Guest Jim & Ling Posted February 27, 2003 Report Share Posted February 27, 2003 many good news recently,so do us.I was about to leave for interview in 10 days.It's been 14 months since we started visa application,17 months since we married,40 months since we met each other.....finally,we will be "really together" (different with those short time together) in half a month,how excited we should be!.........while,we are at a cold war, depressed and hurt. Months ago I asked him to prepare some interview paperwork like I-134 and tax return etc...."I will",he said.....weeks ago I told him interview date scheduled,he must hurry up to send me paperwork....."tomorrow",he said.... after pushs and fights he finally sent the mail out,but.."I am still waitting tax return and bank's letter,and not got time to download I-134 form",he said.........I questioned him if he really wants me to pass interview,really wants me to go America,he got mad because I don't trust him. Trust....I put it No. One of our marriage,I married him because he is 200% trustable....now,I am not sure....if he doesn't want me there why he can't stop whole visa thing earlier!!!.....family and friends are counting days for my departure,I can't tell them it might not happen....it's so hurt. Now we don't talk to each other..whatever he wants.....I feel cold... sorry to bring it,depressive....I just need a room to speak out. Link to comment
Mick Posted February 27, 2003 Report Share Posted February 27, 2003 I'm sorry to hear about your troubles, Ling. Hopefully everything will work out for you and your GG.Ditto Ling. Keep in mind all relationships are filled with peaks and valleys. Link to comment
Guest R2D2 Posted February 27, 2003 Report Share Posted February 27, 2003 many good news recently,so do us.I was about to leave for interview in 10 days.It's been 14 months since we started visa application,17 months since we married,40 months since we met each other.....finally,we will be "really together" (different with those short time together) in half a month,how excited we should be!.........while,we are at a cold war, depressed and hurt. Months ago I asked him to prepare some interview paperwork like I-134 and tax return etc...."I will",he said.....weeks ago I told him interview date scheduled,he must hurry up to send me paperwork....."tomorrow",he said.... after pushs and fights he finally sent the mail out,but.."I am still waitting tax return and bank's letter,and not got time to download I-134 form",he said.........I questioned him if he really wants me to pass interview,really wants me to go America,he got mad because I don't trust him. Trust....I put it No. One of our marriage,I married him because he is 200% trustable....now,I am not sure....if he doesn't want me there why he can't stop whole visa thing earlier!!!.....family and friends are counting days for my departure,I can't tell them it might not happen....it's so hurt. Now we don't talk to each other..whatever he wants.....I feel cold... sorry to bring it,depressive....I just need a room to speak out.Ling, This same scenario triggered a negative response in me just recently but we do not have NOA2 yet and I see no need to send financail statements at this time. This sounds like an instant playback. I am sure all will work out and you will get what you need for the interview. Sometimes, job loss or loss of income or not wanting to divulge income can cause such confusion. All will be fine. B) B) Link to comment
tparrent Posted February 27, 2003 Report Share Posted February 27, 2003 R2D2, I think you should reconsider your relctance to send financial statements. So what if it is not necessary yet? If your fiancee wants to have the paperwork now, send it to comfort her. Don't play games with this stuff. Sorry if it sounds like I am being critical. It is not my business but I just want to see all these relationships go smoothly and I sometimes get very sad at how little things build up and ruin potentially wonderful relationships. Anything my Ling wants, she gets immediately. And you know what? She's never asked for anything. Keep the flame burning. T Link to comment
kkimm Posted February 27, 2003 Report Share Posted February 27, 2003 R2D2, I think you should reconsider your relctance to send financial statements. So what if it is not necessary yet? If your fiancee wants to have the paperwork now, send it to comfort her. Don't play games with this stuff. Sorry if it sounds like I am being critical. It is not my business but I just want to see all these relationships go smoothly and I sometimes get very sad at how little things build up and ruin potentially wonderful relationships. Anything my Ling wants, she gets immediately. And you know what? She's never asked for anything. Keep the flame burning. T TP is right, over-preparation do no harm... Link to comment
tonado Posted February 27, 2003 Report Share Posted February 27, 2003 Doesn't the I-134 expire one year? So you don't want to have it done too soon before the interview. Link to comment
tonado Posted February 27, 2003 Report Share Posted February 27, 2003 Ling, Some people just like to things the last minutes. Like tax returns, many people in USA do it on the last day. All relationship goes thru good and bad cycles. And I had plenty of those. I hope everything will be fine. Link to comment
owenkrout Posted February 27, 2003 Report Share Posted February 27, 2003 We actually had a similar problem, but it was my wife who didn't want to give out the information. When filling out the forms for the initial visa application I needed the information on her ex husband. Name, date and place of birth, date of wedding, date of divorce, etc. She did not want to ever talk about him again and was upset that I insisted that I had to have the information. She was used to just not filling out the parts of forms she didn't feel where important and getting away with it in China. We worked through it and everything is fine now. We hope your misunderstanding clears up too. Link to comment
tonado Posted February 27, 2003 Report Share Posted February 27, 2003 We actually had a similar problem, but it was my wife who didn't want to give out the information. When filling out the forms for the initial visa application I needed the information on her ex husband. Name, date and place of birth, date of wedding, date of divorce, etc. She did not want to ever talk about him again and was upset that I insisted that I had to have the information. She was used to just not filling out the parts of forms she didn't feel where important and getting away with it in China. We worked through it and everything is fine now. We hope your misunderstanding clears up too.Doing the I-134 takes a lot of time. If you are not organized with your fiancial stuff, then it will take longer. Once she is here, the we have to do the I-864. More work and more pain. But we do it for love. B) Link to comment
Charlotte Posted February 27, 2003 Report Share Posted February 27, 2003 Ling, some people like to drag things to the last minute. This does not mean he does not trust you. As long as you will have it before your interview, that all matters. If he does not want you, he will tell you so. Please don't 2nd guess him. Link to comment
Argyle Posted February 27, 2003 Report Share Posted February 27, 2003 I agree with Tparrent and Kkimm, you can never be too well prepared! I sent all of the necessary documents to my fiancee 8 months ago. When I file my 2002 taxes next week, I will send her a notarized copy of that document also. The US mail has an international express service that is relatively inexpensive, and usually takes about 7 days. Ling, I hope that you and your fiance can work through this. It seems such a shame to have come this far ony to give up on the relationship. Link to comment
chinadave2001 Posted February 27, 2003 Report Share Posted February 27, 2003 I think he is just a procastinator - like many of us. It is not necessarily an indication of his love or trust. Try to be patient. dave Link to comment
AZwolfman Posted February 27, 2003 Report Share Posted February 27, 2003 Ling, It sounds like Jim may be just a typical American "procrastinator" like many of us. "Procrastinator" - one who always seems to delay doing things until later; it is normal for him to wait until the last minute. You have been a couple for over 3 years. After you come to America, you have another 3 months to get to know each other before you must decide to get married. If you are at all concerned, then set the wedding date for 2 months after your arrival in the U.S. Use that time to really get to know each other. I hope everything works out for you. Link to comment
tonado Posted February 27, 2003 Report Share Posted February 27, 2003 Ling, It sounds like Jim may be just a typical American "procrastinator" like many of us. "Procrastinator" - one who always seems to delay doing things until later; it is normal for him to wait until the last minute. You have been a couple for over 3 years. After you come to America, you have another 3 months to get to know each other before you must decide to get married. If you are at all concerned, then set the wedding date for 2 months after your arrival in the U.S. Use that time to really get to know each other. I hope everything works out for you. They are already married (husband and wife). Link to comment
AZwolfman Posted February 27, 2003 Report Share Posted February 27, 2003 Oops, thats right! Then I suggest many, many, many talks, phone calls and/or emails/chats. I am not clear whether or not you are living together at present. You need to discuss your concerns with him. Make him understand your feelings and fears, and that this is important to you. His love will help him to understand you. I suspect, however, that he may just have the common American quality of being a procrastinator. Link to comment
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