Patronizing

[RLS]

I'm finding out that there are some very helpful members here and some have sent me very patronizing PM's like I'm some kind of idiot. I don't appreciate it. I'm just new at this and I'm trying to get information. So far, I have been polite in asking. Those who have helped me, thank you, and I appreciate it very much. Those who are patronizing and sarcastic - well, you know what you can do.

[HanLi]

support and suggestions can be rampant here, after all that is the whole reason for the existance of CFL... don't let some of the comments throw you off...

 

good luck

[frank1538]

There was a time when newbies on CFL were called "fresh fish" - taken from "The Shawshank Redemtion" and referring to the new prison inmates.

 

Some people forget that they too were once fresh fish and ignorant of the process. Everybody started out with virtually no knowledge, but a few who now know a thing or two about the process find it frustrating that a newbie would ask a question that to a more experienced individual would sound like a "stupid" question. Remember though, the only stupid question is the one not asked.

 

Oh, and one more thing. A person can be knowledgeable and still be a total idiot. CFL has its share of the good, the bad, and the ugly.

[jemmyell]

Hi Ron,

 

I'm sorry if some members have not been nice, that has not been my experience so far, but people react to other people differently. If somebody REALLY sends something nasty you should forward it to one of the moderators.

 

I haven't answered very many of your questions since my I-129F has not gotten to NOA2 yet. When it does, I can be a little more authoritive up to that stage. I don't think it is all that useful for someone to just read the consulate's websites and quote them to you. You can do that yourself!

 

The best part of CFL is tapping the membership's experiences to separate the theory from the practice, as practiced by USCIS and GUZ!

 

Most people here are sincere and really want to help each other.

 

-James

[tywy_99]

Any advice or comments and answers I make have always been in the open and to this board. I have never PM'ed anyone to give advice unless they PM'ed me first. I think all matters should stay open to the board unless a member PM's another member for advice. To talk down to someone in PM's, especially if they were unsolicited, is unacceptable. Keep it open and keep it to this board. Practice forum and chatroom etiquette.

RLS, sorry for the troubles. CFL is a wealth of information and knowledge. Don't let others ruin it for you. Ask any questions you might have and take advantage of the search feature to find information that may answer your questions. Also look in the FAQ's for information and answers. It's all here!

 

-good luck

[RLS]

Hi Ron,

 

I'm sorry if some members have not been nice, that has not been my experience so far, but people react to other people differently.  If somebody REALLY sends something nasty you should forward it to one of the moderators.

 

I haven't answered very many of your questions since my I-129F has not gotten to NOA2 yet.  When it does, I can be a little more authoritive up to that stage.  I don't think it is all that useful for someone to just read the consulate's websites and quote them to you.  You can do that yourself!

 

The best part of CFL is tapping the membership's experiences to separate the theory from the practice, as practiced by USCIS and GUZ!

 

Most people here are sincere and really want to help each other.

 

-James

187970[/snapback]

Thank you for that James. I know most people have good intentions.

Ron

[RLS]

Any advice or comments and answers I make have always been in the open and to this board. I have never PM'ed anyone to give advice unless they PM'ed me first. I think all matters should stay open to the board unless a member PM's another member for advice. To talk down to someone in PM's, especially if they were unsolicited, is unacceptable. Keep it open and keep it to this board. Practice forum and chatroom etiquette.

RLS, sorry for the troubles. CFL is a wealth of information and knowledge. Don't let others ruin it for you. Ask any questions you might have and take advantage of the search feature to find information that may answer your questions. Also look in the FAQ's for information and answers. It's all here!

 

-good luck

187989[/snapback]

RLS,

 

If my answer to your post asking for the Embassy address upset you in anyway then I apoligize. It was a bit vague for me to answer in it's original form. I was simply asking further questions to give you a more specific answer. I think MOST ALL here try our best to be helpful but we do comprise many unique personalities. I've perceived having my fur rubbed the wrong way also but GENERALLY further posts made it clear that the person was just trying to help- maybe a problem with wording things, maybe me.

 

Also I think a lot like TY in the above regards- short of some very specific personal content or idle chatter I do not use PM's much. I found out a while back a lot of good info regarding the CR-1 process (as it became more viable last year) was being passed by PM and THEREFORE not available to all.

188005[/snapback]

Thank you. I appreciate that.

[LeeFisher3]

There is one exception to the rule, as always, and I am sure Don would agree (this week ). You should feel free to patronize Trigg every chance you have. Please do not do it in a PM as you would not allow the rest of us gain pleasure from the post.

[jemmyell]

There is one exception to the rule, as always, and I am sure Don would agree (this week ). You should feel free to patronize Trigg every chance you have. Please do not do it in a PM as you would not allow the rest of us gain pleasure from the post. 

188020[/snapback]

That's not really fair Lee, that leaves Trigg the sole responsibility of patronizing Don. Maybe we should all PM to elect both Trigg and Don patronizers on a weekly basis?

 

-James

[warpedbored]

I knew Trigg was the patron saint of something.

[Trigg]

I knew Trigg was the patron saint of something.

188037[/snapback]

Then I wasn't dreaming when I thought I had been sainted???????? Hey, is being patronized a good thing??

[Matman]

I'm finding out that there are some very helpful members here and some have sent me very patronizing PM's like I'm some kind of idiot.  I don't appreciate it.  I'm just new at this and I'm trying to get information.  So far, I have been polite in asking.  Those who have helped me, thank you, and I appreciate it very much.  Those who are patronizing and sarcastic - well, you know what you can do.

187963[/snapback]

I'm new here to, you learn fast to not take anything personally. Only thing that matters is what you think of you, not how others think. I believe Everyone here wants to to be helpful or they would't say anything. It can be a bit overwhelming till you have the whole process figured out in your head.

Mat

[esun41]

I think it was well put that you should filter out the stuff for content and then judge for yourself what may be helpful.

 

Common sense is key Ron. This process will be difficult if you do not pay attention to the finer points and that is what most members will share with you is the experiences that they learned from so you don't go down that road.

 

Many members sacrifice a great deal of time to help on this site. My hat has always been off to these persons. A small % of this forum just post to see themselves post but they are seen from a mile away and are mostly patronized right back.

 

Now...put plastic over your keyboard to protect it from cheeto dust and get busy researching the processes...

 

(There will be a test so pay attention)

 

Eric

[frank1538]

I'm finding out that there are some very helpful members here and some have sent me very patronizing PM's like I'm some kind of idiot.  I don't appreciate it.  I'm just new at this and I'm trying to get information.  So far, I have been polite in asking.  Those who have helped me, thank you, and I appreciate it very much.  Those who are patronizing and sarcastic - well, you know what you can do.

187963[/snapback]

Sometimes the problem is in the delivery of the response. This reminds me of my old college days when a student in history class came out of left field with a statment about something. It was pretty clear the student didn't have the foggiest idea of what he was saying. The professor could have called the student an idiot for not knowing what he said. Rather, the prof said something like "well, you may be right, but if you are, then all that I've learned over the past 20 years may soon go down the drain."

[hunter]

support and suggestions can be rampant here, after all that is the whole reason for the existance of CFL... don't let some of the comments throw you off...

 

good luck

187964[/snapback]

All I really have to say in reply to this. I researched everything on the uscis web site, visited numbers of other websites, asked a few lawyers and called my congresspersons office and got some words of wisdom there, in addition my wife has done a lot of research for me too. All of course augmented by some well answered questions from this community. I think what I mean to say, the helpful people here can and will help you, but thats only 5% of the total 100% of the digging you will just need to do yourself. I think perhaps if someone is a bit testy with you, it could be that you are asking questions that you well should have looked around for yourself first, perhaps something really obvious like, what forms do you need to send in I-129F or something like that. Well, mate, good luck, and remember also, the peeps here are willingly helping out, so if you dont get along with em, find another web site to ask question on, cause all these people are nice and straight people in my experience and my humble opinion.