The Good, The Bad, The Ugly

[rogerluli]

I quizzed laopo about this last night just to be sure...We have spent probably 2 months together in China and have traveled very widely. She said we have never received even one nasty remark. The only thing she added was that some of her former co-workers in her hometown were JEALOUS of her now and had said things behind her back... jealous women...I don't belive it...

[PapaBear]

Yeah...I ran this by lao po last night as well. I have to tell you she was surprised also.

 

We have been all over China together as well, except for Mongolia, and have only had warm feelings from everyone we've encountered (forget the child trying to pick my pocket or the Suzhou Cab Driver crying like a woman when my wife wouldn't buy his indirect route to our hotel because of rush hour traffic).

 

Of course the price gouging is going to be attempted, but you know, I leave all of the haggling up to my wife.....and she's good at it!! She let's them know she is Beijing Ren and I am her Lao Gong. If they still insist on price gouging.....we walk away unscaved.

 

Oh yeah, the Lao Wei and Da Bi Zi comments are heard here and there, usually by a couple of attractive Chinese ladies and offered with giggles and smiles. Frankly, I like the attention.

 

My wife did say that some Chinese will look down at a mixed race couple if the seems to be a large gap in age difference. She said this could draw comments like "G" (prostitute) and be mean-hearted in the delivery.

 

Hope your out-look improves before finding a place to buy a home there.

 

PapaBear B)

[rogerluli]

My wife also agreed that if you are going to hear negative comments it will be from "country people" who are not familiar with foreigners. You can imagine that in the armies of migrant workers in the big cities there are many men who cannot afford to marry or just simply can't find a wife with the gender imbalance issue and are understandably jealous, especially when they see a younger Chinese woman with an older Western man... Our solution: avoid the problem entirely by living in smaller cities...

[Smitty]

What is the current gender imbalance in China?

[Shenzhen K-1]

What is the current gender imbalance in China?

 

By 2010-20 the projections are varied but more then 20 million boys over gilrs!!

[Guest knloregon]

Interesting Point about numerical gender differences... and the migrant workers... preceptive Candle discussion-----based on our collective experience !! Once again!!! time for mutual congradulations all around ~! Fei THINKS I don't see the slights in China, (and I'm very sorry Larry about your recent experience) ---and to be honest, in our case, they arn't very frequent, for some reason. We have never been to Beijing together, but the times I have visited, I would be very surprised if anyone got the dose Larry got---since its just such an international city.

 

10 + years ago, adopting in China brought crowds----sometimes openly hostle (men only---Chinese women wanted to hold the girl, of course, and cover up any exposed skin---even though daughter #1 was sweating like a piglet..)...

 

So when daughter #2 came along in 2001, in Hufei, Anhui----a working class city in a very poor province, I and my ex wife very much knew the drill-----here we are on a crowded avenue, trying to cross mid-block---daughter #1 and #2 in tow----here comes the 80 lb, filthy peasant worker on a bicycle, peddling right towards us---can't cross the street yet.. He pulls up in front of us, gets off the bike, and looks us all over, and from his almost toothless mouth he says in English: "Thank you!" ...gets back on his bike and peddles away.....

[Chad]

I have seen the gouging, but just liet my wife deal with it. I would walk through look at something and let her know I was intrested and she would go back and negotiate it without me. Worked pretty good.

 

We had a few looks from people, but nothing too bad. There were only 2 incidents where I wanted to instigate it furthur. The first and probably worst one was my 2nd day there on my first trip. Only physically met my wife the day eariler after talking for 2.5 years. We went to Tianamen Sq and were walking up some steps and a man said something and I could tell by his expression that is wasnt to nice. Hui, had us change direction and said something quick to him. I asked what he said and she would only say, "it not matter." I could tell by her expression to it was nice so i stopped and turned around to go back. i am not a big guy but ina big coat and 6'1 when he is maybe 5'8... I stared him down and went his way as laopo said again no matter, no matter. Between her pleas and the actual fear I saw in his eyes I kinda laughed at him and went on my way.

 

The other was just a group of 4 kids that decided to test wills when walking towards each other in a mall. They went shoulder to shoulder looking right at me and Laopo. First instinct ,square the shoulders and have fun, but alas I folded and went around.

[amberjack1234]

Yes, PapaBear there is quite a bit of age difference between my wife and I but that is our business and not the business of people on the street and is not open for their comments on our relationship. She is quite beautiful and I have never won any beauty contest. I am kind of short as well in fact she is taller than I am. I am sure that if I was 35 years old, 6' 4" and weighed 275 I might not have heard as many comments either.

 

I will not buy a house in Beijing. I will do like my old buddy Roger did and go down south. I am thinking about the same town as a matter of fact. The clean air attracts me mostly.

 

Migrant workers: That could have accounted for most of the increase in these comments that I heard plus the fact that my understanding of the Chinese language has increased greatly since my last visit which was 7 years ago. There are many 10's of thousands of migrant workers in the larger cities now that could have accounted for more comments as well.

 

Yeah, better understanding of the Mandarin language and more migrant workers probably was the cause of the increase of my hearing more negative comments. You can't look at them and tell from where they came or their backgrounds. So I'll buy that.

 

Another couple of incidents were when our little 7 year old nephew was coming home from school he was stopped twice by adults and grilled as to who that foreigner was staying at his house. Being the smart boy that he is he told them that it was none of their business. A few days later after school he was beaten up by two of his bigger classmates while questioning him about my presents there. We went to the school and complained but to no avail as they said that the incident happened after school and off school grounds. I can buy that all I wanted them to do was speak to the two boys involved. They refused as the two boys fathers were military officers.

 

Larry

[PapaBear]

I will not buy a house in Beijing. I will do like my old buddy Roger did and go down south. I am thinking about the same town as a matter of fact. The clean air attracts me mostly.

 

Your line of thinking here is right-on Larry!

 

If my wife had not been born and raised with a large family in Beijing, I would have insisted on going south to look for a home in China.

 

My first trip to China took me to Kunming and LiJiang and the air there was just so fresh, and the mountains so beautiful. That was back in 2001 and I had no desire to visit Beijing......in fact quite the opposite. All the pictures I had seen of Beijing were smoggy, mucky, dirty air. And the mass of people....I much prefer the country life.

 

But this was before I met and married my beautiful Lao Po. She sure changed my thinking. Funny, she's never been to Yunnan or anywhere south of Hangzhou. But be rest assured, we'll be checking out all of China from our home base in Beijing.

 

Good luck to you Larry. And I have to agree with you about picticulars between couples (age,race,size,etc.).....IT'S NOBODY'S BUSINESS BUT YOUR OWN!!

 

PapaBear B)

[timb]

My experiences so far in Shenzhen. I have not heard any name calling, just lots of stares.

 

Have not seen many foreigners, but a few and a few with Chinese wives/girlfriends.

 

I got ambushed yesterday by two 4 year old street beggars selling flowers. They wrapped themselves around each of my legs and would not let go. Each time I pry one off, the other would take their place. I finally told Man Juan to give them some RMB to get off of me. That was my first experience of something like that.

[rogerluli]

My experiences so far in Shenzhen. I have not heard any name calling, just lots of stares.

 

Have not seen many foreigners, but a few and a few with Chinese wives/girlfriends.

 

I got ambushed yesterday by two 4 year old street beggars selling flowers. They wrapped themselves around each of my legs and would not let go. Each time I pry one off, the other would take their place. I finally told Man Juan to give them some RMB to get off of me. That was my first experience of something like that.

 

NOT MANY FOREIGNERS IN SZ...

 

I had the same experience in GZ on my first trip with a cabal of street urchins selling roses...glommed onto me like glue...finally a cop showed up and got rid of them...but the silk shirt I was wearing was definitely the worse for wear from their grubby little paws...ah I miss China...