carl.hops

Well, I thought it went along with misunderstanding your lass, and your lass misunderstanding you nicely.

We had a lot of them, so many that even if I thought she said something she didn't mean I would take a step back and think about it then ask her what she meant in detail. Have any of you made some misunderstandings when speaking Mandarin? Here is a newsletter I get from a helpful website called Laowai Chinese: I had a guy who came to my first (ever) English corner in China who was obsessed with little idioms and sayings. I called him ¡°Jingle¡± because everything he said sounded like it had come out of a TV commercial. Me: So now let¡¯s hear from one of the students on that same question: What¡¯s your idea of a good friend? Jingle: A friend in need is a friend indeed. Me: Umm¡­ok, thanks for that. Would you care to explain or give an example of what you mean? Jingle: I just mean that two heads are better than one. Me: Well¡­umm¡­that¡¯s not exactly¡­ Someone else: (interrupting) Have you seen Titanic? Jingle: Professionals built the Titanic, but amateurs built the ark. Me: Ok¡­well¡­sadly, we¡¯re out of time now. Jingle: Time flies like an arrow. Me: I don¡¯t know what that means. I wish I were exaggerating, but I¡¯m not. That¡¯s how it happened. It wasn¡¯t exactly what you¡¯d call a ¡°conversation.¡± And I¡¯ve met other Jingles from time to time in my years in China. What¡¯s happened is: they¡¯ve gotten a book of English proverbs and idioms and just slurped them up without any real understanding of the nuances of their meanings or situations in which they¡¯d be appropriate to use. Well, we¡¯ve got to be careful of the same sort of thing. There are times when we think we know what an idiom means, but the connotations in Chinese are totally different (or different enough) to cause some real problems. Even if the words translate the same, we may be dealing with a ¡°false friend.¡± Exhibit A: ¡°Actions Speak Louder than Words¡± My second (ever) week in China, I was invited to a fancy dinner with the other two foreign teachers and the bigwigs of the college. It was a small gathering of about a dozen, and needless to say, my Chinese was pretty basic at that point. A few days earlier, I had just learned: shu¨­ b¨´r¨² zu¨° ˵²»Èç×÷ The literal Chinese translation is ¡°Speaking is not better than doing.¡± From the context I had learned it in, I was sure it meant ¡°Actions speak louder than words.¡± To cut a long (and painful) story short, the president of the college asked me something at one point during the dinner and one of the English department leaders translated it into English for me. I replied with ¡°shu¨­ b¨´r¨² zu¨°¡± to mean that I would prove my loyalty to the school not by what I said but by my actions. If it had actually meant ¡°Actions speak louder than words,¡± I would have been fine. In fact, a much better translation of that phrase would be ¡°Talk is cheap.¡± Because of the context, the president could have taken that as my insulting him. He could have thought I was saying ¡°All this talk at a fancy dinner is worthless¡± (a lot of talking, an toasting, goes on at those events). At the time I said it, I got the feeling something was wrong but it was only later that I learned what a blunder that had been. It made me want to steer clear of all idioms (overreacting, I know). Even though I knew what all the words meant, I didn¡¯t have a good grasp of the connotations. It turned out to be a false friend. Exhibit B: ¡°We¡¯re in the Same Boat¡± When the S¨¬chu¨¡n d¨¤ d¨¬zh¨¨n ËÄ´¨´óµØÕð stuck, my classes of English majors wanted to talk about it. People were talking about the tragedy and all the hardships the people of Sichuan were enduring. After the earthquake, because of landslides blocking rivers, the threat of flooding was reaching critical. At one point, when asked for her opinion, a girl simply said, ¡°I think we¡¯re all in the same boat, don¡¯t you think so?¡± I said, ¡°We¡¯ll, I don¡¯t think we¡¯re exactly in the same boat but we¡¯re trying to understand them.¡± Well, let me tell you, that became a HUGE issue. I was lucky I found out about it the next week. The students were furious (and had been talking about it) and said I was ¡°discriminating¡± against Chinese people (whatever that meant!) and couldn¡¯t believe I¡¯d said that. I was shocked that my little comment about figurative boats had caused such an uproar, so I asked a thousand questions and finally figured out the problem. If you¡¯ll look at the first two entries here (a resource not available to me in class), you¡¯ll see that ¡°in the same boat¡± in Chinese includes feelings of solidarity and helping each other. I explained to the class that in English, ¡°In the same boat¡± just means we¡¯ve found ourselves in the same situation. But, since our buildings hadn¡¯t fallen down, our friends and family members hadn¡¯t been killed, and we are not worried about flooding, I said we aren¡¯t in the same boat as the Sichuan people. ¡°But that doesn¡¯t mean I don¡¯t care about them or want to help them. I myself donated money to the earthquake victims at that little table in front of cafeteria number 1!¡± I explained. That cleared it all up for them and we all breathed a huge sigh of relief. ¡°In the same boat¡± is a false friend in Chinese because the words are the same, but the meaning isn¡¯t exactly. It¡¯s more about ¡°h¨´xi¨¡ng b¨¡ngzh¨´¡± »¥Ïà°ïÖú (helping each other) in Chinese, and the English idiom doesn¡¯t necessarily have that meaning. Oh, and about Traveling¡­ In class last week, I asked my students why we had to make up our Monday and Tuesday classes on Saturday and Sunday (as we always do for these ¡°week-long¡± holidays). The answer is: so we can have 7 days off in a row even though there are officially only 3 days of vacation (3 real + 2 made up + 2 next weekend = 7). I posited that the idea behind 7 days in a row was to allow people to travel farther. But the class shook their heads. I was dead wrong. I said, ¡°Ok, if it¡¯s not for traveling, what is the reason?¡± My student answered, ¡°For example, if a worker has gone out of town to work, and his home is very far away, he can go back home because there are 7 days in a row.¡± ¡°That¡¯s what I said! It¡¯s so people can travel farther.¡± And then the nickel dropped. I continued, ¡°Oh! When I said ¡®travel¡¯ you were thinking ¡®l¨·y¨®u¡¯ ÂÃÓÎ, right?¡± ¡°YES!¡± ¡°And l¨·y¨®u is always for fun, right?¡± ¡°RIGHT!¡± ¡°But a worker going home is not l¨·y¨®u-ing, right?¡± ¡°RIGHT!¡± ¡°Ok, ok, ok. In English ¡®travel¡¯ simply means going from one place to another, which is usually for fun, but a business trip is also traveling, so is going home.¡± ¡°OH!¡± Not exactly a false-friend idiom. More like a divergent concept, but I still had to throw it in.

That may be a bit over my head at this point, but I'll definitely be reading.

Similar to Carl, my first love was a Korean foreign exchange student when I was in high school, I've always been attracted to Asian women and I've always had an interest in different cultures, I have many friends I've talked to from around the world that I still talk to, some I've met some I haven't so its only natural that I would talk to women from Asia. And its only the good chances I've had by doing so that has found me someone special, her English is good and I find it fun to help with that as I am learning hers, I do speak more than a lick of Mandarin and her English is not bad. People who worry about why we decide to be with someone from so far away, need to worry about themselves first instead of judging others. We all have our own ideas, interests and wants in life.

Both sides have a lot to learn from each other, I think were doing a fairly good job. I think we would be doing a lot better job if we didn't have media (in both places) spouting out crap all the time.

Please don't bring meat, or anything else that you shouldn't through PDX customs. It makes my work day longer

That's a really sad reality a lot of people live in, I hope she was able to find someone to help her (not a man searching for a concubine).

I live with my sister and my five nephews, and I have to say that my sister has a hard time disciplining them all. My brother in law works night and day, I only see him on Sundays and I wouldn't / couldn't be the punisher. This has led to them acting in such a way that tonight the littlest boy pinched his grandmother and yelled at her, one of them has ADHD and has given a lot of bad examples to the others, but I think they are all good kids. Its a lack of dad being there to keep them straight, we cant all be rich and afford to have the time to be with our loved ones as much as we need and would like. China will change, its already started.

USCONGUZ has stated that the VO for a particular would not even SEE the file until right before the interview). That would debunk the assumption that our case is already pre-determined before the interview wouldn't it?

Wow it sounds like he really did his job well, good stuff! Happy ending.

I'm doing a bit of budgeting and I'm not seeing anywhere in the FAQ how much SSN, EAD etc costs. After filing with AOS, about how much are they taking from my pocket? Not looking for a real solid answer, in the ball park.

Congratulations and I hope everything goes great in Guangzhou! =)

Hey, have fun. Don't wear him out right before the interview though! You want him tip top!

Exactly what I was suggesting, honesty. You arnt trying to hide anything, so why not tell them? Better that then them finding out at the interview. When lei got her passport at the local police station she found that her given name was spelled wrong in their records. We adressed this issue before it became a problem by adding a supplementry document in our I-129F explaining what she found and that she had it changed ( regarding the question of name change ) in retrospect that probably was the cause in our petition taking a month longer but the petition was accepted and she also passed the name check during NVC's processing. I dont suspect we will have any problems with this, maybe a question during the interview, that is better than a denial or hold up in processing because they saw a name change.

I would simply write a letter explaining this as you have with us and have it noterized, maybe even have the office who issued the devorce cert write a letter. Make it clear to them, better not to leave them geussing right?

Thats extremely fast! If it was the CSC I would be even more impressed. Welcome, hope your wait isn't as long as most of us.

Thats horrible, I hope nothings being done out of spite.

Thanks for taking the time to tell us how the interview wnt, valuable stuff. I may have to come back home with out her if it takes us 6 days to get the visa.

Thanks for the info, I'll try and break this lightly to her. I don't plan on having her mom stay here illegally, that would be against everything I'm doing now to get lei here. But maybe she can come for a visit to ease the long wait for lei to become a citizen if she chooses to be. (shes still undecided).

Looks like you got in a bit of a snag your self at the end! For anyone who cares, I think mine took extra time because of all the evidence I put in! It was about an inch and a half thick when I sent it and I'm sure its only grown. Welcome new members! =) Hope we all get the P3 very soon

Congrats! Looking at some peoples time line my visa process has taken much longer O.o but were in the 59 group so it will all be over soon!!!

Mom wants to come and lao po doesn't even have a date yet! She is pretty much attached to the hip, so I'm wondering how long do we have to wait / what do we need to do first before we can bring her here and what visa options do we have? Lei is worried it could be a long time before her mom will be with us. And I could definitely use a babysitter once we have a little one! B)

I was under the impression that you had the option of having it mailed home, considering Im only being given a week off to go to the interview Im not sure which idea would be better. Not much time to do an interview and wait for a visa + go back to Jiangsu and pack!

congrats!, Have a wonderful time!

Ah the police have control of the cameras, this should ease your mind.