First weekend in Montana together

[Sebastian]

I read some of the postings relating the stepdaughter "Empress". I dont know what that implies. I think kids here are more" empress" than those from China,isnt it?

li -

i don't know exactly how Griz is using it (I read his post about it too) but IME, it's a side effect of being doted on by parents and grandparents, that ONE child. There's a behavior associated with it, as well. The common moniker for it is 'empress' at the house. Is basic concept of getting one's way, all the time, regardless of the consequences, and pitching a fit (crying, screaming, hitting) until one gets her way. usually without any fear of later punishment (as there is no punishment for an empress).

 

Now, you've got a pile o degrees, surely you've witnessed this type o behavior in China ? I know I have, but it's not 100 percent across the board.

Edited July 15, 2008 by Darnell (see edit history)

[Robert S.]

She might have cried about that deli sandwich. Chinese people don't like sandwiches. Thanks for the update. You are going to have a very interesting time.

[SheLikesME?]

Great start and I am glad to hear it. We know you have been concerned. Hope the 3 of you just work out everything and never give up. Looks like your trying to have fun with them. Cool.

[Stepbrow]

Thanks for the update Griz. Your leading the way for us newbies. We'll try to learn from your mistakes.

[Guest Rob & Jin]

She might have cried about that deli sandwich. Chinese people don't like sandwiches. Thanks for the update. You are going to have a very interesting time.

 

 

 

really Jin loves sandwiches

[Smitty]

I read some of the postings relating the stepdaughter "Empress". I dont know what that implies. I think kids here are more" empress" than those from China,isnt it?

li -

i don't know exactly how Griz is using it (I read his post about it too) but IME, it's a side effect of being doted on by parents and grandparents, that ONE child. There's a behavior associated with it, as well. The common moniker for it is 'empress' at the house. Is basic concept of getting one's way, all the time, regardless of the consequences, and pitching a fit (crying, screaming, hitting) until one gets her way. usually without any fear of later punishment (as there is no punishment for an empress).

 

Now, you've got a pile o degrees, surely you've witnessed this type o behavior in China ? I know I have, but it's not 100 percent across the board.

It would just be easier to say that they are spoiled.

[whutthapho]

Be patient with the "Little Empress"...Montana can be a huge adjustment coming from a high population area, even for a U.S. born American, let alone a Chinese girl/woman from a city.

 

A VERY small "city" in China has population > 1million.

 

Make her feel welcome, look at things from her point of view, and try to locate other Chinese in the community/state/region and don't be opposed to venturing out to San Fran or Seattle once in awhile.

 

Best of luck to you & your new family.

Edited July 19, 2008 by whutthapho (see edit history)

[Guest WenDylan]

I don't know what I would do in Montana either...

[shaffej7070]

She might have cried about that deli sandwich. Chinese people don't like sandwiches. Thanks for the update. You are going to have a very interesting time.

 

 

You should see my wife scarf down a philly or a tuna-on-rye with chips and hot tea. How does she stay thin?

[Guest WenDylan]

She might have cried about that deli sandwich. Chinese people don't like sandwiches. Thanks for the update. You are going to have a very interesting time.

 

 

You should see my wife scarf down a philly or a tuna-on-rye with chips and hot tea. How does she stay thin?

Maybe its because she doesn't have any of that high fat and cholesterol absorbing American blood in her?

[griz326]

We're heading into our 2nd weekend. The empress and I had a talk this morning. She threw a fit; I ignored her. When she came back to earth we had a little negotiation. Little by little......

[Guest WenDylan]

We're heading into our 2nd weekend. The empress and I had a talk this morning. She threw a fit; I ignored her. When she came back to earth we had a little negotiation. Little by little......

My lao po says "Don't give into her demands!"

[C4Racer]

We're heading into our 2nd weekend. The empress and I had a talk this morning. She threw a fit; I ignored her. When she came back to earth we had a little negotiation. Little by little......

 

Now that's the perfect way to handle it. We were out throwing ball the other night, son fell down on his kness on the cement driveway, not hard so he made a quick ouch sound, but then picked himself up and off running after the ball. We had both ignored him, so he didn't cry but a second. My wife made the comment, in China he would have been fallen all over by his grandparents and even maybe his parents, so his crying would probably last for a long time. It's not hard to understand how years of this can make someone conditioned into a little emporer or empress. This extra attention has a negative effect, because it doesn't teach them how unfair life can be, but it is a way of Chinese culture for now. Sounds like you are handling the right way, now just remember it has been years, so have a lot of patience and she will come around.

 

Nice to hear everyone is doing great, having a good time and enjoying life.

[NewDay2006]

Sounds good Griz. Hang in there, it sounds like an adjustment.

[Smitty]

Watch out Griz! Make sure isn't trying to pull a fast on you!