Mick

In the five years I lived in China, I experienced both sides of living on campus issue. I think that a teacher's experience is at least somewhat impacted by their location. Are you in a more conservative area, or a more open locale? In my first year, I was in Hefei, capital of Anhui Province. In fact, that is where I met Li. She was a teacher in the high school across the street from the university. She was not allowed in my apartment past 9 pm and I had to be in by 11. The powers that be took a dim view of our relationship but that only made Li more inclined to tell them to shove it. Things got pretty testy and, although they wanted to renew my contract for a second year, I declined. We moved down to Shantou, on the northeast coast of Guangdong and the experience was the polar opposite. We were given a nice apartment to live in, they gave Li a job teaching English to incoming freshmen students. We ended up staying there a little over four years. Anhui is a very conservative area, whereas Guangdong, for the most part, is far more open.

I noticed both of the cities where we lived in China, Hefei and Shantou, were on the list. My first year in China was spent in Hefei and the air was a true horror. Li and I often ate at a revolving restaurant on the 28th floor of what was then the Holiday Inn. There were times when we could not see the ground because of the pollution. I developed bronchitis shortly after arriving there and pretty much hacked and coughed the whole time. When we moved down to Shantou things were better as the university was way out on the outskirts of the city, plus Shantou is a coastal city and the sea breeze helped thin things out a bit. Still, downtown at street level things were pretty bad at times, especially on very hot days. Shantou is located right on the Tropic of Cancer, at the same latitude as Havana, so it could get very hot down there.

RedDragon, it would seem from your statement about providing them with documentation that you have lived together for more than a year that you are trying to prove that you have a legitimate relationship, which I am sure you do. But was that why your petition was denied? Did they feel the relationship was not legitimate? Or was it denied for reasons connected with your past legal problems? The reason I ask this is that it would seem that if the denial was based on the legal issues, the documentation about living together would not be pertinent to their decision. Or is the documentation about living together for over a year a way of showing them that the two of you have been in the same home and there has been no evidence of harm to her? Either way, I hope this can work out for you and again, so sorry this has happened.

Dan and Randy, thanks for the background info. Now it makes a least a little more sense. I agree that if this law is applied with too broad a brush, it ends up harming people who, like you said, maybe made a mistake many years back but are otherwise stellar citizens. I hope there is someway Reddragon75 can get this resolved.

In studying your timeline, I noticed this was the second denial, is that correct? Looks like they denied a K1, then this most recent denial was for a K3. In the most recent denial (1/4/13), did they give you a reason for their decision? After more than five years of trying to get a visa, seems they would have a hard time justifying a refusal on the relationship not being legitimate. Did they give some other reason? You need to know why they denied it again in order to decide what your next course of action should be.

Li had one of these damnable things installed and it gave her fits. She was in constant pain, had repeated episodes of Pelvic Inflammatory Disease, swollen ovaries - you name it. One time the infection got so bad her white count went up to 17000 and her temp was 104. Finally, after much red tape and paying at least two "processing fees" (bribes), she was allowed to have it removed. The docs told her that due to scarring from the P.I.D. it would be unlikely that she would ever conceive or if she did, carry a pregnancy to full term. Yet miracle of miracles, four months after we returned to the States she was pregnant and Salina was born nine months later.

Thanks so much for posting this. Those photos are incredible. The article mentions that many were relocated for the hydroelectric project back in 1959. More recently, the Three Gorges Dam necessitated the removal of many citizens that had lived in various cities all their lives and where their families had lived for hundreds or even thousands of years. I suspect there are now many more underwater cities in that area of the mighty Chang Jiang. The Three Gorges project was very controversial and aroused a good bit of protest in China while I was living over there. It was the prototypical conflict between those in favor of progress and those whose priority was preservation of historical sites. Both sides have valid points, but it is a shame that many have to suffer. On a much smaller scale than Three Gorges, down here in the Tennessee Valley of northern Alabama and southern Tennessee, back in the 30s and 40s, many folks lost their homes and land and had to move when TVA built a series of dams along the Tennessee River, flooding large tracts of land and creating many beautiful lakes. A number of Civil War sites were lost in the process, as well as some very old Native American sites.

It is natural to feel the anger, rage, disappointment, and frustration that you are going through right now. Just don't let that cloud your perspective. Always keep in mind that this is not the final act in the play, unless you make it the final act. Like tsap said, if you keep plugging away at it, you'll get the visa. Take your life in China right now as temporary, but maybe longer than you had planned. Try and make the best of it. I know that is easier said than done, but it can be done. Your lady needs you right now as I am sure she is equally upset, maybe more so. I am sorry to hear of this turn of events but I think with grit and determination you can turn this thing around. If you can afford it, Mark Ellis is the man to see for sure. Good luck in your future endeavors.

With my chronic health problems, which are of a potentially fatal nature, this is something Li and I have discussed. She knows how to log on to Candle, using either my account or her own. As for meeting couples, we have done that on several occasions, both here and when we lived in China. All in all it was a positive experience. We met with Robert S. and his lovely lady and shared several nice meals. In China met with Owen Krout and had meeting with head of visa unit. His wife and he visited us in Shantou for a week afterwards. It is a great idea to stay in touch. I remember skibum very well as he was a fellow member of the Black Hole days.

Wishing you the best, Jesse. I remember well the hell you went through with your employer and getting the proper care. I seem to remember you went to Australia, is that right? I hope your foot is healed and that your future is a great one. You are so right about avoiding the medical system if at all possible. I was lucky in that I had a great cardiologist during my years over there, plus easy access to Hong Kong for everything else. I had friends who were not so fortunate.

Isn't he a bit young to be applying for a K-1, as his headgear implies?

Glad you had a great trip, griz. Welcome home and Happy New Year!

My first year in China was spent in Hefei, capital of Anhui Province. Because it was south of the "central heating line" there was no heat in the classrooms. It was brutally cold there in the winter and there were mornings where I literally had to scrap ice off the blackboard due to the cold and the humid air. I had a pair of gloves with the fingers cut out of the right hand so I could write on the blackboard. My feet got cold in late October and didn't warm up until spring. Of course, the next four years we lived down in Guangdong on the coast, in Shantou, and didn't have heat there either. But it was rarely cold.

That used to happen to us all the time when we taught in China. I remember one year, when the Mid-Autumn Festival and National Day (October 1) fell very, very close. We ended up with six days off, but then worked 12 days in a row to make up for it. Made no sense to me, but that was during my first year in China. I was to find that many things didn't make a lot of sense. Eventually, I just learned to roll with the punches, or maybe as Laozi would advise, go with the flow.

Li and I encountered a significant amount of hostility during our first year together and her employer even asked her not to be seen on the street with me. Li refused to obey this edict and basically told them to screw off. She is not one to have someone tell her what to do or not do. This was in Anhui, which is a notoriously conservative province. Things were so bad that we eventually moved to Guangdong, where things were polar opposite. In Shantou, where we lived for four years, we did not experience any problems at all. In Anhui, Li was not allowed in my apartment beyond 9 pm. In Shantou, the university provided us with an apartment even before our formal marriage and there was never any kind of restrictions. We were encouraged to live together and it was expected that we would do so. Our first year was back in 1997-98, and I suspect things are a bit looser even in Anhui now. As the gap between the number of males to females widens, I think things may become a bit more "tense," however.

The university where we Li and I taught for our last four years in China had a college level program in Chinese language and culture for the children of overseas Chinese. Most of the students were foreign born and from America, Australia, Canada, Malaysia, and especially Thailand. The fascinating thing was watching the native Chinese students interacting with them. Most of my students were English majors and fairly fluent, but they would often lapse into speaking Chinese to the students because they were Chinese. For some of the native students it was hard to wrap their heads around the fact that these foreign born Chinese were more a product of their own culture than Chinese culture.

At the same time, I wonder how much money flows back into China from the Overseas Chinese. I know, for example, that the city I lived in down in Guangdong (I lived down there for four years) benefited greatly from overseas money. In fact, the university where I lived and taught was founded and largely funded by a wealthy ex-resident who lives in Hong Kong. He used to come to the campus two or three times a year and I swear it was like a Papal visit whenever he would show up. If you are interested, Google Shantou University for some history on the university. Many schools in the city and a large number of Buddhist temples were funded by former residents now living in America, Canada, Singapore, Indonesia, Australia - the list goes on and on. It was estimated in those years that I lived in China (1997-2003) that the Overseas Chinese, if their wealth was taken together, would be equal to the fifth richest nation in the world. I am sure a lot more goes out than comes in, but it would be interesting to know how much comes back.

FuLai One fun thing I used to do with my students was teach them to sing "The 12 Days of Christmas." They always got a big kick out of it, especially singing it fast.

I imagine setting up the frets and getting the spacing exact is where a lot of novices make their first big mistake. It is just incredible how precise things have to be. I really admire your talent and your patience, Carl. I have really enjoyed watching this project unfold.

What is the purpose, I wonder, of putting plasticizer in liquor? Do they want to "stretch" its effects? "Drink our fire water and stay drunk longer!" Maybe they want to market it to the yoga/qigong crowd. "Drink our fire water and finally be able to do full lotus!" Seriously, why put it in there? I mean, if they are looking for some kind of "filler," they could use some thing else. Like in the days before Diet Coke, the word was out the they put granulated bat wings in Tab. Don't believe me? What does Tab spell backwards?

Sending out prayers for the families that lost loved ones in this horrid episode.

That was great! I never expected that result when he first started out. I thought he was just making cotton candy.....

Ireland is also the homeland of my family. It is really a fascinating, magical sort of place. Winter can be a bit rough, however. I once spent most of January over there. My feet got cold walking from the terminal to the car and I don't think they thawed out until I was back in Miami for two days.

What a horror that must have been. A peaceful Sunday morning transformed into a hell of bombs and strafing runs. I sometimes think back to what it must have been like to live in America in those days as the whole world seemed to come unglued. To the credit of the U.S., went from being isolated to fighting a war with fronts in the Pacific, Southeast Asia, in Europe, and in Africa. Our ultimate victory is a real testament to the soldiers, sailors, and airmen on the one hand, and on the efforts and sacrifices on the home front.

So happy to hear your story again, Carl. One day at a time, indeed and it just keeps on keeping on. 22 years and counting. Congrats on that string of days and I know from personal experience that it is no easy road. Alcoholism and other drug addictions are an insidious commodity, capable of sneaking up on a person and stealing their spirit and their life. As the Big Book says, it is "cunning, baffling, and powerful." I always took that to mean that it was clever, confusing, and a hell of a lot smarter than I was. Best wishes for at least another 22 years....