frank1538

Reminds me of a true story. A buddy and his family (wife and two small daughters) had traveled to Arizona - with about six suitcases. Upon the return to Atlanta, there was no luggage to claim - lost. I asked him if he was upset. Hell no, he said. I didn't have to lug six suitcases out to the car, and the airlines delivered them to my house the next morning while I was drinking coffee and reading the paper. Couldn't have asked for anything better.

Jingwen finally got her AP and is heading to Zhanjiang on Wednesday. I'll join her sometime towards the end of October (limited vacation). We'll be back in the states early November. To all you Zhanjiangers. Need anything done while we're there? Please, no requests for fresh seafood.

Just some random thoughts. I don't see a connection between EAD/AP and the green card. I may be wrong, but I doubt that either confers any additional rights to a green card. Again, I'm speculating here, but if she came to the US on a K-1, she is going or will be going through an adjustment of status process which will usually require an interview if you are still married. I think you'll be involved in this interview, so this may give you an opportunity to raise the legitimacy issues with USCIS. If she divorces you and claims abuse, she might be able to remain in the US without remarrying. But, as enight points out, even without a claim of abuse, she can marry someone else and still go for the green card. Sorry to hear about your problem.

Jingwen thinks that driving school is too expensive for the kids. I may have to try logic, like it's less expensive that a $4,000 repair bill or it's less expensive than a heart attack. You're a smart man, Ty, and I bet you're holding up a lot better than I am.

I'm developing a theory about Chinese drivers. KK and Minghao, my step children, have been passengers in my car since their arrival in February, so I figured they would have picked up a few pointers about driving in the US. NOT. They both have their learner's licenses, but it seems that their approach to driving is much like their approach to walking in China. Here's my theory. In China, many people tend to walk with eyes forward and not be too concerned with people walking slightly behind them to the right or left. Peripheral vision is not used that much. You just walk and don't worry about too much. Minghao's driving is almost identical. He could care less about who's behind him or who's in the next lane as long as the car is not in front of him. This was most apparent when he pulled up to a yield sign, looked straight ahead and motored on. "Minghao, do you know what that sign says"? "Yes, yield". "Do you know what that means"? "Yes, it means that I can go if there are no cars around." "Okay, did you look to the left, right, or behind you"? "No, but I didn't see any cars in front of me." Fortunately, there was no traffic, but my heart is just too old for this. KK has yet to understand speed bumps. Actually, I don't either - always liked the German car commercial that went something like "We don't know who invented the speed bump, but we'll bet he wasn't German". KK has yet to venture onto the public roads, so we have been spending time in various parking lots. But, I can tell you that going 25 mph over a 10 mph speed bump does things to a car that were never engineered into the suspension. "Oops" is her usual response to the sound of bending steel and a car whose front end just went out of alignment. "S**t" is my usual response to my head being jerked around like a bobble doll. Not once, not twice, but every time. I'd better get that clunker soon or my car will surely end up in the shop.

If I recall, the I-134 needs to be notarized. I would be reluctant to fax her a notarized copy. If time permits get dear ol' dad to express an original. Maybe to be safe, have one faxed and one expressed to her. Hate to see her go into the interview empty handed. A faxed copy is better than nothing if DHL can't get the original to you in time.

This is a very tough question for me to answer. It's almost impossible for me to say why I married a woman from China rather than to say why I married Jingwen. In my compartmentalized head, I have had to re-frame the question as ¡°was the fact that Jingwen is from China a factor and, if so, why¡±? To this question, I answer yes, the fact that she is Chinese did have a bearing. But, I am sure as I write this, that Jingwen as a person and my wife will slip back in rather than Jingwen as a Chinese woman. When Jingwen and I started corresponding, so many thoughts went through my mind about trying to develop a long distance relationship with a woman from China. As I look back now, I recall several things besides the obvious (distance, language, immigration challenges, etc). First, there was the excitement factor ¨C corresponding with a woman from the Far East, learning about her customs and traditions, seeing how she lives, and understanding her economic conditions. I thought that one couldn't get further from America than with a woman from China, and I found the differences both fascinating and alluring. I had been to China before, and found the country to be something to behold. Without sounding paternalistic, I also sensed in me a need to expose my then fianc¨¦e to a different and perhaps better life. Whether western lifestyles are better is debatable, but at the time, I felt a desire to be able to help this woman see what else life had to offer, both from a material perspective and socio-political perspective. I don¡¯t think I could have said the same about a woman from Japan or Korea. In my mind, Japan just seemed too modern, having already embraced many western attitudes and lifestyle options, and every time I think of Korea, I think of Seoul, another partially westernized city. I may be way off base with my perceptions of Japan and Korea, but, in my mind, it was China or nothing. A Chinese woman just seemed further from the West, and I wanted to show her these new and exciting things in just the same way that she was showing me new and exciting things. Jingwen¡¯s children were passing through their last teenage years, and I also knew that she wanted things better for them. Jingwen is by no means destitute. She owns her apartment in Zhanjiang where her mom and dad (now deceased) live. Most of her sisters had married well and live very comfortable lives in China, but I sensed that something was lacking. It was as if she was resigned to the fact that she was over 40 and this single mother life of hers was going to be the same until the end. She had raised two wonderful children without a father, but despite an extended family, I knew that life was hard. She does not have a formal education, nor do the children, and I knew I could provide at least the children with opportunities that did not seem to exist in China. From my own selfish perspective, I had tired of the high maintenance associated with marriage to an American, not only during the marriage but after my ex filed for divorce. To paraphrase Lewis Grizzard (divorced 5 times, I think), he finally got tired of divorce so, rather than getting married and then divorced, he said that every five years he would just find a woman he hated and buy her a house. Personally, I was sick and tired of the meanness that often comes from someone having money and wanting more. When someone initiates the divorce, as my ex did, I can tell you from personal experience, it¡¯s all about money and how much she thinks she deserves. After all, it was hers during the marriage, so it should be hers after the divorce. Again, it is hard to keep Jingwen and ¡°Chinese woman¡± separate, but I felt that greed was not a driver for many Chinese women. Money perhaps, a better life perhaps, more choices perhaps, but rarely greed in its pure and evil sense. Jingwen was a breath of fresh air, a woman whose focus was on the family and her husband. This suited me just fine since my focus is on my wife.

My sense is this. If you are looking for a lawyer to speed up the process associated with regular K processing, forget it. Chances are that a lawyer who claims that he or she can get your visa more quickly is feeding you a line. If you are looking for a lawyer to cross check your petitions, applications, and supporting evidence, make sure he or she has experience with K visa processing, not just immigration law in general. I used a lawyer primarily for this reason. If you are looking down the road, make sure your lawyer has extensive experience with the consulate in Guangzhou. Again, chances are that an experienced family visa lawyer's expetise might lie with USCIS (US side) and not with GZ. Essentially, lawyers who might assist in processing an I-129F will have to rely on you to provide all of the information. Here, an experienced family visa lawyer might be useful in explaining exactly what information you will need, but remember that you will be doing all of the legwork. The lawyer will probably take your information, put it on the forms and send it off. When hiring a lawyer, make sure your fee arrangement covers both the USCIS and the DOS filings. Many lawyers will help you with the I-129F, but leave you on your own or charge you more for the actual visa application that is filed with State.

Robert, glad to hear from you. I've been trying your cell phone, but can't seem to get through. There's always a place here in Atlanta for wayward storm refugees. Atlanta is just getting lots of rain and some wind but not too bad. Anyone hear from Mick and his family? Trigg in Tennessee?

School was called on account of rain today (remnants of Ivan), so I took the kids to get their learner's licenses. KK, my step-daughter failed the sign test, but Minghao, my step-son passed both the sign and written tests. It turned out that he failed the first time because he answered the example as #1, answered #1 as #2, etc. thereby putting all answers out of sequence. I have now been through the lines four times. The first time, the lady refused to let Minghao sit for the test because I didn't have a copy of my marriage certificate with me so I guess I wasn't his step-father. Went home and got the certificate and got back in line. Went to another attendant who didn't even bother to ask for it. It didn't make any difference since Minghao failed the first time. The third trip through the line for Minghao to re-take the test brought a statement from the lady that Minghao's K-2/I-94 were expired so he didn't have proof of legal residence in the US. I did everything to keep from jumping across the counter and wringing her neck. But, I pointed out that he had his EAD and SSN, that K-2 status is irrelevant since his mom and I were married, that we had filed for AOS, etc. She could tell that I was ready to blow a gasket, I think, because she went ahead a processed the paperwork. The fourth trip through the line for KK brought me to this same lady. This time, she had no remarks or comments. Now, I guess I'll have to bite the bullet and inform my insurance company. Buddy, can you spare a dime?

I agree. I was pleasantly surprised. I'll bet you a dollar to a donut that the root stock is European or California-European.

Writing your congress person is good for one and only one reason: it gives you an opportunity to bitch at someone while you wait and wait and wait. If things are progressing "normally" and by that I mean consistent with the sloooooooooow timelines experienced by others, there is little that a congress person can do. But, if something really out of the ordinary happens, a congressional inquiry might be helpful.

Glad to hear the news. Make sure your insurance is up to date on that beautiful car you drive. Minghao and now his sister will go for the written test on Saturday. I hope either both pass or both fail. If one passes and the other does not, there will be at least one very moody person in the house. And, you can bet the ranch on this. I ain't paying $1,500 to get either of them a license, but the chances are that the increase in my insurance premiums will be about the same.

Like your wife, Jingwen does not drink or smoke, and like you, I do. But, Jingwen read somewhere in a Chinese magazine that red wine is good for you. Since reading that article, she will drink a glass of wine with dinner usually with a cube of ice or a little cream soda to cut the taste. That's a good thing because I hate to drink alone.

Sorry you had to learn this the hard way. Hopefully, other than the loss of time, nothing serious will come from the lawyer's f**k-up. Using a good immigration attorney who knows about family visas (not just work visas) will give you another set of eyes to double check things, but if the lawyer doesn't know much about family visa processing, you're likely to be disappointed. There's probably more collective wisdom here at CFL.

Maybe someone can shed some light on this, but I have heard that genetics may have a bearing on one's ability to "hold his liquor". Surely, my weight had something to do with being able to match shots with folks, but I have also been told that as a general proposition, Westerners have a higher tolerance for alcohol.

Have you been enjoying your soup made with 12-year-old scotch? Can't seem to get her to stop using the Scotch, but I've hidden the really good stuff. I have taught Jingwen to drink Scotch straight, with just a cube or two of ice. Even though she is not a drinker, she does enjoy a short glass every now and then.

At least she's drinking it and not cooking with it.

Well, Minghao, my 18 year old step-son went with Jingwen and me to get his learner's license today. Two tests - 40 questions in all, 20 in Chinese. He was a bit cocky about it, having gotten a "practice test" from one of his buds at school to study. Total time in the testing room was about 10 minutes. He passed the road sign test but flunked the law test miserably (got 4 out of 20). He was incredulous. Jingwen said no problem. Let's give the official some money and get the license. I had to tell her that we don't do these things in America. She wasn't too happy about it, but she understood. Poor Minghao is still claiming that the test was rigged. He also claims the questions were the same as the practice test. So much for short cuts. The only downside in his learning the hard way about studying, is that we waited about 6 hours at the DMV to take the test. He'll try again next weekend. Maybe he'll study the old fashioned way, like reading the driver's manual.

Yep, gotta be careful. At our ceremonial wedding dinner, I made the obligatory rounds of the various tables, "cheering" with many different men. One guy, who I think had a thing for Jingwen kept raising his glass, saying cheers. Jingwen advised me to be careful, he's jealous and just wants to get me drunk. My response to Jingwen and the man was something to the effect that you don't want to do shots with an American who weighs 50 lbs more and can hold his liquor. The man was carried home that night. I went home to a wonderful bed and beautiful wife.

Jingwen topped 100 lbs and went ballistic. She places the blame on a sedentary life. I agree wholeheartedly. While in China, we walked everywhere. Here, we take the car. Funny though - there's a small strip mall about a mile from the house. When Jingwen wants to go, I ask her if she would like to walk. No, let's drive.

Geez. This is great. I guess goods things do come in threes (you, cosmic, and Gene). Good luck to you.

You're rolling along at a good clip. Congratulations. Keep it up. It'll be over soon. Good luck on the downhill side.

Great news about the P3. It's getting close. Sound like a wonderful Christmas present is in the works. Best of luck.

I have stated on a number of occasions that Jingwen prefers fatty cuts of meat. No strips or tenderloins in this household. I had always thought that it was the flavor that fat gives food that was the driver here. Last night, I posed the question to Jingwen - why so much fat. I should have anticipated her response. She said that fat is flavorful and easier to chew than meat. Ah, the light bulb went on. In China, she was used to the lesser cuts of meat where tough chewing beef or pork might be the norm. I have tried to get her to buy leaner but more tender cuts of beef, but she still goes for the shank. Maybe I should just buy some beef myself and sneak it into the freezer and see what she does with it.