Why did you decide to marry outside your culture?

[Yuanyang]

... Why in the hell can't you just find a good mate here in the USA and why in the hell do you have to go around the world to do this????..

That's easy! I'm a Loser. I've been blacklisted by every woman within 5 the state region (especially the ones in the stip joints). I've had more doors closed in my face than a travelling salesman. So I was forced to leave my natural hunting grounds.

 

The answer I don't give is that I find Chinese ladies to be very beautiful and I found the most beautiful lady there! Also having been married for 27 years to a person that was at constant war with my family, her family and anyone else that would stick up there heads; It is very refreshing to have someone with a strong dedication to and sense of Family and what that means.

[esun41]

As wulongtea said... "Best thing that ever happened to me"

 

I tend to think that God had sent my angel to me!

 

Can you imagine my Chinese born wife with my Swedish last name?

 

The world is a small place after all... Like the ride at Disneyland!

[esun41]

I went to a friends New Years party 2004-2005 and was grilled with the same B.S. from a woman I had casual contact with at functions and parties prior. She seemed bent on dragging my relationship with my fiancee through the mud even though she has probably never spent a moment in her whole life with a person of a different culture. I found out later that this woman was trying to hook up with me and was P.O'd that I was taken.

 

I did not see race, culture, language barriers etc... when I decided to expand my relationship with my SO. I followed my head, my heart and my instincts. No one, (and I mean no one, no matter what culture they may be) has ever made my heart and soul sing like my Lucy does. This was a case of two human beings crossing paths and finding forever...

 

I dated casually before meeting Lucy and had met some pretty nice women. (Some Hispanic, some Caucasion, some Filipino) They didn't make my heart flutter or my head spin like Lucy did when I first met her.

 

I was looking for a life partner to share our lives together and happened upon a woman from China. It would have been more logical if she was from the USA but she wasn't... God's blessing to me!

[Yuanyang]

Right On Brother!!

[Jason+Joanna]

I got sick of American women. I have only found that they are very demanding, very self-centered, very egocentric, selfish, conceited, and have a very poor value system. Obviously there are very good American women, I am not saying none exist. However, I think more then a few bad apples have spoiled the bunch for me. Basically, I think that finding the proverbal good apple in the US has about the same chance of finding a needle in a hay-sack. Whereas, finding someone with very good values, that is kind, that is caring, that is selfless, that is very giving has a very good probablity in China at least. I cannot speak to other asian countries.

Edited August 23, 2005 by Jason+Joanna (see edit history)

[Jason+Joanna]

I don't hate American women, mind you. I have just had my share of bad apples. Like I said, there are good ones.

[Jason+Joanna]

Maybe I should state this in a different way, that does not come off like some kind of crazy mad-man that been burned one too many times....

 

I think I would ask the "naysayer", what he or she was looking for in a relationship. I think most people would be looking for the exact same thing I am looking for. I would explain to the "naysayer" that those qualities can be found in Chinese women, and much more. I would then ask how many American women really have those qualities...

 

And there is the answer, I believe.

[Jason+Joanna]

I don't want to come off being too uncouth... So I will leave it to your imagination on the bitching and nagging.

[Dennis143]

I don't want to come off being too uncouth... So I will leave it to your imagination on the bitching and nagging.

149138[/snapback]

Don't get me wrong, those are what I would have added. I understand what you are stating completely.

[ptcrusier333rph]

I didn't marry outside my culture-she did!

148812[/snapback]

you don't look Chinese

148813[/snapback]

That works out very well as she doesn't look Greek/Irish/American Indian

148822[/snapback]

thank god

[izus]

I think I would ask the "naysayer", what he or she was looking for in a relationship. I think most people would be looking for the exact same thing I am looking for. I would explain to the "naysayer" that those qualities can be found in Chinese women, and much more. I would then ask how many American women really have those qualities...

 

And there is the answer, I believe.

149127[/snapback]

well said Jason

[izus]

 

It never stops to amaze me how sometimes persons can ask hurtful or just dumb questions, as one of Carl's patrons asked him.  And, sometimes these dopes just don't deserve a straight and honest answer.  So, I will often just throw something back to shock them.  It usually works and they won't ask again.  I was attending a meeting where I work.  One of our scientist turned to me and asked in front of everyone "gee, China sure is a long way to go, just to get a piece of ass"  To say the least, I was shocked and dumbfounded for a moment. 

149075[/snapback]

i work out of a large contractors office.

dont you think i heard that stuff, you talk about being uncouth. i heard many name callings and other put downs. i think i heard that exact line about having to go all the way on the other side of this planet to get a piece of ass, i was the but-end of the jokes for those first couple of months. until i started traveling over to china every 5-6 months bringing pictures back of this fine young lady.

 

so now i always rub it in those name callers faces whenever i get a chance...

[Jeikun]

Should I not lie for a moment? Not rewrite my history and my thinking to make me feel like a better person? I joined a dating site to look for local women. My ex girlfriend had been a member before we met and had showed me the site. My ex wife was asian (Chinese/Japanese - there's 2 parents who were over the sino-Japanese hatred for you), as well as my first girlfriend. I like caucasian women... heck I like PRETTY women. Race is just one factor, like hair and eye color for me. But after dating 2 caucasian women in a row, I thought I'd check the site and see if there were any local asian women. There weren't. So I was browsing the foreign women just for some eye candy, and joking around with a friend of mine (making fun of the ugly ones, the ones with ridiculous english mistakes "I am need love man now" etc). Jun's pic made my eyes bug out frankly. If it hadn't I wouldn't have even got past the thumbnail. So yeah, I only considered her because she was hot. Sorry, but I look for physical attraction as catagory 1, and expect to be judged similarly (maybe why I only dated so much... lol) Don't get me wrong there has to be a lot more to a relationship, but if the physical isn't there neither am I. I'd rather be alone than settle. Well, so after seeing she was a babe, I HAD to read her profile. That's where it ceases to be shallow. I found her profile and essay touching, and very in tune with myself. I was so impressed that I knew I had no choice but to write her, other side of the world or not. I did not expect a response (she seemed too perfect - call me skeptical). But suprise suprise, 3 days later we were talking 2-6 hours a day. I tried to be "pragmatic" but was so quickly smitten, I've just been rushing forward blindly ever since.

 

Wow, that was pretty raw. My testosterone must be up this morning. But hell, I could word it to make it sound better - but why? I'm happy, she's happy. You could give me the old "it's not about looks, it's about heart" bit... but I always believed I could have both. Took till I was 30, but BINGO! I'm cashing out.

 

later

[Dennis143]

Should I not lie for a moment?  Not rewrite my history and my thinking to make me feel like a better person?  I joined a dating site to look for local women.  My ex girlfriend had been a member before we met and had showed me the site.  My ex wife was asian (Chinese/Japanese - there's 2 parents who were over the sino-Japanese hatred for you), as well as my first girlfriend.  I like caucasian women... heck I like PRETTY women.  Race is just one factor, like hair and eye color for me.  But after dating 2 caucasian women in a row, I thought I'd check the site and see if there were any local asian women.  There weren't.  So I was browsing the foreign women just for some eye candy, and joking around with a friend of mine (making fun of the ugly ones, the ones with ridiculous english mistakes "I am need love man now" etc).  Jun's pic made my eyes bug out frankly.  If it hadn't I wouldn't have even got past the thumbnail.  So yeah, I only considered her because she was hot.  Sorry, but I look for physical attraction as catagory 1, and expect to be judged similarly (maybe why I only dated so much... lol)  Don't get me wrong there has to be a lot more to a relationship, but if the physical isn't there neither am I.  I'd rather be alone than settle.  Well, so after seeing she was a babe, I HAD to read her profile.  That's where it ceases to be shallow.  I found her profile and essay touching, and very in tune with myself.  I was so impressed that I knew I had no choice but to write her, other side of the world or not.  I did not expect a response (she seemed too perfect - call me skeptical).  But suprise suprise, 3 days later we were talking 2-6 hours a day.  I tried to be "pragmatic" but was so quickly smitten, I've just been rushing forward blindly ever since.

 

Wow, that was pretty raw.  My testosterone must be up this morning.  But hell, I could word it to make it sound better - but why?  I'm happy, she's happy.  You could give me the old "it's not about looks, it's about heart" bit... but I always believed I could have both.  Took till I was 30, but BINGO!  I'm cashing out.

 

later

149199[/snapback]

Jason, So very truthful and very familiar too....

[Dennis143]

An old topic with a new twist in that you asked point blank why didn't we marry an american girl. I had a woman in my store recently who asked me the same thing only she said "couldn't you find an american girl?" as if I am such a loser that I had to import some sub-standard foreign female because no american woman would have me.  Pissed me off royally but since she was a customer I couldn't tell her off and kick her ass out. 

 

To answer your question I married a Chinese woman for many reasons.  First of all I am more attracted to asian women than caucasian women.  My ex wife is Japanese.  When we divorced I dated several local caucasian women but found them not as interesting.  I missed the intercultural exchange.  One day I got some spam in my inbox from AFF.  For kicks and giggles I filled out a profile and forgot about it.  Soon I was deluged with emails from Chinese women.  Most of them didn't seem sincere.  Glamour shots with emails that seemed as if they were casting a net and fishing.  Then one day I got one from Bing.  It was different.  The photo was a home photo and  the woman in the photo had obvious inteligence in her eyes.  The letter was honest and sincere.  We started writing back and forth and 2 1/2 years later we were married.  My wife's english isn't stellar but she speaks well enough that we have no trouble communicatiing. Now after 15 months of marriage I can tell you it was the best decision of my life. My wife is the most wonderful woman I have ever met and I couldn't be happier.

148949[/snapback]

The more I think about it Carl, I would have kicked her ass to the curb, customer or not!