How cheap is your wife?

[Joanne]

I am not frugal, but I don't enjoy shopping at all.

 

After packing and moving so many times, I have no desire of owning any unnecessary items. I got rid of stuff every time we move.

 

Yes, a lot of times I got rid of clothes with tags still on. It was not because I bought too many clothes, it was because when I bought those clothes, I wished I would wore them, but at the end I prefer to wear my few old "rags", because I feel more comfortable in old clothes. The result is I am not well dressed.

 

I don't shop for things on sale or use coupon. (If it happened that I could save a few bucks, that's fine.) I found that if I pay much attention to the discounts and coupons, I would bring home things we would never use. So I usually shop with a list in hand.

 

Make sense?

 

Makes perfect sense to me Joanne. I am pretty much the same way.

 

 

My mother certainly doesn't approve my spending habit. She thought I am too casual with the money, but I think I am not wasteful at all.

[Guest ShaQuaNew]

 

 

My mother certainly doesn't approve my spending habit. She thought I am too casual with the money, but I think I am not wasteful at all.

 

Yes, I agree. I don't think you're spending enough money. You could spend just a little more and come down here to Florida. Florida is waiting for you Joanne, on October 13th.

 

Zuo ge hao meng

 

[Urkidding]

My wife is so tight... she squeaks when she walks...

 

Just kidding honey...

 

I know she reads these posts too!

[chilton747]

My wife is so tight that she was ready to cancel plans to buy a house because she thought the lawyer wanted to overcharge us by 200 RMB.

[eseum]

My wife Minghua fits into the thrifty category. We were married in Chongqing where she is from. While we were waiting for her visa we met in Beijing for a little more than a week. She complained about how much more expensive Beijing was compared to Chongqing.

 

I would just laugh and tell her that it did not seem expensive to me and she should wait to see how much things were in America. I am not someone who will spend a lot of money. However, if there is something that I need I am willing to spend what it takes to get a good product.

 

When my wife first got here we would go to the department stores together shopping. This was before she got her job. She is a small woman so it is hard for her to find things that fit here. She would try on clothes and when she found something that would fit I would tell her to buy it. Usually she would look at me and say "No Discount." So after hours we would walk out with nothing. I got to dread hearing "No Discount."

 

About a month and a half before her first birthday here she tried on a dress in Dillards (cost $250). Fit her rather well and she looked beautiful in it. I told her that I would buy it for her, for her birthday. But she said "No Discount." As the days counted down to her birthday she kept going back and trying on the dress. The price progressively got less. First 25%, then 30% and finally 50% off. Each time she would still say that it cost too much.

 

Any way, when it got down to 50% off I left work early one day and went back and bought the dress and hid it at work. This was about a week and a half before her birthday. We went back to Dillards one more time and she was crushed that the dress was no longer on the rack. I told her that if she saw something she wanted badly she should get it. I wrapped the dress up in birthday paper so that she could not tell what it was. The night before her birthday I placed it next to her on a little stand we have next to the bed. I told her she could open it after midnight when it was officially her birthday.

 

Later I got up to use the facilities and she asked me what time it was. It was after midnight so I hear the package rustling without the light even being turned on. My wife let out a little squeal and turned the light on to confirm it was the dress. She was so excited and had to try it on right then. She does look beautiful in it and the only bad thing is that if she wears it she gets a lot of men staring at her.

 

Even though she works she is still very thrifty. She is good at sewing so she will sometimes buy things on discount and then spend the day altering them to fit her. She is amazing with a needle and thread and you can't tell that she has altered something.

 

Interestingly enough she will spare no expense on me. There have been a number of times when she has demanded that she be allowed to buy me something even while I am protesting the expense.

 

Right now she is in Chongqing and when we talked on the phone last she was excited about going shopping for things to bring back for me, our house and my family back in Ohio. Oh, and somebody mentioned about bedclothes. That is something that she said she was definitely bringing back. She believes that sheets and other items for the bed are way to expensive here.

 

Ed

[SheLikesME?]

My wife KNOWS the prices of EVERYTHING!!

 

We saw plums or something for 1.79/lb or so. The very next day the same plums were .88/lb. She bought 2 full bag fulls and felt SOOOO happy. I did too. She is the one who noticed WalMart fresh food goes up and down all the time.

 

Wife like to skimp and then buy big quality things. After house paid for she wants money for vacations. She will do almost anything labor wise to keep from spending.

 

I like Jim's way, but I don't have the privledge of getting what I want, usually. I am surprised other times when she does not put up a fight but compliments my wanting it for no other reason OK

[Joanne]

 

 

My mother certainly doesn't approve my spending habit. She thought I am too casual with the money, but I think I am not wasteful at all.

 

Yes, I agree. I don't think you're spending enough money. You could spend just a little more and come down here to Florida. Florida is waiting for you Joanne, on October 13th.

 

Zuo ge hao meng

 

 

Don't try this strategy on me, Jessy!

[Urkidding]

My wife Minghua fits into the thrifty category. We were married in Chongqing where she is from. While we were waiting for her visa we met in Beijing for a little more than a week. She complained about how much more expensive Beijing was compared to Chongqing.

 

I would just laugh and tell her that it did not seem expensive to me and she should wait to see how much things were in America. I am not someone who will spend a lot of money. However, if there is something that I need I am willing to spend what it takes to get a good product.

 

When my wife first got here we would go to the department stores together shopping. This was before she got her job. She is a small woman so it is hard for her to find things that fit here. She would try on clothes and when she found something that would fit I would tell her to buy it. Usually she would look at me and say "No Discount." So after hours we would walk out with nothing. I got to dread hearing "No Discount."

 

About a month and a half before her first birthday here she tried on a dress in Dillards (cost $250). Fit her rather well and she looked beautiful in it. I told her that I would buy it for her, for her birthday. But she said "No Discount." As the days counted down to her birthday she kept going back and trying on the dress. The price progressively got less. First 25%, then 30% and finally 50% off. Each time she would still say that it cost too much.

 

Any way, when it got down to 50% off I left work early one day and went back and bought the dress and hid it at work. This was about a week and a half before her birthday. We went back to Dillards one more time and she was crushed that the dress was no longer on the rack. I told her that if she saw something she wanted badly she should get it. I wrapped the dress up in birthday paper so that she could not tell what it was. The night before her birthday I placed it next to her on a little stand we have next to the bed. I told her she could open it after midnight when it was officially her birthday.

 

Later I got up to use the facilities and she asked me what time it was. It was after midnight so I hear the package rustling without the light even being turned on. My wife let out a little squeal and turned the light on to confirm it was the dress. She was so excited and had to try it on right then. She does look beautiful in it and the only bad thing is that if she wears it she gets a lot of men staring at her.

 

Even though she works she is still very thrifty. She is good at sewing so she will sometimes buy things on discount and then spend the day altering them to fit her. She is amazing with a needle and thread and you can't tell that she has altered something.

 

Interestingly enough she will spare no expense on me. There have been a number of times when she has demanded that she be allowed to buy me something even while I am protesting the expense.

 

Right now she is in Chongqing and when we talked on the phone last she was excited about going shopping for things to bring back for me, our house and my family back in Ohio. Oh, and somebody mentioned about bedclothes. That is something that she said she was definitely bringing back. She believes that sheets and other items for the bed are way to expensive here.

 

Ed

 

What a nice guy...

 

sounds like something I would do.

[SmilingAsia]

My wife is not frugal. She is a big spender. She has brought $100 pants because she said they fit her well. She likes to buy cage-free organic eggs and organic veggies. If she is looking for a special item at supermarket, she would pick the most expensive. That is why I do the grocery shopping. Also, she loves to buy lotions for face, eyes, butts, body, feet, and whatever. My bathroom is loaded with them. After a few months she would throw them away because she think they had expired. She thinks they can make her sick. Also, she only eat fresh food item. Thus, she would throw away old veggies and milk that is still good. Furthermore, she wastes water all the time by blasting the water faucet when washing her hands. I always told her that if there is a war or emergency in this country, then she would suffer. She said there is no war or emergency now.

I guess your father-in-law is a millionaire in China. And right now you make good income or she is an attorney.

[SmilingAsia]

No kidding.

When my ex moved out, she left 13 bags of clothe most of them with tags still on!

 

Well, the current one is not frugal either. Apart from the bags thingy I complained before. She is into fitting out our new apartment. Tiles all imported from Italy, hand painted silk wall covering, Italian kitchen ware (oven, stove etc). Custom made marble fireplace, custom made bed, furniture and the only thing she thinks is expensive is my fish tanks.

I understand both your ex and current, except that I'd think your fish tanks are cheap too

[SmilingAsia]

I know my wife is a shrewd buyer, she will seek the best price. However, I'm not convinced of her control. She maybe an impulse buyer... So far, she has purchased about 3 comforters for our bed, 2 of which I've already brought home. She has purchased a new coat which is in my home also, along with new shoes... I keep telling her that everything here is made in China

Seems she is doing pretty well with her business in China.

[SmilingAsia]

I think Jim's techniques are very good. But I wonder when Jim decides that he just wants something and gets it, does she keep this in her memory banks and bring it up later?

Bring it up later? Well, you can do this to reason her. As I remember, when she was denied K1, you could have paid Peter (king) for trying to hold the case in Guangzhou, but your SO didn't want to spend the money. It's not likely but there was still possibility to hold the case in Guangzhou then, which would have saved you long long time of waiting.

Sometimes, being too frugal can block her own future and it recycles. As the head of the family, you have to decide like Jim.

Edited September 23, 2007 by SmilingAsia (see edit history)

[chilton747]

I think Jim's techniques are very good. But I wonder when Jim decides that he just wants something and gets it, does she keep this in her memory banks and bring it up later?

Bring it up later? Well, you can do this to reason her. As I remember, when she was denied K1, you could have paid Peter (king) for trying to hold the case in Guangzhou, but your SO didn't want to spend the money. It's not likely but there was still possibility to hold the case in Guangzhou then, which would have saved you long long time of waiting.

Sometimes, being too frugal can block her own future and it recycles. As the head of the family, you have to decide like Jim.

 

Yes you are right but then on the other hand if he could not have done anything to help then it would have been money wasted. I know it is a crap shoot kind of thing and I did decide. I decided to listen to her Her future is not blocked. We will be together always no matter how long it takes. And she does manage to make money by selling tea. She actually does quite well in making and saving money

[Minister]

My future wife spent a lot of time in Japan (that's how we met). Our English conversations are peppered with Japanese (She is fluent. I am conversational in that language.) In Japan, the word for a real Scrooge is "ketchi" (Sounds like "kaych"). And that is our official word for her.

 

We have had some fabulous episodes of ketchi-ness. And, during the beginning of our relationship, it was difficult for me to accept. For example, when we go shopping for clothing or other durable goods, she will carefully check every seam and stitch in the item to ensure that it is good. She rejected three different wallets at the one store before finally accepting one. (She later admitted to me that she wanted to check several other wallets, but she could see that I was uncomfortable so she decided to make do with the one she finally chose).

 

Whenever I, like a foolish American, try to pay for things and wrap them up, she will scold me for hurrying. "You shouldn't even talk about paying until I've had a chance to negotiate a price and warranty!"

 

But, truth be told, I am thankful for her ketchi heart. I am not a very good consumer and I have learned a lot from her. It is amazing how much farther my salary goes when I pay just a little attention to what I'm buying. I don't think I will ever equal her zeal, but I am a better man because of it.

 

I think it has to do with the struggles in China in the 60s and 70s. Even though my sweetheart's family is well-to-do-ish, old family habits die hard.

 

You know, my grandmother was alive during the Great Depression. Until the day she died, she couldn't throw away food. Even if there was just a sliver or butter in the dish or a single spoonful of food left after dinner, she would diligently save it in plastic wrap. My mother, despite a professional salary (now retired) and a generally healthy financial state, does the same thing to this day. I am sure that three generations of "Tupper Ware" factory owners have put children through college on my mother and grandmother's frugal zeal.

 

When I can consider where it might come from and why, I can easily accept this cultural difference. When I consider the effect that attention to the small things can have on my ability to get the big things in life, I am even eagerly trying to embrace it.

 

Incidentally:

 

When I told her the story from this web site about the guy's wife who sat on a train for 30 hours rather than pop the extra $100 for airfare, my little Scrooge said, "Oh. I wanted to do that too. But from my city, it would be about three days to take the train. If it was only 30 or 40 hours, I would have done it."

Edited September 30, 2007 by Minister (see edit history)

[Yuanyang]

I wish my wife was frugal.