The Good, The Bad, The Ugly

[amberjack1234]

Trip report mostly for the new guys as you old guys already know what I am talking about or have just looked the other way, didn¡¯t see it or did not understand it.

 

Just got back from Beijing. Spent 45 days there. Saw the good, the bad and the ugly.

 

First the good: Mother and father-in-law were great to me could not have ask to be treat any better. Mother would get up at 5:30 AM, go to the market, 1 mile away and get fresh food especially for me. Of course she walked in the 20-30 degree weather every morning seven days a week. She is 73 years old. I could not stop her and took great offense when I tried. Tried to get my wife to stop her. Nothing doing son-in-law had to have the best. I fell in love with wife¡¯s 7 year old nephew living with mama and baba. We played every day. He is learning English. I encouraged everyone to keep encouraging him as my wife and I are the only ones in the family that speaks English.

 

Wife bought many, many clothes. How about 8 coats for a starter. They were inexpensive I think as I was not allowed on the shopping trips. More on this later. Where we stayed the pollution was not so bad, great plus for me as I am from the country and abhor pollution. I got 3 pair of eyeglasses at 75 dollars a pair titanium frames included. Wife got 2 pair for 100 dollars a pair. She has to have special glasses that when priced here in America were 1000 dollars a pair. Pretty much saved enough on glasses to pay for our airplane tickets. She had her teeth cleaned and 6 cavities filled at a staggering 20 dollars. My last filling in America cost me 185 dollars. The dentist that she went to even bought her yet another jacket. I could not believe it.

 

Food was great. I only eat in a restaurant 3 times as mama would not allow that. I did manage to get my wife to slip in some takeout food twice. Mama is a great cook and she said that the food in the restaurants were not any good.

 

The bad:

The worst thing to me was the ugly remarks made to me and my wife on the streets. You know, louwei (spelling), foreign devil, hairy monkey, long nose ghost etc. Names to me do not hurt my feeling, I¡¯ve been called a lot worse, as I consider the source and keep on about my business. On the other hand what someone calls my wife does tend to upset me somewhat. Bitch, whore, foreigner lover she was ask quite frequently if she thought that she could take that big d***. My little wife had to restrain me a couple of times and often encouraged me to just let it go which was very difficult but I did in the interest of keeping the peace with her. We never touched each other while out of the house and did not show any affection towards each other while out but some of them knew that we were together anyway even though we stayed several feet apart and more than that on most occasions. They knew we were together anyway no secrets here.

 

My wife went into an optometrist shop to see what she could get a pair of glasses for she and I. I stayed outside but is was no use they had seen us when we were outside. She was quoted a price of 100 dollars for her glasses and when she ask about my glasses the cheapest that they had in the whole store was 1000 dollars. This same case scenario continued all over China as we traveled. It got a bit depressing. I do hope that this will not become a black eye during the upcoming Olympics but I think that it is going to become a major issue, the price gouging of foreigners. Prices have already increased quite a bit in Beijing even for Chinese people.

 

I was not allowed out with wife and mama to visit friends as it seems that some of their friends are foreigner haters as well, especially Americans. Well mama and baba has to stay there even when we came back to America so I tried to take this in stride.

 

I have never gotten sick on a trip to China but this time it caught up with me. I got sick twice some kind of chest infection both times. Mama fixed me up as she is a doctor.

 

We were treated pretty rudely by the United Airlines staff this time both in the US and in China. One old gentleman was very helpful. That was in Chicago. Returning home my wife ask the girl at the desk if we could have seats together and was told in Chinese that there were no seat available that were together on the whole airplane in a very sour voice. I spoke in English asking for adjoining seats and was told that of course that would be possible and promptly changed our tickets. Respectful to me but not to my wife.

 

The ugly:

The same old thing trash everywhere. Especially from the food vendors. The compound where mama and baba live was especially trashed even though mama and baba pay extra money for the upkeep of the grounds. Money wasted. Just a way for the manager to squeeze a little more money out of the tenants. The place really needs a good cleaning perhaps just before the Olympics.

 

No baggers this time as I was told that they had been rounded up and taken out of town, to where nobody knew. I only saw two the whole 45 days.

 

Larry

[IllinoisDave]

Thanks for the report Larry. Very interesting reading. 45 days! Lucky guy. B)

 

I guess it takes that long to see a lot of what you've described. We were in Beijing for three days in May and I never experienced any of the negative stuff, especially the name-calling. But three days is a drop in the bucket compared to how long you were there.

 

I am a little surprised at the level of hostility you experienced. That's such a shame. I'm not sure I would have been as restrained as you.

 

I'm curious, do you speak Mandarin? Is that how you knew what people were saying or did your wife translate?

[rogerluli]

Larry I have never experienced any of the name-calling stuff either but others have so I know it exists... maybe not knowing Mandarin can be a good thing... Price-gouging foreigners... B) yes of course I've experienced that...I think our plan to live in smaller cities where there are very few foreigners will eliminate most of these issues...Once you get to know anyone I think that kind of negativity goes away...

 

Great hearing from you always...especially from the "front lines"...

[Corbin]

Wow great report.............

 

Good thing I had already been to China before reading this, not that it would have stopped me. I have to say I don't think there was one name calling incident in Shenzhen, but then again there was a few looks here and there. Yes many areas I saw in Shenzhen needed to be cleaned up or just plain old repaired.

 

Price-gouging foreigners is alive and dare I say well. Got gouged once on an item that she wanted me to buy and then she got mad at me, well somewhat at me.

 

 

[Shenzhen K-1]

Nice and sad story all at the same time!!!

 

I have been to Shenzhen twice and Beijing once, just not as long a time as you had the fun of doing!! I did get many looks, but did not hear any name calling and my feng would have told me for sure. The price crunch you got is everywhere and am sorry, but I got to see that first hand many times. We argued about a dinner ticker one night for 22 minutes before they gave us the correct price!!

 

My strangest time in Beijing was that at least once a day some kid would come up to me and want his picture taken with the "big" American!!

[SheLikesME?]

Hmm, I think my wife told some cab drivers that I was a business man. Other times she was asked what our relationship was, like the taylor when my pants didn't look right in front. He left plenty of room. Seems my anatomy was discussed. Wife told them how to fix it. Cabbies seemed to be the biggest problem for her but that was just 2-3 times and we were in cabs a lot. I just did not have the bad experiences you have had.

 

I guess my wife should gouge someone with her home coming up for rent just before the olympics jk.

[Corbin]

Hmm, I think my wife told some cab drivers that I was a business man. Other times she was asked what our relationship was, like the taylor when my pants didn't look right in front. He left plenty of room. Seems my anatomy was discussed. Wife told them how to fix it. Cabbies seemed to be the biggest problem for her but that was just 2-3 times and we were in cabs a lot. I just did not have the bad experiences you have had.

 

I guess my wife should gouge someone with her home coming up for rent just before the olympics jk.

Could this also be based on what area of China you are in? Price-gouging I know is almost every where in China, just like our tourist areas in the US.

[jim_julian]

We have experienced name calling and inappropriate comments. I would be surprised if virtually everyone here who has logged significant time in public places in China has not also been the object of such conduct.

 

It is embarrassing (lose face) for your wife/lover and, at least in her eyes, for you, which is why she will try to orchestrate things so you are not aware or these incidents.

[ameriken]

My wife lived in Shanghai, perhaps the most western-friendly and influenced city in China. However millions of what my wife calls 'country' people have 'immigrated' there from rural China who are not quiet as exposed to westerners.

 

I remember the stares from many of these 'country' folk. There was a consistent pattern: they would look at me, look at her, then look back at me and lock their eyes on me with a blank emotioless stare until they passed.

 

At first it was a little unnerving, but after a while I made a point to stare right back with a huge grin.

 

Also experienced the price gouging with vendors in Yue Yuan Gardens...even with my wife present! I saw a painting I kinda liked and the lady tried to pass it off as 1200 RMB. We said no. She said 1000. No. Then she said in broken english, "Since you lady friend China, I give you 900." No!

 

My wife told me it was probably not worth more than 40 or 50 RMB.

 

So, I decided against it and told my wife I probably would have easily paid 200 if the lady didnt try to gouge me. As we walked away, my wife relayed that to her in Chinese......"If you said 200 to begin with, he would have bought it".

 

She ran out of her little area toward us and and immediately said "OK, 200".

 

We kept walking.

[PapaBear]

Sad to hear your report on Beijing.

 

I've been there several times, four to be exact (and none of these for less than a 30-day stay), and have never felt the prejudices you have described in your post.....well, maybe a few lao wei comments, but none were ever meanly disbursed, always I have seen smiles. And my wife and I have never avoided appearing as anything other than a happy loving married couple.

 

I'm so sorry to hear that your view of Beijing was anything other than a pleasant experience. Please give it another try and try not to worry/care what others might be thinking. You've been around a long time.....these preceptions should be dispensed with....really I'm surprised. And I see alot around me.....I don't go around with my head in the sand! Even took my parents for a month's stay last year, and my wife was able to get them into most of the parks with a Senior Chinese Discount for entance (ya should have heard her do some talking then!). B)

 

Anyway Larry....hope your next trip to Beijing is a much more pleasant trip with good things to report. Here's to you and yours!!

 

PapaBear B)

Edited January 28, 2008 by PapaBear (see edit history)

[amberjack1234]

Yes, I do speak some Mandarin but understand much more that I speak. I suspect that the more Chinese that you speak and understand the more of these comments you will here and understand. They don't make these comments in english. In all honesty I have been to Beijing 5 times and this one was the worst for the name calling. I don't know why must have been something in the water. As far as the bad unwanted comments as I said I have learned to just overlook those kind of thing but when it comes to insulting my wife it does strike a nerve. I was civil though for her benefit.

 

I did enjoy my trip greatly and can't wait to return to buy an apartment but for now I am just glad to be home and out of all of that bad weather.

 

Larry

[GZBILL]

Yes, I do speak some Mandarin but understand much more that I speak. I suspect that the more Chinese that you speak and understand the more of these comments you will here and understand. They don't make these comments in english. In all honesty I have been to Beijing 5 times and this one was the worst for the name calling. I don't know why must have been something in the water. As far as the bad unwanted comments as I said I have learned to just overlook those kind of thing but when it comes to insulting my wife it does strike a nerve. I was civil though for her benefit.

 

I did enjoy my trip greatly and can't wait to return to buy an apartment but for now I am just glad to be home and out of all of that bad weather.

 

Larry

 

Yup, price gouging is alive and well. Very few days when I haven't seen it.

 

As for the insults and snide remarks, I have heard little of that over the years. What I do get frequently -- especially in elevators -- is one guy will say to his wife, "Look, that guy has such a big nose" or "That guy has such big feet." They think I can't speak Chinese, of course, but when I reply with something like "You must have such a small pecker" or "Your wife has such small boobs" you can hear them crap themselves. Priceless.

Edited January 29, 2008 by GZBILL (see edit history)

[Shenzhen K-1]

Yes, I do speak some Mandarin but understand much more that I speak. I suspect that the more Chinese that you speak and understand the more of these comments you will here and understand. They don't make these comments in english. In all honesty I have been to Beijing 5 times and this one was the worst for the name calling. I don't know why must have been something in the water. As far as the bad unwanted comments as I said I have learned to just overlook those kind of thing but when it comes to insulting my wife it does strike a nerve. I was civil though for her benefit.

 

I did enjoy my trip greatly and can't wait to return to buy an apartment but for now I am just glad to be home and out of all of that bad weather.

 

Larry

 

Yup, price gouging is alive and well. Very few days when I haven't seen it.

 

As for the insults and snide remarks, I have heard little of that over the years. What I do get frequently -- especially in elevators -- is one guy will say to his wife, "Look, that guy has such a big nose" or "That guy has such big feet." They think I can't speak Chinese, of course, but when I reply with something like "You must have such a small pecker" or "Your wife has such small boobs" you can hear them crap themselves. Priceless.

 

Learning Chinese hs just taken on a whole new meaning for me!!

[DMikeS4321]

Trip report mostly for the new guys as you old guys already know what I am talking about or have just looked the other way, didn¡¯t see it or did not understand it.

 

The worst thing to me was the ugly remarks made to me and my wife on the streets. You know, louwei (spelling), foreign devil, hairy monkey, long nose ghost etc. Names to me do not hurt my feeling, I¡¯ve been called a lot worse, as I consider the source and keep on about my business. On the other hand what someone calls my wife does tend to upset me somewhat. Bitch, whore, foreigner lover she was ask quite frequently if she thought that she could take that big d***.

 

Maybe people are more friendly/open-minded in the south? In all my visits, I've only encountered ONE incident of this kind while visiting Nanning. I don't speak Chinese, but believe me, I can tell. The one time it DID happen, I new instantly that something ugly had been said. I asked my wife to tell the offending parties that I would be happy to show them how we handle *ssholes in the States, but she wouldn't. I gave them an emphatic "middle-finger salute" (international symbol of respect, but offered behind my wifes back) and it went no further, but I think it was because of something SHE had told them about their parentage. In any event, that is the ONLY problem we've had. We didn't even run into this in Shanghai...

[Jay & Ping]

I've been fortunate as well. Only one ugly experience. A poor little homeless looking guy took exception to something about me. He followed us for an hour with no letup. He was literally in my face the whole time. The poor guy was 80 pounds soaking wet. We actually drew a crowd. When he resorted to shoving me my fiancee called the police. They were very efficient. He was chased down and walked to the police station. The officers were quite apologetic. They explained through sign language that he was "not well in the head". He was retained. No paperwork, no info we needed to give. Very surreal. For the next two days anytime my honey saw a guy that looked similar she would point him out just because it made my heart skip a beat! She's a stinker.

I'm sure I got snide remarks in the street and was oblivious to it. As I learn more Chinese I'm sure I'll get really angry. Then mess up my Chinese and accuse them of having a really mean horse!

As for inflated prices, yeah, certainly. I've learned "the sign" and duck into a nearby store and browse. I like to try to bargain. In Mexico it's 50% of the marked price. In China I start at 10%. I know I'm loosing when they tell me "I give you best friend price". One day I'll see something I really really want and I'll be in trouble. It's so much easier when you don't give a crap.

Edited January 29, 2008 by Jay & Ping (see edit history)