Why do they go for so long?

[mercator]

I've seen many posts in the past year or so about people who watch their SO's head off to China for one, two, three months at a time.

 

I can't fathom this possibility. Why are they going for so long? I can see my wife heading to China for a couple weeks, but three months? No way. We spent too much time apart already.

 

Is it homesickness? Do they quit their jobs?

[LeeFisher3]

In our case it was the K-2 interview. But there were so many things she wanted to do, such as shop for clothing to bring back for both of us and the endless number of friends to visit.

 

My wife seems to have such a large number of friends that 2 weeks would hardly be enough time to see them and that is not counting the time with family.

[stacato]

I've seen many posts in the past year or so about people who watch their SO's head off to China for one, two, three months at a time.

 

I can't fathom this possibility.  Why are they going for so long?  I can see my wife heading to China for a couple weeks, but three months?  No way.  We spent too much time apart already.

 

Is it homesickness?  Do they quit their jobs?

226190[/snapback]

I totally agree with you, but if I say what I think as to why (In some of the cases) I know some people here will jump all over me . That's what happens when you always have to be carefull not to "hurt" someone, you don't say what you think, always PC.

 

The board becomes boring. But hey, nobody's feelings got "Hurt".

 

"The wusification of America"

[Guest pushbrk]

I've seen many posts in the past year or so about people who watch their SO's head off to China for one, two, three months at a time.

 

I can't fathom this possibility.  Why are they going for so long?  I can see my wife heading to China for a couple weeks, but three months?  No way.  We spent too much time apart already.

 

Is it homesickness?  Do they quit their jobs?

226190[/snapback]

I haven't heard anything to indicate people are quitting their jobs to make long visits to China. It appears to be as much a case of "because they can" as anything else. I don't like the idea of long separations either but it works both ways.

 

If my plan to have our primary residence in China after early retirement comes to be, we'll probably come back to the USA for 2 or 3 months every year to visit family. If my wife takes a job she can't leave for a long period (that's not the plan but the plan is flexible) I may well leave earlier and return later than she does. Our SO's are a long way from home.

[frank1538]

For Jingwen, it's always been a question of getting her money's worth. To her the cost of the airfare is justified only if she stays a month or longer. She doesn't work, so she has more flexibility than some.

 

Her last trip was for 45 days, and I joined her for the last two weeks. She planning another trip to go house hunting. While we haven't bought the tickets yet, I can guarantee it'll be at least a month.

[Dan R]

Yup getting your money's worth from the cost of going home is a good part of it. Besides there are family and friends to spend time with. Many have financial ties still that require going to take care of accounts, property and or old job ties still providing benefits.

 

Those that work at Asian restaurants reap one of the benefits of going for one or two months while a temp fills in. Temps aren't usually available for under a month. For a week or two everyone just works harder. Some restaurants that are large or the owner has several have a waitress that is the fill in for whoever is out for the month.

 

If they work for Chinese 6 days a week they need more than a week to recoup.

 

Besides most after a month or so of returning to Chinese language and ways start missing things American and think of us at home making a sweeter home coming.

 

I know some that go for a week or two but they get to go every three or four months.

[david_dawei]

My initial reaction is why wrap time concerns around it.. what is a long time in relation to a life together. They go for whatever length of time since they can and want to. I doubt they are counting days as we are, except in the idea of has been said, "getting one's money's worth"....

[skibum]

My wife went back for the first time in the 3 years she has been here. It was the only time she had between classes. Next year I should be able ot travel with her and we will try to get to Cambosia and Tibet before going to Nanjing.

I don't see anything unusual in someone going back for a couple of months though. Don't we all miss China?

[Trigg]

For Jingwen, it's always been a question of getting her money's worth.  To her the cost of the airfare is justified only if she stays a month or longer.  She doesn't work, so she has more flexibility than some.

 

Her last trip was for 45 days, and I joined her for the last two weeks.  She planning another trip to go house hunting.  While we haven't bought the tickets yet, I can guarantee it'll be at least a month.

226208[/snapback]

Yuppers, what Franky said. Wifey has been in China for almost a month with three weeks before her return. After two weeks she wanted to come home. I told her I'd change her tickets but she said "No husband, costing toooooo much money to stay only two weeks" She is obssessed with getting her monies worth no matter how miserable it makes her!!--Damned good thing cuzz i'd already booked my Vegas trip!!

 

 

Hmmmmmm, come to think of it she didn't tell me to stay in Vegas an extra couple of weeks--Hmmmmmmmmm?????????????

[Mick]

Great to hear from you Triggster. With wifey gone so long, how's that rubber goat holdin' up?

 

Seriously, Li made three trips back to China between last November and this May, all related to her work. First trip, three weeks; second trip, two weeks; third trip, four days. That last one was a killer for her. Most of her time gone was spent on a plane.

[Trigg]

Great to hear from you Triggster. With wifey gone so long, how's that rubber goat holdin' up? 

 

Seriously, Li made three trips back to China between last November and this May, all related to her work. First trip, three weeks; second trip, two weeks; third trip, four days. That last one was a killer for her. Most of her time gone was spent on a plane.

226250[/snapback]

It ain't so bad havin' her gone. She calls everyday to nag about something--takes away the 'I miss her" pains a bit!I just wish I knew where she puts the clean undies??

[Trigg]

Great to hear from you Triggster. With wifey gone so long, how's that rubber goat holdin' up? 

 

226250[/snapback]

Ahhhh, the rubber goat. Well Mick the poor ole thing has got a hole in it---but you already knew that!!

[Feathers268]

I can't speak for everyone, but in our case, the first part mirrors what has already been said.

With the price of airfare, It would be unthinkable for only a short stay along with the fact that in order to get everyone on the list to visit in, it will take a significant amount of time.

Also Jen realizes that after coming home she planson school, job, and family, the oportunity to travel for so long will be out of the question.

For those still waiting, be careful on how you handle this subject. "Puting your foot down" may keep her from visiting for a long time, but she WILL remember it. Will I like being alone for 10 weeks? No, but it is better than the original 18 months. Besides, after we come home, I'll have her for life.

[egolessvegan]

.....

I agree with Mercator. Any visits of more than a month seem excessive.

To me the point being missed here, is once you enter into a marriage there needs to be a commitment to one another that is more powerful than any other factor in your life. IF YOU DO NOT FEEL THIS , PERHAPS YOU MARRIED THE WRONG PERSON.

 

No matter what the circumstances, my wife and children are NUMBER ONE priority all the time. So the rest of my family, friends, activities, etc take a backseat to them.

 

 

Maybe I am old school. Call me what you want, but I am proud to say that nothing is more important to me than my wife and children.

 

THIS POST IS BASED ENTIRELY ON OPINION!

 

Ken

[egolessvegan]

.....

I agree with Mercator. Any visits of more than a month seem excessive.

To me the point being missed here, is once you enter into a marriage there needs to be a commitment to one another that is more powerful than any other factor in your life. IF YOU DO NOT FEEL THIS , PERHAPS YOU MARRIED THE WRONG PERSON.

 

No matter what the circumstances, my wife and children are NUMBER ONE priority all the time. So the rest of my family, friends, activities, etc take a backseat to them.

 

 

Maybe I am old school. Call me what you want, but I am proud to say that nothing is more important to me than my wife and children.

 

THIS POST IS BASED ENTIRELY ON OPINION!

 

Ken

226269[/snapback]

To all the husbands out there would you voluntarily leave your wives for 2 or 3 months for any reason????

 

I doubt it!!!!!!!!