TLB

Thanks Tsap, say, you guys are in the States now, right? They even have internet up there in the hills? Do you have wifi in the outhouse now? Thanks for the kind words; tell Wenyan hello from Lan Meng and me. Another question for you folks: I've seen mention of taking proof of income including employment letter and pay stubs. The I-864 specifically says, in bold, "You are not required to submit this evidence, however, unless specifically instructed to do so by a Government official." Do most folks do this "just in case" even if not instructed? I have sufficient income, and am taking 3 years of IRS tax transcripts to prove it. Of course, there might be, buried somewhere in almost a year now of emails, a request for the employment letter that I've forgotten...

Scheduled for the 7th, though we're requesting a delay. I have a question: I'm reviewing all the wonderful testimonials here and continue to learn, and my question is: how far ahead of the document intake day should we have the medical exam? I see David's account of having it the day before (though he mentions some "follow up" vaccinations, I think), but maybe others have had problems getting results in one day? Thanks for sharing experiences, knowledge, advice, links to further data, etc.

I might be dim, but I don't see the point of traveler's checks anymore at all, unless you are going somewhere that doesn't have ATMs. Just take out what you need when you need it; the rates aren't horrible and it's much more convenient. It's a past millennium thing...

I didn't guess the right one, but some were obviously *not* foreign-born and raised. It's hard to tell for me just looking at still photographs. The correct one would have been in the final 2 or 3. I work at a large university and can tell which Chinese are just arrived, not only by dress but also (and most obviously) by how they walk. It's hard to describe, but I'd say they take up less space when they walk (mannerisms much more self-contained) -- after a semester here, they walk with freer motions. It's kind of hard to describe but if you've seen it you know what I mean.

Hi, sorry if this has been covered before, I do see some references to trying to time the interview and asking for special dates or timeframes. Has anyone here done that successfully? I'm sitting on several civil documents to send to NVC, as I don't want to have an interview date between August 8 and September 8; from here I don't think I could count on an interview before August 8. How responsive are they to these kinds of requests? My wife's son is visiting from Japan during that timeframe (8/8-9/8) and she only gets to see him once every two years. On the other hand, I don't like sitting on these documents! thanks! Tim

Good luck to you both; I hope I have the pleasure of meeting up with you sometime; my lady is a Liaoyang girl, and lives in Yingkou; I'll be over there from 5/23 to 6/3. It's not too far to Fushun. We're going to Qingdao first for 4 days then to her place to visit family (her Mom's not doing well). Last summer we went to the Benxi water caves and to Qianshan; loved them both, especially Qianshan. I could spend days wandering from temple to temple in the mountains there. I'll be lobbying for a return visit this time. She just got her driver's license, I suppose we could rent a car...

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-13308162 "China has ordered TV stations across the country not to air any detective shows, spy thrillers or dramas about time-travel for the next three months." I guess maybe they're afraid there will be a time-travel episode showing the future of China without the CCP? B)

thanks for the info on the CCB/BofA relationship; my credit union has a joint account for us, and she has an ATM card; there's a 1$ charge each time she withdraws, which is annoying but not really a big deal since she only withdraws once a month. The info on wiring for free is valuable, I'll have to check that out. Oh, and Randy, thanks for the $10...

Acceptance by family is good, multiple trips is good; as others have said though, K1 might be harder to get than if you married first in China. Not knowing the family background, they could think you (1) are financially more stable than she could get with a young Chinese man, (2) still could father a child with her, as long as you haven't been "fixed" you can father children for many years to come yet (even though you might not be around to see him or her to adulthood), and (3) that you won't stray: since you already have a hot young Chinese babe on your arms, why would you? From what others have said on these forums, I think a large age difference is an issue, but not one that cannot be overcome. I just hope you know her well -- these pages are also full of stories of young women coming to the US and then changing into something unrecognizable, with disastrous results for the marriage...

My wife has also kept her name as it has always been, and this is not an issue with me. I have seen quite a few use the option of adding the man's last name to the woman's full Chinese name; the other options I've not seen. I would say any name change is a pain and if you decide you want to go in that direction tread lightly, i.e., change as little as possible.

Do the Chinese believe any of this happened? I've had more than one tell me that Chinese don't think the Americans ever really landed on the moon...

Reminds me of something a very good friend (US woman) told me many years ago: "everyone uses everyone else, those we call friends are the ones who use us most charmingly." I have no doubt that my wife's decision to marry me was very pragmatic (hey, I'm not that hot, after all): she, in her 50s, was looking at retirement with a very small (but sufficient) pension, no husband, and a son in another country in university. I am sure I am wealthy by her standards, and I can bring things to her life she did not have before (money, travel, security). On some level I am just someone who came along who meets certain criteria (taller than her, older than her, don't smoke, financially secure, available), whom she, after meeting, decided she likes well enough. I'm fine with all that -- I get quite a lot of benefits from it. She found someone who is good to her and has these characteristics, and she has decided we should be together for the rest of our lives. I find this approach refreshing as compared to the common western "I have to find my one and only love" approach. But then I'm older and have been through a lot... We are happy together. 'nuff said.

Very interesting thread. Several things come to mind. 1. The Chinese government has recently moved to show more tolerance of, even support for, Chinese Buddhism. The Party fears explosion of Christianity (the same fear accompanied the importation of Western cultural practices like music, that these cultural practices contain subversive elements within them) and distrusts Tibetan Buddhism. Chinese Buddhism does not have a history of subversion or political involvement. 2. I remember this "fear of gatherings" back in 1987 when I went to a mass qigong demonstration/tutorial. Qigong was at first embraced as an indigenous cultural practice (this was in the first few heady years after Mao's death) but then clamped down on as potentially subversive. Too many people moving toward doing something together that the Party couldn't necessarily easily control. The Party's relationship with popular music styles (especially rock and roll, punk, etc) follows a similar pattern. 3. You can talk about being a Christian in China and minding your own business, but, as has been mentioned, Western Christianity does not have a good track record of minding its own business in new countries; and Jesus himself (despite "give unto Caesar what is Caesar's"), it can be argued, did not condone the political/cultural/economic power structure at that time, and did not hesitate to act in ways contrary to it. 4. I have found that many Chinese have mastered the art of subtle expression of dissatisfaction with the government. In this way they can feel some freedom, and more than before; so by comparison they are more free; and perhaps that's enough is a country where wondering if you could survive the winter without starving, or where you'd be sent to do hard time as "re-education" is not such a distant memory. It is enough *for now*. It will be interesting to see, if and when most Chinese have a decent quality of life, whether they begin to ask for more freedom. The Party knows that its greatest security comes from full bellies and expanding bank accounts.

A couple of these responses have addressed English classes -- could you all explain what the problem is? Should she not be taking English classes? Should he not be paying for them? It seems a reasonable way to prepare for a journey to an English-speaking country -- what am I missing?

There might be some folks here who have done this; my wife and I tried last time I was over to see her (Yingkou, Liaoning Province) but couldn't find a bank that could do it. We went in three different banks -- they didn't act like they didn't know what it was, but they all said they couldn't do it there and didn't know where we could do it. I wouldn't give up, but it might take some time to find where you can do it.

baby steps folks, baby steps... the first steps toward lessening smoking in the US were small, tentative, and not very successful. It takes time. Actually, I was concerned about this before my first recent trip to China (2009)-- I found far fewer smokers than I had in the 1980s; my wife and I went to quite a few restaurants where there were few or no smokers, though certainly it was a bigger problem than in the States, where these bans are actually enforced. Also, 30% isn't that much more than the US percentage (25% for men, 20% for women) -- it's just that there are so many more Chinese! Give it a generation.

Hi folks, My wife and I are starting the electronic processing at NVC, and as we gather documents, I'm wondering about her signature. Up to now she's signed things with her Chinese character signature. Does she need to change to a pinyin cursive signature? Will the US Gov't accept her signature in Chinese characters? Can she sign using both? The documents we're getting from NVC (the first ones to come) have her name in pinyin (flipped, like in the West); does she need to sign that way from now on for all these documents? Someone who doesn't read Chinese would have no way of matching her signature with her pinyin name (but then again, my signature is illegible, too! ) thanks for your advice and experience, as always. Tim

He must deal with this denial, because until he gets his record cleared he is never going to get his wife here. I have watched tsap, and others wait and wait, but honestly if it was me .. I'd just move to China. That's easy for me to say, because I like it there, but many relationships can not endure the long distance, and the time required to get USCIS to reinstate a denied CR/1. I agree; there is much yet to be discovered, but mostly this is the moment of truth for the relationship. Of course I don't know the USC's circumstances, but if this is the love of your life, move to China, teach English there while you learn the language and continue the process. Heck, I'll bet there are a few folks in the world who live happy lives without ever even setting foot in the U.S.! Life usually has more possibilities than we see.

Is electronic processing something I sign up for (or does she)? And can it be done now, or do we wait for the packet from NVC?

http://travel.state.gov/visa/fees/fees_4881.html?cid=3537 Not getting ahead, they are valid for 1 year, so may as well get it now for when NVC requests documents. MORE: http://travel.state.gov/visa/immigrants/info/info_3190.html You will be scanning these things, if your spouse can do this over in China and then email this stuff to you, you can then have ready to email to NVC when the time comes. Scanned stuff needs to be in PDF format. thanks this is GREAT information. Loved this: "According to a 1957 state council ruling that is still in force, the imposition of a re-education through labor (Lao Dong Jiao Yu) term does not result from a criminal conviction." My wife and her family were sent for re-education through labor during the Cultural Revolution because her parents, as high school teachers, were of the intellectual class. Nice to know this isn't on her record as a criminal conviction...

Hi friends, NOA2 received, waiting on packet from NVC, I'm wanting to get a head start on gathering some of the items that will be needed. I found an Of-169 form online (I'm assuming that will be in the packet she receives from NVC), and it lists, among other things, a "police certificate" which I guess lists any arrests or other police actions with regard to my spouse. A couple of questions: 1. Am I getting ahead of myself? Did you all have to gather this report? (maybe I'm assuming it will be asked for and it really won't be); 2. If it is standard, do you know what it's called in Chinese? I suppose it's one of those "white books" (¹«Ö¤Ê飩like the ones we got for evidence of bona fide. Everything else on the list (Birth Certificate, Marriage Certificate, photographs) makes sense, just not sure about this "police certificate" thanks for the help, as always. Any hints as to how to make sure I do this right will be appreciated (lessons learned, etc.). Should I have her go to the US Embassy in Shenyang and talk to them just to make sure she understands exactly what is needed? (she doesn't speak English and my Chinese is intermediate; sometimes I struggle communicating formal material like this) Tim

well, I guess I should be glad the PRC is in control now, since apparently what they're setting up there is benevolent, better for the people (well, the ones the PRC soldiers didn't kill, anyway) and non-corrupt -- like the rest of the PRC I guess...

I'm not sure about bending scripture, but there are interesting parallels with the Papal Schism in Europe: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Western_Schism in that the Romans were trying to control who the next Pope would be and there ended up being two simultaneously (like what the Chinese tried to do in the 90s). Tibetans fear China will try to sabotage the process and declare the next Dalai Lama. The current one has said he won't reincarnate in a place that is not free. Very few Tibetan Buddhists follow the Chinese appointed leader. Stay tuned...

Very good advice Tim. As for her shift times. It seems that they are always changing. I would think that she would be able to tell me via email fairly easy. There are times when I do not hear from her for 2 or 3 days... When I don't hear from her for a while, the second guessing begins... Welcome to the uncertainty of long distance relationships. Each couple has its own rhythm for communicating, I think; I've seen posts from folks here and other places that talk about how they email several times a day and maybe chat, Skype or are on the phone for hours each day, every day. I couldn't do that with ANYONE! My wife and I only since my last trip are in daily communication; at the beginning it was an email a week and after the first time together (as we headed decisively toward each other) it was still only maybe 2 or 3 emails a week and one Skype or phone call a week. Maybe it's just because we're older, I don't know. Now we chat twice a day on QQ for 30-60 minutes each and skype and/or phone once a week. That's just my long-winded way of saying that 2-3 days without communication is not necessarily a red flag unless it represents a significant breaking of a previous practice.

I can't answer whether it's common, and I wouldn't say it's necessarily a red flag: this sounds like it's still a young relationship. You said you usually initiate the communication, but then you said she sometimes Skypes you, so evidently she initiates it sometimes. Her relative quietness during chatting might be because she's missing a lot of what you're saying but is embarrassed to say so. Here's my advice (worth what you're paying for it): 1. talk less while on Skype, don't be afraid of space in the conversation, and encourage her to talk more even if it's very simple things. You can slowly tutor her. 2. You say her English is poor but you're intimate via letters; be careful here, especially if she's expressing this in English. Her understanding of what certain things said in our culture would also be poor, even if she knows the words. It seems simple, but even "I love you" don't mean the same things and aren't used the same ways in these two cultures. 3. Begin to learn some Chinese; if you're really interested in this person you should move toward beginning to understand how she relates to her world, and that's through Chinese. Learn all you can about her culture (assuming you don't already have that understanding). Good luck! Personally I don't see red flags here, unless there's more you haven't said yet (e.g., sometimes she says she'll call but doesn't, or she begins chatting with others while she's chatting with you, or goes AWOL for days at a time and you don't know why) Speaking of which, why don't you know when her shifts are? Is that because her English isn't good enough for her to tell you?