frank1538

Best of luck to you guys. Maybe you are just the first of many February interviews. Jingwen's interview was in February of last year, so I consider February a very good month.

Go for it, Frank. I would be an interesting read. Your wish is my command. This was written for Monte, a CFL member who married a woman in Zhanjiang. Monte, here goes. Just a couple of preliminary observations. Bring plenty of money or at least have access to it. It is Chinese tradition that the man pays for everything, and I mean everything. The basis seems to be that the man is now compensating the family for having taken care of a "worthless" woman for so many years. Of course, this is totally opposite of the tradition in the US. Next, be totally flexible and enjoy the experience. As I indicated earlier, mine was a quasi traditional wedding ceremony, and we did not register the wedding. But, let me tell you. While the government may not recognize the marriage, Jingwen and I sure do. Now, for the details. Picture Taking Before the Wedding. On the day before the wedding, we had pictures taken - almost an obsession among the Chinese. It was an all day affair. We started at the studio. All clothes, wedding gowns, everything, are rented for that day as well as the bride's clothes for the actual ceremony the next day. For the pictures, you will probably dress in traditional Chinese clothing, black tuxedos, white tuxedos, and maybe other garments, depending on how elaborate the picture taking will be. Ruwei will also have a variety of gowns, including the wedding gown, and the traditional red slit dress. Most of the studio shots were formal - not many candid shots. After the studio session, we went on location, to the parks, the water, and the gardens around town for more picture taking. The photo studio took care of everything. Most shots were posed. It will wear you out, but it was a lot of fun. I am trying to remember what the cost was for this. Don't hold me to it, but I think it ran about $300. Your Wedding Clothes. After the picture taking, we had to go shopping for my wedding clothes. Apparently, it is Chinese tradition that the groom have all new clothes. So, off to the department store to buy everything, including underwear. I bought a white shirt, reddish maroon tie, navy trousers, reddish maroon socks, and, of course, skimpy underwear (Jingwen's choice). Jingwen did not press for a jacket since it was very hot (August). The Night Before the Wedding. I had been staying at Jingwen's apartment (her parents live with her), but, for the night before the wedding, I got kicked out - stayed at the Hai Bin Hotel - not bad. That night after shopping, Jingwen's male friends came to the hotel, picked me up, and took me to a disco, kind of like a bachelor party - no women allowed. Unfortunately for me, it was Jingwen's female friends who spoke better English, but Jingwen was insistent that I have a male interpreter with me. So, she arranged for a kid from the local college to help with the language barrier. Great kid, terrible translator. Jingwen made all the plans for the party, so I had no idea what to expect. It was during this bachelor party that I met my best man for the first time. The role of the best man apparently is to make sure that the groom gets up the next morning to go through the courtship ritual. I can't remember my best man's name now, but he was great - a really nice guy. Anyhow, we went to the disco that night and drank beer. If you haven't learned about some of the bar games, you will learn about it here. Lots of dice games, and number games. Loser takes a drink, loser gets drunk. Lots of karaoke too. Some female barflies too. Incidentally, there doesn't seem to be a drinking age in China, so you'lll see teenagers drinking too, and just about every man smokes. Cigarettes are always shared. My translator kept saying that we should go home because we had a big day ahead of us. When I asked him what to expect, he said the biggest thing would be the dinner. He said we would need to be ready at 5. I assumed he meant 5:00 pm, the dinner. No problem, let's party. We drank a lot of beer and called its quits about 1:00 am. The best man took me home. In all honesty, I can't remember if I picked up the entire tab that night, but I know I made at least a significant contribution to the pot. My guess is that it ran about $100 for the entire night (private room, beer, and bar food). The Wedding Day. At 5:00 am, as in before daybreak, the best man, the interpreter, the photographer, and a bunch of my new drinking buddies are banging on the hotel door. The interpreter is saying we've got to go to Jingwen's apartment. WTF, I'm barely awake. But, everybody comes in, I grab a quick shower, and the photographer takes out his camcorder and begins recording everything. Well, I get dressed in my new clothes, and prepare the gifts. The best man brought a box of flowers to be used later in the day. Gifts. Here I think the customs vary depending on how traditional the family is. For me, this is what I brought. 1. The principal gift is the payment to the family. Nine is a lucky number in China, so I had 9,999 yuan (about $1,200) for the mother/father. All money gifts went into little red envelopes that we bought at the store when I was buying my clothes. This gift would be tendered to the father. 2. The wedding rings. Jingwen and I bought wedding rings to exchange on our wedding day. Platinum is preferred to gold in China. Again, we bought these while we were shopping for clothes. I don't remember the specific prices, but I figure about $200 for both. She took my ring home with her, and I took her ring with me to wrap (in red) to present to her later. I had previously given her an engagement ring during another visit, but this apparently is not a Chinese tradition. 3. A traditional teapot, cups, and tea. The teapot had a dragon and phoenix on it, the traditional symbols for male/female, yin/yang, and the state of marriage. This was given to mom (I think). 4. Special red chopsticks, to give to mom. 5. Marlboro cigarettes (red box, of course) to give to dad. 6. A wedding nightgown to give to Jingwen. 7. Matching birthstone ring, earrings, and necklace to give to Jingwen. 8. Li shi (pronounced lie see). These are red packets of money to be used later. Most were stuffed with a twenty dollar bill, but a few had $100 (US) in them. For some reason, there was a preference for US money for these packets. One gift that was given in advance to Jingwen was a new bed (frame and mattress). Tradition apparently calls for a new bridal bed for the new couple. I don't remember the cost of the bed, but I remember that we coupled the bed with some other renovations to the apartment (not traditionally required) for a total of about $1,000. Ok, gifts wrapped, and off we go, down to the car, provided by Jingwen's brother-in-law. I only take the ring with me. The car is decked out in flowers, ribbons, dolls, and assorted decorations, all provided by the guys (I guess). It is now about 6:00 am. We drive around town for a while, the photographer recording bits and pieces along the way, and we finally arrive at Jingwen's apartment. Apparently, she has been getting ready too. We knock on the door, and the apartment is full, mostly women friends, including the bridesmaid. As part of the tradition, they won't let me in. All the guys are shouting to open the door. All the women are saying no. Finally, the bridesmaid says that I must pay li shi to enter, and I hand over one of the packets with a twenty in it, and we are allowed to enter. Jingwen is decked out in her wedding gown, and I am asked to profess my love for her, and the best man is asked to do push ups (not sure why). We do this and then we exchange the rings and cheek kiss. No other public displays of affection. We then went into the living room where the parents, family, are senior relatives are waiting. First, I offer the 9,999 yuan packet to dad which is accepted. Always offer with both hands holding the offering. Then one of the sisters brought out some a sweet rice ball "soup" in each cup. We drink this and then I am given special tea. I offer the tea to dad and ask (in Chinese) if he would drink the tea. I can't remember the exact words, but Jingwen told me what to say - had to write it on my hand to remember. Then I did the same with mom and the oldest uncle. Jingwen repeated these offerings of tea, and everybody is cheering and laughing and having a grand time. I think I just got married. Then Jingwen and I head back down to the car and off we go for a little parade through town so everybody can see the new married couple, camcorder going of course. We end up back at the hotel where I give Jingwen the rest of the gifts. While in the hotel, I handed more of the li shi packets to family members and special guests - the $20 variety. A side note on gift giving. The Chinese do not express much in the way of thanks for a gift. At first, I thought that I might have offended someone or that the gift was inappropriate, but this is not the case. Gratitude is just not a common outward expression Here it gets a little foggy, but I think that we went for a late breakfast, mostly family members and close friends. I do remember such a breakfast at the hotel banquet hall, but I'm not sure about the day. After breakfast, I think, off we go again, camera running, to take more pictures in an around the hotel gardens. It is now late morning, and I'm starting to feel the heat (and lack of sleep). But, we had a grand time. The photographer again took snippets with the camcorder. I didn't realize it at the time, but he would later mix these snippets to produce a wonderful VCD. By late afternoon, we have finished with the picture taking and begin to work our way to the banquet hall at the hotel to prepare for the feast. Jingwen had made all the arrangements for the banquet, and I don't really remember much of the details on the kind of food we ate, so I don't know if there was some significance to menu. Anyway, Jingwen and I and the best man and bridesmaid stand outside of the hotel to greet the invited guests. As each arrived, I offered a cigarette to the man (from a special carton with double happiness symbols on it - brought by someone in the family, I guess). Each guest gave Jingwen a packet of money. Most stopped so that a group picture could be taken. The guests then went inside, while Jingwen and I waited for more to come. At some point during this procession, I gave the best man a li shi packet with the hundred in it, and Jingwen gave the bridesmaid a similar packet. After the last guest arrived, I escorted Jingwen into the banquet hall to recorded music up to the head table where the family and wedding party were seated. Various toasts were offered. A side note here - you will be expected to drink a little with every toast. For me, this was a white liquor, bai jiu, about 100-120 proof. The designed intent is to get the groom drunk before the evening is over. One other side note, When glasses are tapped in toasting, the person with the lower status taps his glass at the lower height, but I never could figure out it that meant the my glass was to be the higher or lower one. I used the rule of thumb that, if it was a family elder, I would toast low. We ate many courses during the evening, and drank much. I also had to go to each table and thank each group for coming. This necessitated more toasting and drinking. By this point in the evening, I was feeling pretty good. Sometime during the evening, Jingwen slipped out and changed from her wedding gown into her red slit dress. If I remember, the banquet was for about 70 or so people, and the total tab, including hall, food, and liquor, was about $600. The dinner banquet ended at about 11:00 pm, and many of the guests headed back with us to Jingwen's apartment and into the bedroom. The youngest boy and girl of the family (ages 2 and 4) were asked to jump up and down on the bed, on which there were 10-20 coins. This symbolized good fortune and many children. Then Jingwen and I had to perform a few games. She and I had to pick up a peanut, each of us holding one chipstick - a lot harder than it looks. We had to transfer an apple from under her chin to under my chin without the use of hands. She laid down on the bed and the women covered her with a handful of nuts, and I, blindfolded, had to use only my mouth to find the nuts. There were a few other games, but, by this time, I was exhausted. But, eventually, everyone left, and Jingwen and I had our first night together as lao po and lao gong. Monte, this is probably a lot more than you expected, but I hope it helps you figure out what will be in store for you. I'm sure you'lll have a wonderful time, and if you have any questions, drop my a line, and I'l try my best to answer them Frank

I gave a buddy a rather lengthy description of my ceremonial wedding in Zhanjiang to give him an idea of what to expect when he went to China to get married. Recognizing 1) this was written from the male perspective and 2) traditions vary from region to region, if you want this let me know. I think it's too lengthy to post on CFL, but I'd be happy to share it with you.

Take a look at http://candleforlove.com/forums/index....41b67ddc82e1fc3 which should help explain the category. Since you said that you'd be filing for EAD at the same time as the AOS, I think your category is (c )(9). Jingwen's AP is good for a year, and we filed with the local office. This was done after we had applied for AOS and EAD.

Good news Mark. I'd go with both, and I'd also consider dropping GZ a note, again reminding them of the need for expedited processing.

Good news. Maybe the I-130 will actually move faster than the I-129f. Good luck with the next phases.

I executed one original copy and attached two copies of supporting documents. Then I made a copy of the entire package, so Jingwen had two complete sets. Whether this was correct will never be known since the VO didn't bother to look at the I-134. Jingwen called the hospital (Health Care Center of Guangdong International Travel on Shamian Island, I think). They told her they would be closed for a week during Spring Festival, so we planned accordingly. She went up to Guangzhou a week of so before the interview and had her physical. We then went back two days before the interview to get the results.

Louisa, I'm assuming that you are legally married and as suggested, your plans for a wedding are aimed at a more formal family celebration. The first thing I would do is to double check the visa validity (IR-1? CR-1?). Usually immigrant visas have a six month validity. If this turns out to be the case, then your husband would have six months after the visa was issued to come to the US. Given your place in line with the P3, I would think that the visa would still be valid come June. Personally, I don't see why having a ceremonial wedding after the interview would look suspicious. If I were in your shoes, I probably wouldn't try to delay the process and I would take my chances on the interview scheduling.

I'm not sure how much it would help. Your English certificate might help establish that you were in China, but it doesn't necessarily mean that you were with your fiancee at this time unless there is other documentation that connects the two occurances (your being in China and your being with your fiancee). For example, if you have correspondence or something else that indicates that you met your fiancee while teaching in China, then I don't see much of a downside in providing the certificate. I'm a firm believer in giving GZ everything including the kitchen sink if it helps establish a relationship.

Congratulations. 2004 must have been a slow year for you with the whole visa process, but it sure had a happy ending. Best wishes.

Let out a big breath Mick. For all intents and purposes, the process has finally ended for Li and you. Congratulations and best wishes to you, Li, and Salina.

Next time you go in, do the following: 1. Raise both hands, shake the left hand and say "This is the left hand." 2. Shake the right hand and say "This is the right hand." 3. Say "Now watch the left hand looking at the right hand." 4. Use your right hand to give a one finger salute. 5. Say "You see, the left hand knows what the right hand is doing. Do you?"

You're right about the "no-show" problem. If you miss the first leg of the round trip, you're usually SOL on the return leg. Some options are 1) make reservations/buy tickets in China where the prices are actually a bit less; 2) buy round trip, with China -> US being the first leg; 3) buy one way tickets; 4) wait at CFL for one of the members from the travel industry to read your post and offer better advice.

A few scenarios come to mind, and only you can decide which is the right one: 1. She never recorded her first marriage and just walked away from it - no records. If so, a little bell should go off. 2. She recorded her first marriage but never legally divorced - no record of the divorce, but there should be a record of the first marriage. If so, a big bell should go off. 3. She recorded her first marriage and legally divorced but the records have been misplaced/destroyed by the government. If so, maybe there is an alternative to the notarial divorce document that the government can provide that will satisfy GZ. Hope this is the scenario. I'm with the majority on this. It is bad advice to consider lying on any visa application. Not to question your typing, but who is writing this post - the USC or the Chinese fiancee?

Both of Jingwen's kids, ages 18 and 20 at the time, required medical exams. I don't know if age makes a difference. The rule of thumb that I used during the process was since the kids were getting visas, anything required for mom's visa would apply to them. When in doubt, I always opted to provide more than less.

Well done, Kim AND WELL DONE FEI. I couldn't be happier for you two. Congratulations. Now it's time to enjoy your lives together. Best of luck.

I have always shown both addresses (English and Chinese) on anything I send to China. Since my computer/printer will print the address in Chinese, I had Jingwen send me an e-mail with her address in Chinese which I saved for future labels. As far as sending the P3 in Chinese, I really don't know other than to say that Jingwen's first P3 never arrived, and I ended up having to send the consulate her address in Chinese. Her second P3 was addressed in Chinese.

Good news John. Good luck at the interview.

There are several threads dealing with the telegraphic code and, no, it's not related to her phone number. It's a numerical representation of her Chinese name. Take a look at http://candleforlove.com/forums/index....8c8a14856c00dd5 which is one of the threads.

If you think we've got it bad with trying to get our fiance(e)s/spouses to the US (ok, we've got it bad), I was listening to NPR this morning where it is apparently a violation of immigration law for a Dane under age 24 to marry someone who is not a EU citizen. From the article, it seems this has resulted in about 1,000 Danish exiles having to live in Sweden because they chose to marry someone who is not a citizen of one of the European Union countries. Here's the link. http://www.npr.org/rundowns/rundown.php?pr...prgDate=current Imagine the US trying to do something like this.

I may be wrong on this, but my understanding is that unless you register with the folks in the new city, you will not be able to get a police certificate from there. I have read a number of posts that suggest that many Chinese residents don't bother to register when they go to other locations. As a result, a police certificate is only obtainable usually from the person's hometown where he or she is registered. I always wondered how GZ dealt with this when you list the locations where you've lived (> six months) but only provide a police clearance from the hometown.

Wonderful news. Hope all goes well at the interview. Sounds like you'll be there, so make sure GZ knows this.

Jingwen's divorce document contained a statement to the effect that she had not registered another marriage since her divorce. While I would have argued that this met the "singleness" requirement, the issue never came up, so I guess the divorce document, by itself, was enough.

Welcome to CFL where Cheetos reign supreme. Everyone suspects that GZ uses a kind of batch processing in scheduling interviews. This seems to produce a lull in interviews for a month or so followed by a flurry of appointment dates that quickly fill up the calendar, followed by another wait.

Great news Paul. You're almost there. We wish you the best at the interview.