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You know your wife is cheap when she says 1.6 cents per minute is too much money to call China. She says that 1.6 cents will buy her 500g of vegetables. As much as I have tried to explain things to her, I still feel she will be shocked when she comes here and sees the prices of things here. Can any of you guys help me with this? :(

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Yes ... it's generally a problem ...

 

I've just tried to deal with one issue at a time.

 

Sometimes we debate it.

This morning she was wondering if it's necessary to get the prescription pain medicine (copay = $7) for our daughter when she gets 4 impacted wisdom teeth pulled tomorrow. Our discussion centered around the strategy of "getting ahead" of the pain with the medicine as opposed to making Er Mei suffer. I also pointed out that if we didn't use the medicine for Er Mei (not tooo likely!) that I could use it if my back pain flared up. Lao Po finally agreed to get the medicine.

 

Sometimes I just "decide".

Yesterday we were buying some landscaping plants. One key, slow growing, plant was available in a 5 gallon container for $15 and a 1 gallon container for $7. After a little discussion that I saw was not going to have the desired outcome I just told her I wanted it. She always seems to accept this unless it's something she really feels strongly about and then she'll push back a little.

 

Sometimes she gets her way and I complement her.

She saves money on things all the time through shrewd shopping, early bird sales, coupons, etc. Even if what she did is not what I would have done or seems to me to be a great effort for a modest savings, I always praise her. She really likes that as she sees it as excelling in doing "her job."

 

You just gotta take it one issue at a time and carefully choose where you want to push the issue.

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As much as I have tried to explain things to her, I still feel she will be shocked when she comes here and sees the prices of things here.

Shocked may not be strong enough... seems so many think american's are rich (due to income) but have no idea how much one can be taxed to death...

 

As for calling, do she have a computer? (thinking skype)

 

jim's 'case by case' is my experience too.. and I use the same tricks techniques :(

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Sometimes she gets her way and I complement her.

She saves money on things all the time through shrewd shopping, early bird sales, coupons, etc. Even if what she did is not what I would have done or seems to me to be a great effort for a modest savings, I always praise her. She really likes that as she sees it as excelling in doing "her job."

 

You just gotta take it one issue at a time and carefully choose where you want to push the issue.

 

That's a great point. I'm convinced however that my wife's financial shrewdness has no place in the book of logic. When I try to save money, I'm accused of being cheap. If I encourage her to spend more, get a better product, and not waste time saving a few cents, I become the foolish guy. Smiling and complimenting seem to work pretty well most of the time, but I do start going crazy waiting for a decision while the clock ticks.

 

:(

Edited by I-Luv-China (see edit history)
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As much as I have tried to explain things to her, I still feel she will be shocked when she comes here and sees the prices of things here.

Shocked may not be strong enough... seems so many think american's are rich (due to income) but have no idea how much one can be taxed to death...

 

As for calling, do she have a computer? (thinking skype)

 

jim's 'case by case' is my experience too.. and I use the same tricks techniques :(

 

I have definitely explained the tax system here to her many times. Her reply is always "no good."

She does have a computer (vintage 1995) and she will not let me buy her a better one. We can easily chat and see each other with the webcams but actually talking with msn, skype, or yahoo is of poor quality.

I think Jim's techniques are very good. But I wonder when Jim decides that he just wants something and gets it, does she keep this in her memory banks and bring it up later?

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I think Jim's techniques are very good. But I wonder when Jim decides that he just wants something and gets it, does she keep this in her memory banks and bring it up later?

 

I'm glad you brought that up ... it's a real pet peeve with me ...

 

My ex remembered all of my transgressions, real or imagined, forever. If she reach a slow point in criticizing me for current events, without skipping a beat, she could reach back 5-10-15 years and dredge something forward. It's one of the main reasons I divorced her.

 

With Lao Po ... totally the opposite ... if something is decided, it's decided ... or as she says "it's finished". I think others have reported similar behavior by their Chinese wives. It's a great trait and makes our marriage much better.

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I think Jim's techniques are very good. But I wonder when Jim decides that he just wants something and gets it, does she keep this in her memory banks and bring it up later?

 

I'm glad you brought that up ... it's a real pet peeve with me ...

 

My ex remembered all of my transgressions, real or imagined, forever. If she reach a slow point in criticizing me for current events, without skipping a beat, she could reach back 5-10-15 years and dredge something forward. It's one of the main reasons I divorced her.

 

With Lao Po ... totally the opposite ... if something is decided, it's decided ... or as she says "it's finished". I think others have reported similar behavior by their Chinese wives. It's a great trait and makes our marriage much better.

 

My Lily is exactly this way............when "it's finished....it's finished." I was wondering if this is a trait of chinese women in general. I was in the same situation as Jim's description of his ex...........soooooooo ........believe me, I love this about my Lao Po.

 

BTW to stay on topic, Lily is very frugal with the shopping...coupons, sales, etc. She'll always argue with me about spending money on her or our son. Just yesterday we went to a framing shop, because I wanted to have a watercolor that our son had painted framed. When she heard the price, she stopped the transaction and gave me her usual solution.........."I will buy this so cheap when we go back China"

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I think Jim's techniques are very good. But I wonder when Jim decides that he just wants something and gets it, does she keep this in her memory banks and bring it up later?

 

I'm glad you brought that up ... it's a real pet peeve with me ...

 

My ex remembered all of my transgressions, real or imagined, forever. If she reach a slow point in criticizing me for current events, without skipping a beat, she could reach back 5-10-15 years and dredge something forward. It's one of the main reasons I divorced her.

 

With Lao Po ... totally the opposite ... if something is decided, it's decided ... or as she says "it's finished". I think others have reported similar behavior by their Chinese wives. It's a great trait and makes our marriage much better.

 

My Lily is exactly this way............when "it's finished....it's finished." I was wondering if this is a trait of chinese women in general. I was in the same situation as Jim's description of his ex...........soooooooo ........believe me, I love this about my Lao Po.

 

BTW to stay on topic, Lily is very frugal with the shopping...coupons, sales, etc. She'll always argue with me about spending money on her or our son. Just yesterday we went to a framing shop, because I wanted to have a watercolor that our son had painted framed. When she heard the price, she stopped the transaction and gave me her usual solution.........."I will buy this so cheap when we go back China"

 

Same experience here.

Ex could pull crap out of the recesses of her memory that hapened years earlier. She would hold these against me especially when she thought she would lose an arguement. So it created a lose-lose problem.

With Lisa, once done, it is done even if she is unhappy about price. Doesn't matter if we decide together or I just do it becasue I'm American and understand American things more. She will gladly let things be done, forever.

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I know my wife is a shrewd buyer, she will seek the best price. However, I'm not convinced of her control. She maybe an impulse buyer... So far, she has purchased about 3 comforters for our bed, 2 of which I've already brought home. She has purchased a new coat which is in my home also, along with new shoes... I keep telling her that everything here is made in China :lol:

 

But I'm the cheapskate unless I'm in China, then I spend baby spend. ;)

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I know my wife is a shrewd buyer, she will seek the best price. However, I'm not convinced of her control. She maybe an impulse buyer... So far, she has purchased about 3 comforters for our bed, 2 of which I've already brought home. She has purchased a new coat which is in my home also, along with new shoes... I keep telling her that everything here is made in China :lol:

 

But I'm the cheapskate unless I'm in China, then I spend baby spend. ;)

 

Interesting. My wife is the exact opposite. She understands most things are made in China. She will wait to buy many things, until we go back to visit family. We collect so many things we end up shipping some stuff to get it all back.

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