Minister

Good morning, Team! I have a question for you. A friend of mine is expecting a visit from her parents this Summer. Her parents would like to bring one of their grandchildren (my friend's brother's child). It seems that there is some way for a child to apply for a visa in an interview-free visa process. But that process requires that the child should come to America to visit with their parents, not with their grandparents. The parents of the child (my friend's brother and his wife) have to work and can not come to spend the Summer in the USA with their child. They would like the grandparents to take them. May I ask, has anyone had this experience? What kind of visa application process did you follow? Is it just the normal tourist visa? I would search the forums, but the search function is returning errors this morning so I thought I would just post. Thank you for your help!

Actually, yes and no. My wife is a serious talker and a serious nagger. Shortly after she arrived in the U.S., I nicknamed her "Chicken Mother" after an episode when she followed closely behind me at a salad bar and continually asked what each thing was and then commented ominously, repeatedly, and somewhat passive-aggressively on my use of any salad items that she thought weren't healthy. I imagined being followed by a chicken, flapping its wings and squawking and clucking excitedly. Of course, I know that "Chicken" is a rather dirty word in Chinese, but I fit the exact description of a "hen pecked husband" in English so there's no point in worrying too much about double meanings in slang. So, the clucking chicken imagery has stuck. And when she is talking just to talk (something that most Chinese women seem to do once they get to know you at all), I have come to call that "Burking", since chickens, in my mind, say "burk burk burk". Sometimes when she calls during the day she will just announce that she "needs to burk" and will then launch into a nearly one-sided conversation (it's not completely one-sided because we count my "mmm hrmmms" and "uh huhs" as participation). It can be about anything. I have listened to twenty-five minute plot summaries of twenty-two minute television shows. I know about all of the news from China, Japan, and the local Chinese and Japanese newspapers. Celebrity gossip... Fashion commentary... Cooking lectures and criticism on the things that were on the Food Network that afternoon... Oh... And the most important thing... She very, very, often likes to talk about how much things cost and what she wants to buy! Anyway, I would say that it is a normal symptom of Chinese Wife that you are experiencing. Enjoy!

Secret Chinese misconception #1: America is just like China only everyone is super rich. Secret Chinese misconception #2: "Rich" means no debt plus tons of money in the bank. People with credit card debt or a mortgage are crazy and stupid. (Note: A Chinese woman will look down on Americans for our debt lifestyle even though their friends and neighbors back home in China all now have mortgages and car loans. There is a double standard applied to Americans because of Misconception #1) Secret Chinese misconception #3: I've had KFC, McDonalds, etc. etc. in China. I like those foods in China. That must be what American food tastes like because those are American restaurants. I will be fine in America. Surely they will have paprika-covered squid cakes at McDonalds in America. Secret Chinese misconception #4: The Chinese way of doing everything is right. Most Chinese expect to come here and find the mythical land of streets paved with gold flowing with milk and honey. This is supported by their media. All Chinese movies that take place in America take place in Las Vegas, Hollywood, or Manhattan. When they find out that we're all 40 pounds overweight, we all work 60 hours a week, and we all live paycheck to paycheck, their illusions are shattered and they tend to react bitterly. This may lead to quarrels as we don't respond well to their disappointment (i.e. "I'll be darned if I'm going to let my home be belittled by a no good commie who grew up tending a coal fire and shitting in a hole in the ground. 14.5 trillion dollar GDP IN YOUR FACE). It then becomes a sticking point in the relationship and becomes more important than it should. Maybe you should give Chinese life a try? You may be better off considering the economy.

I asked my wife once why that money said, "Bank of Hell". She, with a straight face and even speaking tone responded that, "All Chinese go to hell." Heaven is apparently for Buddhas and gods and things. She didn't have the full scoop because she's a Gen-X-er like me and was taught from birth by the CCP teachers to ignore superstitions about the afterlife. Of course, I'm Catholic and we pay for masses to be said for the sake of our dead. I've lit candles and said rosaries for the departed so I guess it's all the same thing.

Don't die, Tsap.

Quote on that topic from my wife: "Well... Now I can complain about the government if I want to. But if I don't mow my lawn every week I get a ticket."

Ten bucks says she's not in China. Chinatown, maybe... The best thing to do would be just what the folks here said; send a letter the USCIS and get on with your life. Let this be a life lesson and move on.

No, no. Xiaofeizhu's Japaneses is MUCH better than mine! (<- I think this is the　best "bashful" emoticon) 本当に私の日本語が下手ですけど、初めて会ったの時に、私たちは日本語を話しました。　今、私の妻は私の中国語の家庭教師になって。 Xiaofeizhuさんは3つ言語を話すことができますか？ ご主人を会うの前に、中国語を話せましたか？ 　Wow!　Xiaofeizhuさんのご主人を始めて会ったの時はとてもロマンチックでした！　TVドラマのようですした！ Our meeting, in front of a broken welding machine, was less so. But my wife makes it sound more romantic by describing our meeting like this, "All the way back to America, you couldn't stop thinking of me. You dreamed that one day you would have a beautiful and talented woman like me with you. Before we contacted each other, your heart was sick with thinking that you would never see me again..." (I honestly remember a different story, but I have learned that it is better not to argue with her)

The worst part about SFO is that f&*%ing TRAIN! It takes like 45 minutes to get to the D&(! rental car counter. Not too bad of a POE, though, I imagine.

It is great. For one thing, we can stop keeping records of everything we do just in case we need it in an interview later! But it's also nice because now, we can visit China or wherever without worrying that we will get a USCIS "Request for Information" or Interview Schedule while we are away. Good luck to both of you! I don't think you will have trouble though. You two are of the close age and met in person and lived together in China so I am sure that your ten-year card will go just as quickly as ours did! ¾©¶¼¤Ç¡¢Ã㊤·¤Æ¤¤¤ëég¡¢»á¤¤¤Þ¤·¤¿¤«£¿¡¡Ë½¤¿¤Á¤ÏÃû¹ÅÎݤÇʼ¤á¤Æ»á¤¤¤Þ¤·¤¿¡¡£¨ÊËÊ£©¡£¡¡Ë½¤Ï×Ô„Ó܇»áÉç†T¤Ç¤¹¡£¡¡Ë½¤Ï˽¤ÎÆޤλáÉç¤ÎÈܽәCе¤òÙI¤¤¤Þ¤·¤¿¡£¡¡Æत¥í¥Þ¥ó¥Á¥Ã¥¯¤Ê¥é¥Ö・¥¹¥È¥ê©`¤Ç¤¹¤Í£¿¡¡<(-_^<) îBˆ¤Ã¤Æ¤¯¤À¤µ¤¤£¡¡¡ég¤â¤Ê¤¯¾v¥«©`¥É¤Îʤ¬ÍêÈ«¤Ë¤Ê¤ê¤Þ¤¹¡£

Tip for making T-shirts... You may be thinking, "You know what? I'm going to do things right! I'm going to buy high-quality Bella shirts with 6.8 oz cotton knit! It'll cost a little more, but people will appreciate my commitment to quality!" Don't think that. No one gives a crap. Just make the cheap stuff. No one will notice except the other store owners who will then chastise you for spending too much. And that is a super-cool logo!

Well, if you had biometrics in May, you may be pretty close to completion! We filed in April and we did biometrics in early may. So your acceptance letter may be right behind ours. But that's California service center. I saw online that the Vermont center was running at like 22 months (22 months!) or something. As for calling in to check, I don't know. I don't know if they would be receptive to that until after you pass the normal timeframe. I have imagined that the actual paperwork involved only takes a day or two and that the most of the time is spent waiting while the USCIS gets to your file and then queries other agencies (but the more experienced folks online here may have a more accurate idea). Anyway, if my theory of "a long wait and then like two days to do the work" is correct, they may not have anything to say to you if you call except, "You're in line". But, then again, they do have an 800 number so they must be ready for you to call... Also, I think my sweetie does want to go the citizenship route. Of course, everyone has to make their own decision as far as that kind of thing is concerned and I won't give her any pressure. But I hope she does go for it. International travel is so much easier with a Western passport. She agrees with me on that, but again, it's probably unethical to give someone pressure to abandon their citizenship in order to make vacationing easier. But also though, having spent almost half of her life outside of China, I don't think my little angel is too attached to her red passport. It would be interesting to see how various people's patriotism affects their choice to remain Chinese despite their choice of expatriate lifestyle and the relative convenience of travel. I wonder how much pressure comes from home. You know how much flak Gong Li got when she changed passports.

Well, it has been a very busy time. So many things going on that I really can't keep up, Work is crazy. The new house is in progress. I've even been living in Mexico for a while. BUT! My little sweetie's ten-year green card has been approved. We should have it in 60 days or less. It took just under four months from the California center. The USCIS website has not caught up yet, so, if you're watching the website and not seeing any changes, they may be working on your case and just not able to update the status online. I hope everyone else's adventure is proceeding well too.

My wife imported Chinese stuff for her store. Her family just sent it by mail (regular post). It was cheap and we had no trouble. Just look up the harmonization code and put it with a description on the shipping label. No problem! If you owe taxes, the post office will tell you when the stuff arrives. But we were never were charged taxes and we brought over about $500 (wholesale price) of stuff at a time. Good luck.

And also, Hey NUWORLD! Get that guy canned. That's just plain inappropriate. I don't know about legal action because of possible backlash on your respective incomes, but HR action would be a definite way to go. Jeez. In the 21st century? People still think this way??? Do you think it is racism or nationalism?

Americans do not look down on Chinese. We don't worry about Chinese power. The truth is even worse than you Chinese think, Tangtui. The truth is, most Americans just don't think about you Chinese at all. Except for Beijing, Shanghai, and Hong Kong, most Americans don't know the name of even one Chinese city. So don't worry about racism. It is really not very common. If you come here, you are just another American. 10% of Americans are Asian (Chinese, Korean, Japanese, Philippino). Most Americans can't tell which country you came from. Most Americans wouldn't care where you are from even if they knew. So don't worry about racism and nationalism. This is what you need to know about Americans: We are not Koreans or Japanese. We do not always compete about who is more developed or who is richer. We are all different. Maybe you can say, "Koreans think this about Chinese" or "Japanese think this about Koreans", but you can never say that about Americans. Each one of us is different and has different ideas. We do not care so much about what the other person has or what they do. Each person measures himself against himself. For most Americans, it does not make an American happy to see another person fail. It does make us happy to watch someone succeed. Most of us are good people that want to help others and make friends. But we are very self-centered. THIS ONE IS MOST IMPORTANT: We live in a big country surrounded by water. Many Americans never go to other countries except Canada or Mexico. Most Americans do not understand foreign people's opinions because we never really meet foreign people. Even foreign people in America are basically Americans to us. Most Americans don't think about foreign country issues or people. Most of us do not know what foreign people do or think. This is not because of American pride. It is simply because we do not meet each other. Please visit us and get to know us. You will find many good things and many bad things. You will find things you like and things you don't like. You will find things that are better in America. You will find things that are better in China. But I don't think you will find racism.

I can imagine subway sandwiches made by a Chinese fresh from China. 6" bread cut to 5" 1 piece of cheese, corners trimmed 1 slice of ham, corners trimmed LETTUCE LETTUCE LETTUCE 1 slice tomato 3 drops mayonnaise Include only one napkin per sandwich Use only one piece of sandwich paper Do you really need a bag? What? No tip???? You should have seen the nonsense my wife tried to pull at her store. ALSO... Yeah. Everything in America is bad. China is also bad, but God help me if I say that. It's cute how her nationalism also sparks up when she's been watching Chinese TV on the internet. She recently watched a series of shows about Bruce Lee (produced by CCTV). It essentially portrayed Bruce Lee as a Chinese mystic who came to America and taught American college professors about the glories of Chinese thinking and culture. Which is slightly different from the story I remember about a guy who came here fleeing the Hong Kong mob and then sold out his religion to make money in Hollywood finally dying of a prolonged drug overdose. I suppose those were particularly esoteric Raybans he used to wear? My girl was spikey with pro-China feeling for a week. I find the "love-hate" relationship that most Chinese have with China fascinating... and slightly annoying.

So far I have included our taxes, bank statements, mutual funds, retirement accounts, not the bonds (you can't own bonds jointly, apparently), insurance, life insurance beneficiary status, and tons of pictures. She is the liable party for our DSL because, well, because I already owned the house and all of the utilities before we met so this is the only one that she could take. I also included information about our train-wreck of a business. I felt that I needed to include this because my Sweetie we were both officers of the corporation. And also, because we lost so much money at the business, our taxable income looks like I took a huge pay cut last year unless you consider our epic failure at entrepreneurship. Our neighbor has offered to write us a letter. She sees us together all the time and has known us for years. I've got some friends to hit up too, but I'm nervous about asking mom and dad. I'm worried that they will not be perceived as credible sources.

Affidavits sworn by people who have known us. How important are they? Should we get them or not worry about it?

Well, I'm getting all of the evidence of our ongoing relationship together and the irrational questioning has begun. Should I include a picture of all of us together on Christmas even if my Mom happens to be wearing a fur coat in the picture because what if the immigration officer is a strong supporter of PETA and rejects our application on principle??? Sigh... It's gonna be a long few months.

I agree with you 100%. In the grand scheme of things, there is no real "middle class". If almost any one of us were to lose our job, how long before we were destitute or even homeless? A year? The true middle class, which was, in the past, at least partially independent, is gone. Now, there are just wage slaves. Some make more than others. But no one makes enough. We are allowed certain luxuries in order to make us think that we're excelling. But we never really do. Entrepreneurship is the last hope to be truly "middle class", I think.

The system in any country is the same. There are only two classes; The owners and the "wage-slaves". China has finally learned the Western concept of "Bread and Circuses" to control the mob, but the mob is still the mob and the rulers are still the rulers. People can be oppressed just as easily with mortgages as with tanks. When the glitter fades, you'll understand. And those Burberry slacks will become your prison clothes.

It may be true. But, as long as the Chinese government wants to maintain their current level of control over the population, it will never be in their best interest to foster an intelligent and free thinking middle class. At least for the foreseeable future, I would expect more of the same.

I hear that. Chinese university education is highly dubious. One night, while Spring Cleaning, my wife came across a box of my old college books. Keep in mind for the remainder of this story: My wife has two Bachelors degrees and a Masters. She was amazed at the size of the books. "What is this? Do Americans use one book for their whole college or something?" "No," I replied, "Each of those represents one semester." "You mean six months?" "Three months." "OMG! Do you do the whole book?" "Usually. But sometimes a professor will skip a chapter or two." "That's crazy! In China and Japan, the book is about this thick," here she indicates a width of about three-eighths of an inch, "And we only really finish about half of it." What I find to be the major difference between Eastern and Western education (true of China, Korea, India, and Japan. Mostly China, and a lot less India, but a little bit India), is that Western education focuses on problem solving and self reliance. Eastern education is based mostly on "In this situation do that. Now practice doing it so you can do it really fast." I remember my organic chemistry final at GMI. They gave me a cup of clear liquid, a lab, and 45 minutes and said, "Figure out what this stuff is. The answer will be 45% of your grade. Go." (Mine turned out to be a propyl alcohol). Japanese and Chinese engineers I've met didn't take organic chemistry. Folks from India and Korea took it, but there was no lab. My theory is that, the powers that be in some of these countries want to have technical people who don't think for themselves. Just think: In the West, 60% of people who enter college don't finish. In the East, it's harder to get in to college, but if you get in, you pretty much finish. And no, as long as we have sufficient domestic capacity, even if we become economically isolated, I will still have some Salad Sprinkles.

But, for the record, I still want Salad Sprinkles.