Jaseball

Congrats!

This was a good account about 9/11 written for today. Felt it was a good read. http://blogs.moneycentral.msn.com/topstock...al-account.aspx

I was at work at a university. Had only been there for 8 months or so and was reading about it on the Internet. It was the same sort of deal. Thought about how horrible an accident it was and how that could possibly happen. We didn't have TV's at work, so I was reading about when the second plane hit and the pentagon hit. I don't remember the exact sequence, but when people knew it was terrorism they started to call family and friends on the East coast to check. Being all the way across the country in CA it was a strange feeling. I felt like I was watching a movie, but it was real. People were dying. Someone wanted to hurt my country. I just can't imagine actually being near the world trade center or the streets of NYC while that was happening. The collapse of both towers was horrendous. The one thing I do think we as a country should have done is put up the new WTC structures ASAP. Each year on Sep 11 when you see the lack of progress and the BS it angers me. Shanghai doesn't have the same restrictions or problems as building in the US, but they put up these crazy buildings all the time. As a symbol to terrorists and to the world we really should have that site up and running. 8 years is a pretty long time.

I'm convinced that it is the actual officer that luck happens to assign you as well as their mood that day, general attitude, and how they feel about you. In our case I was really worried about finances, but the officer just took my statements and counted everything and said it should be fine. I worried for months about that. I was afraid the officer would say something like my retirement funds were locked and off limits until I was 62 or whatever age and couldn't be counted, I had no current job, and deny me based off those and other reasons. I've been wondering if we pulled a different officer, would they have the authority and could they have denied us if they chose to make things difficult? It's just like when interviews happen in GUZ. If everyone's facts are correct it just seems the same case can be treated so many different ways depending on the officer you get. Regardless, the only thing you can do is prepare correctly. They mainly care about: 1) Photos of you, wife, and family members 2) Photos and receipts of trips and leisure time together 3) Proof of residence together and common shared accounts, credit cards, bank accounts, life and other insurance

She was given a pink and then they revoked it? You have no idea why? I was 80% sure my fiancee at the time would get a blue slip. I told her to prepare for it and no matter how sad or disappointing she should maintain composure and find out exactly why the blue was being issued as well as the steps we had to take to overcome the blue. Our blue was also just a 'need more time for processing,' but my fiancee asked and was told it was because she honestly said she used to be a member of the CCP and that requires GUZ to send the file back to the US for additional checks, which would be at least 6 months. We were told the check was normal procedure and that there was nothing additional we had to do, since she had already quit the party and had a letter stating she was no longer a member. I was afraid our petition would enter into a years long black hole and that is probably your fear as well. I haven't heard of a pink being issued and then switched to blue.

Looking at your time line you two met for the first time, got engaged, filed, were in the US and got married about 1 year before my fiancee got the second GUZ interview. We had a blue slip that took 6 extra months, but the entire process was 1.5 years long. It is pretty amazing the difference in speed between our two experiences.

My mandarin is decent, but to this day it is still hard for me to get intonations correctly. While in China in different parts it was amazing how the dialects and tones were so different. In some places I had no idea WTF they were saying.

If you are still on XP, the do a google search for 'Captura.' It's a free screen capture program where you can select portions of the screen to capture. We used QQ video chat. It's well known in China and many folks have accounts on there. I had a heck of a time registering because it was all in Chinese, but English support is far better now. What you do is you start a video chat and then you have his video in one corner, your video in another area, a center portion for text and you can use captura to capture jpg images of the two of you chatting. It is a hassle and takes a bit of work to set up, but I guarantee that having 50+ screen captures of both of you with different clothing, hair styles, and other differences together, online, chatting is an excellent piece of evidence and a good souvenir as well. How long have you two been officially together? Did he already propose? I personally think it would be good to take it a bit slow and let everything sink in and see how you two develop. Love is a powerful emotion and has driven many people to do extreme things and it may be a good move to let the neurotransmitters and Oxytocin to level out on your side a bit. Also, it is critical to make sure your partner is with you 100% and keeping up his end. Believe me, guys are not all 'whatever.' I've handled the bulk of the preparation, practice, and other aspects of our entire process, but I made sure my girl was aware of what I was doing, why, and that she was also involved and eager for things to proceed. She did her research, provided information, and we supported each other, so it was a team effort as it should be, but I did handle the brunt of it. You just have to tweak the form a bit. I don't think we can or should mess with the form itself. At worst, print out the form and pen in the dates.

It's the principle of the matter. If you say you are going to do something, then do it. It's not the gift itself, it's what was said and not completed.

Who knows. Perhaps the instructor knows the book and assignment are BS and is hoping for a large number of people to give up and quit. Less work for her.

Are you using a web cam? This is one of the best tools for both parties. It isn't face to face, but you can see expressions, hear the tone of voice, and it is far harder to hide things. When I used to Internet date with US women I'd communicate in email, chat, or phone a few times, then arrange a face to face meeting in a public coffee house, invite them to meet for a lunch, and 4 out of 5 times after meeting face to face I knew within 2 minutes that she didn't like me, I didn't like her or we both didn't like one another. I wouldn't use the term 'lover.' The word lover brings up images of physical connection/sex. I'm thinking you are looking more towards being exclusive and commitment to each other and the relationship. If I were a woman in your situation I would back away a little. Give the guy some space. Arrange for web video chats once a week. If you back away a little it makes it far more likely he'll pursue harder, but if you constantly contact him he has less reason or desire to contact you. Ask him how he sees your relationship as it stands. Tell him how in China a man and a woman who are committed to each other and talk about marriage is quite serious and you want to know if he is comfortable with that. Spend time thinking about if/when he does come to China. Are you prepared for what he may be expecting? How much time would you have together? What would you like to do, where would you like to spend time together? In the current economy finding a job may take quite some time and be difficult. Also, if he starts a new job he will have zero vacation time, so he would have to work and save up vacation time. Now he has plenty of free time, but the question is does he have savings to be able to afford the trip over now? If it takes around 6 months or over to find a new job, then 6 months to save just 5-7 days of vacation time you are realistically talking about 1 full year or more before he could come visit. Far longer if he has no savings and/or the job search takes longer.

Really, things must have changed. I remember you had to get a Hong Kong visa before, many years ago. Thanks! You still do as a Chinese citizen. It's because her final destination is the US and she already has the visa to travel to the US and you have an airline ticket that grants this option. Have to have both US visa and airline confirmation. That is the important part. My fiancee was adamant she would be stopped and not allowed through, but when I was in Hong Kong when we first arrived before my father and I headed to GUZ we checked at the airport with 2 different people because our return flights were from HK to Taipei to SFO.

They'll have to follow our building codes and employ folks working in the US. It's far better than the reverse with our companies shipping jobs, factories, and knowledge overseas. That picture with the apartment building is scary. Imagine trying to sell spots in the other two buildings still standing while the one that toppled over is still there.

You won't need a Hong Kong pass or visa if she has a US Visa and you have airline tickets showing a flight from HK to US in her name. We drove from Shenzhen (sp?) to HK through the border and were stopped and checked with no problems.

Here's the visa office link for HK. http://www.fmcoprc.gov.hk/eng/zgqz/qzlb/

That really makes no sense and the teacher really should know better. I believe we were assigned that book in sophomore high school English. Note: This was my 200'th post and just noticed I'm a sophomore member now. Quite coincidental, considering my 200'th post was the above comment.

Depending on how realistic the uniform looks, I could possibly be fooled with that one.

Our interview was at 9:15am in Sacramento today. We arrived 1 hour early. Almost arrived 2 hours early, but thankfully I decided to just wait and rest a bit more. They are on a pretty tight schedule and I can't imagine them seeing people earlier than stated. Waiting area was not crowded, but there were plenty of single people, couples, and families all waiting for interviews. We were called in at 9:20am. We had a middle aged, white female officer who was very professional. She had our mailed in marriage license and notarized birth certificate for my wife and asked us if we meant to send in these instead of copies. We told her we had extra copies made that those would be fine for their records. I had prepared a large messenger bag full of stuff. Folder of bills at our address. Folder of account statements. 150 or so photos + 5 of those $15+ photos you are offered on vacations while on tours/rides, copies of my initial petition, all the letters from USCIS, receipts/brochures and other stuff from our trips, a joint sponsor I-864 I had lined up, passports, etc. I wouldn't call the interview pleasant, but it was professional and we were made to feel welcome and were truly treated nicely. We had to raise our right hands and were sworn in. The officer asked for both our passports. She told us the I-94 was no longer necessary and would be removed in the office. She focused on my finances and asked about my employment. I told her I had been laid off and she asked about assets and our debts. I didn't volunteer the joint sponsor and just gave her copies of my most recent bank statements, retirement, and other assets. I'm pretty sure if your listed assets are $60K+ you should be ok. The officer asked for evidence of us sharing finances, so my wife showed her SS card and two credit cards. This along with the above assets were enough proof for the officer. We were asked how we met. How many times did I visit China? Did I specifically go to meet my then fiancee? Who else did I meet? Any family members? How much time did we spend together? What did we do on trip 2 and 3? When did I propose? We were asked about our actual marriage ceremony. How many people attended? Who went, how many times did my wife change dresses? Where was the ceremony held? Asked if we had photos, so I gave her the stack. She picked out about 5 photos, mainly of the both of us with my family and friends and wedding photos and asked if she could keep them and we said that would be fine. The past party membership in CCP came up again. The officer wasn't sure if this would matter and checked her computer, then went off to ask a supervisor, but came back and said it was not an issue. She asked my wife a few questions directly. What is her name? Are you attending school? Are you working? Did you study in China? What was our address? What was her birthday? Then there was the standard questions that are all hopefully 'no,' answers. Ever been arrested or convicted of a crime? Planning on being a terrorist? The officer kept writing notes, amending the submitted biographical profile on my fiancee, punched holes through all the new papers and added it to the file. The file was HUGE - It looked to be about 4 inches thick. The officer did ask at one point if I knew someone by the name of XXXX XXXXX and I said no and she removed a stack of papers. I guess that person's paper's were accidentally mixed into our file. These officers are probably assigned cases in advance. That was about it. The interview took about 30 minutes. I packed up all our stuff into the large bag. The officer said everything looks fine and we should get her conditional green card in 10 days or so. We did not get a stamp in my wife's passport, a receipt or paper showing we had been there, just the verbal congratulations and look for the green card in the mail. I probably used 5% or less of what I brought in there. Passports, updated financial documents, updated photos, wife's credit cards and SS card. I do get the feeling that the officer sizes the couple up and it is up to their discretion in many areas on how to proceed and what to ask for, so being overly prepared is far better. The officer said thanks for bringing in everything. Most couples came in with a manila file or small bag. It was like other people came in with a 6 or 12 pack of beer and we rolled in a keg. Quite a few people dressed in suits and fairly formal. We were dressed down in jeans and I had a polo shirt. The officer did not ask for and we didn't volunteer the EAD card. I'm glad we got to keep that, because until my wife get's her driver's license that is the only real ID in English she has. I also kept reminding myself to be 100% truthful, but to only answer what they asked and provide what they asked instead of babbling or volunteering unasked for information. I did screw up a few times and babble, but caught myself. Overall it was a good experience and I'm glad we passed.

Friends are the only family you get to choose. True, but unfortunately I've been let down pretty hard by many friends I chose that turned out to be not so great friends when there were a few bumps in my life. Of course, this time someone also stepped up and validated my faith in our friendship, so that was something I'll always remember.

Well, tomorrow is our interview day. Been preparing for the last two days and reading/posting here like crazy. My best friend stepped up and is a joint sponsor if needed. I hope we pass the interview without having to submit his support document. He doesn't have an issue with it, his wife and family know and are ok, but still I would rather be able to do this on our own. Printed out about 150 photos of our last China trip when I picked my then fiancee up, first meal we cooked together, restaurant outings, XMas, New Year, Chinese New Year, about 6 different vacations. I don't think I'm going to sleep too much tonight. Haven't been sleeping well for the past few days.

I'd say how they treat ex wives and kids is far more dependent on other factors than them being Chinese. 1) How do your ex and kids treat her? 2) How old are the kids? Are they coming over for visits or living at your home? 3) Is your new wife the jealous type? 4) etc

Make the appointment and make sure she is using a USCIS approved doctor.

That is an excellent start. Glad you found your passport and train tickets. Perhaps asking him to get a camera and using it would be a good investment. My girl had no computer, except at an Aunt's house, so she had to go to the smoke filled Internet cafe's about 1-2x a week for us to use the video chat. Make sure to get a screen capture program. I don't think they will listen to voice recordings. I also think the pictures of two people in QQ on video conference is highly effective. I had about 80 or so different sessions recorded by pictures. It's a tough call regarding filing now. You can now prove you were in country and made a trip, but without photos the question would be how to prove you were in country and met each other? You could always go about preparing the package and evidence, since you'll have to do it sooner or later. Depending on when you may be able to make another trip back to visit you may hold off a bit. You have to have him sign off on some forms before filing too. When the question did not apply I just put NONE or N/A We have similar backgrounds and stories. I came here from Taiwan while only 1 year old. I also speak Mandarin, but can't read or write. Met my then fiancee by a stroke of luck and we got along pretty much right away. I also had no clue about this entire visa process until I started to research after the first time I met my now wife. Best of luck on your journey and relationship. Plenty of folks here who will be happy to help guide you along the way.

I'm firmly convinced that the mood and type of person you happen to get for the interview is the most important factor. We have our AOS interview in 1 day. At least I am supposed to be with my fiancee for this interview and we're in the US. The GUZ experience was far worse because you are separated and have no chance to see if the CO is in a bad mood, you already have what they are asking for with you, they are harassing you, etc. Even though I was 80% sure my fiancee would get the blue slip in GUZ it was still disappointing beyond belief. It meant it would take that much longer to be together with an unknown wait time. We had a horrible blue slip reason, but I insisted we had to disclose the past party membership. You're doing it right. Just address the stated problems in greater detail and with extra care. Keep copies of everything. Take special care in how you send it overseas. Use tracking. Make sure to call your fiancee or email a bit more with encouragement. If you two are good for each other, then the reunion and being able to come home together is priceless. Well, actually there is a huge price in terms of emotion, time, and even financial, but you get my meaning.

But that's neither realistic nor the reality for the large majority...the reality is, many propose or marry on the first visit and then quickly file. By the time they see any "list" or find CFL, they are already in the fantasy phase and filed... edited: Fixed {quotes} in both posts While this may be true and to each their own I'm not the type to feel comfortable making a decision as important as someone to marry, much less someone who I need to sponsor and go through this process without being pretty darn sure we were good for each other. It's pretty easy to fool someone, act pleasant, be the image of the husband or wife for a few months, but being separated for months and possibly 1+ year while maintaining and documenting ongoing communications via email, phone, video conference, etc., is a far harder thing to pull off. The divorce rate on first marriages is around 33% and on second and third marriages 50%. The divorce court, family law, and most things in an actual divorce favor the female, which is a legacy of when women were financially dependent on men and not a true reflection of how things are now. I always told myself I wanted to get married, to have a decent wife to cherish, and to hopefully have kids, but I also knew marrying the wrong woman or someone who had ulterior motives would be worse than just being single and lonely.