on a cruise today, I will start to waitressing in a restaurant this weekend.

Disney world would be too hot in June. I was there in late May for a convention one year -- boy, the FL mosquitoes were brutal -- and it was very humid in May already -- feel like Shanghai's summer. All those choices are good: Orlando, Vegas, Hawaii. All depends on what time of the year. We want to enjoy the resorts/attraction, as well as meeting friends on candle, but don't want the weather becomes a problem to enjoy it to the fullest. Good idea to have a party, Bob. If it happens in summer, Northeast would be a good place; summer: southwest. I don't think a central location is necessary since most people will get a direct flight easily if it is fairly large airport. Someone suggested a cruise -- like that idea too -- more suitable for reunion type since people are not running in 10 directions. Just think out loud -- don't shoot me. I don't know if I can go to any of those -- I need to consult with "King of the household." B)