How is it going?

[Martin B]

I had a long time girlfriend (not Chinese) who I kept thinking would get better - but there was always the relapse in a day or two. Finally, at her urging, we went to counseling - which she walked out of in the first hour.

 

Months later the therapist explained to me she had "Borderline Personality Disorder" and recommended a few books but said that, sadly, there is no drug treatment for it as it is personality based. The fun and vivacious side that people generally saw in public vanished once we were home. It just takes courage to get out of this kind of relatoinship - it's not your fault or responsibility.

 

Unfortunately for some people to see the light, they need to get bitten pretty hard. Like the dbag bully in school that finally gets his act together after someone punches him in the face in front of everyone. I remember reading about a similar couple like OP although I believe the wife was from South America - the man tried everything to get her to shape up and finally couldn't take it anymore and she got served divorce papers. For whatever reason that's the exact moment when the "I'm a f****g moron" lightbulb went off for her, they were able to fix their relationship, and have been happy since.

[chilton747]

Very interesting and thanks for the comments. I believe this will come down to pride and the Chinese are steadfast.

[chilton747]

Something ain't right here. She has calmed way down. Calm before the storm???

[Randy W]

Something ain't right here. She has calmed way down. Calm before the storm???

 

 

Maybe she`s finally beginning to realize that you`re actually a good guy who`s just a little bit "stoopid"

[amberjack1234]

Whatever it is I am glad for you. Hope it keeps up.

[chilton747]

Whaddup guys? Well she is maintaining and for the first time in over 11 years I am learning to be more comfortable with her as she is with me.

Happy Chinese New Year everyone!!!

[amberjack1234]

That is absolutely wonderful to hear brother ord.

[chilton747]

Yes sir!!! How are you doing brother amberjack?

[amberjack1234]

I am doing pretty well. Going to Greenville, NC tomorrow with the wife to get a complete dental checkup. I am so glad that your little woman has seen what a good man she has before it was to late.

Best wishes my old friend. Good to hear from you. Come by more often. Not many of us old cats around anymore.

Larry

[Allon]

Charles, we went through an ugly episode recently and I just let her ventilate. She is really guilty of what Eric Berne calls "Shit Bagging". Seeing something that makes her angry (whether it is me or not) and she holds it in until something finally breaks and dumps the bag of doodoo all over you. (Read Eric Berne's Games People Play -- a really funny and great read.)

 

She ended with "I want divorce."

 

Ok, I will call the lawyer.

 

She gets real quiet. I smelled wood burning....

 

Are you sure you want this?

 

You asked for it. (IOW -- don't let the door kick you in the ass....)

 

Her best friend called her and summoned her for counseling. She told her my wife was a lucky woman to have me. Her friend is by herself, single, with a great son and really attractive (anyone interested?).

 

I let it ride for a few days and sent her a weChat. "I know it is hard for you to be alone during the day while I work. Just know that I still care for you."

 

Now it is as if nothing happened. Took her shopping and she is good to go.....

 

Go figure....best of luck. Hang in there. She might be worth the trouble.

[wawster]

Brother Charles,

I have been away for a bit (ok, longer than a bit), but in reading this thread, my heart goes out to you. I hope that things are going a bit better, my friend!

 

Warren

[chilton747]

I am doing pretty well. Going to Greenville, NC tomorrow with the wife to get a complete dental checkup. I am so glad that your little woman has seen what a good man she has before it was to late.

Best wishes my old friend. Good to hear from you. Come by more often. Not many of us old cats around anymore.

Larry

Thank you so much Larry. I'm actually beside myself with this new revelation. Can't believe it's true!

[chilton747]

Charles, we went through an ugly episode recently and I just let her ventilate. She is really guilty of what Eric Berne calls "Shit Bagging". Seeing something that makes her angry (whether it is me or not) and she holds it in until something finally breaks and dumps the bag of doodoo all over you. (Read Eric Berne's Games People Play -- a really funny and great read.)

 

She ended with "I want divorce."

 

Ok, I will call the lawyer.

 

She gets real quiet. I smelled wood burning....

 

Are you sure you want this?

 

You asked for it. (IOW -- don't let the door kick you in the ass....)

 

Her best friend called her and summoned her for counseling. She told her my wife was a lucky woman to have me. Her friend is by herself, single, with a great son and really attractive (anyone interested?).

 

I let it ride for a few days and sent her a weChat. "I know it is hard for you to be alone during the day while I work. Just know that I still care for you."

 

Now it is as if nothing happened. Took her shopping and she is good to go.....

 

Go figure....best of luck. Hang in there. She might be worth the trouble.

That does surprise me. It is a game they play possible game they play. A Mafan brought that to light years ago

[chilton747]

Brother Charles,

I have been away for a bit (ok, longer than a bit), but in reading this thread, my heart goes out to you. I hope that things are going a bit better, my friend!

 

Warren

Thank you sir. I'm on your side as well 😉

[tsap seui]

Well by the holy jumpin' sweet baby Jay-sus and all that is precious in this life, I kin only jump in and say...."cuziN' Chaz, you n' eye have tawked more than enough on the string n' two can phone system for you to know that my sorry ass is way too stoopid to be of any help in serious situations. You got a big ol' pinto bean turd that refuses to leave the terlet bowl and continues to sit there lookin' at you.....I kin fix that furr ya!!!! You walk in yer door and none of yer electricity works....I kin fix that, too!!!!! I kin even build you a new home to run away and hide in.....but wimmin troubles????? Imma way outta my league in that particular area of expertise. Know wudda mean, Kimosabe?

 

You know I wish ewe n' yer wife happiness. I hope that the happiness light switch gets turned on in her brain one day. You have gone far and above any call for "hang in there, do yer best to work it out"....how many innings of gettin' beaned in the head by the pitcher is a person supposed to "hang in there"?

 

tsap seui

 

The last time I wuz serious wuz on the blessed day of February 29, 1972. I had been back in the land of the big PX for one day and the 29th was the day I got to sign my name on the dotted line to get OUT of the big green machine.