carhil24

Hello Belinda, I apologize for not being able to help you with your question, because my wife and daughter came over on a K-1 and K-2 visa. But we are also in No. Calif and I was curious where you are. Thanks, Carl and Hongyu

We both agree here as well. My wife has been here almost 2 years, and we are still kicking around the idea about returning to China and finishing up our lives there. But it's not the country we live in, and it's not all of the people that live here, and it isn't even all of the people who have government jobs. It's only those who have government jobs and believe that this entitles them to some sort of power over the "common" people. They seem to forget who pays their wages, and they aren't really concerned about how well they do their jobs, because it basically takes an act of Congress to get one of them fired. If any of us who are in business for ourselves ran our companies that way, we would be down the tubes in no time at all, if we even were able to get out of the starting blocks. That's why I tend to believe that a letter thanking and complimenting these people is a waste of time, if you could even reach them with one anyway. Unfortunately, they do not have to depend on their customer service skills in order to draw repeat business, nor do they give a hoot if you ever come back again anyway. They have no interest whatsoever in producing a quality product nor do they have much pride in what they do. I tend to believe that some of them actually try their darndest to refuse a visa (one VO in particular comes to mind), because of their own personal agenda or beliefs. Obviously we will never be able to prove it, but I don't think that this is as far-fetched as we may think. At least in China they have it right, if you need something done, grease the wheels a little bit and it will be done accurately and promptly. Our government gets on their big white hypocritical horse and won't dare take a bribe, but allows their employees to perform their duties in a manner that would have them fired from any other private sector job. And unfortunately, we have to live with it. But that's all right, guys and gals, play the game, get through the process, and then tell them to shove it up their asses! Just make sure your SO is here and in your arms, without any chance of being sent back before you do so!

Chuck, if I understand correctly, you are there in GZ. If so, I would go inside there and raise holy hell. It doesn't matter that the guards can't speak English. Show them your passport and demand to be let into the consulate as an American citizen. I was prepared to do that if I had to, especially since our flight left the next day, but luckily for me I didn't have to. But that is one of the purposes of being there with your SO. Sometimes with government workers, you just have to throw your weight around a bit, and demand some assistance. It worked for me the time I was in Shanghai, were trying to find out the status of our case. I got tired of waiting on the normal line, and finally called the other number which gets you to a receptionist, and told her that I was an American citizen in China, and I demanded to talk to a VO. All of a sudden it was possible for me to be connected to the right department, no matter how many times she told me that it was impossible before. And it worked the same way when immediately afterwards I called the DOS in Washington DC and demanded to talk to someone who could help me. All I did was tell them I'm an American citizen in China, and I have a problem. Next thing you know I was talking to AS (the old-timers will remember him), and the rest is history. No matter who they think they are at times, the one thing they can never deny us is our rights as American citizens. Oh, they may try to trample us down sometimes, make us feel insignificant and worthless, and yes, they do have a lot of power, but in the end, you hold in your hands the rights as an American citizen. And whether they remember or know this, one of those rights is to have the government serve you as a citizen and a taxpayer. Sometimes it is a lot of work, but it can be done. Please keep in mind that it won't work if you get all emotional and lose your temper, just be firm and committed and make sure they understand that your are not going anywhere or quitting until you get a satisfactory answer or outcome. And each time you reach a person who seems to be an obstacle, don't get angry, just request their first and last name, and then ask to talk to their supervisor. Eventually, you will work your way up the chain and speak with someone who is willing to help you. Remember, the VO's, although they seem to have a lot of power, they are basically just clerks much like those at DMV. They have to answer to someone, and their superiors have to answer to someone else, and so on. And in reality, all of them have to answer to you as an American citizen. I'll never forget how much pressure was put on the personnel in the consulate, at DOS, and many politicians during the old days of this forum, and we were always counseling everyone to keep their cool, but don't give up. All lot of us became a thorn in the side of quite a few government employees, and they probably still wake up with nightmares because of it! Good luck, and I wish you and your SO the best. Don't give up, it only gets better after this! Carl & Hongyu

Hello Rick, I agree with Carl on this one as well. We know that GZ pre-examines all of the documents before the interview, and there can be no doubt that they have already been influenced one way or another. I would never go to the point of saying that they have already made a decision, but without a doubt after previewing the paperwork, they are leaning one way or another. It's like Carl said, you do not know what they are looking for and what they want to see when you go in. We brought mounds of emails, photos, phone bills, support documentation, etc, yet the VO didn't ask to see a thing. My fiancee at the time could not speak even one complete sentence in English, yet his only question regarding that was to ask her if I spoke Chinese. Never was there a mention of this video tape nonsense. To this day I do not know the certain answer, but I will stand behind what I have previously posted regarding this, and honestly believe that two things decided this case. 1. All of our paperwork was prepared by an Immigration Attorney (please, I do not want to delve into this subject again, I am merely stating my belief). 2. I was in GZ for the interview. So, whenever anyone asks me to recommend what to do, I will tell them to do whatever it takes to meet those two requirements. Now, would I stand here and state that this will guarantee a visa? No way, because it's impossible to delve into the minds of the VO's at GZ. Rick, my wife is also from Heilongjiang, and that's what worried me the most, because our plans were for her to leave immediately after the interview for America. I was far too worried that there would be some type of problem and a blue slip would be issued, and she would have to make that trip back to Heilongjiang and wait god knows how long for her visa (please keep in mind that at that time GZ quite often completed the interview and then sent the ladies back home to await further processing, supposedly 4-6 weeks, however often it was more like 4-6 months---some of the original Black Holers can attest to this). My wife also didn't want me to "waste" the money, but you have to understand a few things about the Chinese culture. First of all, they have a deep belief in themselves that they can overcome any obstacle set in front of them (this will really come home to you when she comes here and is ready to drive as soon as she arrives, regardless of the necessity of a written and driving test. Secondly, I think that sometimes they believe it is just a matter of money. In other words, just pay some extra money somewhere to someone, and this will enhance your chances of receiving the visa. Because this is the way most government officials work in China, they tend to believe that GZ is the same. I remember a post or two from way back where a lady was turned down and was actually blaming the petitioner for not paying "enough money." Thirdly, I believe that the typical Chinese woman does not want to be a burden on her husband. You will find out that they are very self-sufficient, and are not used to a man taking care of them, per se. So she doesn't want to cause you any undue hardship by asking you to accompany her. Now that I have laid this guilt trip on you, it is your decision to make. I understand all of the obstacles to being there (I went through much the same scenario with no vacation, etc, and ended up having to take an unpaid leave of absence), and it is a very difficult decision to make, especially if finances are tight, or your job security isn't great. But aside from the above reasons, and the fact that I agree with one of the posts which mentioned the petitioner being there helping their confidence, you will never, ever forget the feeling of seeing your SO walk out of the consulate with the visa in her hand. Forget the white slip, that didn't excite us too much. We were happy yes, but not completely comfortable until we had the visa. As I sit here and reminisce, tears still come to my eyes when I remember how excited and overjoyed we were when we were in the taxi heading to the airport (our flight actually left less than 2 hours after we picked up the visa), while examining the visa inside of the passports (my wife and her daughter's). Nothing had ever looked so beautiful. It's a feeling that I personally would be willing to go bankrupt or lose a job in order to experience, and I will never ever regret spending the extra money in order to do so. It made things a little tighter back here for the first year or so, but money is nothing compared to that moment. So, if you can somehow, someway swing it, meet her in GZ and be there for that special moment. And as you watch other people come out of the consulate with a visa in their hand and a smile on their face, you realize that these people are getting their first taste of "living the American dream," and it makes you feel honored and much more appreciative to be an American. It is no exaggeration for me to say that the 3 plus hours I waited outside the consulate for my fiancee, pacing up and down that street, that when I saw various people come out of the consulate so overwhelmed with excitement because of a simple visa to America, it really changed my life and helped me to reaffirm my firm belief that the United States of America is by far the best country in the world. Perfect? Far from it. Better than anywhere else? Damn right---just ask the hundreds of thousands of immigrants who are here. I apologize for being so long winded, its a bad habit of mine on this forum. If we were to receive a blue thinggie for total words, I think I would be at the top. Nonetheless, please accept our best wishes for you and your SO. Whether you can be there or not, I hope and pray everything goes as planned. God bless. Carl and Hongyu

Hello Mark and Leigh, First of all, congratulations on the return to the US for all of you! I still remember what it was like for us that day. Because I'm out of town for the next few days, I don't have time to respond to this thread right this instant, but I promise you I will respond when I get back. My wife (fiancee at the time) brought her 12 year old daughter with her at the time, and I think I can be of some help. Give me a couple of days, and I promise I will respond! Thanks, Carl

Hello all, Because I do a fair amount of hiring from time to time, I am very familiar with the I-9 requirements regarding this subject. In order for your K-1 applicant to work, she needs an EAD card, or a SSN card without the "Not Valid For Employment" stamp. But in order to get the normal SSN card, you must have the EAD card first (at least that's what we were told in Calif). If you apply for the SSN card first, you will get the "Not Valid For Employment" stamp SSN card, which does not allow you to work. And since the EAD card is only good for a year, you must reapply for the normal SSN card and be able to submit it to your employer BEFORE the expiration date of your EAD card, or you have to apply for an extension to your EAD card which I believe is somewhat costly. So it's entirely up to you as to how you want to proceed. There are pros and cons to both methods. In some instances you can use the "Not Valid For Employment" SSN card for identification, such as opening a checking account, tax purposes, etc. However, for tax purposes you can also request a Taxpayer Identification Number which you will need if your wife (or K-2 minor under 15-1/2) does not have a SSN. But the EAD card is also great for ID as it has a photo on it as well, and it does allow her to work (the I-9 requirement is the EAD card and a current passport) as soon as she receives it, even though you must apply for the normal SSN card as soon possible afterwards in order to receive it before the EAD expires. Good luck!

Keith, I apologize, but I keep having these additional thoughts come to mind after I've sent the post. Regarding the passport, it is also another method of proving to GZ that your wife has full custody of her daughter, as the local passport issuing agency will not issue a passport to a minor (not sure of the age requirement) without proof of full custody by the parent requesting the passport for the minor. Again, this is one of the hurdles we faced, and subsequently overcame, because for awhile, my wife's daughter's real father was fighting to not allow her to come to America. That was my introduction to the Chinese legal system, but that's another story. Good luck! Thanks, Carl

Keith, One other thing. There is an age requirement as to when they must have a passport, and I'm not sure what that is. At that time, we were told that my wife's daughter had to have a passport (she was 12 at the time), and therefore had to be at the interview with her passport in order to receive the visa, which is printed inside of the passport. Since that time, however, I believe I have read differently regarding the passport, but I am not sure. However, if she is able to get a passport in China, it does help over here for ID, especially for school registration, the Immunization Supplement, and SSN (Tax ID for minors) applications. Even if it is not required (and I'm not sure about this), I would recommend her getting the passport in China, attending the interview, and getting the visa placed into her passport. After all, you paid for it! Thanks, Carl

Hello Keith, When we went through the process nearly 2 years ago, my wife's daughter, who was 12 at the time, had to attend the interview and was required to have the medical examination, which wasn't quite as extensive as the exam for my wife. She also had to have several immunizations as well. I believe you can wait and have the immunizations over here as well, but they are considerably cheaper in China. Now, that being said, I'm not sure what the age requirement is, but I believe at that time it was 12 and over. Maybe someone has completed this process more recently, and can tell you for sure, but at that time we were required to bring her daughter along for the ride! Thanks, Carl

That's right, us Californians on this forum have to stick together against the overwhelming odds of Oregonians. By the way, everyone does know why all of us in California are always wearing sunglasses, right? It's not solely because of the sun, but because of all of the Oregonians coming down on vacation, and the first thing they do is put on shorts and take off shirts, and without sunglasses, all of that white skin is truly blinding!

Okay two things: As usual, every other state is copying us again!

I only have one reply: "Hasta La Vista, Baby!"

And if you are a good enough driver, you don't need to have auto insurance, but......it sure feels good to have it when you need it! But here in California, we don't have a choice! Of course, that's because of all of the Oregonians who come down to see what the sun looks like, and don't understand that the big "70" on the speed limit signs on I-5 actually mean you can drive over 55! That's for you, Carl, Don, and the rest of you web-footed tourists! And before this post is deleted, please remember two things: 1. I am a former Oregonian and I still root for the Oregon Ducks! 2. I am just kidding---don't take it so seriously!

No, I'm sorry if I muddied the waters a bit. You will still have to sign all of the forms, but they will tell you which forms are needed and where to sign. And it will still be up to you, and your fiancee (or wife) to gather all of the information. What they do, acting on your behalf (therefore the need for the Power of Attorney) is file the paperwork, make sure it is accurate, etc, etc. What the Power of Attorney does, is allow them to file the paperwork for you, as well as make inquiries if necessary, at the Service Centers, at DOS, at GZ, on your behalf of course. I feel that it is just a little more professional and possibly adds a little more legitimacy to the entire process, so when the mound of paperwork finally arrives at the VO's desk, it won't bring up any red flags and/or cause him to think this is anything but legitimate. Of course, once again I want everyone to understand, there is no proof that an attorney makes a difference one way or another, just a gut feeling I have, along with some comments made by individuals in a position to know. Please, do not make a decision based on what my gut feeling is, do whatever you think is best for your case and situation. I am just trying to explain to everyone why I feel a good Immigration Attorney is a good idea, much like a good insurance policy is, if you can afford it! Good luck!

Hello, 1. I never stated that an Immigration Attorney will expedite your case in normal situations. I only said that in my situation, when we discovered that GZ had never submitted my wife's name for the Security Check for four months, my attorneys were one of the reasons I was able to make contact with a DOS employee, who in turned contacted his friend at GZ, who in turned told us exactly what to do. And true to everybody's word, 6 weeks later, we had the visa in hand. 2. Whether you have an Attorney or not, you must still endure the delays at the Service Centers, with the Security Check, and at GZ. There is nothing an Immigration Attorney can do for you regarding the processing time. However, if there is a problem, it is like having an extra insurance policy. It is not a cure-all for the process, it is only professional back-up if needed. 3. I'm not sure what you are speaking of when you say 4 months of delays. If you are speaking of the filing of the application at the Service Center, and the Notices of Acceptance, etc, then I would not call those delays, your time frame is not abnormal whatsoever. You need to remember that this is a process that will take anywhere from 10 to 14 months as a rule, and whether or not you have an attorney will not change this. 4. Why do you care whether they speak Chinese or not? The consulate in GZ is an American consulate. From the people at the Service Centers, to the FBI employees who conduct the Security Check, to the VO's who interview your fiancee/wife, they are all American citizens, and they speak English. If you have a problem anywhere down the road with the process, it will not matter if your attorney, or anyone else for that matter, can speak Chinese whatsoever. You have to remember that you are dealing with the American government and their employees. Any delays that may occur in the process are not caused by anyone in the Chinese government, therefore, I don't think that it matters whether your attorney can speak Chinese or not. 5. Regarding our mutual firm, I must say that I have never had anyone with nothing less than a very professional attitude during the times I have called. I mentioned that today I called them just to find out if their 100% record was still intact, and one of the partners actually took some time to chat with me and find out how everything was going with my wife. Please realize that this firm is very busy, and at this point in the process for you, there is nothing they can do but wait along with you. Again, all they can do is give you the peace of mind that everything is being done in as professional a matter as possible, and it will turn out okay! 6. Please keep in mind that I am not speaking for all Immigration Attorneys, just the one who I used. I'm not sure which one Alex used, but I doubt very seriously it was this firm. Regarding explaining things to your wife, I remember having to do that quite often, especially when she would tell me stories about this woman or that woman, and failed visas here and there. I had to work very hard at times to ensure that my wife was obtaining exactly the documents my attorney had requested, no more or no less, regardless of what her friends were telling her. And very quickly I learned to tell her in Chinese, don't worry, my lawyer is handling it! And as fate would have it, the only error we (I say we because we are married now, and I don't want to hang her out to dry) made during the whole process, was when she, after listening to one of these friends, had us going to the wrong clinic in Beijing for the Medical Examination, and actually wasting a whole day. And if the truth be told, if I wouldn't have had an Attorney, I would have never known what form was needed from the doctor, and we would have been screwed at the interview. But as soon as I saw the form they had given her at the end of the day, I realized it was wrong, and after we went back inside, we found out that we were not at the correct Clinic, instead we were at the International Travelers Immunization Clinic. It only turned out to be a slight problem, as when we went to the correct clinic the next day, it turned out that the immunizations that she received the first day were correct, and that is where they would have sent us anyway to get the immunizations. But, that was the only error we made, and it was nothing we could blame on our attorney. Good luck with your endeavours, and be patient, it will happen!

Hello, 1. Unfortunately, the VO's at GZ have a lot of power, and even if the paperwork is in order, they can still turn down any request for a visa, whether it is K-1, K-3, or whatever, if they feel that there is fraud involved. Married or not, if they feel that the only reason the woman is marrying the American (or vice versus), is to come to America, they will refuse to issue the visa. And during the past few years, we have seen and heard of visas being refused for no good reason whatsoever (as far as we can tell), except for what possibly may be a predetermined decision. If you step back and look at it from their point of view, it really doesn't matter if the paperwork is in order or not. Anyone trying to scam them would ensure that the paperwork was perfect before attempting the scam. The VO's tend to look at proof of the relationship, possibly the age difference between the two people, the number of times the American has visited the Chinese person in China, etc, etc. Unfortunately, a few people on this forum tend to believe that the VO's job is to furnish our loved ones with visas, when in reality their job is to not allow anyone to enter our country under false pretenses. And just like any other government office, or any place of employment for that matter, there are both excellent and poor employees. Unfortunately for those of us who have to endure this process, when we do find ourselves mired in the red tape, it becomes a very emotional issue as we are having to put our entire lives on hold as we wait for them to perform their jobs as well as we are expected to perform them in the private sector. And speaking from experience, it is not a whole lot of fun waiting during this process, but there are two different ways of handling it. You can be patient and realize that this is a process that everyone before you has gone through and overcome, and use this time in a positive manner to get to know your fiancee/wife even better, and when the day arrives when she receives her visa, it will be one of the most happiest days of your lives, if not the happiest. For as long as I live, I will never, ever forget the look on my wife's face when she returned out of the consulate with her passport in her hand, and the beautiful visa inside. It was like a 1000 lb weight was lifted off of our shoulders, and the future was ours to conquer together! Or, you can spend a lot of time ranting and raving about the inequities of the system, etc, etc, wasting a lot of time and energy in the process, which could have been put to a more productive use. Because no matter how much you rant and rave, the process takes as long as it's going to take, and you must learn to live with it. 2. The Power of Attorney Form will be supplied by your Attorney (if you use one), which allows them to fill out all of the forms and send in the appropriate applications in your name. It merely allows them to work for you. What I liked about it, is that it was the top form in the stack given to the VO at the interview, therefore they were well aware that we used an Immigration Attorney. Good luck with your endeavours!

Hello all, I usually don't have much time to respond to posts, but I thought I would weigh in on this one and one other as well. Hiring a lawyer for this process is a lot like having enough life, home, or car insurance. If you have enough money and can afford it, why not have the extra, JUST IN CASE! Why not have the peace of mind if you can afford it? I hired an immigration attorney for this very reason (also, Candle was not around when I began the process), and I was very satisfied with the results. In hindsight, is it necessary? Of course not, but if I were to do it again, I would do it exactly the same way. Here are the reasons why: 1. Unless you have a lot of free time, it takes a lot of your time (either on your own, or asking questions at Candle), trying to make heads and tails out of all of the required Forms. It is true that you still have to collect the necessary information, but for me the process was so much smoother and easier because my attorney told me exactly what to collect and how to organize it. 2. I still believe to this day, that there is a credibility factor involved when a VO at GZ sees the Power of Attorney Form on the very top of the stack of forms during the interview. And although hiring an attorney does not necessarily mean that the application is a fraud or sham, it does lessen the chances of it being so, as not very many people want to shell out an additional $2000 for a sham. 3. Now, what I am going to say next, I have absolutely no proof for, other than the word of a DOS employee, who, if I even gave you his initials, would be remembered by those of us who were around during the Black Hole days. I believe I was one of the first people to come in contact with him during those days, and he wasn't actually even supposed to be involved with this process, but was temporarily assigned due to the overwhelming backlog of applications due to the newly-enacted Security Check requirement. And because GZ screwed up and had never forwarded my fiancee's name for 4 months, it was this DOS employee who single-handedly helped us correct the problem, and actually complete the process in approximately 11 months, even though we had lost 4 months. And remember, this was during the time of the Black Hole when it wasn't uncommon for applications to take well over a year to process. It was through my lawyer that I was able to contact this gentleman, and this gentleman in turn had a "friend" who just happened to be a VO in GZ. And through the efforts of these three individuals, we had the visa less than 6 weeks after the problem was solved. That was 6 weeks from the beginning of the Security Check to receiving the Visa, which was extremely fast at that time. And I was told during a phone call with the DOS person involved, was that by having an immigration attorney, they would be able to expedite the process, "because the VO's don't look at the applications as thoroughly if an immigration attorney is being used, as opposed to none." Is this true? No one can say for sure, and no one will even admit to this if you asked them, especially anyone at DOS. However, I have been noticing a few posts stating that some of you believe that the decision has already been made before the interview, which may or may not be true. But if it is true, this could be the one item that swings the determination in your favor. Again, it is just extra insurance. 4. Also, I may be wrong, but I don't ever remember seeing a post from someone who has been "blue-slipped" by GZ, and had used an Immigration Attorney for the process. It may have happened, but I don't remember it. And if it did, it was not with the Attorneys that I used. Before I give you their names, I also want to mention that one of the partners (there are two) has a Chinese wife, and went through the process several years ago, and is well aware of all of the challenges involved with GZ. In fact, he recently informed me that out of all of the Consulates they deal with, GZ is the only Consulate that still routinely turns down K-3 visa requests. He said that most other Consulates really try not to turn down the marriage visas, but that GZ doesn't have a problem doing so. Also, the VO's in GZ are aware of these attorneys (this according to both my attorney and the "friend" of the DOS employee I mentioned above), and occasionally even refer clients to them from the consulate. That being said, I would also like to inform you that I have spoken with one of the partners today, and through today, they have yet to have a single K-1 or K-3 visa turned down. Again, insurance! When the other partner told me that almost 3 years ago, that sealed the deal for me, because I just didn't want the headaches and uncertainties that were part of the process during those times. I wanted it done, and done accurately and quickly! 5. So, if you have the money, and can afford to do so, I would highly recommend you contact them. Their website can be found at www.fianceevisas.com. Their phone number is 858-483-0300. They are located in So. Calif. And maybe after the process is over, you might feel that it was a waste of money, but you know what, I feel that way quite often when I pay my house, car or life insurance bills, and have yet to collect anything from them. But they do give you a feeling of security, and speaking of security, it might even help your fiancee feel more secure about the fact that you are serious about this process, and are not just playing games with her (or him). I have read many posts regarding our own insecurities with this process, but you need to realize that they, too have their own insecurities as well, and if you know anything about the Chinese culture, you will realize that most Chinese women value security above love when it comes to relationships. But that's another whole discussion. 6. In addition to that, they will help you all the way through the AOS process up to and including the Citizenship requirements, if necessary. And although I have only called them once or twice since my wife arrived, they have always been more than willing to answer any questions I had. Again, just an additional benefit that you may or may not be interested in. 7. Now, one other thing I would like to say. If finances are tight, and it is a choice between using an Immigration Attorney, or you being present at the interview (in GZ at least), then by all means, make the trip to the interview. I have mentioned this a long time ago, but the questions posed to my fiancee came to a complete stop when after asking her if I had ever been to China, she replied, "Yes, 3 times before, and he is here now?" The VO replied, "He is here now?" She said, "Yes, and here is his passport." The VO said, "OK, case approved. You can pick up your visa tomorrow afternoon," and proceeded to stamp the paperwork. This is no exaggeration. He did not look at any of the supporting evidence she had brought, and she had literally brought a bag full. So, the question remains, did we have no problems with the interview because of the Power of Attorney on the first page of the paperwork (the decision was pre-determined) or was it because I was waiting there for her outside of the Consulate. We will never know, but if I had to choose, it would be to be present at the interview. If you can afford to do both, and it make you feel a lot more comfortable about doing it, by all means do so. But if you have to choose, I would recommend being there with your fiancee/wife. I apologize for being so long-winded, that's why I don't post much anymore. If they would give us blue thinggies for the amount of words per post, I would probably be up their near the top! BTW, I just want to wish everyone a Happy New Year, and for those of you who are in the same boat as the person who just returned back to the States without his fiancee, we were that couple several times, a couple of years ago, but it is all a distant memory now, and we are together and loving life, and looking forward to spending the rest of our lives together! Also, I just want to ensure that everyone knows that I am not an Immigration Attorney, nor will I receive any kickback from this post!

Hello Will, Just wanted to let you know that we live in Redding, and come down to Sacto 2-4 times per month. As you can see by my timeline, we have completed the process, with the exception of the final filing to remove the conditions from the green card after two years. Although we did the K-1 route, my wife did bring her daughter (12 years old at the time)with her. I may be able to help you with some of your questions, although I am not on this forum as often as I would like to be. You can send me an email if you wish. Carl and Hongyu

Funny you should bring that up. I had a conversation with one of my Chinese male friends, and after telling him about all of our adventures with my wife's driving lessons, he informed me that Chinese people automatically assume that they can do anything, and that they never worry about the consequences like we do. After hearing that, I finally understood why so many of our conversations during this period of time went something like this: Her: Why can't you teach me to drive today? Me: Because I have to work today. How about tomorrow? Her: Tomorrow? I need to practice every day! Me: Yes, I know, but I do have to work some days too. Her: Why can't I go to a Driver's School? Me: Because, like I told you before, the first week is all classroom work, and since it is in English, you will not be able to understand what they are teaching. Her: No problem! (Her favorite English expression) Me: Yes, there is a problem, because if you don't understand the classroom portion of what they are trying to teach you, they will not allow you on the road. Her: You just don't want me to drive because you want me to stay home all day. Me: Yes of course. I just love having to take you grocery shopping, to the mall, to your friend's house, etc. multiple times per week. Her: Living in America and being unable to drive or speak English is like being alive with no legs and no tongue. Me: Don't tempt me! Her: What's that supposed to mean? Me: Nothing dear, just an English expression. Her: So, can we go driving today? If this sounds familiar to any of you, you better check, because you are probably married to a Chinese woman! By the way, Tywy, we had several of those non-communicative days as well. In hindsight, sometimes those aren't that bad!

Hello all, I guess I need to give all of you a different variation on this theme. My wife, after needing to take the written test three times, finally got her Learner's Permit late last year. Since that time, we have been practicing on and off for the past 8 months. And when I say on and off, I mean on and off. At first everything was fine, we both had a sufficient amount of patience. I had enough patience trying to teach someone who not only had never been behind the wheel of a car in her life, but also for the longest time could not do more than one thing at the same time (as in steer, brake, and look out the windshield), and she having enough patience to realize that she would not be able to master this overnight. But although she will never admit to it, she was the one who gave up first. She was just totally frustrated with the whole process, and felt that it was something that she was never going to be able to accomplish. And I must admit, that I did lose my patience a couple of times (funny how crusing through a stop sign at a fairly busy intersection, and changing lanes without noticing the car next to you will do this to someone), and I was at the time more than happy to call it quits for awhile. Well, she ended up not even having the desire to try again for about three months, even though I continued to bring it up with her once I got my nerve back. I'm not sure about elsewhere, but in California you only have a year to take and pass the Driving Exam, or you have to start back at square one, and I didn't want her to have to retake the written exam again. Finally common sense prevailed, and we began the lessons again. Was it any better? Hell no! Did we quit again? No, although at times I was tempted to buy her a ticket back to China and tell her to come back when she could drive, and at times I think she was ready to take me up on the offer. May I say here, that this has got to be the hardest thing for a couple to go through. Say what you want about the Visa Process, and the culture and language difference, teaching your significant other who cannot speak very much English (and although my Chinese is fairly decent, I tend to forget how to speak it in times of stress, especially when another vehicle is about to broadside you, or you are about to separate an innocent pedestrian from the crosswalk), if you can get through this process with your marriage still intact, and both of you still in the same country, then you have a great foundation for the rest of your lives together. So after taking a leave of absence from the lessons, we picked it back up in June. But it was a very slow and arduous process, finally culminating in the day of reckoning (which by the way I rescheduled twice, both times because I felt that she wasn't even ready for it) arriving on September 14th. We arrive at the DMV office about an hour early, and practiced for awhile on the streets and in the neighborhoods where the testing typically occurs. During this time, not only did she almost hit a man in a crosswalk, she turned right on a red light without even yielding to traffic (in California you are allowed to turn right on a red light after stopping and checking for traffic) saying that the reason she did so was because the light was green. After explaining to her that the light she saw was the light for the street that she was trying to enter, not her light, we returned to the DMV with me telling her that although there was no way she was going to pass the test today, not to despair, because we still have two more tries after this one. So, the instructor (who happened to be female) comes out and is ready to begin the test. After she heard me talking to my wife in Chinese, she asked if my wife could speak English. I told her that she could speak and understand a little, but that we had practiced quite a bit, and she could understand the typical instructions such as, "turn right at the stop sign," "change lanes, " etc. Never the less, the instructor had this nervous look on her face and said she wished that I could accompany them in order to translate, but it was against the rules. I told her (lying through my teeth) that it should not be a problem and that I thought my wife would have no problem understanding the directions given to her. So they leave, and about 2 minutes later, a car that looks just like mine returns. I freak out because typically when they return that quickly it only can mean one thing: she did something really bad, and flunked the test right off the back. But thankfully it was a false alarm, not my car, just a similar color and model. So I'm waiting and waiting, and now it's going on about 20 minutes or so, and I am thinking that either she is doing fairly well (pretty doubtful) or she got in an accident. Finally she pulls back into the parking lot, and I glance at my wife's face, and she is not looking too happy. I'm thinking, okay, no problem, we just need to practice some more. At least now we will know exactly what they test, and where my wife went wrong, and we can concentrate on those areas. The instructor got out of the car, and the first thing she said was, "Your wife is a very good driver. She did very well. She passed!" I'm thinking, okay, where are the television cameras, because we have to be on Candid Camera or Punk'd or something of that nature. No cameras, no Alan Fundt or Ashton Kucher, just me standing there with a stunned look on my face, and the instructor handing me the test results which unbelievably show that my wife only made two mistakes (you can miss up to 15 and still pass): two times she stopped on the white line of a crosswalk. So we go inside, she gets her license and we leave. End of story? I should say not. For those of you who are still waiting for their fiancees or wives to arrive, let me give you some insight into the mind of a Chinese woman, and what you can look forward to when she does arrive. First of all, inside the DMV office, while we were waiting for the instructor to finish with the paperwork, my wife asked me about the errors. I explained what she did wrong, and she looked at me and stated that that had never happened, that she knows not to cross the white line of a crosswalk before stopping, and that we should talk to the instructor and tell her that she is mistaken. Luckily this conversation is occurring in Chinese, or she still might not have her license today. I told her it doesn't matter, she only made two minor mistakes, she got the license, who cares what occurred during the test? And then all the way home, this is what I heard: "See, you are not a good teacher. That lady told me that I am a good driver. You kept telling me that I was a bad driver. But I am a good driver, you are a bad teacher!" And of course reminding me about the two times that I rescheduled the test itself, informing me that she was probably ready both of those times. But in the long run I think I won this one, because I asked her how many other Chinese people (we know quite a few in our city) who passed the Driving Test on their first try? The answer is NONE! Not a single Chinese immigrant we know was able to pass the test on their first try! So, after considering that for awhile, I was back on her good side for the rest of that day, and did not have to run down to the grocery store and stock up on Cheetos! So for all of you who are still playing the waiting game, just a little taste of what your future still holds. But we look at it as another hurdle overcome, and are now looking to see what lies ahead. Everyday we are driving each other crazy, and both the culture and language differences at times are causing havoc, but I think she will agree with me that neither one of us would trade it for anything else in the world. Everyday together is a brand new experience, sometimes good, sometimes not so good, but still it is new and exciting, and our love and committment grows deeper each passing day. Guys, you will find that there will be days that she will drive you up the wall, but after awhile you will come back down, and when you do, she will still be there waiting for you. No, she may not often tell you she loves you (a cultural difference) nor that she is sorry (I'm not sure, a cultural difference or just my stubborn wife), but she will be there for you at the exact moment that you need her the most. She will at times make you cry, but more often than not she will make you smile, even laugh, and will cause you to wonder how you ever had a life without her. I still often wonder what a beautiful, practical, cultured Chinese woman saw in this sometimes impatient, bumbling, uncouth American man, but whatever it was, I am eternally thankful for it, and I will never forget it for the rest of our lives together. And I will never cease to thank God for the unbelievable way He brought us together, and is now helping us meld our two lives and cultures into one. And although she cannot read this, I want to thank my wife, Hongyu, for loving me and caring for me like no other woman has ever done so before. WODE QIZI, WO FEICHANG AI NI! WO BUNENG MEIYOU NI! (My wife, I love you very much! I cannot live without you!)

Hello all, To this day I firmly believe that one of the determining factors in our having no problems with the interview, despite the fact that my wife (fiancee at that time) could not speak very much English at all during that time, was the fact that I was at the consulate, and she had my passport with her during the interview. We did not produce a video, and even though I can speak enough Chinese to communicate fairly well with her, I was not asked to prove so. The officer did ask her about her English, and she said that I could speak Chinese, and he asked how many times I had been to China, and she replied, "4, and he's outside waiting right now." The officer asked her, "He's outside right now?" She confirmed that, and he immediately approved the visa and began stamping the paperwork. At no time did he look at any other proof of our relationship, even though we brought everything we could think of, including emails, phone records, greeting cards, and I even think the kitchen sink was in there somewhere. And to weigh in on another question that I have seen posted here recently: we pre-purchased the round-trip tickets and we actually flew out of Guangzhou the next day at 6:30 pm, less than 2 hours after picking up the visa at 4:30 pm. Maybe we were very lucky, but I think that me being there not only helped convince the officer that our relationship was legit, but I think it went a long way in helping my wife not to be too nervous during the whole ordeal. Actually, I was the one pacing up and down that street the whole 3 hours that she was inside. And I had every intention of demanding to see somebody in charge if for some reason her visa was refused, or even delayed. After all, it is our consulate, and those employees do work for us, even though they tend to forget it sometimes. At any rate, I think it just helps solidify the proof of the relationship. I think it is important enough to do whatever is necessary to accompany your fiancee to the consulate, even if it means upon your return to America, that you both are eating pork and beans for a few months! And one more thing I would like to add to this discussion, I will never, ever forget the smile on my wife's face when she came out of the consulate with the approval slip in her hand. It was a priceless moment, and one that I will remember for the rest of my life, and well worth every penny I spent in making that trip over there. Years from now, the fact that I spent all of my savings to make those trips to China will mean nothing to me, but all of the memories of what we went through to be together will be forever in our hearts, creating a foundation of love that pales in comparison to whatever amount of money was spent. For those of you still in the process and waiting for your loved one, please remember that your journey does have an end, and even though it may seem hopeless at times, the day the visa is approved will be one of the happiest days of your lives. And I can truly say now, even though it was a nightmare at times during the process, I can look back with somewhat fond memories of that period, all of the phone calls, the emails, the visits, and the tears, and think, it was well worth it, and I would gladly do it all over again if necessary. And although my wife never goes onto this site, I just want to tell her that I love you very much, and you have made me the happiest man in the world! In fact, I need to go tell her that right now! Bye!

Hello all, Finally, 2 years and 11 days after receiving NOA 1, the journey is completed. MY WIFE RECEIVED HER GREEN CARD! Yes, I know that we still have to file to remove the conditions in two years, but that is just minor paperwork! We were not expecting this so soon, but there it was in today's mail. My wife had the biggest smile on her face for quite awhile, and spent about an hour just looking at this card examining every little detail about it, and asking all types of questions about the meaning of almost every word and letter on it. I didn't care, because I could look at her and tell how proud she felt. For all of you who have yet to reach this point, let me tell you that when you do, you will finally realize that all of the work, heartache, stress, and money that both of you put into this endeavour is all worthwhile when your wife is able to hold that card in her hand. Today my wife felt like she is finally free, something that is still a fairly foreign concept in her homeland. She knows now that if she wants to return to visit her country, or any other country, she can, and afterwards return to America, just as if it was her place of birth. And though technically she still cannot be called an American, now she feels as if she belongs here a little bit more than she did before. And guys (and gals), even though it was a long, hard road at times, and did not always seem fair, especially with all of the discussions about "rights for illegal aliens", let me tell you that because we accomplished all of this correctly and legally, it sure does feel good! And just like anything else that takes a lot of effort, sweat, and tears to accomplish, after you do so, you can stand back and take a look at the finished product, and say, "Wow, we finally did it, and damn it sure feels good!" I wonder how many people who are here illegally can feel that proud and that good about their status? As I look back on all that had to be done to reach this point, all of the paperwork, the travelling, the waiting, the tears, the frustration, the red tape, etc, everything seems so minor now that she has her Green Card. May I loudly exclaim to everyone on this forum, "IT IS WORTH IT!" For all of you still on this road, whether at the beginning, middle, or nearing the end, don't ever lose sight of the fact that this road has a destination, and that if you persevere, together you both will one day reach it. Maybe not as soon as some, or faster than others, but you will reach it nevertheless. And just as a reminder, remember that no matter what your current point on this road is, while it is is important not to lose sight of the finish line, it is equally important to never, ever forget to live each and every day to its fullest and love each other with all of your hearts! GOOD LUCK and GOD BLESS TO ALL OF YOU AT CANDLE!

Hello Lori, Did you guys get the Phillipina gentleman? I don't recall his name, but he was very helpful with us. We didn't have that problem, and I am not sure why you did. He had the file (a very thick one) when we went into his office. He proceeded to ask several questions, and then said that my wife and her daughter passed, stamped the passports, and told them that it would be 2-3 months before the green card arrives. We received a "Welcome to America" letter for my wife 3-4 days ago, stating that the green card would arrive within 3 weeks. Today, the green card arrived for my wife, and the "Welcome" letter for her daughter. I assume that her green card will arrive within a week also. I apologize for the inconsistency of the procedures of our government agencies, but just be patient, it will come. At any rate, you are here, they won't send you back, so don't stress out! Good luck! Next time we get down to Fremont (we were there 3 weekends ago visiting a Chinese friend) we'll let you know, and maybe we can get together and compare notes!

That reminds me of something that happened just the other day. Ever since my wife has been here, she has been asking me to buy her a Chinese restaurant. Even though I am not totally against the idea, I am just not quite ready to retire from my job and put in 15-18 hours a day in some hot, greasy, smelly, kitchen, to earn what after all is said and done, probably minimum wage per hour. After countless discussions about the difficulties in buying, opening, and operating a restaurant in America, up till a couple of days ago, she still believed that the main reason I did not want to buy her a restaurant was because I did not love her enough to be willing to work with her. What happened a couple of days ago, you ask? She saw one of her Chinese friends in a supermarket the other day, and in the course of the conversation, this lady told her that since they have opened up their restaurant, she has lost 10 lbs, has been working 12-15 hours every day, and never realized that operating a restaurant was so difficult. So what does my wife do when we get home, she proceeds to tell me how difficult it is to open a restaurant in America. And being the great husband that I am, I answered, "Oh, really?"