A chance to vent and ask for help.

[Lovebane]

I feel for you man.

 

See how long your patience would last if they held your case blackhole'd style for 2 years...

 

Take it from me, (My personal view & opinion)

I've been on the net so long, and it's hella lonely, if she's not being depressed about it, then don't think about it on your end.. don't push it, don't force it...

The only time you need to do damage control is when she starts to feel the side effects of depression/despair.

 

 

if you want to cover all your bases, even if you make enough. Get a co-sponsor anyways.. I had a lawyer prepare everything, everything is ok, and then they throw a Co-sponsor requirement at us.. :/

 

Just have faith and confidence in yourself and it'll be fine.

 

The thing with when you're not there with her, there's really not much you can do to placate her... unless she's a gamer type and virtual items can placebo :3 otherwise, well.. just have to deal with it.

 

 

In regards to the interview part...

 

Just consider it luck of the draw..

 

Although I wish they would issue some of these things by circumstances and on the base of merit, I know it's totally retarded but I think it's really all about luck.

 

Good luck, and well.. if you really want to do something,

you can always sing her a song if you can sing,

or draw her something nice if you're an artist..

 

 

or the fastest cheesiest route is a photo slide show of you both..

[chilton747]

I heard 80% of women who do not speak good english were given Blue or White slips.

 

Where did you hear this if I might ask? B)

[Feathers268]

I heard 80% of women who do not speak good english were given Blue or White slips.

 

Where did you hear this if I might ask? B)

Yeah, and I heard that if you eat chicken on the Tuesday of the week before the interview, you have a 20% chance of being in the top 50% of the 10% that get a blue slip.....

Don't listen to that kinda stuff. A fact, Jen did the interview in Chinese and had no trouble what so ever. To calm her nerves, I posted here asking for stories of Chinese interviews that went well, and got dozens. There are also pink and blues that are given to English interviews. There were stories about the "Black Pearl" someone notorious for supposedly being tough at the interview with a ton of blues issued.

All you can do is collect your evidence and let the process work. Keep talking to your girl, and get copies of EVERYTHING. If you talk on the phone copy the bill, print out chat logs, write her a letter or two, I would take pictures around California and would sent them to Jen to show where she would be moving to.

Just work on getting so much evidence to prove how real your relationship is. I don't know how much they will actually look at, with Jen, they hardly looked at anything, BUT, it gave Jen confidence that we had enough and therefore she was more relaxed going into the interview.

Above all else, keep telling yourself, she will do fine, and she WILL be here before you know it.

Edited September 4, 2009 by Feathers268 (see edit history)

[chilton747]

I heard 80% of women who do not speak good english were given Blue or White slips.

 

Where did you hear this if I might ask?

Yeah, and I heard that if you eat chicken on the Tuesday of the week before the interview, you have a 20% chance of being in the top 50% of the 10% that get a blue slip.....

Don't listen to that kinda stuff. A fact, Jen did the interview in Chinese and had no trouble what so ever. To calm her nerves, I posted here asking for stories of Chinese interviews that went well, and got dozens. There are also pink and blues that are given to English interviews. There were stories about the "Black Pearl" someone notorious for supposedly being tough at the interview with a ton of blues issued.

All you can do is collect your evidence and let the process work. Keep talking to your girl, and get copies of EVERYTHING. If you talk on the phone copy the bill, print out chat logs, write her a letter or two, I would take pictures around California and would sent them to Jen to show where she would be moving to.

Just work on getting so much evidence to prove how real your relationship is. I don't know how much they will actually look at, with Jen, they hardly looked at anything, BUT, it gave Jen confidence that we had enough and therefore she was more relaxed going into the interview.

Above all else, keep telling yourself, she will do fine, and she WILL be here before you know it.

 

 

Does Hu Jintao speak English? Does the US have a bonafide relationship with China? What does this have to do with the visa process? B)

[tonado]

I think Robert should take Chinese language classes to ease his mind.

[A Mafan]

I heard 80% of women who do not speak good english were given Blue or White slips.

 

Where did you hear this if I might ask? B)

Yeah, and I heard that if you eat chicken on the Tuesday of the week before the interview, you have a 20% chance of being in the top 50% of the 10% that get a blue slip.....

Don't listen to that kinda stuff. A fact, Jen did the interview in Chinese and had no trouble what so ever. To calm her nerves, I posted here asking for stories of Chinese interviews that went well, and got dozens. There are also pink and blues that are given to English interviews. There were stories about the "Black Pearl" someone notorious for supposedly being tough at the interview with a ton of blues issued.

All you can do is collect your evidence and let the process work. Keep talking to your girl, and get copies of EVERYTHING. If you talk on the phone copy the bill, print out chat logs, write her a letter or two, I would take pictures around California and would sent them to Jen to show where she would be moving to.

Just work on getting so much evidence to prove how real your relationship is. I don't know how much they will actually look at, with Jen, they hardly looked at anything, BUT, it gave Jen confidence that we had enough and therefore she was more relaxed going into the interview.

Above all else, keep telling yourself, she will do fine, and she WILL be here before you know it.

+1

My wife did her interview in Chinese, too, and passed the first time.

[NUWORLD]

I think this is more of a way to get things off my chest. First off I am in no way having second thoughts. I love Hui very much and cant wait to start our life together.

 

I dont really know where to start, I am feeling very frustrated. Nothing is really going wrong but my mind is filled with a endless string of What if's.

 

What if They say I dont make enoufgh money....What if I dont screw up gathering the items she will need for her interview....What if she has her interview before my 2009 Tax returns are ready.... What if..What if...What if...B)

 

I know I have a pricelss reasource here for answering questions, but I still worry.

 

I find myself being overly sensitive and seeming needy in my relationship with Hui. I have no doubt she loves me but I was starting to come accross as impatient to her. She told me she loves me very much but has bad feel of late because she thinks I was being impatient man. Then she also said she thinks maybe I am impatient because I miss her. I will post her Email for you to read.

 

"i awake up and had breakfast,i read your letter,i think you didnot understand my mean about my school

> > i said i not want go to the need live on school room that English School,i want to a school but it will not need me live there.

> > another,i said i will get the possport tomorrow.

> > oh i love you but i feel bad from you,your Character is very impatient?but we met i feel you are a warm man.maybe you wish see me early then you impatient?

> > the 6000cny if i not use in school i will use in my live.

> > ok we chat in msn soon.

> > hui"

 

I know I was being pushy about the school and I backed off based on all of your advise. i was just very worried because I heard 80% of women who do not speak good english were given Blue or White slips.

 

I have backed way off now as I relaize it was my frustration with the slow pace of the K-1 was making me a bit insane.

 

Please tell me how I can repair any bad feelings she may have. I already told her she dose not need to go to the school if it makes her unhappy and I was sorry if I was impatient to her.

 

You all have Chinese women in your lives how would you make it up to her?

 

Robert

 

Robert, Relax buddy!! if ya keep thinking like this your going to have a nervous brack down.

 

I know how ya feel, when i started this process years ago i too would worry myself to death.

 

It' not worth it thinking so much.

 

As for learning English, I would not worry about that too.

 

Back when i was just starting to talk to hong we would email everyday.

We did this everyday untill interview day.

 

But the email thing does not teach English.

So about half way through the process i would call hong on the phone everyday and would talk for an hour or so.

 

At first, We would just listen to each others voice and wonder we was being said.

 

After months of doing this we where soon talking up a storm with each other.

 

75-80% of my wife's English was learned from me on the phone everyday, The rest, She learns just by being around other people.

 

 

RELAX!! you'll do just fine

[Richard & Li]

I heard 80% of women who do not speak good english were given Blue or White slips.

 

Where did you hear this if I might ask? B)

 

I'll insert my 2 cents here:

 

Li spoke very little English at the time of the interview. We had been practicing the possible questions. But, when the VO realized it would be easier for Li to conduct the interview in Chinese, she did so. Result: PINK

[NewDay2006]

Wow I feel I am getting a bit blasted here....And I think deservedly so. You guys are all correct. I had let it get me a bit worked up. I will do my best to be better...

 

I guess I just felt Hui withdrawls.... It sucks to be alone.

 

Robert

You're getting blasted by the truth from men who've been there, are far removed from the wait process today and who now give you invaluable advice.

 

Here's mine...don't over think things. Relax, breathe, and learn patience. That last part, patience, will come in handy later. I will emphasize a prior post; show her that you're strong and that you are her rock to lean on.

Music helps the world go around.

 

I can't see this at work, but I agree with Tony's comment.

 

The Beatles said it best, "All you Need is Love"... nothing else matters.

 

Relax and let it just let it flow dude!

Edited September 4, 2009 by NewDay2006 (see edit history)

[chilton747]

I heard 80% of women who do not speak good english were given Blue or White PINK slips.

 

I think this is probably more accurate.

[chengdu4me]

You are in the beginning of the process. It is somewhat natural to be impatient, mostly because you don't want to realize or accept that it is still a long road.

 

Fretting over small stuff will just make you even more impatient. More stressed...

 

Regardless of your physical condition, you can and should get some exercise that will relieve the stress, flat out wear you out, and give you an outlet to vent some of that frustration...

 

May I suggest matial arts. Attending class a few evenings a week, sweating like you have never sweated before, get your mind off the "dreaded process" and getting the bonus of being able to try to knock the crap out of the padded dummy is a great way to take care of all these things.

 

If that doesn't sound like your cup of tea, try other things. Start a project that will take a long time to finish, but is something you like doing. If there are Chinese language course available in you area, try that.

 

There are a million things you can do other than worry. Worry solves nothing. Use the energy that you spend worrying to take your time and make sure every i is dotted, every t is crossed.

 

Other have said it, and I will repeat. You ARE the rock. You ARE the wall. You ARE the quiet strength that will give her supreme confidence. Her confidence in your relationship must shine through at interview time. English or Chinese, if she is unsure, the VO will see that. How the VO interperts that is anyones guess...

[Guest Pommey]

been there, seen that done that.

Robert its frustrating, we all know the wait, hang in there big fella.

[Jon & Cindy]

Like what was said before, this is the easy part! What I did was occupy myself with projects and hobbies. Kept me from thinking about it too much and the time flew by.

Just be positive and strong for her, she'll appreciate it. No matter what, be optimistic and she'll worry a lot less too.

Soon enough you'll be sipping a 20 dollar glass of orange juice at the consulate waiting for her to come downstairs.

 

Good luck!

 

Jon & Cindy

[Mike and Yan]

now that you have at least admited the problem . . . .

 

12 step process?

 

[RobertH]

now that you have at least admited the problem . . . .

 

12 step process?

 

 

 

Lol I may need a 12 step process before this is all done. I am thinking by some timelines I have been seeing that She may have her interview in Febuary I hope

 

Robert